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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Reddog14 Boyfriend vs Fantasy
  • replies: 4

I've been with my boyfriend, T, for 12 years, however I recently met a man, D, at the annual Cup where I was waitressing (D was also working with the same company I was contracted with & was a waiter.)I spoke with D & enjoyed spending time with him, ... View more

I've been with my boyfriend, T, for 12 years, however I recently met a man, D, at the annual Cup where I was waitressing (D was also working with the same company I was contracted with & was a waiter.)I spoke with D & enjoyed spending time with him, but it wasn't until after I finished work (& the weeks that followed) that D has had a significant impact. I envision spending the rest of my life with D & not just pursuing a sexual relationship with him. I've been drawn to various men before (both sexually & emotionally) but feel this is different. As much as I enjoy fantasising about D, I fear this will impact my relationship with T, am totally at a loss as to what I should do & how to work through these emotions. I still enjoy being with T. I've been reading various articles on the internet to try & process how I'm feeling.Any advice is greatly appreciated.

waveydavey Think i blew it...
  • replies: 8

Hi all, this is my first time here, with a recent experience I wanted to share .I've been single for quite a while, and though I've dated some I haven't met anyone that's really taken my attention and I've wanted to be with. There is a girl I've seen... View more

Hi all, this is my first time here, with a recent experience I wanted to share .I've been single for quite a while, and though I've dated some I haven't met anyone that's really taken my attention and I've wanted to be with. There is a girl I've seen at times walking around town, and she has always caught my attention, she isn't like anyone else around here and i find her intriguing. For a long time I've wanted an opportunity to talk to her and ask her out, Well, that opportunity came around last week. I was shopping in a local department store and I saw her walk by. I thought I need to take this time and speak to her while I had the chance. I walked up and said hi...and asked if she would like to have a coffee with me sometime. She stopped for a moment to gather herself, then said "Sure, why not?". My heart was racing and asked if I could have her number, or could I give her mine. She offered me her phone and asked me to add my number in her contacts. I didn't want to push for hers, so I left it. We started to talk some and I was feeling overwhelmed. I could feel my anxiety rising and I found it difficult to understand what we were talking about. I don't remember much about what I was saying, or what she was telling me. I didn't know if I should leave, but didn't want to seem rude or lacking confidence. So I hung around and just felt increasingly stupid. I was saying something and she just stopped and said she was feeling hot and needed to go outside. She said a quick farewell and fled.Unsurprisingly I haven't heard from her, and I don't think I will. I hope I may see her again sometime, and apologise for making her uncomfortable. But I'm afraid my anxiety will return and I'll blow it for good. Should I try again? Or should I just move on and forget her?What can I do to avoid making the same mistakes?

day1startsnow My ex wants to get back together
  • replies: 3

Hi, I posted back in April about my ex partner leaving me somewhat suddenly. There was no contact made on my end and suddenly last week I get a message out of the blue, saying hey, how are you? I was quite taken aback as I felt completely over him, b... View more

Hi, I posted back in April about my ex partner leaving me somewhat suddenly. There was no contact made on my end and suddenly last week I get a message out of the blue, saying hey, how are you? I was quite taken aback as I felt completely over him, but now he is constantly messaging me nice things and says he wants me to move in with him, which I don't think would be the best idea as both our dogs do not get along with each other and I suspect I would be living under strict rules. I feel like my body is telling me to delete his number - we both moved on for good reason, and if my family knew they would be horrified as he reached out to a couple friends of mine after he broke up with me to try and "Get with them". Why did I bother responding to him? I am successful work wise but feel quite drawn back to him which i never thought I would do. I feel vulnerable. I have been going through a particularly difficult time with housing for the first time in my life, which really scares me, (was renting from my mum until she sold the house recently with a short settlement date) and it has been very difficult living with her again and her fiancée as I do not feel welcome. I have been applying for so many rentals and have a decent budget, and have offered landlords to pay the full 6 or 12 months upfront for security. I just want somewhere safe for me and my dog. my mums partner constantly brings up that it is a burden to have us both here which I can understand as my dog can bark at his dog while I am at work, and I do not wish to make his life more difficult. I do all the cooking and cleaning, as a way to show im contributing in addition to paying board. I just feel so confused and worried for my future.

Elizabeth Louise My husband cut ties with my Family
  • replies: 14

My husband has decided to cut ties with my family just over a year ago. What started off as a small complaint to my family about my sisters behaviour at my sons birthday party escalated into a massive fight with my sister a few weeks later. My husban... View more

My husband has decided to cut ties with my family just over a year ago. What started off as a small complaint to my family about my sisters behaviour at my sons birthday party escalated into a massive fight with my sister a few weeks later. My husband had sent a message to my mum and sister about how she upset our son with her behaviour and because my mum left the group chat he believes his concerns were ignored and he felt abandoned. My mum was dealing with the news of my dads cancer diagnosis and she felt the message was an attack. My husband was constany bringing up the issue for 3 weeks, that it wasn't resolved for instance after a nice day out at the beach and it kept stressing me out. I kept saying to let it go, but he wouldnt. I then asked my sister to respond so it could be resolved and she responded to his text, but he wasn't happy with this as she was being defensive and making excuses at the same time. Because the issue was still not resolved, I asked her to come over and apologise in person so he could move on. It ended up becoming a huge fight because he wasn't happy with the way she apologised to our son. She apologised to him in private and we had no idea. After 2 hrs she was about to leave, he questioned why she came. From the look on his face, it seemed a bit aggressive. It escalated into a fight and she told him to f$%@# off. She also admitting to recording him just before she left. This event almost broke us as he believed I chose to defend her over him. He doesn't want to see them again and says things will never be the way they were. He doesn't trust them and think my parents chose to protect her and do nothing about her behaviour or the fact that she recorded him at our house without his consent. I think the whole situation got out of hand and got bigger than what it should have been. I still see my family with the kids but without him but i think the situation Is impacting my mental health. I just want things to be normal again. I feel like there is this dark cloud hovering over me and everyone is being stubborn and no one really cares enough to help reconcile things so we can move forward. My husband won't reply to texts, he won't even open birthday gifts he received from them. I have asked him to just have a conversation. My dad wants to speak to him but he refuses to see anyone. He previously had a great relationship with my parents. What do I do? Do I keep pushing for reconciliation?

cady2015 Stay together for the kids?
  • replies: 6

Hi all. Thank you in advance for listening. Isn’t it funny how talking to strangers is easier than friends and family? I’m not really sure of the purpose but I just have a lot on my chest. My husband and I have had some problems. A few years ago, I f... View more

Hi all. Thank you in advance for listening. Isn’t it funny how talking to strangers is easier than friends and family? I’m not really sure of the purpose but I just have a lot on my chest. My husband and I have had some problems. A few years ago, I found out he’d been speaking with strangers on SnapChat and Tinder. It’s been an ongoing issue. He says it isn’t personal and it isn’t physical, therefore, it isn’t cheating. We finally came to an agreement that it was a breech of trust and therefore, there wasn’t a place for it in our marriage. Then, I found out it was happening again about 6 months ago. I’ve been absolutely shattered ever since.He was remorseful and we did have some supportive conversations to begin with. But he’s gone back to business as usual while I’m unsure how to rebuild trust. I feel like I can’t tell anyone because I want to protect him. But it’s eating me up and making day to day life difficult. I am irritable, anxious and depressed. I’ve given my everything to our small family. We have a small child. I don’t work and have no where to go. I’d need full time work and childcare to be able to leave him. I’ve brought it up lately and he doesn’t see the big deal. He thinks I need to move on. “Staying together for the kids” and a stable life: worth it? It’s the biggest cliché, I know. I feel like I would have left a long time ago if I wasn’t pregnant or in the depths of postpartum when this stuff was happening. And now we have Erin, I’m floored. I want our family. But I feel he may have broken it.

PsychedelicFur How can I help my partner with separation anxiety?
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, it's PsychedelicFur. Recently, I encountered an issue with my significant other which made me feel extremely drained and overwhelmed. I love my partner. He is kind hearted, affectionate, sweet and he treats me properly. However, he ha... View more

Hello everyone, it's PsychedelicFur. Recently, I encountered an issue with my significant other which made me feel extremely drained and overwhelmed. I love my partner. He is kind hearted, affectionate, sweet and he treats me properly. However, he has very evident separation anxiety. He doesn't like leaving me to go back to his unit. He detests the place where he is living. And he is always so reluctant and hesitate to return to his 'home'. I spend hours reassuring him that I won't leave him permanently despite the fact I have to leave his house (when I stay over) due to personal commitments. Consequently, he gets really upset when I leave him and he does not like to be away from me for long periods of time. I understand and I can empathize with his suffering and feelings of loneliness and stress. I care about him deeply but I don't quite know how to assist him with his separation anxiety. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much, PsychedelicFur.

AccidentlyUncontrolled Feeling like there's no way out
  • replies: 7

My best friend and I have been going through issues for a year to understand the issue you need to understand the complexity so there will be a fair bit of backstory. The start of 2021 we realised we wanted to be more then friends but my history made... View more

My best friend and I have been going through issues for a year to understand the issue you need to understand the complexity so there will be a fair bit of backstory. The start of 2021 we realised we wanted to be more then friends but my history made me very nervous to do so. (Most of my exes have cheated but my ex did while I lived in his house and that was a whole new betrayal of trust). I had been single two years due to this. My best friend would constantly be the person next to me telling me how amazing I was and how I deserved better. so when I eventually decided to enter a relationship it was mid feb and we started dating on valentines day. His always had strict girlfriends but I've always prided myself in the fact that I'm not the girl who has to check their partners phone or doesn't let him talk to girls cause that's just not who I am. After 2 months I went on his phone and saw he was on OF so I went open his account to look at girls and saw that he was talking to many a people on there. this immediately brought back all my insecurity around the issue. I understand that its a bit of a grey area and I get that so we talked about it and decided it was better he didn't for the time being and as my anxiety settles we could have another conversation about it. Time past and I was letting him talk to them again cause quite honestly it didn't bother me as much cause I was still getting a lot of attention. As things progressed there were consistent arguments due to them always getting more attention then me. if I wasn't next to him it wasn't worth his time. It progressed to a point where we eventually agreed its just gonna be easier without him talking to other people. He proceeded to do this so I drew a line in the sand saying we are just friends but if he was to want more in the future I would need to see self control. This has been were we have been at for the last 6 months. He is now at a point where he doesn't do the wrong thing but also to him thats enough but to me it isn't. He doesn't ask if I'm okay, he doesn't care how I feel most our conversations start with me being upset but cause he feels bad I'm always cheering him up and none of my problems are being solved. Ive told him a few times now I am literally on the edge of a mental break all the time it is driving me insane. But he also comes from a family that didnt teach him to care about anyone or how to clean or care for people. Ive done so much to help him so I can't just bail on him now.

Witchy76 New relationship or FWB
  • replies: 4

ok so I’ve started dating again. But he’s a truck driver who works 7 days a week. We catch up once or twice a week for dinner. He pays for everything he’s very gentlemanly. He pays for a hotel room for me as I have a two hour drive. He will stay till... View more

ok so I’ve started dating again. But he’s a truck driver who works 7 days a week. We catch up once or twice a week for dinner. He pays for everything he’s very gentlemanly. He pays for a hotel room for me as I have a two hour drive. He will stay till near midnight and then has to leave to get up at 4 am. We text everyday he rings me all the time. We both enjoy each others company and miss each other for the whole week.my dilemma is I want more then this but he’s happy catching up like we do. Says I’m the highlight of his week. I dunno 🤷‍ What to do or think. It would be nice to have someone to wake up to in the morning and go to bed with at night time. Lately all I seem to do is date guys like this. Happy in their own spaces , enjoy your company but then are happy for you to go home until next time. 🤷‍

Bounty-b-lakes Caught me husband on a dating site
  • replies: 3

I recently discovered my husband on a dating site by finding the app on his phone. He has told me he is in a bad place mentally and that it had nothing to do with our marriage and he regrets doing it and hurting me. The thing is, this isn’t the first... View more

I recently discovered my husband on a dating site by finding the app on his phone. He has told me he is in a bad place mentally and that it had nothing to do with our marriage and he regrets doing it and hurting me. The thing is, this isn’t the first time.. and last time he blamed his mental health also. Any trust I had has gone. We have moved to a new state recently and are not near any family and friends, We have a 5 year old son. I feel stuck. I don’t know if I want to leave him and even if I did I don’t know how I could do that being that he is our main income earner. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to only see me son 50 percent of the time but I do want to trust my husband again I just don’t know how it’s possible. My mental health is suffering. Every time I’m alone all I can think about is what he did and how he hurt me.. I’m so lost and confused and would really appreciate some advise. We are going to book into marriage counselling soon.

Blue4u Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

I am struggling at the moment as my partner had a life changing fall back in April this year. I witness the whole incident.Falling onto the road causing multiple fractures from collarbone, elbow, ribs and pelvis. Airlifted by helicopter to ICU Trauma... View more

I am struggling at the moment as my partner had a life changing fall back in April this year. I witness the whole incident.Falling onto the road causing multiple fractures from collarbone, elbow, ribs and pelvis. Airlifted by helicopter to ICU Trauma at Westmead Hospital. Finally after 3 months he came home this week. I have endured the fall, the preparation of not surviving and the lasting disabilities he now has for life.The frail man struggling to perform daily tasks and me now his primary carer.I am so emotional and doubt my ability to live life this way. I feel guilty that I feel this way. I have overcome so much in my own life thanks to him. Anxiety and Panic disorder controlled me for most of my life until I reconnected with him. He gave me self belief and confidence to overcome my fears. I still have these demons but I control them not they me. I just feel life has become so overwhelming right now and am reaching out for some support.