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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Patricia000 Tired
  • replies: 5

Hi there,I feel bad complaining because I live a pretty good comfortable life.I think I've been a bit overwhelmed the past few years and it's catching up to me.There are a few things I'm having trouble with and don't really know how to start tackling... View more

Hi there,I feel bad complaining because I live a pretty good comfortable life.I think I've been a bit overwhelmed the past few years and it's catching up to me.There are a few things I'm having trouble with and don't really know how to start tackling - I just feel too tired to even do anything about it anyway when it feels like there are easier alternatives at this point.My relationship with my mother isn't great. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if its truly my fault, but she says I'm the cause of all her mental health problems and if anything ever happens to her it'll be because of me. It becomes a bit of a vicious cycle, because her being hurtful (ridiculing things I enjoy, calling me names, yelling at me for mistakes) makes me not want to be around her. Then when I don't interact with her, she says it's my fault our relationship is bad because I won't make the effort. In some parts I believe that is true, but I know I can't be solely to blame for that either, it's just hard. I really can't bring myself to be bright and happy around her anymore. Today I got yelled at for not throwing out something in the fridge that only expired today - I'd been at work all morning... I often just go and sit in the park at night to get away from her yelling, but it's cold and I don't want to do that any more.I had a really good relationship with my best friend a few months ago and we decided to be partners. It was really nice for a few months, we got along super well, but I ended up breaking it off because I realised I was gay. I feel really bad because I should have known at my age. I think the things my mum said to me growing up kind of delayed me realising it, or I just forced myself not to acknowledge it. My best friend was so supportive and kind about it, genuinely he was lovely, but now it feels like there's a distance between us again. Which is normal. The absence is just hitting a bit hard, going from hanging out to nothing. I'm overly sensitive now too and I take every criticism from him as a sign that he hates me now. I just feel like a jerk.I'm in my exam period now for a post-grad degree and I am studying hard each day and just feeling exhausted, which is compounding things. I failed a practical skills exam and now have to resit it - if I fail again, I get kicked out of my course. I am trying to look forward to the holidays, but I feel like by the time I get there it won't have been worth it and I'll still be miserable.Thank you for your time - I'm sorry.

Guest_49809867 exhausted of trying
  • replies: 0

i thought i was doing okay, but everything is happening at once. my parents and i have a complicated relationship, but it’s improved since i’ve left. still not great, but my mum tries and she’s owned up to what she’s done, which i appreciate. my dad ... View more

i thought i was doing okay, but everything is happening at once. my parents and i have a complicated relationship, but it’s improved since i’ve left. still not great, but my mum tries and she’s owned up to what she’s done, which i appreciate. my dad has always been hot and cold, one second supportive, the next berating me for being a failure. it’s still better than before. i live with my partner now, but he’s wanting to break up with me. 100% my fault, i emotionally cheated. my mental illnesses don’t justify it at all. however, i have nowhere to go and no one besides my psych. i saw texts between my partner and friend’s bf calling me crazy, ridiculing, and mocking me during a suicidal breakdown. this has caused tension w my other friend. my partner made me cut off a friend because we used to date 3 years ago. i have no one i can trust anymore. i’m failing uni solely because of attendance (grades are distinction), which my parents don’t know. what little money i make, half goes to my parents to help their mortgage, and the rest for bills. my partner pays for a lot. if i go back to my parents, i don’t think i’ll survive. i can’t afford my psychiatrist, bills, and rent without dropping out of uni. i don’t know. i’m so tired of everything. exams are this week. i’m exhausted. i know it’s self-pitying, but i really do think i’m a horrible person that everybody hates. i feel so paranoid because i can’t trust anyone and think everyone hates me. i’m tired of being a failure and i’m scared because i have no one to turn to. my cat is the only thing keeping me here. if i go back to my parents, i can’t bring her. sorry if you read everything. my mind is a mess and i haven’t been sleeping well.

Sheridan Controlling parent
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone I’m 28 and wanting to move out and start a life with my partner of three years , currently wanting to look for a rental, while we eventually build a house.However when ever I mention or show my Dad a place he has something bad to say abou... View more

Hi everyone I’m 28 and wanting to move out and start a life with my partner of three years , currently wanting to look for a rental, while we eventually build a house.However when ever I mention or show my Dad a place he has something bad to say about it and get all fussy picking out all the bad things and not the good things, or simply doesn’t care at all and doesn’t have much to say at all. I also feel a great sense of pressure at the moment , wanting to build and settle down in a few years , but finding it very difficult to talk to my dad without him getting all fussy and opinionated, it makes me feel really stuck because it’s like I shouldn’t put in for a particular house or give things a go for myself and just give up. I’ve mentioned multiple times about wanting to move out soon, so it’s been building up for a while, with not a lot of support from him , but then out of blue will says things about * oh when you have your own kids* I feel he is trying to control my life , first it was my job, my car and now my house.I just feel like I don’t have a lot of support from him and cannot talk to him about it.I know I need to move out for my own sanity and freedom , I’ve lived at home till now and finally ready to move on with my life and actually get to experience life. Thanks for taking the time to read this

Earth Girl Feel hurt and left out
  • replies: 5

I live with my parents. My older sister has a child (toddler that we will call Bob) and a husband who live in a house fairly close to us and my younger sister lives in a different city, but in the same country. When I visit my older sister, most of t... View more

I live with my parents. My older sister has a child (toddler that we will call Bob) and a husband who live in a house fairly close to us and my younger sister lives in a different city, but in the same country. When I visit my older sister, most of the time that I am at her house, I am looking after Bob while she has a break or does some cleaning which is fair enough because I understand she needs breaks and Bob is really lovely anyway so it's nice spending time with him of course. Today, her husband invited me and my Mum over to help and hang out because Bob has a cold. I was thinking it would be great because we'll get to hang out like a family, but from the moment I got there, they expected me to do almost all the baby stuff. After being there for a minute, my older sister said to me in a kind of aggressive way "Okay, Earth Girl, you're on Bob duty" and she then went to have a friendly chat with Mum while I was watching Bob in the back door way. Bob and I later went outside the back, while my sister and Mum were still inside chatting and I was talking and playing with him and this went on for at least 40ish minutes. After they had there long chat, my Mum helped her tidy the house a bit with some vacuuming and wiping the kitchen while I was still watching Bob. I understand that by doing that, she was also helping my sister, but looking after Bob is harder and I know that if Mum got asked if she wanted to clean or look after Bob, 10/10 times she would choose clean and if I was the one cleaning and chatting with my sister, she would be a lot more annoyed than I am. Also, after they cleaned, they just started chatting again and my sister didn't say much to me at all (chatting wise). My sister would never talk to my younger sister like that (tell her that she was on Bob duty while spending time with Mum). This is no different than if I had a baby, and I told her that she was on Bill duty and then just chatted with Mum or if I told Mum that she was on Bill duty and I just chatted with my sister. I'm not annoyed with her for wanting help, I am annoyed with them for leaving me out and putting all of this part on me while they just chatted mostly and the way they talked to me. Close to the end, they both said "We should do this again" and I was thinking um, I think I'll go by myself next time. (When I go by myself, I'm mostly just with Bob too, but at least it's not just me). I want to discuss this to them, but they will get likely get angry with me and.....

Guest_51483920 I am hurting everyone close to me
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am putting this out there in hopes someone else can relate. I am turning 40 this year and have struggled with poor mental health most of my life. My father died when I was 11 and I grew up in a house with an abusive brother due to his drug prob... View more

Hi, I am putting this out there in hopes someone else can relate. I am turning 40 this year and have struggled with poor mental health most of my life. My father died when I was 11 and I grew up in a house with an abusive brother due to his drug problem, my other siblings were less then supportive as they were old to enough to move away and have their own lives. My life at home however was crap. I was intimidated and beaten periodically by brother and my mother refused to do anything so the abuse just dragged out for years and years. Jump forward 20 years to A few months after Covid, my mum passed away and I moved interstate with my partner to "escape" I started a new job and in my head have been doing everything right. Since moving though I think I have developed a serious case of "anger" and "alcoholism" and general lack of self care I have begun to out on weight and I just dont have the motivation to change. I snap when I feel like I'm not heard and anything triggers an overwhelming and uncontrollable surge of explosive emotions. Unfortunately lately it has been affecting those around me more then I knew. I expect alot from the people i love because i dont have anyone else, My friend circle is shrinking as I moved and i am so broken i cant make any new friends so I vent to my partner. She looks at me now and I can see she doesn't see the same person she feel in love with, its now a look of exhaustion and regret. It makes me sad...& angry. We fight non stop, name calling etc with no real outcome. She is as sick of me as I am of myself. My entire world is falling down around me & I don't know where to begin to fix it. I have been using alcohol as way to cope and throwing myself into my work to stay busy and I know its not good I'm aware it makes it worse. I feel like I just need the world to forgive me and let me start again with a blank slate as the person sitting here typing isn't who I am. I love my family and my partner and I want to make them happy and proud to be part of my life. I feel like no one gets it, I am looking for forgiveness but everyone wants change. I feel like my relationship is when a immovable object meets an unstoppable force. I know my partner loves me but she is so fed up she can't help me when I need her to the most. I have to change myself by myself and I dont know how. If anyone has any advice please I am desperate to take even the smallest of steps in the right direction.

Guest_87729724 Tired and drained
  • replies: 1

I have been with my partner for 20 yrs he has been doing strange things and accusing me of cheating and having people around the house eating for me ect he checked the bedrooms and checks me in the shower to c if iv got somebody in there with me it’s... View more

I have been with my partner for 20 yrs he has been doing strange things and accusing me of cheating and having people around the house eating for me ect he checked the bedrooms and checks me in the shower to c if iv got somebody in there with me it’s been so stressfulits about to send me crazy so I got him to c a dr and he has now been prescribed medication to treat schizophrenia and bipolar he has been ok last few days

Milkyshake Feeling stuck after 30 years — leaving marriage for peace
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’ve been married for over 30 years, and over that time my husband has slowly changed. The passive-aggressive behaviour started early in our marriage, little digs, guilt trips, and moments where I’d have to walk on eggshells...it just bec... View more

Hi everyone,I’ve been married for over 30 years, and over that time my husband has slowly changed. The passive-aggressive behaviour started early in our marriage, little digs, guilt trips, and moments where I’d have to walk on eggshells...it just became a habit.But as the years passed, it’s become more draining. I suffer from symptoms of stress. Now he gets upset if he doesn't get attention, stares blankly at me, and makes strange comments to our cats like “I’ll crack you” or “shut up” when they’re just being cats. There’s no real empathy left, when my father passed away, he didn’t seem to feel anything for what I was going through. He just carried on as usual, while I quietly broke inside. This is only tip of the ice berg of what I have gone through and his behaviour. Recently, he brought pool chlorine into the kitchen and tried to pry the lid open, not thinking how dangerous that was for me or the cats. It’s like common sense and care have faded, and I’m constantly on alert.I still keep the house running, handle finances, do Tai Chi, and work on my crafts to find calm, but I live with someone who’s emotionally absent and often careless. I’m now planning to leave my marriage for my own independence and peace of mind. But I’d really like to hear from others who’ve lived in a similar situation — where the connection is gone, but you’re still sharing a roof.Thanks for reading.

Guest_65775700 A great grandma at 47. Hmmm....
  • replies: 1

• The 5th generation of my family is due to arrive in a month and I'm 47 years old!!! I'll be a great grandmother and my daughter will be a grandma at age 30. This is not my ideal situation and I'm focusing on the fact we'll have 5 generations and th... View more

• The 5th generation of my family is due to arrive in a month and I'm 47 years old!!! I'll be a great grandmother and my daughter will be a grandma at age 30. This is not my ideal situation and I'm focusing on the fact we'll have 5 generations and that's a rare opportunit for our family... Great Great Grandma is 70, going on 50! 🤦🏻‍I'm having trouble getting enthusiastic about ANY of it and I feel terrible for my granddaughter. She has all of us though... Wish us luck please!

Rosh Cheating
  • replies: 1

My husband is 56 and been married for 31 years. I knew he was doing something wrong because I found condoms and Horny goat weed, 7 years ago when I asked he said he is using his hand. I did not believe. Because of my boys I was keeping quiet. If I as... View more

My husband is 56 and been married for 31 years. I knew he was doing something wrong because I found condoms and Horny goat weed, 7 years ago when I asked he said he is using his hand. I did not believe. Because of my boys I was keeping quiet. If I asked where he was and why he was late he will verbally abuse me and run out of the house and came back after few hours. I found condoms in his bag wallet. When I called he never answered the phone, always made excuses. When I asked if he is going to prostitute, he abused me. Last week my heart told me go and check a prostitution place and he was there.Now he was telling me he will not stop this, I cannot stop him.i don't know what to do

Guest_72606525 school/young life
  • replies: 2

I'm angry at the moment because of the cliche that I have been told countless times. I have a very major issue with others hating me. I recently found out my 2 best friends of 8 years have been talking bad about me. I've been struggling since Friday,... View more

I'm angry at the moment because of the cliche that I have been told countless times. I have a very major issue with others hating me. I recently found out my 2 best friends of 8 years have been talking bad about me. I've been struggling since Friday, and I feel sick when I think about it. the problem is, I don't care about these people. I don't want to be their friends either. they are toxic and not the kind of people I want in my life. so why am I so affected? I really don't know. I've reached out and have been met with "self love is the first step" and "don't care about what they think, only they can decide what they can think" which is driving me up the wall. it's reminding me of a fitness trainer telling their client that the first step is to just get fit. the thing is HOW. How do I just learn to love myself? I don't enjoy hearing "it's a journey" I just need HOW. the problem is I'm extremely socially anxious and I do TAFE with these two. the whole class does not like me because I'm shy. pulling out is not an option, so stopping being friends with them is not really an option either. it's a hands on TAFE course too so we pair up and whatnot. I have one more year of school left before I can cut them off. the person I was a little closer with talks bad about both of us. the other friend AND me. I've been surviving off of the statement my sister said. "Just live around them. You can't decide what other people think about you, and you're the one giving them a reason to hate you. So let them." I'm really trying, but I just can't let it go. stopping being friends isn't an option, pulling out of tafe isn't an option, and confronting her isn't really an option either. I feel so sick thinking about it. I care so much, and I hate it. I'm asking for advice.