Relationship and family issues

My mother was a unloved child and now takes it out on her kids which she’s told us all she resentsus

replies: 0

My mum never took the time to understand me, … writting this now I’m envisioning her leaning over me now breathing heavily whilst hurting me, acting sinister and attacking me. I left when I was younger. 16 my mum still had not STOPPED Sabotaging my h... View more

My mum never took the time to understand me, … writting this now I’m envisioning her leaning over me now breathing heavily whilst hurting me, acting sinister and attacking me. I left when I was younger. 16 my mum still had not STOPPED Sabotaging my happiness. I can tell you that even people on community based places especially close colleagues friends can see that I’ve changed from speaking to her. She tries to change the way I see and feel in myself. She hates me. She’s told me this. I am second to youngest of 4 sisters. I have two half sisters. My mum never remarried after my dad. She sinks down and lives in the past. But she never acts that certain way around new people. Anyway - Enough about Her. the way it’s impacted me and the way I feel is putting me last. And making me feel different. Like I am a different person to who I really am. My dad ( who is irresponsible) has told me to disconnect urgently stay away from contact and block her if I have to call the police so do it. she knows she’s hurt me. Attempted to get attention and flirt with my Domestic violence older guy I was seeing. My relationship. She has tried to manipulate and managed to sleep with every boyfriend I’ve had that’s managed to see her and unluckily grab her contact details. A lot of people tell me it’s my upbringing. BUT I can’t let my past dictate my happiness in the future. I’ve moved out lived in a lot of rentals worked studied all pushed myself todo this on my own. But when she threw me out into the street at 16, I went to live with new boyfriend. I’ve had to Explain and contact the police because she won’t let me live a happy free existence. She thought she could come at me with weapons (I won’t tell you what in particular) and try and kill me. She took us away from my loving father on A interstate train when I was a Kid. 2025. I’m trying to heal. Like I’ve said to many people. I havnt been in a relationship since I was 26. And with the amount of trauma I’ve been through from my mum, I just want some space. I havnt seen my friends as I crossed them out when I got my own first rental out of home. despite being in a domestic violence relationship too, I havnt had time to heal. And with everything going on my mum tried to play the manipulation game on top of everything else I was going through and rang the police to attend because she attacked me harshly. And lied to the police with claims about me doing it to her. She knew she has hurt me. And she manipulated the system so much she tried to fight for an intervention order on me. She did the same thing with my older sister when she was 16.

Controlling parent

replies: 1

Hi everyone I’m 28 and wanting to move out and start a life with my partner of three years , currently wanting to look for a rental, while we eventually build a house.However when ever I mention or show my Dad a place he has something bad to say abou... View more

Hi everyone I’m 28 and wanting to move out and start a life with my partner of three years , currently wanting to look for a rental, while we eventually build a house.However when ever I mention or show my Dad a place he has something bad to say about it and get all fussy picking out all the bad things and not the good things, or simply doesn’t care at all and doesn’t have much to say at all. I also feel a great sense of pressure at the moment , wanting to build and settle down in a few years , but finding it very difficult to talk to my dad without him getting all fussy and opinionated, it makes me feel really stuck because it’s like I shouldn’t put in for a particular house or give things a go for myself and just give up. I’ve mentioned multiple times about wanting to move out soon, so it’s been building up for a while, with not a lot of support from him , but then out of blue will says things about * oh when you have your own kids* I feel he is trying to control my life , first it was my job, my car and now my house.I just feel like I don’t have a lot of support from him and cannot talk to him about it.I know I need to move out for my own sanity and freedom , I’ve lived at home till now and finally ready to move on with my life and actually get to experience life. Thanks for taking the time to read this

exhausted of trying

replies: 1

i thought i was doing okay, but everything is happening at once. my parents and i have a complicated relationship, but it’s improved since i’ve left. still not great, but my mum tries and she’s owned up to what she’s done, which i appreciate. my dad ... View more

i thought i was doing okay, but everything is happening at once. my parents and i have a complicated relationship, but it’s improved since i’ve left. still not great, but my mum tries and she’s owned up to what she’s done, which i appreciate. my dad has always been hot and cold, one second supportive, the next berating me for being a failure. it’s still better than before. i live with my partner now, but he’s wanting to break up with me. 100% my fault, i emotionally cheated. my mental illnesses don’t justify it at all. however, i have nowhere to go and no one besides my psych. i saw texts between my partner and friend’s bf calling me crazy, ridiculing, and mocking me during a suicidal breakdown. this has caused tension w my other friend. my partner made me cut off a friend because we used to date 3 years ago. i have no one i can trust anymore. i’m failing uni solely because of attendance (grades are distinction), which my parents don’t know. what little money i make, half goes to my parents to help their mortgage, and the rest for bills. my partner pays for a lot. if i go back to my parents, i don’t think i’ll survive. i can’t afford my psychiatrist, bills, and rent without dropping out of uni. i don’t know. i’m so tired of everything. exams are this week. i’m exhausted. i know it’s self-pitying, but i really do think i’m a horrible person that everybody hates. i feel so paranoid because i can’t trust anyone and think everyone hates me. i’m tired of being a failure and i’m scared because i have no one to turn to. my cat is the only thing keeping me here. if i go back to my parents, i can’t bring her. sorry if you read everything. my mind is a mess and i haven’t been sleeping well.

Tired

replies: 5

Hi there,I feel bad complaining because I live a pretty good comfortable life.I think I've been a bit overwhelmed the past few years and it's catching up to me.There are a few things I'm having trouble with and don't really know how to start tackling... View more

Hi there,I feel bad complaining because I live a pretty good comfortable life.I think I've been a bit overwhelmed the past few years and it's catching up to me.There are a few things I'm having trouble with and don't really know how to start tackling - I just feel too tired to even do anything about it anyway when it feels like there are easier alternatives at this point.My relationship with my mother isn't great. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if its truly my fault, but she says I'm the cause of all her mental health problems and if anything ever happens to her it'll be because of me. It becomes a bit of a vicious cycle, because her being hurtful (ridiculing things I enjoy, calling me names, yelling at me for mistakes) makes me not want to be around her. Then when I don't interact with her, she says it's my fault our relationship is bad because I won't make the effort. In some parts I believe that is true, but I know I can't be solely to blame for that either, it's just hard. I really can't bring myself to be bright and happy around her anymore. Today I got yelled at for not throwing out something in the fridge that only expired today - I'd been at work all morning... I often just go and sit in the park at night to get away from her yelling, but it's cold and I don't want to do that any more.I had a really good relationship with my best friend a few months ago and we decided to be partners. It was really nice for a few months, we got along super well, but I ended up breaking it off because I realised I was gay. I feel really bad because I should have known at my age. I think the things my mum said to me growing up kind of delayed me realising it, or I just forced myself not to acknowledge it. My best friend was so supportive and kind about it, genuinely he was lovely, but now it feels like there's a distance between us again. Which is normal. The absence is just hitting a bit hard, going from hanging out to nothing. I'm overly sensitive now too and I take every criticism from him as a sign that he hates me now. I just feel like a jerk.I'm in my exam period now for a post-grad degree and I am studying hard each day and just feeling exhausted, which is compounding things. I failed a practical skills exam and now have to resit it - if I fail again, I get kicked out of my course. I am trying to look forward to the holidays, but I feel like by the time I get there it won't have been worth it and I'll still be miserable.Thank you for your time - I'm sorry.

Feel hurt and left out

replies: 5

I live with my parents. My older sister has a child (toddler that we will call Bob) and a husband who live in a house fairly close to us and my younger sister lives in a different city, but in the same country. When I visit my older sister, most of t... View more

I live with my parents. My older sister has a child (toddler that we will call Bob) and a husband who live in a house fairly close to us and my younger sister lives in a different city, but in the same country. When I visit my older sister, most of the time that I am at her house, I am looking after Bob while she has a break or does some cleaning which is fair enough because I understand she needs breaks and Bob is really lovely anyway so it's nice spending time with him of course. Today, her husband invited me and my Mum over to help and hang out because Bob has a cold. I was thinking it would be great because we'll get to hang out like a family, but from the moment I got there, they expected me to do almost all the baby stuff. After being there for a minute, my older sister said to me in a kind of aggressive way "Okay, Earth Girl, you're on Bob duty" and she then went to have a friendly chat with Mum while I was watching Bob in the back door way. Bob and I later went outside the back, while my sister and Mum were still inside chatting and I was talking and playing with him and this went on for at least 40ish minutes. After they had there long chat, my Mum helped her tidy the house a bit with some vacuuming and wiping the kitchen while I was still watching Bob. I understand that by doing that, she was also helping my sister, but looking after Bob is harder and I know that if Mum got asked if she wanted to clean or look after Bob, 10/10 times she would choose clean and if I was the one cleaning and chatting with my sister, she would be a lot more annoyed than I am. Also, after they cleaned, they just started chatting again and my sister didn't say much to me at all (chatting wise). My sister would never talk to my younger sister like that (tell her that she was on Bob duty while spending time with Mum). This is no different than if I had a baby, and I told her that she was on Bill duty and then just chatted with Mum or if I told Mum that she was on Bill duty and I just chatted with my sister. I'm not annoyed with her for wanting help, I am annoyed with them for leaving me out and putting all of this part on me while they just chatted mostly and the way they talked to me. Close to the end, they both said "We should do this again" and I was thinking um, I think I'll go by myself next time. (When I go by myself, I'm mostly just with Bob too, but at least it's not just me). I want to discuss this to them, but they will get likely get angry with me and.....

I am hurting everyone close to me

replies: 2

Hi, I am putting this out there in hopes someone else can relate. I am turning 40 this year and have struggled with poor mental health most of my life. My father died when I was 11 and I grew up in a house with an abusive brother due to his drug prob... View more

Hi, I am putting this out there in hopes someone else can relate. I am turning 40 this year and have struggled with poor mental health most of my life. My father died when I was 11 and I grew up in a house with an abusive brother due to his drug problem, my other siblings were less then supportive as they were old to enough to move away and have their own lives. My life at home however was crap. I was intimidated and beaten periodically by brother and my mother refused to do anything so the abuse just dragged out for years and years. Jump forward 20 years to A few months after Covid, my mum passed away and I moved interstate with my partner to "escape" I started a new job and in my head have been doing everything right. Since moving though I think I have developed a serious case of "anger" and "alcoholism" and general lack of self care I have begun to out on weight and I just dont have the motivation to change. I snap when I feel like I'm not heard and anything triggers an overwhelming and uncontrollable surge of explosive emotions. Unfortunately lately it has been affecting those around me more then I knew. I expect alot from the people i love because i dont have anyone else, My friend circle is shrinking as I moved and i am so broken i cant make any new friends so I vent to my partner. She looks at me now and I can see she doesn't see the same person she feel in love with, its now a look of exhaustion and regret. It makes me sad...& angry. We fight non stop, name calling etc with no real outcome. She is as sick of me as I am of myself. My entire world is falling down around me & I don't know where to begin to fix it. I have been using alcohol as way to cope and throwing myself into my work to stay busy and I know its not good I'm aware it makes it worse. I feel like I just need the world to forgive me and let me start again with a blank slate as the person sitting here typing isn't who I am. I love my family and my partner and I want to make them happy and proud to be part of my life. I feel like no one gets it, I am looking for forgiveness but everyone wants change. I feel like my relationship is when a immovable object meets an unstoppable force. I know my partner loves me but she is so fed up she can't help me when I need her to the most. I have to change myself by myself and I dont know how. If anyone has any advice please I am desperate to take even the smallest of steps in the right direction.

Tired and drained

replies: 1

I have been with my partner for 20 yrs he has been doing strange things and accusing me of cheating and having people around the house eating for me ect he checked the bedrooms and checks me in the shower to c if iv got somebody in there with me it’s... View more

I have been with my partner for 20 yrs he has been doing strange things and accusing me of cheating and having people around the house eating for me ect he checked the bedrooms and checks me in the shower to c if iv got somebody in there with me it’s been so stressfulits about to send me crazy so I got him to c a dr and he has now been prescribed medication to treat schizophrenia and bipolar he has been ok last few days

Feeling stuck after 30 years — leaving marriage for peace

replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’ve been married for over 30 years, and over that time my husband has slowly changed. The passive-aggressive behaviour started early in our marriage, little digs, guilt trips, and moments where I’d have to walk on eggshells...it just bec... View more

Hi everyone,I’ve been married for over 30 years, and over that time my husband has slowly changed. The passive-aggressive behaviour started early in our marriage, little digs, guilt trips, and moments where I’d have to walk on eggshells...it just became a habit.But as the years passed, it’s become more draining. I suffer from symptoms of stress. Now he gets upset if he doesn't get attention, stares blankly at me, and makes strange comments to our cats like “I’ll crack you” or “shut up” when they’re just being cats. There’s no real empathy left, when my father passed away, he didn’t seem to feel anything for what I was going through. He just carried on as usual, while I quietly broke inside. This is only tip of the ice berg of what I have gone through and his behaviour. Recently, he brought pool chlorine into the kitchen and tried to pry the lid open, not thinking how dangerous that was for me or the cats. It’s like common sense and care have faded, and I’m constantly on alert.I still keep the house running, handle finances, do Tai Chi, and work on my crafts to find calm, but I live with someone who’s emotionally absent and often careless. I’m now planning to leave my marriage for my own independence and peace of mind. But I’d really like to hear from others who’ve lived in a similar situation — where the connection is gone, but you’re still sharing a roof.Thanks for reading.

A great grandma at 47. Hmmm....

replies: 1

• The 5th generation of my family is due to arrive in a month and I'm 47 years old!!! I'll be a great grandmother and my daughter will be a grandma at age 30. This is not my ideal situation and I'm focusing on the fact we'll have 5 generations and th... View more

• The 5th generation of my family is due to arrive in a month and I'm 47 years old!!! I'll be a great grandmother and my daughter will be a grandma at age 30. This is not my ideal situation and I'm focusing on the fact we'll have 5 generations and that's a rare opportunit for our family... Great Great Grandma is 70, going on 50! 🤦🏻‍I'm having trouble getting enthusiastic about ANY of it and I feel terrible for my granddaughter. She has all of us though... Wish us luck please!

Cheating

replies: 1

My husband is 56 and been married for 31 years. I knew he was doing something wrong because I found condoms and Horny goat weed, 7 years ago when I asked he said he is using his hand. I did not believe. Because of my boys I was keeping quiet. If I as... View more

My husband is 56 and been married for 31 years. I knew he was doing something wrong because I found condoms and Horny goat weed, 7 years ago when I asked he said he is using his hand. I did not believe. Because of my boys I was keeping quiet. If I asked where he was and why he was late he will verbally abuse me and run out of the house and came back after few hours. I found condoms in his bag wallet. When I called he never answered the phone, always made excuses. When I asked if he is going to prostitute, he abused me. Last week my heart told me go and check a prostitution place and he was there.Now he was telling me he will not stop this, I cannot stop him.i don't know what to do

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Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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