Hi, a warm welcome
I'm a HSP, "highly sensitive person" you can google it. Up to 20% of people come under that. Sensitivity isnt an easy thing to live with for us and our partners/family/friends. I dont know if you are a HSP but you are YOU and if that involves taking short comments to heart then it is part of your DNA so to speak. Such feelings need the tolerance and acceptance of our partners and our ongoing self reflection to develop less sensitive. Eg if your partner had a history of be bullied when young you would expect him to be reactive when bullied the rest of his life so you'd likely make room for that. Making allowance for flaws.
There is a flip side however. You mentioned he said it in a "joking manner". But was it a joke? If it was meant purely as a joke then his intent was not to harm. To me there is lack of clarity, that can easily be remedied but questioning him immediately after the comment rather than dwelling for long periods of time. The comment could subtlety be countered like "Have we been both a misery to each other"? or "you dont really mean that do you"? Such questions can resolve it and save you from hurt. It all sounds hypocritical what I'm saying and it depends on the individuals.
In summary- no you are not overreacting as your feelings are you. Seek clarity by asking questions immediately after the comment in a tone that gives him the benefit of the doubt. If his joke wasnt really a joke keep calm and ask him if he'd join you for a cuppa and ask him why he really thinks you're his "misery", listen intently with his answer. If you feel you have not deserved such a comment then by all means point out the sacrifices you BOTH have made to the marriage but beware of mentioning old issues that cut too deep- talk broadly. Advise him that you get hurt with such comments.
I hope that helps. Reply anytime
TonyWK
