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It has taken 4 years and medication to get to this point and what I feel is ashamed. I always knew that I was delicate in the mind, so the events that lead to my withdrawl from being a good mum, a good wife and a good person  I guess we're always going to happen. For me finding truth about my parents was just the final straw!   Outwardly people would have described me as confident maybe even brash, but always there for my friends and family. So when I needed help, no one was there, no one saw the changes, no one cared. I was a rock bottom and did things to alienate myself, I changed my whole life, I did not want to be liked or alive.   Know I feel ashamed as I have ruined what I once had. I don't want my marriage back nor do I want my old friends but I do want my children to feel,proud of me again.  And I need help to do this, please can anyone help me to regain my self worth ?
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we all do things in our life we aren't proud of, along the way we might loose things we really value! But it is never too late to be the person you want to be! 

For me actions speak louder than words, show your children the sort of person you are inside. Own your mistakes and admit to them. 

Are your children older, do they live with you? 

Do you or have you seen someone who can help, a psycologist? 

Never give up, it's never too late. It seems like you've had a rough time!