Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

skye1 Terrified about having a baby. Not happy like I feel I should be
  • replies: 7

I am 15 weeks pregnant and terrified. I don’t feel connected with my pregnancy, I’m reluctant to want to tell people. I find myself wishing I would just miscarry so I don’t have to go through feeling like this. I feel guilty that I feel this way and ... View more

I am 15 weeks pregnant and terrified. I don’t feel connected with my pregnancy, I’m reluctant to want to tell people. I find myself wishing I would just miscarry so I don’t have to go through feeling like this. I feel guilty that I feel this way and it breaks my heart. I am terrified thinking about if I will be a good mother, terrified that my child won’t be a good person, terrified that my partner will leave if I don’t look the same after having our baby, terrified my job will replace me and I’m left struggling and unable to help provide . Just terrified. I feel guilty that I should be over the moon but I’m not just emotionless and scared

Beans17 Is it me or them??
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, this is my first post. my anxiety has been ripe all weekend, I find myself looking at my wall for longer than I like to admit. The only thing keeping me sane is walking my dog. i was dating a guy for about 2 months, he seemed perfect. E... View more

Hey everyone, this is my first post. my anxiety has been ripe all weekend, I find myself looking at my wall for longer than I like to admit. The only thing keeping me sane is walking my dog. i was dating a guy for about 2 months, he seemed perfect. Everything I thought I’d never find all in one man. My anxiety got the better of me after about 3 weeks and I tried pushing him away. He was confused but I snapped myself out of it and decided to open up to him instead. I told him about my past, my dad that was never there, my mum who’s suffered depression my whole life and put it onto me a lot, the bullying in school ect.. I told him everything. I really felt like I could.., then a couple of weeks past and I had a concern in the relationship to which he turned around and said that’s your insecurity, not my issue. This became a more regular thing, he would say ‘you’re just being crazy’ - to things I asked my friends about and they 100% agreed that these things would bother them too, he told me I should talk to a psychologist (he’s done it before and said it helped him) so I took the steps to get a health plan from my doc. (Currently waiting to book in). Yet still every issue I had he still just reverted back to calling me crazy. It was hurting me more, me having opened up to this man and then it felt like he was using it against me. We had another argument about him going to a party instead of going away camping with me. Again, he said I just don’t trust him and I’m ‘not showing normal behaviour’ and he doesn’t want to be with someone he has to walk on eggshells around.. that was Friday night, he left, blocked me on everything and that’s that. He has a lot of family stuff going on atm so I don’t know if it’s more of a stress thing, my anxiety was too much for him to deal with? Or maybe I am just crazy and expect too much? Im so hurt, I really thought he was wonderful and I’d hate to think I ruined things by being ‘too much’ while he was already stressed out. I can’t even reach out to him. I just feel really shit

Larni18 Bad breakup
  • replies: 6

I was dating a guy for 4 months. I thought we were both very in love, we hardly ever fought and he usually treated me very well- he seemed like such a decent guy. He spent so much time with me and my family and I really took care of him- I did everyt... View more

I was dating a guy for 4 months. I thought we were both very in love, we hardly ever fought and he usually treated me very well- he seemed like such a decent guy. He spent so much time with me and my family and I really took care of him- I did everything I could to make him happy. We started fighting about ten days before we broke up and he was talking to me like crap. A girl contacted me last week to say she had been seeing him and she wanted to know if we were still together- we were. I sent him some angry texts and a voicemail and then proceeded to block him on everything. The girl wanted proof- she then proceeded to say he told her we were broken up (he said 3 months ago and then 2 months ago) but I had photos with time stamps of less than a month ago. She called me a psycho and a liar, said I had no proof. I told her to have him but she wouldn’t leave me alone so I blocked her too. I’m so crushed and still shocked at how different he was in reality to who I thought he was. I’m desperate to talk to him but I know he would only use it against me, it will make things worse and it will prolong my recovery. Does anyone have a past experience or advice to share? I wonder why he cheated (he was on tinder the whole time and there was multiple girls and they were like shorter relationships than ours but still not just sex), because I know I deserve better but it still feels so awful. Oh also, obviously it was a lie as he was saying it to others but he would frequently say he loved me so much and that he wanted to spend his life with me. He would get upset and just about cry if we argued and say he was scared he was “going to lose me” or that I would break up with me. It just makes no sense to me. He also would talk about how he had been cheating on so he would never ever do it. What kind of person could lie so much and for what purpose? He obviously didn’t really want to be with me.

sprinkles07 Seperation after 15+yrs, and 4 children
  • replies: 2

Hi all In Jan this year i found msgs between my husband and one of his work colleagues. Once confronted he said it had stayed as a friendship and crossed the line for about 2.5mths, and she ended up kissing him and he decided that irs not what he wan... View more

Hi all In Jan this year i found msgs between my husband and one of his work colleagues. Once confronted he said it had stayed as a friendship and crossed the line for about 2.5mths, and she ended up kissing him and he decided that irs not what he wanted to do.... he wanted to fix things at home. The msgs i read seemed to support this but there had been ones that had been deleted. Anyway, a week later, he moved into a little unit to sort this head out. He claimed he just couldn't get over what he had let happen and done to me as he was the most in love and happiest he's ever been with me. So we started as seperated but not broken up....then he said he just couldnt see past it, then he could,then he couldnt. Then it was he couldn't unblur the line with her as he still had to have alot of contaxt with her for work.....throughout the last 4mths he's been flat out lying to me, sleeping with me still and making out like we possibly had a chance. Then i got phone records and even after him telling me they onky have contact for work purposes, the phone records told a completely different story. And he still tried to pass that off as only worl and him telling her he couldn't be with her. He then ended up moving 45mins away, still telling me she's not in the picture, we slept together the night before he started applying for all these houses! And i had heard she was moving to the same place he coincidentally was trying to get a house. Anyway he moved, and i found out she's actuslly staying there with him when she doesn't have her child and our kids aren't there!! Why lie!! Anyway, I'm heartbroken and so sad all the time. I've stayed seeing a counsellor and she was great. But its at night i have the most trouble i just csnt get the thought of them being together out of my head. How coukd he do that, did 15yrs mean nothing...... I'm stuck in or family home at this stage, its taking its toll. But our 17yr old is mid way through yr12 so we can't really move atm. I just feel stuck.... and unable to move past the feeling of wanting him to be with me and i hate it. I know time will help, but.... it's really hard.

PurpleRed How do I drop this "friend"?
  • replies: 2

I'm a 26 year old online content creator with a modest following. I became friends with another content creator with a slightly larger following. We met through a Facebook group for creators, and she was an admin. This was around August 2019. Fast fo... View more

I'm a 26 year old online content creator with a modest following. I became friends with another content creator with a slightly larger following. We met through a Facebook group for creators, and she was an admin. This was around August 2019. Fast forward to the end of 2019 - The group goes downhill fast. Her fellow admins have the claws out for me and many other members. I leave the group and don't return. She's upset I left. I warned her they'd do the same to her. A couple of months after that, they do the same to her and she gets kicked out of her own group around February 2020. It's now mid June, and she still doesn't shut up about them and how they've sabotaged her YouTube channel with dislikes. This woman is 39, btw. I feel like she's clinging onto me because I understand her situation. I'm so sick of hearing about it. I've tried ending the friendship to no avail, telling her I wont be online for a while, delaying the time between messages by a day, sometimes even days and even telling her directly that I don't want to be friends and I find her constant whining messages annoying. She always finds a way to weasel her way back in and she's always the one who always initiates conversation. I guess the question is: How do I get rid of her? I could just block her, but I don't want her telling people about my secret Instagram account. That's my main concern if I break this friendship off. Should I delete this IG account and just make a new one without her? Thanks for reading.

rainbowsunsets Depressive episode and losing friends
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am a first time poster here and I have depression and OCD. I have been in my high school friendship group for years, there are 5 of us. I am now 33. They have always been aware of my depression and OCD. They have never really understood but we ... View more

Hi, I am a first time poster here and I have depression and OCD. I have been in my high school friendship group for years, there are 5 of us. I am now 33. They have always been aware of my depression and OCD. They have never really understood but we have had our good times and when I’ve been well I’m a great friend and I don’t discuss my day to day battles with my mental health. Then when I have episodes I isolate and can’t find it within myself to answer texts or socialise. I have explained this to them. In the last three months I have been in the deepest and darkest depression of my life and I have just come out of it about a week ago. So I started contacting my friends to say hi and asked to catch up. One girl whom I considered to be the closest to me just sent me a text message ending our friendship a couple of hours ago by saying that she struggles with me cause coming in and out of her life and that when I am available she finds the frequency of my communication all encompassing and it stresses her out and effects her mental health. She said she has enjoyed our friendship over the years but feels we are going in different direction (this I don’t understand). Then she just says she doesn’t want to catch up and she hopes that I respect her decision and just wished me all the best. I text her back asking to talk on phone about it. She text back saying, “enough has been said and please respect my decision. The rest of the girls are not texting me back either. I think they are all gone. I am in shock and sad and don’t know why this is happening to me......

Guest0090 Blaming myself for them breaking up with me.
  • replies: 9

Hey guys. I'm going through a very rough break up. We were engaged and she broke our entire relationship off becausebshe couldn't let go of past issues. Mistakes I made in the past include opening up to her about my issues when she asked me to, this ... View more

Hey guys. I'm going through a very rough break up. We were engaged and she broke our entire relationship off becausebshe couldn't let go of past issues. Mistakes I made in the past include opening up to her about my issues when she asked me to, this relates to family issues and she said that it made her feel like her issues didn't matter. I actively tried to cope with these issues on my own because it isn't fair to put them on your partner but this upset her more because she felt I didn't trust her. I have explained multiple times that it is my issue and that i don't want it to affevt our relationship but it did. I couldn't be sexual with her due to these stresses, and explained that it was the stresses and not her, she's the most beautiful person in the world to me and I've never even looked at anyone else. She kept things from me for fear I would be angry if she spoke up. In the past I have gotten frustrated when she pushes issues onto me but I never ever get angry, I simply ask her to give me time to think about it and then we would work on a solution and things would be okay again.

Over_thinker Am I over thinking things?
  • replies: 8

I have suffered depression and anxiety for most of my life. Lately my anxiety is getting out of control and I can feel my depression creeping back. My husband has been texting and receiving texts from a coworker constantly. Most days they they text, ... View more

I have suffered depression and anxiety for most of my life. Lately my anxiety is getting out of control and I can feel my depression creeping back. My husband has been texting and receiving texts from a coworker constantly. Most days they they text, it could be about work related stuff or everyday small chat (football, what’s for dinner, just checking in to see how one is going) texting can be late at night when he is at home and sometimes up 3 times during the day morning, midday and nighttime with 10-15 msg being exchanged each time My husband and I have been together for nearly 25yr, married for 15 of those. Have 3 gorgeous children. I have spoken to him about it and he reassured me they are nothing but friends. She is 20 yrs younger then me and gorgeous looking. And I feel like I’m stuck in a mummy body. I am going crazy thinking about it all the time. Questioning everything he does.

pinktulip Parents and therapy *TRIGGER WARNING*
  • replies: 8

Hi there, I have a question about dealing with family when you have mental health issues and still living with them. If your parents are paying for your therapy/medical treatment and they get distressed with your mental state at times and then insist... View more

Hi there, I have a question about dealing with family when you have mental health issues and still living with them. If your parents are paying for your therapy/medical treatment and they get distressed with your mental state at times and then insist on talking to the psychologist or psychiatrist... (you've over 18) Am I meant to go to psychology or psychiatry appointments never with parents...? Also, how often should I have therapy? Because I've had the problem when I had 10 medicare sessions and I said I wanted to psychologist alone and my mother insisted on being in the room with me - normally, I had let her in. I mean if you thought you might have bipolar disorder and your mother thinks you react to all medications and starts saying how I reacted to fever medication when I was a baby (I don't now react to that medication in that way) and on and on re distress Or then I got worse so my parents didn't restrict to 10 sessions (because they said I didn't talk previously) and had weekly sessions... but there's been the problem where you haven't been told that a particular therapy was designed to be able to be implemented in group environments... but were told to go to a psychologist 1 on 1 (bought the workbook after the fact). It's like because I have my parents - people didn't tell me about the group option... Also, if I've been trying to do relaxing activities and these activities have been making me distressed... Then I get told to keep doing them... Or I was seeing a psychologist and then my parents decide not to go back to that one... Like it could be that particular therapy not being appropriate or person still training in it... Or being told to go to a psychiatrist... but you have been getting agitated talking to the psychiatrist - re condescending comments re a lifelong condition and smiling... Didn't want to raise it to parents but when I did; my mother was like... you should have said something earlier about it. Also, I'm not sure what I'm meant to do... Because I've had the experience where a psychiatrist told me I had the right to **** myself because I was over 18... But because my parents were there, the psychiatrist repeated this to them in the vicinity of her 5 or 6 year old daughter (which had been picked up from school by the receptionist) - If they hadn't been there, would they have believed me? So I don't like how confiding in my parents can distress them but if I do sometimes they distress me further.

white knight Relationship strife? the peace pipe
  • replies: 18

To marry my best friend sounds ideal, but thete was one problem, we both have firey tempers. We've been married 6 years. After 2 years we had to find a method of surviving our clashes. We both agreed we cant eliminate our temper, nor our need to stor... View more

To marry my best friend sounds ideal, but thete was one problem, we both have firey tempers. We've been married 6 years. After 2 years we had to find a method of surviving our clashes. We both agreed we cant eliminate our temper, nor our need to storm off in a desperate need to escape the other person. Having considered that, I came up with this solution. Couple A and B have an arguement and one storms of to his shed or her the bbq area. The rules are Never follow them initially Never drive Never leave the property. The one that stormed off has to feel that they wont be hounded. They need time out. This is a reasonable request. After a time often minimum 20 minutes max 1 hour one person will feel like approaching the other for reconciliation. It doesnt matter who it is. Pride has no place here. Person A approaches and asks person B if they'd like a cuppa. Person B might have thought they werent far off doing the same so they gave their cuppa. One rule here- no raising of voices. If person B refuses the offer it simply means they are still fuming. Thats ok. Person A returns indoors. It is then person B to approach person A for a cuppa when ready. You will be astounded how well this works...why? Because the time out period is so effective in calming you down. You are left alone with the knowledge that if the other person shows up it will be only to offer a peace pipe...a cuppa. You'll be comfortable that your partner wont drive dangerously or wont go missing and cause huge levels of concern. This method needs a commitment from both, promises set in stone. It works for us. Lately we have found less and less need to carry this out, rather we stop the person walking out and talk quietly and calmly. We short circuit the process. A key element is respect. Both persons feel respected. Either way its a winner. Tony WK