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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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trappedinqld Lost and Alone
  • replies: 3

I need some advice. I feel like I'm trapped in my relationship and I don't see a way forward. My mind is so foggy. I love my kids so much and can't bear to think what will happen if I leave and how I will be able to see them. I want to make sure that... View more

I need some advice. I feel like I'm trapped in my relationship and I don't see a way forward. My mind is so foggy. I love my kids so much and can't bear to think what will happen if I leave and how I will be able to see them. I want to make sure that I will be able to see them regularly and equally but even the thought of only seeing them sometimes hurts me so bad. But I feel stuck in a relationship that is not working and I can't communicate with my partner. She can't deal with any serious discussions and becomes histerical. It's a never-ending cycle of problems and then feeling lost and trapped which makes me just try to fix things but it's like putting on a band-aid on a broken leg. We can't seem to fix any of the underlying problems. I just don't know what to do from here. I have hardly any friends or family who I can talk to so I just feel so alone. I've told her a couple of times that we should break up and she just threatens to take the kids and to cause me problems. I don't want to make it worse for my kids or her but I just don't see a way forward. We recently moved to a rural property so feel very isolated and have no help from friends or family. I also work from home so there is no break from the every day issues that have gotten worse and worse. I'm sorry it's all very vague. I just don't feel comfortable sharing too many details although there a lot of things going on which ads to my situation.

Cjm158819 Husband ending marriage - severely depressed
  • replies: 28

I am completely at a loss. My husband who has been my best friend and soul mate for 15 years ended our marriage. He is staying with his mum, barely has any stuff and has left everything at home. He started with the I love you but not in love with you... View more

I am completely at a loss. My husband who has been my best friend and soul mate for 15 years ended our marriage. He is staying with his mum, barely has any stuff and has left everything at home. He started with the I love you but not in love with you line. In my mind that means the spark is gone as we are wrapped up in everyday life, kids etc. Life is hard we both work full time, have a demanding 3 and 6 year old. After he said this, we had an amazing week together and bonded well. Then all came to blows one night where he kept threatening suicide and left in a rage. Next day he ended it. He stopped his medication suddenly a couple months prior. He will not try and work on our marriage. Everytime I ask to not make decisions when he is severely depressed he yells and screams and tells me to stop. This has been going on 4 weeks and everyime I try to talk about everything he won't answer, says it's over and there's no trying. It's like he suddenly projected all his hurt in life onto our marriage. We were happy, lockdown took a toll on him and he was diagnosed as severely depressed. He has a lot of childhood trauma. We were always open and spoke about everything. He has changed into someone I don't know. It's like the man I married literally died in front of me. I've taken on the load of everything while he's tapped out and he couldn't care less. I snapped tonight and told him I'm completely done as he won't have a rational conversation about everything so I can move on with my life. This is emotional torture for me, so I'm cutting all contact now. One minute he didn't blame the marriage and said he's numb to everyone and everything and the next it's over its over I've told you a million times. If it was a toxic marriage, if there were major issues I would accept and move forward and wouldn't of been fighting. He has mentioned he's worse since he left our home. He's on week 4 of his medication again and his dose has been upped as he is worse. He makes me feel like I'm crazy and he keeps saying I'm pushing. He has no idea the effect of all of this on his family. I snapped tonight as I have the full time pressure of 2 demanding kids and a high pressure job.

PsychedelicFur I have big feelings for my friend and I don't know what to do
  • replies: 2

Hello. Recently, I left my partner and we were together for one year. Since leaving him, I have really felt quite lonely and yearning for some companionship. My friend, who is much older than me, is very dear and important to me. We have known each o... View more

Hello. Recently, I left my partner and we were together for one year. Since leaving him, I have really felt quite lonely and yearning for some companionship. My friend, who is much older than me, is very dear and important to me. We have known each other for more than five years, probably seven. I guess, in some way I have always felt something for him. However, I have never pursued or told him because I am afraid of rejection. He is empathic, kind, gentle, attentive, supportive and genuinely brought up properly. Plus the age gap is very large. I am of legal age but I feel like he wouldn't be interested in me, in that way. I am in my early twenties and I have told him he is important to me. The other day, there was a family emergency of mine and he came to visit me. He initiated hand holding, he held my hand to comfort me and then we cuddled on the sofa. Nothing escalated, which was really respectful of him. He has never taken advantage of me and he is different to other guys, that I have known. The only issue is he calls me his 'little sister'... I wish things were different. I really have a lot of love in my heart for him. And when he cuddled me and held my hand it brought SO MUCH comfort and happiness to me. I felt really comfortable and safe. I loved hearing his heart beat fast. I wish I could tell him that I love him but I'm really afraid of doing so. I really like him. PF.

Mortho when is it enough
  • replies: 1

I think just writing something down helps me feel better. so here goes. when is it time to say enough. some weeks he puts me through hell i spend hours talking him through his negative thoughts until he comes out the other side, i feel like i’m const... View more

I think just writing something down helps me feel better. so here goes. when is it time to say enough. some weeks he puts me through hell i spend hours talking him through his negative thoughts until he comes out the other side, i feel like i’m constantly running on empty and am always being positive and supportive of him. I do tell him some times it’s to much and i need a break and he says he knows he’s a lot and leans on me for to much all the time. But he never seems to let up i’m so mentally and emotionally drained. some days i hate him and i don’t want to feel that way about him. it’s been a very hard 12 months and i thought once he came out of hospital after 5 weeks things would he better and things have improved he is working every day and we are socializing again which is great. But then he spends all our time together over analyzing how every one else is better than him, how people at work are smarter. I just want my husband back and i’m so angry at this mental illness for taking him away from me. I know it’s a long road to get better but it’s wearing me down.

Bonbonsp Please help me
  • replies: 3

I met this girl. We went to formal together. We went on a bunch of dates. We hugged. Bought each other gifts and talked for hours everyday. We hung out all the time. I rember asking her out and I swear she said yes and we continued to do stuff togeth... View more

I met this girl. We went to formal together. We went on a bunch of dates. We hugged. Bought each other gifts and talked for hours everyday. We hung out all the time. I rember asking her out and I swear she said yes and we continued to do stuff together getting closer and closer. She even came over to give me some food she made just for me after I had a surgery. She bought me a gifts bac from Hawaii. I thought we had something going. But one day it's like 5pm she texts me asking me if she told anyone we were together. To be honest I did but I told like my close friends. Apprently she only thought of me as a friend. This happens after the summer break. We did alot in the summer. And all of a sudden it's like I don't exist. Whenever we interacted she would say things like "I need to go to the bathroom" and she would never come back. She also never texts me. She doesn't sit with me. And she it's if she is a diffrent person. I feel like she never liked me she just used me to get over her ex. She also had some mental heath issues as she had anorexia. She used to be a super popular but moved. So that's how we met and she told me she didn't like partys or being popular etc. But now she's going back to what she was before. And based upon my judgement. She wants someone else. She's going to partys making new friends. And hanging out with this other guy. She pretends to care one but it's all an act becasue the second she sees me she runs away as far as possible. I also have alot of other issues going on rn such as mu great uncle dying and my dad with heart issues. And it's hard with mu studies and everything. I've been so depressed. And I want to stop living. I can't stop thinking about her. She's in my dreams every night. Deep down i really just want her. The old her. Maybe I'm going insane or blinded. But I loved her and she never loved me.

jon74 Struggling with relationship breakdown
  • replies: 2

Hi l have recently come out of long marriage . My ex controlled nearly every aspect of my life. She continues to by refusing mediation for the property dispute. I was hospitalised twice due to suicide attempts late last year. I just can't see any way... View more

Hi l have recently come out of long marriage . My ex controlled nearly every aspect of my life. She continues to by refusing mediation for the property dispute. I was hospitalised twice due to suicide attempts late last year. I just can't see any way to move forward with my like. She has also turned our adult children against me

Romes88 I wrote myself off when pregnant, but I still can't stop
  • replies: 3

I think I have alcoholism. It definitely runs in my family. But ever since having kids I've realised I have a super unhealthy habit of drinking to numb myself. I got completely blind when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and unfortunately it didn't d... View more

I think I have alcoholism. It definitely runs in my family. But ever since having kids I've realised I have a super unhealthy habit of drinking to numb myself. I got completely blind when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and unfortunately it didn't deter me. I am my own worst enemy and I can't understand why I keep going back to alcohol. She is the light of my life, and now I can't believe I ever put her in danger, but still things get hard and I drink. I get a night alone, I drink, just to feel numb rather than feel the rage. Rage of two young kids pushing buttons. The stress of constantly cleaning up messes. The guilt of snapping at my kids. The grief of not being myself and not knowing who I am anymore. I know it will pass, but being in the thick of it sucks so so bad.

Beccahadz I think I’m in an abusive relationship
  • replies: 4

My partner came home from work angry today, and lost his shit when I had no cigarettes left (I had a 30 pack yesterday, and yes I know that is really bad). In his defence, I had taken a few off him and I need to pay it back. Then he lost his shit aga... View more

My partner came home from work angry today, and lost his shit when I had no cigarettes left (I had a 30 pack yesterday, and yes I know that is really bad). In his defence, I had taken a few off him and I need to pay it back. Then he lost his shit again but this time telling me the shows that I watch do no good for me when I’m home. I usually clean the house and do the washing on my three days off from work. He’s been yelling at me about my lack of communication, and I know I need to work on it and I have been trying. But sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells, and I can’t tell him that because I’m afraid he’ll lose it at me again. I love him so much, and if I lose him I’d be super depressed.

JustAnYtka Food Shaming
  • replies: 1

This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one o... View more

This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one of my traits is that I have a very restrictive diet and very few safe foods. So tonight I ate pretty much of all my dinner except for a piece of tomato, but I'd already had a few pieces and I was full. About an hour after eating, I went to get a bit of chocolate for dessert and couldn't find it. Now my mum has a really frustrating habit of hiding foods that she thinks I shouldn't be eating without even talking to me about her concerns, so I knew that she had hidden it. I asked her of she had and she said yes. So I asked her why and she told me that I eat too much unhealthy food and not much healthy food. This is true, but that tonight I was really proud of myself and I guess I just wanted to treat myself a bit. She said get a piece of fruit. This type of conversation is really really frustrating and makes me loose trust in her because she knows about my struggles and the actual diagnosis behind them. She always says eat what you can and when you can but then later on gets mad at me for eating unhealthy or not enough.Another thing that frustrates me is that if she didn't have an actual diet (she's recovering from a stomach bypass) she would be eating worse food than me, and she did pre surgery. She would get upset with me having a small bar of chocolate every night but then she would go eat a whole box of chocolate icecreams. Right now I'm so frustrated that I want to scream and cry and yell. Thanks for reading,Ber

Bill of Silence Half Sister Stalking me
  • replies: 6

I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workpl... View more

I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workplace and their reputation by her using their letterheads in her emails. She has abused everyone helping me and obtained over 300 emails from the Public Trustees to accuse me of breach of the stalking caution, when it is the opposite. As she is a psychologist everyone does what she wants, even the Police. I told the Police these emails are confidential and private and cannot be used as evidence. As they are to do with my father's inheritance as this half-sister is not related to him. Again, a Hostile brother sends her an email with no mention of her name but the Police Assume it was about her and use it as evidence against me. As she is a psychologist the Police Always side with her. Over her actions after 2017 she has put me in hospital and driven me to a state of Suicidal Tendencies and the Hospital psychologist can see what she is doing is illegal. That now after getting mental health support and I feel a lot better, by just ignoring her and blocking all contact with her. My Late father's friend can see that I have done nothing wrong, but she will not stop stalking me until I am deceased, so she claims my father's inheritance. I am Happy and enjoying my life and this Angers her, and I have a lot of support. Not going to waste more money on Solicitors. So, I am waiting to see how this develops. Has anyone got any advice what to do? I just cannot escape her and as she is a psychologist it makes it harder.