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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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pobaw All alone all the time
  • replies: 1

I struggle with friendships and just relationships in general. I never feel that I can trust people and I am constantly paranoid and afraid that they will abandon me, so I'm terrified of making a single mistake or opening up to people. Recently, a pe... View more

I struggle with friendships and just relationships in general. I never feel that I can trust people and I am constantly paranoid and afraid that they will abandon me, so I'm terrified of making a single mistake or opening up to people. Recently, a person who hurt me incredibly deeply for a number of years has come back into my life and infiltrated almost every network of relationships that I had. The problem is that I was told by my psychologist that I need to open up to people to help set boundaries because this person never listens or acknowledges when I'm upset by their actions. But I'm horrifically non confrontational and the idea of this is nauseating to me. I feel all alone, I feel suffocated and trapped but at the same time I feel so far away from everyone I care about. I feel like I need to leave and find new friends, but it feels like I'm running away from my problems. I just wish that I could trust the people around me to put me first, to care about me, to support me and look out for me, but I can't and I don't, I don't think they would stand by me.

Feper Struggling with being a step
  • replies: 7

Hey needed to say something somewhere. I really struggle ,with being a step parent and the constant worry that I can loose all this at the drop of a hat. my back story, I was in a relationship with a sing;e Mum of 3 girls that started around 16 years... View more

Hey needed to say something somewhere. I really struggle ,with being a step parent and the constant worry that I can loose all this at the drop of a hat. my back story, I was in a relationship with a sing;e Mum of 3 girls that started around 16 years ago, we split up around 10 years ago and the youngest girl came and lived with me, she is now 21 and still living with me , but I still have these concerns that I can loose it all by her mum dying don’t see her or her partner saying “he’s not your,real dad” This pain never goes away. Am I irrational?

Pete2020 Gutted by Rejection 🥺
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m 45, been single all my life, had one attempt at a relationship 15 years ago and she simply stopped talking to me, destroyed me for a long time. Here I am now at 45, I’ve lost a lot of weight and am in shape with a great outlook and looking fo... View more

Hi, I’m 45, been single all my life, had one attempt at a relationship 15 years ago and she simply stopped talking to me, destroyed me for a long time. Here I am now at 45, I’ve lost a lot of weight and am in shape with a great outlook and looking for love. I met a nice lady and we had great chemistry and dates. Our last date, she was completely distracted as setting up a business, then pretty much no communication from there. Then I get talking to a nice girl online, going great until I missed one message from her, now I’m ghosted completely. I feel absolutely worthless, like no one will ever love me, I can’t understand because everyone tells me I’m a great guy, my employees seem to like me, and I go out of my way to be nice to everyone, follow the rules and do the right things. I’ve now come from elation to complete nothingness and nothing to look forward to except loneliness and old age alone, not worthy of love from anyone... I have no idea what to do or what’s wrong with me that does this to others. I’m not over the top with women and I treat them with respect. I have enough emotional intelligence and self-reflection to analyse myself and I’m fairly sure I’m doing everything reasonably. What should I do?

Hurt87 Addict Break up
  • replies: 3

Hello all I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years because of his drug addiction. He started smoking many years ago, and smoked every day. For the first few years of our relationship I also smoked with him. When I stopped I realised we didn't... View more

Hello all I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years because of his drug addiction. He started smoking many years ago, and smoked every day. For the first few years of our relationship I also smoked with him. When I stopped I realised we didn't really have any emotional connection. We didnt talk about much. We didnt talk about our feelings.. It seemed like our main connection was smoking together. Our sex life had never been great, we had sex maybe once a year. He told me he wasnt a sexual person.. I tried to get him to be involved in our life together. After I stopped smoking I tried to improve myself, I was exercising, meal planning, I was budgeting my money and I was getting ahead at work. He didn't want to be involved in any of these things with me. He preferred to get high We fought and bickered almost daily. I was very anxious a lot of the time. I felt a huge amount of resentment towards him as I felt like I was carrying the both of us through the relationship After another fight I started about nothing I told him something has to change and I asked him to stop smoking. He told me it was part of his personality and it was part of who he was. Why couldn't I just love him for him? Although I did love him I had to admit that I wasnt happy anymore. We didn't have an emotional connection or a physical connection. He is telling me he had no idea and he feels blindsided by this. He's asking me why I dont want to fight for him. But I'm at the point where I am done. Im feeling a huge amount of guilt as I feel I have abandoned him but also I cant be unhappy forever.. How to get through this awful guilt of breaking up with him to save myself?

Guest_0753 How Do You Get Out There?
  • replies: 23

Can someone tell me what I would be doing wrong when I can't ever get a boyfriend or go out with friends. I am a more introverted person who works and stays at home as my two social places apart from shopping. What and where do you meet these sort of... View more

Can someone tell me what I would be doing wrong when I can't ever get a boyfriend or go out with friends. I am a more introverted person who works and stays at home as my two social places apart from shopping. What and where do you meet these sort of people and why does it seem to come so easily and naturally to other people to get someone special? Is it to do with the fact I don't have those Jlo looks , not obvious enough with flirting What has worked for someone in the past?

Grant999 Commitment issues or Incompatibility
  • replies: 6

I’ve been in a relationship for over 3 years. We’re not living together, but still have enjoyed a good relationship with common interests and a strong connection (I thought). A few months ago, my partner asked for a ring to confirm our love. I approa... View more

I’ve been in a relationship for over 3 years. We’re not living together, but still have enjoyed a good relationship with common interests and a strong connection (I thought). A few months ago, my partner asked for a ring to confirm our love. I approached a designer who made a ring with stone. My partner said she wanted a plain ring, so back to the designer. I gave her new ring last weekend and thought she loved it. Today she returned the ring and said the relationship was over as she didn’t feel the relationship was right for her. I’m very confused and feel that the real issue is commitment. I asked for a month for us both to reflect, she agreed but I think this was just to get the discussion over. I feel devastated, not sure what to do. I want to give her space but am worried about losing her. she also said she wasn’t sure how she felt about me and didn’t believe in love. Not sure what to do.

marli_w In a long term relationship, speaking to my EX
  • replies: 4

I have been in a relationship for 2 years, however before I met my current partner, I was 'seeing' a man on and off for 1 year and 6 months, before I finally put myself first and decided I wasn't happy anymore. 3 months after I ended things I met my ... View more

I have been in a relationship for 2 years, however before I met my current partner, I was 'seeing' a man on and off for 1 year and 6 months, before I finally put myself first and decided I wasn't happy anymore. 3 months after I ended things I met my current partner. While my partner and I are not perfect, have had issues and almost separated many times, I have been very loyal to and content with my current partner for the past 2 years, however the last 3 months it felt like something in me changed, I wasn't happy anymore. My partner has mental illness like myself and can become very hurtful and I would argue abusive during his lows. Through my entire relationship, the guy I had been 'seeing' (sleeping with) for a year and a half kept trying to contact me, I had blocked him on facebook, instagram and snapchat by this point. It was only when I created a new snapchat account (to remove all the people I didn't want in my life) that he contacted me again only this time, it felt like I wanted to talk to him. Before I spoke to him, or added him on snapchat, I spoke to my current partner about it, he was obviously not happy but understood he might just want to talk. I added him and I was inundated with snapchats and messages from him, I didn't respond to any until later. We ended up having a dry conversation, I realised I wasn't going to get closure, so I unfriended him and told my partner I did so. That was until he repeatedly added me back, so I added him back again. This time he was different. So here we are, I'm speaking to him on snapchat, he's been saying inappropriate things and I've been ignoring them, I feel incredibly guilty for A. adding him again, B. Not telling my partner it happened again C. even feeling like I want to speak to him. Wether its for closure or not, it feels wrong. I would like some advice on how to go about this, I am speaking to a psychologist about the situation currently and while it's helping, she can't exactly tell me what to do. I need some guidance, I don't want to hurt either of them but my boyfriend comes first. I have a lot of unresolved feelings towards this guy, How do I go about this? How do I let go? Should I block him on snapchat again or tell him I just want to be friends? I feel so horrible. I feel so guilty. I suffer from anxiety depression and suicidal thoughts, this situation really hasn't helped. Any kindness and guidance would be appreciated. I know I probably don't deserve it. Thankyou.

MAX185 depression and why is it 'all about me?'
  • replies: 6

My wife and i are arguing constantly about how everything is all about the way I describe what happens to 'ME' in our daily activities. She says everything is just about me when in conversation with her. I have epilepsy and the medication takes it's ... View more

My wife and i are arguing constantly about how everything is all about the way I describe what happens to 'ME' in our daily activities. She says everything is just about me when in conversation with her. I have epilepsy and the medication takes it's toll. I have sought help from several men's health groups after a very violent outburst involving a misread situation on my part. I am trying not to let my medication be the 'reason' for this over reaction but in looking for answers to it I have discovered I may be suffering from depression and after reading several articles I have been seeing things written in those that provided realisation that I may have a problem. Two days after the outburst I contemplated suicide because I couldn't see a way back to her. My teenage daughter and two sons have also been affected by my action that night. I was arrested and cannot see them now for legal reasons. I am ashamed of my actions but her and my daughter's understanding of my condition,which has come to light after this crisis,are not being taken seriously enough in my view. I have never asked for any type of help in my life previous to this,so I feel lost and alone. She has criticised me for suggesting depression as part of the situation we find ourselves in as a family at this time.I love her and my children deeply and would do anything to regain their trust and respect.

Baby_girl_2010 I am just at the start of divorce
  • replies: 1

Hi all I am just at the start of my divorce and my ex said we would tell our daughter together sit her down and explain everything to her but he backed out and I ended up having to explain to her that her father put in for a divorce she isn't coping ... View more

Hi all I am just at the start of my divorce and my ex said we would tell our daughter together sit her down and explain everything to her but he backed out and I ended up having to explain to her that her father put in for a divorce she isn't coping well any advice would be greatly appreciated i have her in counselling but anything else I would be willing to try and help her through this hard time I try not to show my emotions in front of my friends and family and my daughter as I feel like I am weak if I do this

Wonder593 Step parenting struggles
  • replies: 4

I feel like im in a losing battle every day i wake up a headache is sure there to greet me. I feel guilty with my emotions towards my SD (9yrs old.) I'm resenting her, I dont enjoy her in my home/life, I feel she is a burden and an unwanted weight im... View more

I feel like im in a losing battle every day i wake up a headache is sure there to greet me. I feel guilty with my emotions towards my SD (9yrs old.) I'm resenting her, I dont enjoy her in my home/life, I feel she is a burden and an unwanted weight im carrying around. Iv been in a relationship with her dad now for 3 yrs and we share a son together. I have 2 other children ( 10yr F and 8 yr B) For the past 3 yrs we have had DHHS come an go in our lives due to certain things that have happened with my SD and bio-mum. Everytime i have been the one to pull her in with us to try protect her an give her a good decent life, but my SD always ends up treating me bad, fights, picks on my son (sadly he is now doing the same back), does inappropriate things, disrespectful, careless, shows no empathy and now is protecting her mother as she does no wrong in her eyes. I tell my SD she is always to love her bio-mum but to achknowlege wrong behavior an not to follow. It seems no matter what i do, it never seems to help. I have gotten her support services an physiologist, I have always shown compassion/empathy for the trouble she has gone threw. Iv created structure/stability/respect which she will always rebel against as she has always had free reins at her bio-mum. Her mentality is adults can do as they please so why can't she, or if she pushes me enough ill give up or sometimes she has even said she just likes making me mad. She cannot go back to her bio-mum, even sadder her bio- mum shows now interest in her own daughter. Her father trys to help when ever he can, he is great support an respects everything i have/do for her. My mental state is weakening and iv even contimplated breaking up with my spouse so i dont have the worry/drama or stress anymore. I love my spouse so much but sadly the only thing thats preventing me is our son as i dont want him to miss out on an amazing father. I need help with coaping threw this, I know the worst is still to come, but i don't know if I'm stronger enough to deal with much more.