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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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novaLilysmum Issues with mentally challenged brother and family members
  • replies: 1

Hi. My mentally challenged(schizophrenics) brother is about to move into lower level care. I am concerned because he has hygiene and safety issues and he is basically living unsupervised. The hygiene dose not concern me but the safety issue dose. Thi... View more

Hi. My mentally challenged(schizophrenics) brother is about to move into lower level care. I am concerned because he has hygiene and safety issues and he is basically living unsupervised. The hygiene dose not concern me but the safety issue dose. This is a 49 year old man who thinks it’s perfectly fine and SAFE the smoke in bed ……… and then he falls asleep with still light smoke in his hand. One of his previous accomodations threw him out because the fire brigade was called at midnight to put out the fire in his room. My oldest brother(53) said he is just “playing” that he knows better and is just doing it cause he knows I will run to his aid. My mother (72) is saying the same thing. Are they correct? Am I just being over protective? Should I step back and “make him grow up”? Sometimes he dose stupid things -that he knows he shouldn’t (his words).. and yet he dose them anyway- why? is it because he knows I will run to his aid? When he gets in trouble for his stupid action he says it’s not him- the schizophrenic made him do it….. yet mum has schizophrenia and she would never do something so stupid. I have recently come off anxiety medication due to heart issues and I really don’t want to go back onto them because my brother is just being stupid…….once he moves into the new accommodation I worry my will my anxiety increase?

N888 Teenage daughter
  • replies: 3

What do you do if you find alcohol in your daughters room? Can anyone give me some advice please?She has such an unhealthy lifestyle. Doesnt exercise, drinks sugar drinks, eats unhealthy food. (never at home). Please help......

What do you do if you find alcohol in your daughters room? Can anyone give me some advice please?She has such an unhealthy lifestyle. Doesnt exercise, drinks sugar drinks, eats unhealthy food. (never at home). Please help......

Supportrequired Miscarriage and Ex doesn't believe me
  • replies: 0

Hi All, thank you for the support.I'm needing to get this off my chest.Was dating a man for 3 months. It ended last Friday after it got physical. Things had been a bit rocky as he an alcoholic and when I drink too, he can say some very insensitive th... View more

Hi All, thank you for the support.I'm needing to get this off my chest.Was dating a man for 3 months. It ended last Friday after it got physical. Things had been a bit rocky as he an alcoholic and when I drink too, he can say some very insensitive things that results in arguments between us. But I still love him and he says he still loves me and if I disappear he'll stop loving me. I wanted to work on the relationship issues, because when he is sober he is a beautiful individual. Well it's gotten worse, I didn't know I was pregnant. Turns out I wasn't covered for over a month following a UTI. I was 2 months pregnant and I miscarriaged. I told him and he doesn't believe me. Said I lied to him as I was still on the pill but can random bouts of breakthrough bleeding. I suffer from endometorisis and I highly doubted I'd ever fall pregnant.So I'm mourning the loss of a love and struggling to come with the terms that I had a miscarriage. He won't answer my calls. I live in a small town and I went out with friends to try to get my mind off it. He turned up and flat out ignored me. It upset me so much. I confronted him and he said I lied in front of a lot of people. I threw a plastic cup at him and he said it's all documented now. I've blocked him on social media as I can't handle anymore heartache. I just wish we could have a peaceful conversation about this so I have some form of support. I have no family here to lean on.

iamjustlostandneedhelp TW: Rape and my relationship
  • replies: 4

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worri... View more

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worries me on a day to day basis. I just recent found porn saved onto his phone and when I confronted him about it he said its because he cant get hard when he looks at me because he thinks of me being raped. He says he doesnt want to make me do anything that I dont want to do and he doesn't want to hurt me, which is wonderful and I am thankful for that but I have told him that Im ok and and he has never hurt me, if I didnt want something I would say so. He just cant seem to get over it though. I dont know how to go about this, how do I help him heal from the trauma. It sorta doesnt make sense to me, he wasnt there, I didnt even know him at the time and like theres nothing he could do. He helped me through it all so hes done literally everything in his power to make me comfortable but I just cant seem to do it with him. He says he has really been struggling mentally recently and I brought up the importance of talking about whats going on and not hiding things and he says he knows its just too hard. Does anyone have any recommendations on what to do about this situation

Charliegrace92 Recently found out partner of 12 years cheated on me
  • replies: 1

I found out from the girl he cheated on me with. Apparently it was on and off for 2 years. He broke up with me but we got back together almost straight away and he kept seeing her. Found out they last slept together as recently as Christmas last year... View more

I found out from the girl he cheated on me with. Apparently it was on and off for 2 years. He broke up with me but we got back together almost straight away and he kept seeing her. Found out they last slept together as recently as Christmas last year and was pnly told this April. Its been almost 2 months since finding out. I still love him but this is the most hurt I've ever been in and I'm struggling to cope. I'm struggling to get past the idea I had of our relationship and the idea i had of him. It seems like I never thought anything like this could ever happen and this all happened at a time I felt most comfortable in our relationship. I have crippling anxiety and I just feel depressed. I thought I was doing alright at one point but i can feel it getting worse. Just after any advice from someone who's experienced anything similar, how they coped after being cheated on with a long time partner they trusted completely.

Guest_1584 living alone
  • replies: 741

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ? No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all. l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs... View more

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ? No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all. l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone. It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons. But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes. This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself. But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

snakes_ladders Can’t make friends
  • replies: 8

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. Ho... View more

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. However one thing has always tormented me since I was little. Despite my best efforts to always be nice and respectful, people tend to not like me. Mostly other men. Many are polite with me and receive me well, but always in a group there are a few who don’t seem like me at all.In some groups, a few doesn’t even bother to look at me and say hi. But in most groups, whilst we can engage in good conversations during say a party, nothing really develops after and effective becomes more an acquaintance rather than friends. Feeling I have is that wether I’m there or not it is indifferent. When I try to be more present and speak up to be more of a presence in parties, my voice seems to fade away as people seem to hear but not listen. This is killing me as I struggle to be part of any group. I play sports and can’t bind with the team, resulting in slowly stop to being part of the team. At work, I don’t make the strong bonds between peers. I can’t make friends with the parents of my kids friends, and miss opportunities to create a nice group of friends for them as well. Any suggestions or words would be much appreciated. Thanks and apologies the long text.

PsychedelicFur Body Dysmorphia & Boyfriend
  • replies: 1

TW : Body DysmorphiaHello everyone,I struggle with body dysmorphia due to being psychologically abused by my Mother and my very first serious boyfriend about my weight and looks.I don’t really know what my body looks like.I am told by my doctor that ... View more

TW : Body DysmorphiaHello everyone,I struggle with body dysmorphia due to being psychologically abused by my Mother and my very first serious boyfriend about my weight and looks.I don’t really know what my body looks like.I am told by my doctor that I am at a healthy weight. And my other friends always reassure me and tell me that I’m at a healthy. However, a few weeks ago my boyfriend told me I was chubby around the stomach area, as I stood naked in the mirror. And it really hurt me. He knows about my body dysmorphia and I have told him about the abuse I have suffered in the past, from close people in my life. And I am actively trying to love my body. It has hurt me. And it’s constantly playing in my mind.He apologized and I believe he genuinely felt bad about it. Although, it has stuck with me. And it’s affecting me everyday now. I stand in the mirror critiquing my body, especially my stomach area.I don’t know what to do.

Elizabeth Louise Feeling so lonely
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone, Been separated from my husband of 16 Yeats for 6 months now. He left me, we both share the children 50/50.I miss him, we talk regularly, interactions are more positive now, I realy want to save my marriage but I'm afraid that he is too s... View more

Hi Everyone, Been separated from my husband of 16 Yeats for 6 months now. He left me, we both share the children 50/50.I miss him, we talk regularly, interactions are more positive now, I realy want to save my marriage but I'm afraid that he is too scared to try again. His main reason for separating was high conflict. I think it was just stress and he burnt out with so many changes in life that we were dealing with. I really believe things would be different if we try again. I feel so alone in the world, my friends & family are all so busy and I feel like I don't fit in with my family anymore. I keep trying to make plans with people on the weekends when I don't have the kids but i keep getting rejected I try to keep busy with work, and I try to do activities that I enjoy but I still feel so alone. I enjoy talking to him on the phone and having that connection/companionship. I don't have that with anyone else. He has a close friend that he speaks with daily. I don't really have anyone like that other than him. It's not the same with my family. I miss my husband so much. Therapists have told me that I need to move on and let him go. I still have hope that things might change over the next 5-6momths. We co parent without any issues and are working like a team when it comes to the children. I still can't believe he left. I still wake up in shock some days. He's not seeing anyone else and the thought of him seeing someone if we were to Divorce eventually make me terribly sad. I never felt lonely ever in my life until now. I used to want to run away from connecting with people because I was always so stressed. Now I crave for connection. I would really love to hear some good stories where people have reconciled after separation.

N888 Teenage daughter
  • replies: 13

Does anyone feel like their 20 year old daughter hates them? Or like walking on egg shells around her. What every i say, she twists it around to make out that ive said something wrong and turns into an arguement. Does anyone have any advice please...... View more

Does anyone feel like their 20 year old daughter hates them? Or like walking on egg shells around her. What every i say, she twists it around to make out that ive said something wrong and turns into an arguement. Does anyone have any advice please....