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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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iamjustlostandneedhelp TW: Rape and my relationship
  • replies: 1

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worri... View more

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worries me on a day to day basis. I just recent found porn saved onto his phone and when I confronted him about it he said its because he cant get hard when he looks at me because he thinks of me being raped. He says he doesnt want to make me do anything that I dont want to do and he doesn't want to hurt me, which is wonderful and I am thankful for that but I have told him that Im ok and and he has never hurt me, if I didnt want something I would say so. He just cant seem to get over it though. I dont know how to go about this, how do I help him heal from the trauma. It sorta doesnt make sense to me, he wasnt there, I didnt even know him at the time and like theres nothing he could do. He helped me through it all so hes done literally everything in his power to make me comfortable but I just cant seem to do it with him. He says he has really been struggling mentally recently and I brought up the importance of talking about whats going on and not hiding things and he says he knows its just too hard. Does anyone have any recommendations on what to do about this situation

N888 Teenage daughter
  • replies: 8

My relationship is not good with my 20 year daughter and she is rebelling against us. I need advice please.

My relationship is not good with my 20 year daughter and she is rebelling against us. I need advice please.

Pizza-Sapion my mum is too overbearing
  • replies: 2

Hi thank you for reading this so most of my life I've been coddled because I'm the first born, I had to go through the worst of it and now I'm lashing out because of the standards my mum has set for me, she tells all these stories about her brothers ... View more

Hi thank you for reading this so most of my life I've been coddled because I'm the first born, I had to go through the worst of it and now I'm lashing out because of the standards my mum has set for me, she tells all these stories about her brothers and gives warnings on skipping school (she takes this a little too far such as if I were sick I would still need to go.) this isn't a good thing because I am not vaccinated because she read a "news" article about a boy who died from a vaccine which I doubt actually happened unless he had underlying medical history. she also puts me atop of her medical pedestal because of my immune system being at the level it is at without being vaccinated. she also refuses to get me checked up on when injured an example is currently my left leg is being a little strange like not being able to run properly like it did in year 8 because of a previous accident I will not elaborate on but despite all of that she still manages to hover while also overstepping boundaries even after I tell her to stop. another thing is that whenever I do anything wrong such as skipping school to really get in a good headspace because of her constant criticism she manages to find me and scream at some friends who found me in the horrible spiral I was going through. (I'm 15 by the way and yes I know I need to be 18 but I was desperate for advice at this point) does anyone have suggestions on what I should do about all of this?

crazymom Need help desperately
  • replies: 0

Yesterday my 11 year old ASD daughter refused to climb on the escalator in the shopping mall. Usually she has no problems in getting on. She would hold her dad’s hand and hop in..Just not sure if it’s her sensory preference or anxiety kicking in!! Ne... View more

Yesterday my 11 year old ASD daughter refused to climb on the escalator in the shopping mall. Usually she has no problems in getting on. She would hold her dad’s hand and hop in..Just not sure if it’s her sensory preference or anxiety kicking in!! Need advice desperately. Any thoughts how to deal with the situation would be helpful

Gamechanger Why Do I Attract Narcissists and Users?
  • replies: 7

OMG I am sick of people! Everyone comes to me with their problems. They are never there for me! I have just spent two hours on the phone to a supposed friend in WA... he talked about himself and his dramas the entire time! I am having issues with my ... View more

OMG I am sick of people! Everyone comes to me with their problems. They are never there for me! I have just spent two hours on the phone to a supposed friend in WA... he talked about himself and his dramas the entire time! I am having issues with my family as they too are full of themselves and could not care less about me. I am totally sick to death of everyone. I am totally over going out of my way for these idiots. Then I go to work and have to deal with more of them. Rude, ignorant loud mouths. Get back from work and son has made a mess cooking and not cleaned up. Then tells me he is going out drinking with his dipstick so called friend. Every time he does this something goes wrong. The idiot friend is totally crazy and has no idea of being responsible or accountable for his actions I told him I don't want him doing that. He reiterates "I'm 18 I can do what I like". This is the son who is the laziest person I have ever known. Now I am up all night waiting for him to come home. Everyone disrespects me and treats me like dirt and I hate them all. I am the most caring and generous person yet nobody in my life treats me the same. I want never see them again and just live a peaceful life. I feel totally trapped having my son living here. He hates his Dad and has no intention of moving out and being responsible. If it weren't for him I could have a nice apartment; no mortgage; none of this mess and drama everyday. I hate my life. It is awful. I lost two beautiful dogs last year; one in January and one in December. I spent my life savings trying to save them. Losing them killed me. Nobody gave a sh.t. Dogs are my life. People are not. I am strong and I will get over this. I DESERVE to have a happy life.

oldmate322 Feeling like my girlfriend deserves better than me
  • replies: 0

Hi there, So I’ve not posted in a while, but I’ve recently been dealing with some feelings of inadequacy in my current relationship. My new girlfriend (3+ months) is an incredibly self sufficient, self reliant, and confident person. She is a doctor, ... View more

Hi there, So I’ve not posted in a while, but I’ve recently been dealing with some feelings of inadequacy in my current relationship. My new girlfriend (3+ months) is an incredibly self sufficient, self reliant, and confident person. She is a doctor, and has a highly involved social life. She is regularly involved in multiple events and activities, and seems to have boundless amounts of capacity to do things. She cooks amazingly, writes dnd campaigns, reads, draws, knits, has an active interest in politics, and is a generally well-rounded, somewhat brilliant individual with a thriving social life and a well established self identity. By comparison, whilst I try to make friends and undertake activities, I am often hamstrung by my high levels of anxiety. I find it hard to constantly put myself out there, and struggle to maintain the level of energy/interest in a lot of activities at times. I somewhat believe she genuinely wants to be with me, but I cannot figure out as to why, and I struggle to reconcile how someone of her caliber would find me interesting long term. It’s made me incredibly self conscious last few times we have been together. I often wonder how I fit into her life (if at all) and as we have moved out of the honeymoon phase, I am increasingly insecure around her.

David35 highly critical mother
  • replies: 4

I live with my mum who's had cancer for the last 18 months on and off but is now in the clear. I've emotionally suffered with panic attacks which have increased since her treatment/diagnosis. Now that she's okay, I'm struggling to get better. I had v... View more

I live with my mum who's had cancer for the last 18 months on and off but is now in the clear. I've emotionally suffered with panic attacks which have increased since her treatment/diagnosis. Now that she's okay, I'm struggling to get better. I had virtually no support throughout this period and considering I live with her it's taken its toll on me.One minute she will be supporting me, next minute she will be criticising or abusing me. I'm just sick of it. Some days I just wake up with panic attacks, and then she will start breaking down and then saying things like "I hope you're happy now". Or she'll be undermining the therapy that I've been getting, and expects me to be fixed up within a few sessions. I know I have struggles and they rub off on her, but I am seeking help. I just get sick of the abuse, especially when she's been drinking.

Charsybee Am I Overreacting?
  • replies: 1

Good Morning. I`m a newbie as of today. I have been up for most of the evening thinking about a comment my husband made yesterday. He said in a joking manner that " I`m his misery ". Initially I felt hurt by his comment and didn`t understand how that... View more

Good Morning. I`m a newbie as of today. I have been up for most of the evening thinking about a comment my husband made yesterday. He said in a joking manner that " I`m his misery ". Initially I felt hurt by his comment and didn`t understand how that was suppose to be funny. I have been through a lot of crap over the years with him. Lets just say he has lied and cheated on me in the past. Mind you that was quite a few years ago. But since then I have had a bad back injury from work and then got stage 4 stomach cancer which I managed to fight off. As you can imagine the comment hit me hard as I`ve tried really hard to forgive him and get on with living our lives happily. Am I being to sensitive? There is so much more going on but I`m running out of words to write. I would appreciate anyone`s opinion to find if I am overreacting. Thank you!

snakes_ladders Can’t make friends
  • replies: 7

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. Ho... View more

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. However one thing has always tormented me since I was little. Despite my best efforts to always be nice and respectful, people tend to not like me. Mostly other men. Many are polite with me and receive me well, but always in a group there are a few who don’t seem like me at all.In some groups, a few doesn’t even bother to look at me and say hi. But in most groups, whilst we can engage in good conversations during say a party, nothing really develops after and effective becomes more an acquaintance rather than friends. Feeling I have is that wether I’m there or not it is indifferent. When I try to be more present and speak up to be more of a presence in parties, my voice seems to fade away as people seem to hear but not listen. This is killing me as I struggle to be part of any group. I play sports and can’t bind with the team, resulting in slowly stop to being part of the team. At work, I don’t make the strong bonds between peers. I can’t make friends with the parents of my kids friends, and miss opportunities to create a nice group of friends for them as well. Any suggestions or words would be much appreciated. Thanks and apologies the long text.

sbella02 Breakups.
  • replies: 2

Hi friends of the forums, I love supporting people on these forums, I look forward to it every week. But today it's me who needs a little support. Had a breakup a few days ago and for some reason, even though we were only together for a few months, i... View more

Hi friends of the forums, I love supporting people on these forums, I look forward to it every week. But today it's me who needs a little support. Had a breakup a few days ago and for some reason, even though we were only together for a few months, it seems to be hitting me harder than my last breakup after a two-year relationship. It's weird going from seeing each other nearly every day to just not at all. It was a mutual breakup, probably for the best, and we're still on relatively good terms, but it still hurts a lot. I've tried going out, seeing friends, listening to music, crying, but nothing's helping and my first instinct is to talk to my ex-partner, which I know is terrible and is also not really an option as we're both trying not to do that. We also work together, which hasn't been awkward so far but is still rough. I also can't really fully take the time to be sad because I have so much uni work to do and I can't be distracted, because they're all huge projects. Any advice would be much appreciated. Even if anyone's going through the same thing and wants to share their experience, I'd love to hear, anything to distract myself or feel less alone. Much love.