Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

TaylahAnn Alcoholic families
  • replies: 1

I’ve read a post recently about a mum battling cancer but her daughter is an alcoholic. my mum was battling cancer for the past three years - I’m an alcoholic but I was at her bedside everyday. I couldn’t have done that if I was drinking - so obvious... View more

I’ve read a post recently about a mum battling cancer but her daughter is an alcoholic. my mum was battling cancer for the past three years - I’m an alcoholic but I was at her bedside everyday. I couldn’t have done that if I was drinking - so obviously I wasn’t. I can’t imagine life without her - she’s my best friend. however, a family holiday is now organised but I’m not invited - because I’m an alcoholic. It hurts so much. I’ve always been there for her but she’s worried I won’t be able to cope watching my family members drink. I know she loves me but ive never felt so alone. My children will be there as will there dad - my ex husband. any thoughts on how I could tell her how I’m feeling?

Britty2024 Lying husband
  • replies: 3

Hi I really need someone to talk too my husband and I have been together 14 years since the very beginning he has cheated on me numerous times the big one was with my childhood best friend which I no long talk to he has constantly lied to me about me... View more

Hi I really need someone to talk too my husband and I have been together 14 years since the very beginning he has cheated on me numerous times the big one was with my childhood best friend which I no long talk to he has constantly lied to me about message other girls with intentions.he use to bully about having feeling and crying when I found out about these to the point I very very rarely cry in front of anyone I don’t talk about my feeling I’m very insecure about myself and body as I’m a big girl his hasn’t bullied me about freezing since the very start of our relationship he now what to talk about feeling but I struggle to open up.he is still continuing to message other girls behind my back and lie to my face when I confront him about this last time was 3 weeks ago and again today. 3 weeks ago he promised me once again this was going to stop and the lies would stop he would be 100% honest with me and we would both start talking about our relationship and I would try opening up more we have been making trying for each other and trying no to let our busy lives come between us and today I seen more messages he had been messaging another girl I’m struggling so much with ky mental health and self worth I don’t understand why I put up with this behaviour I know I deserve better I know that I need to leave but every single time I believe him and believe things will get better I know betteri don’t understand why I can’t just walk away and do what is best for me I don’t understand why I’m not good enough please no hate I just need to talk to someone

Earth Girl What's the best way to end this "friendship"?
  • replies: 14

I met this girl in CIT a long time ago and we became friends. For about the first year, I enjoyed the friendship, but after a while, it sort of went down hill. She's actually really nice, but she gets offended extremely easily (over things that aren'... View more

I met this girl in CIT a long time ago and we became friends. For about the first year, I enjoyed the friendship, but after a while, it sort of went down hill. She's actually really nice, but she gets offended extremely easily (over things that aren't even offensive sometimes), she repeats a lot of the things she says several times and I can't be myself around her at all. I just turn into a completely different person and I just found that I didn't enjoy the friendship any more, but I continued being friends with her for 3 more years because I didn't want to hurt her. One day in the third year I realised that I really couldn't take it any more because she was talking about two of her other friends and she kept repeating everything (about how she wasn't going to talk to them any more - which she had said a lot of times before and then started hanging out with them a week later) and some of the things they did weren't even wrong. A few days afterwards, she called me and asked if she had done something wrong and I said that she hadn't and that I just couldn't be myself around her and she asked if I still wanted to be friends (I had been distancing myself for a while) and I said that she's really lovely, but I didn't think it was working out. She texted me a few days later asking if we were still friends and I tried to tell her nicely that it wasn't working out because I can't be myself and I said "sorry I don't want to hurt you." I sometimes see her at the shops and she always tells me that she misses catching up with me and asks me if I want to friends again and I have to keep explaining to her that I think she is a really nice person, but I can't be myself around her. I don't know what else to say because she thinks we should still be friends. I feel really bad because she hasn't hurt me or anything, but the friendship really wasn't working out - I found it exhausting and it felt more like people awkwardly talking to each other superficially instead of a friendship. My sister said it would be okay to tell her that I just wasn't enjoying the friendship, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I feel like no matter what, her feelings are going to get hurt though and I don't want that to happen yet again. I also don't know what to tell her when says things such as "Does your Mum know we aren't friends any more?" "I want to be friends again, but I know you don't want to catch up", "We should be friends again." "Come say hi when you see me working in my store."

_road58 A small attempt to be better
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm 28 and I love with my parents. I am from a south asian background. I wish to leave my parents home and live on my own. But i don't see that happening until i get married or if i do end up moving on my own my parents might disown me. I'm sure t... View more

Hi I'm 28 and I love with my parents. I am from a south asian background. I wish to leave my parents home and live on my own. But i don't see that happening until i get married or if i do end up moving on my own my parents might disown me. I'm sure this is a story of every kid with strict parents. I only see my gf once a week and even then I have to lie to my parents about where i am. If im home, i spend most of my days in my room. Im reaching out because i think all of it is getting to my head. The stress is spilling over at my friends and gf. I end up saying things i dont mean. I snap at people that did nothing wrong. I've never tried therapy. Talking about how i feel isnt my strenghth. Thats one of the things that upsets my gf as i dont like talking about these things. It makes her think i don't trust her. It upsets her very much. I guess im here so i can be better. For her sake atleast. Can someone help?

RainyRae I feel like I'm not being listened to
  • replies: 1

Hi. So both me and my partner are going through a tough time which is making things very difficult. I've been doing my best to help them with all of their stuff and giving them space when they need it but when it comes to me I feel like I'm not being... View more

Hi. So both me and my partner are going through a tough time which is making things very difficult. I've been doing my best to help them with all of their stuff and giving them space when they need it but when it comes to me I feel like I'm not being listened to or getting the support I need. Obviously I don't want to lean on them or anything but whenever I say I need something they decide to do whatever the opposite is. Like, they've promised to spend a day with me so we have some time together but they end up deciding to hang out with someone else. I want them to see their friends but it feels like they're putting everyone before me and it's making it kinda hard to trust them.Today kinda broke me though. They once again promised to spend the day with me but when they came home they told me they've decided to go to Bathurst to spend a week with someone else and that they had to pack everything right now and wouldn't give me 5 minutes to talk about it.While they were packing they told me they just needed a week away to think about things and to have a break of Sydney.It's been about 10hrs since they've left and I haven't heard a word from them even though I've sent them a couple of messages asking how the trip is and if they've gotten there safe. They do tend to ignore my messages even when it's important but will respond to messages sent by friends in group chats we're in. I guess I feel kinda hurt and upset by it cause again it just feels like they're putting everyone else before me even though I'm their partner.Idk how to deal with this but I know we both don't want to break up while we're in this mindset.

lucylisa LDR trouble
  • replies: 1

During this time I was constantly wishing for my own space, we both have very different needs in a relationship, I’m the kind of person that is very independent and prefers space and time to myself while she is the opposite and if we could be togethe... View more

During this time I was constantly wishing for my own space, we both have very different needs in a relationship, I’m the kind of person that is very independent and prefers space and time to myself while she is the opposite and if we could be together constantly she would absolutely prefer it. We have discussed this and she knows that we are both like this and there is an effort to make compromises (after some waterworks from her side) If I would go out I would stress that she’s unhappy because I’m all she has over here. Every time I bring up an issue with a relationship she breaks down and becomes an emotional wreck, no matter how small the issue is she thinks I am going to break up with her or hate her or leave her. It makes being truthful about my feelings incredibly difficult. A few weeks ago my dad suffered a major heart attack and was very close to death. She was living in her home country at the time. She was understanding and wanted to talk but I needed space, I cope well by myself and needed to put all my energy supporting my family and dealing with this difficult time. Even though this time was difficult I felt so much freer having this space to be able to deal with my current issues. The time we have been apart so much less stressed, having my own space and ability to deal with issues has made everything and overall life so much easier. I have felt less anxious eating, much more comfortable at work and started socialising more and felt closer to my friends and family than I had in a long time. I came to realise this and after some consideration proposed over the phone perhaps we consider extend the long distance as I feel that for myself to feel better I think that’s what I need. She took it well eventually but there was a lot of emotions. I have had consistent questions asking whether I want to break up or have grown to dislike her or don’t find her attractive. I don’t know what to do, she is head over heels in love with me and considering partner visas and moving in together and marriage and I am just dreading her moving back over. I feel so much freer. I do enjoy the time we spend together but every time I think about it we would work so much better as friends. It’s hard because she is a nice person and there are amazing parts of our relationship. But I feel that long term neither of us are compatible and before the partner visa I need to talk to her about it for our own sake. It’s so hard to voice this to her as each one of my past relationships has been either emotionally abusive or toxic and I am so scared to voice my opinion in a relationship. I know I have a lot of issues to work out because of that and other past situations but I feel for myself a relationship is not what I need for me right now. I feel that I can’t heal and be myself whether I’m with her long term or with anyone else. She’s left a lot of her things at my parents house and it’s a constant reminder that time is ticking and that I need to make a decision and talk to her about it, I feel I want to end it and have entirety of that time to focus on myself, but I feel like an absoloutle asshat and that I’ve lead her on and that I’ve ruined her life. This is a very neutral tldr I’m sorry it’s so long I just feel so lost.

JacintaMarie Is it alright to say no to someone
  • replies: 4

HiHow are you? I'm trying to do a strategy about accepting my feelings.OnThursdau & Friday, my job of doing the papers & mail bag someone told me they did it & I mentioned, that's okay, I can do it, then on the Friday, they annoyed what I said & just... View more

HiHow are you? I'm trying to do a strategy about accepting my feelings.OnThursdau & Friday, my job of doing the papers & mail bag someone told me they did it & I mentioned, that's okay, I can do it, then on the Friday, they annoyed what I said & just did the job.I feel anal about getting annoyed, after all someone did something nice. But I need to accept this negetive feeling in order to move on.I think I'm more annoyed because I wasn't listened too, rather than then the job and to be fair, that's what the person is like, they have alot of info in their head.

Luluga How do I know my marriage is over?
  • replies: 1

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and have 2 children. Pre-kids, our relationship was great. Rarely ever fought and truly loved each other. The last few years have been filled with sleep deprivation and parenting challenges and we are ... View more

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and have 2 children. Pre-kids, our relationship was great. Rarely ever fought and truly loved each other. The last few years have been filled with sleep deprivation and parenting challenges and we are at a point I’m worried my marriage is over. I was diagnosed with post natal depression and sought help to be back on track with my mental health - though my husband never really understood it and didn’t support me through the process. I am certain he is struggling with mental challenges of his own but he refuses to get help - both on his own and together as a couple. Our fighting now is constant, and I feel it is always me who is the first to let my guard down and move on. He seems to never take accountability and apologise and it’s starting to get to me. It feels like he is always trying to “one up” me in an argument. I am fighting so hard to keep our family together but not sure if I should just let go. If he can get through his own stuffles will it get better? Or are we beyond the point of repair. I feel at a loss.

Nick-Pari Am I wrong?
  • replies: 2

I absolutely love my boyfriend. He’s handsome, kind to my family and other and smart. I am currently studying and working at the same time. We have been together for 3.5 years now. He is a hard worker. I know that much. He works more than 75 hours a ... View more

I absolutely love my boyfriend. He’s handsome, kind to my family and other and smart. I am currently studying and working at the same time. We have been together for 3.5 years now. He is a hard worker. I know that much. He works more than 75 hours a fortnight. My issue is, I’ve been feeling lonely in my own relationship. I don’t have friends to hangout with. I don’t have anyone close here. Not even family. I feel so guilty when I ask him to spend sometime with me because I’m my hearts of hearts I know he would rather be working.

Abby2018 Wanting to connect with people going through mental health issues and relationship issues
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone! I'm a 40 yr old working mum with 3 kids. My partner of 20 yrs. told me 3 weeks ago he had been thinking of leaving me for about a year now. The news broke me, and I was hysterical and inconsolable. Though he suggested therapy and counsel... View more

Hi everyone! I'm a 40 yr old working mum with 3 kids. My partner of 20 yrs. told me 3 weeks ago he had been thinking of leaving me for about a year now. The news broke me, and I was hysterical and inconsolable. Though he suggested therapy and counselling, the news hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm struggling to cope. I was hoping to connect with people going through the same issues or perhaps someone who has overcome this or similar. I have severe anxiety and my mental health is declining. I have reached out to Beyond Blue and other resources and working really hard to overcome this and hoping we can fix our partnership and our family. Is there anyone out there going through something similar, maybe we can support each other and bounce of each other in this journey. Thanks