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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Poobies I can't even enjoy Easter. Is that petty
  • replies: 2

Urgh. I can't even enjoy family holidays because my 16year old step daughter is so worried about not getting as much as the kids............ grow up..... she had her turn when she was a kid......... Heres her post online....... "I got one chocolate E... View more

Urgh. I can't even enjoy family holidays because my 16year old step daughter is so worried about not getting as much as the kids............ grow up..... she had her turn when she was a kid......... Heres her post online....... "I got one chocolate Easter egg and they got like 20 and I was so happy to savour this large egg and you KNOW they Did? They ATE my only f**king EGG So upset rn." She's so worried about my kids having more chocolate than her so she was leaving her bag places at nannies and poppies. So LP hooked into her chocolate...... On the way home she was so cranky she's used the argument of she shouldn't have been in my stuff.......we pointed out that LP is 2............ she is 16. I'm just so over being made feel bad for her shit in her own head.

misillusions Nothing i do pleases my parents and it’s pushing me towards suicide.
  • replies: 8

absolutely nothing i do pleases my parents and it’s very depressing and disheartening. they say they’re only hard on me because they care but it’s just too much. i’ve told them how they make me feel with unfair expectations and ect. and they told me ... View more

absolutely nothing i do pleases my parents and it’s very depressing and disheartening. they say they’re only hard on me because they care but it’s just too much. i’ve told them how they make me feel with unfair expectations and ect. and they told me they know better than me and i need to listen to them no matter what because they’ve been around longer. we are pretty much in a constant argument, and it really drains me. this has been going on for years and despite a mental ward admission they still act the same. i’m extremely close to killing myself as i cannot go on like this any longer. i’m exhausted i’m drained i’m sick of it. i’m 16 and have tried to move out but they refuse to give me my passport or birth certificate or any form of ID so i can’t really get very far. i don’t know what to do anymore i’ve tried talking to them explaining it all to them and how i’m feeling and dad often replies with the good old “toughen up, other people have it worse”. please give me advice on what to do i’ve been at my breaking point for 6 months at least.

BlondeandBlue New here and feeling unsure
  • replies: 2

I’m new here and I am not sure if this is the right forum to write this. For close to 5 years I was friends with a guy I met on a forum and we were close and used to send each other long emails regularly and we would talk about a lot of things includ... View more

I’m new here and I am not sure if this is the right forum to write this. For close to 5 years I was friends with a guy I met on a forum and we were close and used to send each other long emails regularly and we would talk about a lot of things including some private things I don’t usually discuss with many others but I trusted him ‘cause he was always so warm to me and he was there for me during some of my hardest times. In a way he was like a Brother to me online and made me feel safe when I was talking to him and I gave up posting on forums ‘cause of my bad experiences on them and only wrote to him. Last month he just left out of the blue around the time of my wedding anniversary and on the email he sent before he said he was going through a hard time in his life but I didn’t have to worry about him ‘cause he would be fine and he had sent me this funny Pikachu picture and I thought that meant he was okay but then when I replied to his last email he sent me one back the next morning saying that he was in a dark place and had to deal with some personal shit in his life and he wouldn’t be able to reply to emails for the foreseeable future but it had nothing to do with me and leaving me was the hardest thing he had to do but if he didn’t it would be unfair to me but to know he would always love me. I sent him two emails after that telling him how much I cared about him but he wouldn’t reply to me and I was really upset and worried about him and I ended up going back to the forum I was on with him and talked to the other members who welcomed me back and I found out he wasn’t the kind of person I thought he was and had been using multiple accounts on there before including two I wrote to regularly that made out they were from other countries and others that were sexist and homophobic and would attack me and looking at old emails and PMs with them I can see it now and they said some things I only told him and I didn’t really pick up on it at the time and they have been banned. I feel broken and hurt and can’t believe the person who said I was their best friend and they were lucky to have me in their life done this to me. Was I just part of some sick game or were they just using me and decided to throw me away when they were finished? The sad thing is I still miss him after talking to him for so long but it seems the person I cared about wasn’t real I feel so dumb. ‘cause I loved him and now I just feel alone on here without him.

Thelastbullet55 Understanding my feelings with my friends
  • replies: 6

Hi all, This probably sounds like nothing and just me having a really bad/toxic habit. In 2020 prior to a rough break up. I made good friends with two of my former classmates from primary. We became close very quickly and started hanging out quite a ... View more

Hi all, This probably sounds like nothing and just me having a really bad/toxic habit. In 2020 prior to a rough break up. I made good friends with two of my former classmates from primary. We became close very quickly and started hanging out quite a bit. Chatting on the phone all day and night even through the pandemic. Over time, I have felt that our friendship has not been the same. Whilst I realise that we all have busy lives to attend to, especially now both of them have gotten into a relationship for almost a year now. I am happy for them and have been nothing but supportive in their relationship. I do however, feel that now they’re too busy for me. Chats hasn’t been the same. I have brought it up many times in the past and only to be told that they were busy with work, doing their own things. Other time, understandably they’ve had their own issues to deal with. Sometime I wouldn’t know about it until it is too late and I’ve just started to get annoyed because I’m usually getting ignored when I can clearly see they’re on, talking with others. What I’m really trying to ask is, why am I feeling this way? I know people are busy, they don’t always have the time to tend to messages and that is fine but when it comes to them. I get extremely frustrated with them, to a point where I am considering cutting ties with them.

Liz13 So conflicted & confused. What’s the right thing to do??
  • replies: 2

Thank you for reading. hopefully I can get some clarity snd third party advice before choosing an Avenue to take. my partner and I have been together 10 years have an 8 year old son. We broke up for 2-3 years when my son was about 18 months as he fou... View more

Thank you for reading. hopefully I can get some clarity snd third party advice before choosing an Avenue to take. my partner and I have been together 10 years have an 8 year old son. We broke up for 2-3 years when my son was about 18 months as he found messages from me to another work male friend on my Facebook (telling each other we thought each other were good looking). He locked me amd my son out of the house. He lost his job then things just spiraled out of control from there. we got beck together 3 years ago and since have had a daughter who is now 6 months. Tonight we had a verbal disagreement- I’ve have never been so disgusted in all my life - and he hence what has prompted me to reach out. he accuses me of not listening to him, disrespecting him not doing what he says and basicallly if he feels I am out of line yells at me, calls me a grub and useless. I suffer with anxiety and this is heightened when we argue. He wanted me to go on tablets which I have done for him. we have had a stressful few months with him working away a lot, but to be honest things are easier when he is away. He smokes like a chimney, drinks to extreme where he ends up abusive which o do get quite scared, he is extremely volatile and at times I don’t know when his outbursts are getting out of control. in saying that when we aren’t like that he is caring, thoughtful and generous. We are barely affectionate to one another even though I have raised this he comes beck with how could he get close to someone who disrespects him so much? I am so worried that my 8 year old is exposed to this aggression and now our daughter will also be raised in this environment. I have tried to ask him to speak to me in a different way but to be answered with how do you expect me to do anything for you when you do nothing for me. im at a complete loss of what to do, where to go as obviously I’d be very embarrassed telling things to my friends snd family about what goes on. it’s like we argue snd things get some what bad with his outbursts then a few hours later he is speaking to me normally again and being nice. I’m so confused.

Boots77 My life is so overwhelming right now.... kids, partner, work... when did it get so hard ?
  • replies: 4

I’ve always been an annoyingly positive person... but not anymore. I love my partner so much but feel like I can never make him happy. There’s always something that I’m not doing right. I usually brush it off because he has many issues he’s dealing w... View more

I’ve always been an annoyingly positive person... but not anymore. I love my partner so much but feel like I can never make him happy. There’s always something that I’m not doing right. I usually brush it off because he has many issues he’s dealing with from his childhood and younger life so I try not to take it personally but it’s wearing me down. In my attempt to make his life smooth and easier I’m just making mine so much harder. Last year my eldest son came to live with us after being admitted for a mental health emergency and now refuses to get any help. He has no direction, lives very recklessly. He is so secretive... I never know where I stand or what to expect. My youngest son is 15 and I’m so worried he will head down the same road. The worry is exhausting. I’m barley holding it together for myself let alone for everyone else. I used to deal with with all life’s challenges with enthusiasm and a great attitude, I just don’t have it in me anymore We live in a small rural town which is primarily great but sometimes like living in a fishbowl

OhSoTired Burnt out, not coping and a miscarriage to top it all off
  • replies: 1

I really don't even know how to articulate how I am feeling. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, (second marriage for each of us after both coming out of abusive/ toxic relationships). Anyway, if you had asked me up until about 3 weeks ag... View more

I really don't even know how to articulate how I am feeling. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, (second marriage for each of us after both coming out of abusive/ toxic relationships). Anyway, if you had asked me up until about 3 weeks ago how my marriage is, I would have told you it is amazing. We make the best team, are patient and kind and appreciative of one another. I don't really know what's changed though. Without going into all the details of the back and forth between us, lately we have just been at each other. Hubby has bad anxiety. He is on a MHCP and has just started seeing someone. I recently had a miscarriage, and we have a 1 yo and a 2yo. We both work full time hours over 4 days a week, and hubby has been doing a job he detests for about 6 months. I have tried to continue to be supportive, to ensure the household is run efficiently. I take care of all the household finances (hubby can't cope due to his anxiety), I look after the kids and all their needs. (hubby is a good dad, just doesn't do as much for the kids, just the fun stuff). I help him with his work, basically do most of everything. He will help around the house and is great at maintaining the house (mows lawns, gardening etc). Just lately, I have been feeling like I can't cope anymore. Maybe it's the miscarriage, but no matter what, hubby picks a fight with me every other night. He is very critical of me, then gets angry when I cry. He tells me I'm gaslighting him because I tell him to stop picking on me and to be kind. It's really pushing me to my limits. I am so tired. not just sleepy, but weary in life, if that makes sense. I'm not depressed or suicidal, I just am weary and don't have the energy to keep going like this. Hubby is snoring beside me after another fight with no resolution or understanding, and I am left to work through my emotions, alone. You really can feel lonely, even when you're not alone :( As I suspected, I have not said anything I want to say as I just can't articulate it, and I also don't want to write a novel. Any advice on what I should do when hubby is completely unapproachable due to his anxiety, I have no family to turn to because they are party of the problem (hubby gets upset with how involved they are in our lives), and I have just made new friends and don't want to scare them away with asking for their help/ support?

Sweesoft Looking forward to springtime outdoor activities
  • replies: 2

I'm feeling some springtime blues just because I miss the old days where my family and I used to go outdoors and do biking, picnic, and whatever we can just to enjoy the sun. Now, we don't have that so much that's why it makes me depressed missing my... View more

I'm feeling some springtime blues just because I miss the old days where my family and I used to go outdoors and do biking, picnic, and whatever we can just to enjoy the sun. Now, we don't have that so much that's why it makes me depressed missing my family who I don't see quite a lot anymore. I don't think I'll ever have the same spring as we used to have. What do you miss most about springtime?

TheaRHM Shift work and relationships.
  • replies: 3

My partner and I have been together for 6 yrs. 4 out of the 5 yrs my partner has worked shift work on a rotating roster, and I have been at my same job 9-5 Monday to Friday for 5 years. A long with shift work, we both have anxiety, I have a disabilit... View more

My partner and I have been together for 6 yrs. 4 out of the 5 yrs my partner has worked shift work on a rotating roster, and I have been at my same job 9-5 Monday to Friday for 5 years. A long with shift work, we both have anxiety, I have a disability which impacts my central nervous system so walking really hurts, And I manage this by pacing my self and setting achievable goals to live as much of a normal life as I can. I also volunteer and run my own business on a casual basis, I go to councelling and am trying to loose weight to help alleviate some pain in my joints. I run the budgets, take care of 2 dogs, do a majority of the house work while working from home full time in a job that I am under paid for, and am dealing with the union do fight for better pay. He doesn't clean his room, doesn't do anything around the house on his own accord, constantly asks me to look for things even though they are always in the same spot (under the sink). He doesn't organise dates or things to do when we do have time off together, it's all on me. He doesn't sleep in the same bed as me and keeps his room so gross I don't want to go in there. Our fights are getting more frequent, always about the same issues: Me following up on him going back to councelling, setting up a bank account so he can help with finances, basic chores, sex or lack thereof, all so I can work around him within my own schedule. Then he switches it around everytime like I am asking for to much from him and I'm talking down to him ( which is true but it's been 4 years of this) he's called me abusive and said "for someone who helps young people get into a passionate career you have no empathy for others mental health" which hurt a lot. But lately he's doing less to work towards our relationship, and dropping hints that he won't be looking for new work, because he is scared about change. I've told him that I will be there to support with education and the change, I spent my bonus on getting us more financially secure so we can look into him studying. But it's too the point where I think I need to figure out how to leave, and keep the house I saved for and we own. I can't keep doing this, keeping on top of my stuff and picking up the slack in every avenue of our life together. I'm so tired, and I now can't speak about these things with out getting emotional or frustrated I don't know what to do any more.

FrogOFfeels Lost and scared for my girlfriend
  • replies: 3

We’ve been together a good 7 months now and we’ve managed to get through the phase of acknowledging our differences and stances no problems, daisies and sunshine! We still love each other to bits but it’s become increasingly hard to convince her she’... View more

We’ve been together a good 7 months now and we’ve managed to get through the phase of acknowledging our differences and stances no problems, daisies and sunshine! We still love each other to bits but it’s become increasingly hard to convince her she’s more valued than what she says, I’ve been met with responses like “I’ll be dead anyway” “I’ve already got a backup plan if you cheat” “even if I did put in the effort you do I’ll never look the same” “do you like me as I am so I don’t cheat if I ever looked good?” And I’ll explain why. She’s been wanting lipo for a long time she believes it’ll fix the abuse she had growing up regarding her body image, esteem, confidence everything. I responded badly “are you really sure you’d not wanna think twice?” and arguments insued, that like it or not she’ll go through with it even if it means getting me out of the way of her happiness. I only did what I thought was right after she told me what she has to go through daily she doesn’t have a lot of money so I make sure she doesn’t go hungry, but she hates it when I help or pay anything for her she’s more than capable by her own as she says but I really just want to be there for her especially when her ocd and adhd act out on her confidence, esteem and mental health. I don’t mind any of it at all I’ve tried saying things like she could try therapy again but in places I know that would be better suited for her, but she refuses since she’s had a streak of bad doctors and therapists before we met she will actively avoid any hospital because of bad experiences so if she hurts herself she’ll say she just won’t need it. she’s told me what causes her this pain I acknowledge and agree she should work on it in her time but she won’t actively do it and any help I offer she’ll lash out at me. Obviously lipo isn’t the end of the world and I should calm down but I really think she needs help and not a potentially hazardous procedure and then continue to go back to doing those same bad habits in routine and have it effect her mental health even more. The operation will help her undeniably but surely there are more ways other than 8k for 6 months of happiness? Please tell me if I could’ve done anything better I honestly think I was harsh or even in the wrong in many ways I’m just so worried she’ll lose herself emotionally and never be the same person I fell in love with and end up hurting herself more or me doing more worse than I did good thinking I’m helping.