Relationship and family issues

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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Taannyyaa_xx Head vs Heart
  • replies: 1

Hi, So i am 36 weeks pregnant and am feeling very emtoional these days, thoughts will come into my mind at random and can often make me want to break down and cry, even if i know that they are far from the truth. Lately my thoughts have been telling ... View more

Hi, So i am 36 weeks pregnant and am feeling very emtoional these days, thoughts will come into my mind at random and can often make me want to break down and cry, even if i know that they are far from the truth. Lately my thoughts have been telling me that my partner doesnt find me attractive or want me anymore because ive gotten so huge and fat lately. Since ive been pregant we barely have sex or are intimate anymore, he tells me its because he is tired from work (which i know he really is) but i cant help thinking that there is another reason behind it. Today he went out to see an old female friend that i never met, i told him that i was completley okay with it and that i trusted him (which i do with all my heart) he came home very happy and more relaxed than i have seen him in a long time and had brought me home an expensive gift as well, telling me that he loved me so much and how he had so much fun catching up with his friends. Now deep down in my heart i knew he was speaking the truth and that there is nothing going on there at all but now i lay in bed overthinking everything and from my past relationship experience, all i can keep thinking is that he has to be cheating on me or something (my ex actually would play mind games anfnemotionally manipulate me). Like the gift was because he was guilty and that he doesnt want to have sex with me because he is getting it somewhere else... idk if any of this makes sense but these random thoughts that keep popping into my head on a daily base are starting to affect me and i dont know what to do. I feel like i cant talk to my partner because he will just think im being psycho and call me crazy like my ex did. I feel like this is all driving me insane

Acceptance_is_key Unplanned pregnancy
  • replies: 9

Hi, I have recently found out I am pregnant to a guy I have known only just over a month. He wanted me to abort it and continue seeing each other to see where things went. I on the other hand wasn’t comfortable with having an abortion. He doesn’t wan... View more

Hi, I have recently found out I am pregnant to a guy I have known only just over a month. He wanted me to abort it and continue seeing each other to see where things went. I on the other hand wasn’t comfortable with having an abortion. He doesn’t want anything to do with me and the baby so we are no long going to be seeing each other or communicating. Which is really heartbreaking as we both do like each other. I am scared and wondering if it’s better to terminate the pregnancy and have a shot with him. However I worry I would resent him for doing something I wasn’t 100% sure on doing. Has anyone experienced this or know of any women who have been through this? I feel empty and broken. This isn’t how I wanted to have my first baby. I worry my baby will think it’s father didn’t want them and if I would be enough. Looking for any advice or words of wisdom. Feeling very alone in this. I am 26 turning 27 next month also.

TheLastSlice_ofBread When I’m older
  • replies: 1

When I grow up I want to be like you I want to be caring I want to wear my heart on my sleeve I want to have good bearings On how my life should be You are not perfect Nor should anyone be But your core will always have an affect on me You are strong... View more

When I grow up I want to be like you I want to be caring I want to wear my heart on my sleeve I want to have good bearings On how my life should be You are not perfect Nor should anyone be But your core will always have an affect on me You are strong and brave I’m so sad you don’t see yourself that way You are my rock And now my foundational building block You have endured so much And had some real bad luck And this has made your beautiful soul shine through In everything you do Now I’m older I understand much more about your life choices I hope to be like a solider Listening to the wise voices That can guide me to be like you I’m so sorry for what he has put you through

Somehurtguy my gf broke up with me and i am having a hard time accepting what has happened
  • replies: 6

Hey everyone first time poster, bit over a week ago my gf of 6 months broke up with me. It crushed me we seemed so happy together and everything just seemed right. she said she needed space so I gave it to her but she msged two days ago and we got ch... View more

Hey everyone first time poster, bit over a week ago my gf of 6 months broke up with me. It crushed me we seemed so happy together and everything just seemed right. she said she needed space so I gave it to her but she msged two days ago and we got chatting and she said she missed me. I would love nothing better than to be back with her, we were long distance but it was only a 3hr drive, but the distance took its toll. I move down there in a month or so and think it will be different once I move down we will be happy and things will work out. But she says she lost the spark and feelings have changed. I said that its alright relationships do hit hard times like this and we can work through this we have not seen eachother for a while i move down soon we can work. But she just doesnt accept it, saying she misses having me as a best friend not the relationship part. I love her but I cant stay friends and see her move on and date other people it would just hurt a lot more. I dont want to block her but she may block me soon as we have spoken and its just she just gave up on me. She doesnt want to try and fix it but says she misses me and msgs me. How do i deal with these emotions that what i had with her will never happen again after making it soo far and about to be so close to eachother just to lose it all. Thankyou for any help given

jtjt_4862 Relationship Ended due to partner's mental health
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, I've been following the forum for quite some time, and it has helped me through my first break up. So this is my first post to the forum, and I hope by sharing my story, it may help those who may find it relatable. Last year when a frien... View more

Hi everyone, I've been following the forum for quite some time, and it has helped me through my first break up. So this is my first post to the forum, and I hope by sharing my story, it may help those who may find it relatable. Last year when a friend of mine introduced me to a kind hearted, gentle, and loving person. We both hit it off and we found ourselves in love with each other, and it was our first time in a relationship. We were together for more than a year, and it had been a positive experience even thru out the COVID-19 lockdowns. But in late March this year, out of the blue, she decided that it's best if we both went separate ways. She explained that she's going through depression and anxiety, and cannot give me the love/time/care that I deserve. Even though I expressed that I was willing to support her through her tough times, she felt that she does not deserve my love/care/time. In the end, we agreed to go separate ways and remain as friends. But even though we had agreed to stay as friends, I tried reflecting back on the relationship, thinking what went wrong, how did it come to this, and was in disbelief that this had happened. I tried to fix our relationship, explaining what I thought might be my flaws that had caused her to feel this way to want a break up. I even thought, by trying to be a good supportive friend thru her depression, she might feel better and come back to me. But as I keep doing this, I felt it was very detrimental to both our mental state, and could feel her depression and anxiety episode getting worse. One day, I decided to ask how she was going, and she said she wasn't feeling well, and will be staying away from messaging for awhile. I gave her my last few messages of love and care, and decided to give her some space until she's ready to chat again. I told myself that I've done all I can, but I need to take care of myself too. So from now till whenever she's ready to chat again, or Oct 2nd (as we initially agreed to go watch a play together as friends), I've decided to take the time to improve myself, while remembering the fond memories that we had together as a couple. I still think about her, and wish she won't have to feel like this forever. But I'm also ready to face the possibility of us never reconnecting with each other again (even as friends). (I'll make another post on what I've learned from this break up)

Mark h HOW MUCH TIME IS ENOUGH TIME???
  • replies: 43

Good afternoon everyone. I really hope you can spread some advice for my current situation which is difficult to cope with to be honest. My wife and I are separating and she is moving out of our home at the end of April to have space to see whether s... View more

Good afternoon everyone. I really hope you can spread some advice for my current situation which is difficult to cope with to be honest. My wife and I are separating and she is moving out of our home at the end of April to have space to see whether she wants to come back and work things out between us. There is no other man involved and for me, I have no other relationship either. We have both remained faithful during our 26 years together but now, she needs time to see if US is what she wants in the future. We have both had our faults in the past for sure. For her it's certainly a trust thing and for me, it's more about how her time is spent when we were together. We are living under the same roof right now (very amicably too by the way) but she has found a place to go as I say at the end of April. The house is not available until then but all I am hearing when we talk 'US' is that she needs her 'space'. We sleep in the same bed and we work together in our business too. It's just so hard because all I want to do is to start building our marriage again. My questions are as follows: My wife says she needs time and has said that she docent know how long this will be. Could be 3 months, 6 months, 12 months or even two years. I feel completely in limbo and feel that 12 months or two years is too long? It has already been seven weeks since she told me but the 'space' she needs only comes into play as and when she moves out apparently. In the time where we are physically separated, do we see other people? Not saying that I actively want to date now...far from it but do we keep those options open??? I am keeping myself busy and have taken up golf and am singing too now. I am just really scared that things won't return and at this stage if I had to guess, it would be very much 50/50. I also suffer with anxiety / depression, so my anxiety levels are out of control right now. Any help you can provide would be great. Thanks people.

LostSoul21 Understanding Mixed Signals
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have recently reconnected with someone from past that I had a long term relationship with. It had been many years with no contact. We have been getting along really well and enjoy each other's company, however all of a sudden the messages got l... View more

Hi, I have recently reconnected with someone from past that I had a long term relationship with. It had been many years with no contact. We have been getting along really well and enjoy each other's company, however all of a sudden the messages got less and questions went unanswered and I started to feel distance forming between us. When I asked what was happening, I was told it was stress about other issues, all was still OK but needed a break to sort themselves out, but still loved me and still looking positive for the future. I now haven't heard anything for over a week. Should I consider this over? Or should I just continue to give some time and space as asked for and maybe there is still a chance to move forward with the relationship?

B21 Advice step parenting
  • replies: 3

I feel so selfish saying this so please be kind. I'm 21 years old dating a 26 year old who has 2 kids aged 2 and 3. Please don't get me wrong I love the kids so much but lately I've been feeling so left out. My boyfriend doesn't make time for me, I f... View more

I feel so selfish saying this so please be kind. I'm 21 years old dating a 26 year old who has 2 kids aged 2 and 3. Please don't get me wrong I love the kids so much but lately I've been feeling so left out. My boyfriend doesn't make time for me, I feel like he only cares about the kids and I feel like a total outsider in their lives. I look after them, cook dinner, clean, feed them, shower them etc etc but don't get to be involved in anything important. I don't get to make rules, the kids don't listen to me, I don't get told about important things happening in their lives e.g the other week one was in hospital and I wasn't even informed. It's getting me really upset that I don't feel apart of the family and my boyfriend expect me to take on the role of step mum but without the appreciation and respect I feel I deserve. I really don't know what to do anymore, Ive tried talking to him about it and he doesn't understand. I'm so down about it all We have also been talking a lot about our future and if we have kids and Ive been a bit down about that too. I'm having trouble letting go of the idea that if we have kids it's won't be special for him because he's done it before. Twice. Does anyone have any advice to stop feeling this way or what I can do. I love him and I love his kids so much I just want to feel happy together again not how I have been.

DreamyCream broke off a relationship and feeling horrible
  • replies: 6

hey there people i've been, or had been, with my boyfriend for almost a year. it was supposed to be our first anniversary in a week. but... it was an online relationship. we met up only once, a few months ago, and he was so freaking perfect and sweet... View more

hey there people i've been, or had been, with my boyfriend for almost a year. it was supposed to be our first anniversary in a week. but... it was an online relationship. we met up only once, a few months ago, and he was so freaking perfect and sweet, and I still love him, but what we had just wasn't going to work - 5 years. online. it's hard, and painful. so I broke it off when things began to go downhill. i feel like the worst person in the world, because he still loves me, and I still love him. please give me advice on how to react to all of this.. he was my first love, and now he's leaving my life, possibly even forever. i feel awful.

kowhai Husband moves out
  • replies: 5

hi there .. this is my first time writing on a forum and i'm just not sure where else to turn. short story is my husband and best friend has chronic anxiety, trauma and now depression. he has daily suicidal thoughts and talks about needing to 'create... View more

hi there .. this is my first time writing on a forum and i'm just not sure where else to turn. short story is my husband and best friend has chronic anxiety, trauma and now depression. he has daily suicidal thoughts and talks about needing to 'create space' for himself. we have 2 children (7 and 9) one of which is particularly high energy. his anxiety has kept him 'stuck' for many years and as a result our dreams and plans have been shelved/ignored and our home is a constant unfinished project. i have tried to give him space, freedom, time .. i have never complained about being the sole breadwinner in the family and have never applied any pressure to him but as a result i feel the 'stuck' situation just becomes more real. this morning he announced that he needs to leave to stay at a friend's house to give himself more space as his psychologist that he visits weekly is 'worried about him' and fears if he continues on the path he is on he will end up in hospital or dead .. i have tried to discuss medication with him for his depression but he just says he has tried everything - as a result he uses alcohol and doesn't sleep. he is concerned that he is a 'bad parent' and wants the space to 'make himself a better parent and husband'. i am not sure our marriage will survive this and i feel as though i have lost my best friend. i have to try and remain upbeat about the situation for our kids but just feel upset, hurt and deserted. i am wondering if anyone has any advice who might have a better understanding of his current mental state than me. thank you