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All my life I felt that I just didn't fit in. I seem to say the wrong things all the time. So I find it difficult to make friends. In fact I don't have any. I find people say that I look lost or tired all the time. I am not very self aware of that so I try and sound cheerful (yes a bungon) but that doesn't last as it gets pretty tiring. I try and be helpful to get someone to like me or acknowledge me but I feel all I do is get in the way. Making small talk to fit in is difficult for me as I never find anything to say.
I read alot and being grateful for all the things I can think on has really helped me so I value in life and nature etc. And remembering that God has given me an opportunity for life. I feel that when I am really low though I insult people who are terminally ill by not making the most of mine. I am sorry for that.
Work can be so difficult at times. I know most people do not like me at work as I have lashed out at them and complaining about what they have done wrong. And my colleagues appear to leave me out of conversations or they go out and not include me I suppose for good reason as I am the angry one at times. I found a good quote apparently by Winston Churchill... "Don't stop at every barking dog otherwise you will never reach your destination." And I can see that I do look at all the things that go wrong in life and be angry about it.
If I am not at work I am in my room watching movies or reading. On a sunny day I see people going on boats together, doing outdoor activities, going to concerts etc. I can even imagine what it would be like to have the zeal to live life that way. I try to imagine that but I never can. I have been this way since I can remember. Is this just me?
Hi Sunburst , how u holding up.
l'm not sure sorry , how old are you if you don't mind em asking ? If still young you could work on all that and slowly start doing things or finding interests. Any age really.
l'm on my only a lot and been living alone last few yrs. l'm finding out it's all too easy lately to just do my thing any way l want and just exist , l worry myself actually because l notice l'm even enjoying it lately and because l work at home too , it would go on for wks a time if l didn;t do something about it so l do try to push myself to do things or get out , even though really, l don't have much interest in doing much at all right now.
The work thing for you yeah , anything like that will really start taking it's toll in the end and you'll notice people not even bothering after awhile. If you'd rather be mixing your gonna have to curb that stuff and it'll take a bit of work to bring people back but you'd get there.
Sorry no one's chimed in yet , seems pretty quite but they should in time.
Hi sunburst, welcome
A lot of our destiny is in our own hands. Soft sports like volleyball badminton table tennis as randomx said to get out more.
What about visiting other churches of the same denomination? Meet others, and computer dating will help you narrow suitable personalities down.
Some people just dont fit in with groups. The important thing us not to label yourself as odd or abnormal. ..you are just not their type.