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Always feeling flat, unfulfilled, worried and unhappy

Community Member


I feel I have so many issues going on in my head relating to my relationship with my husband, my work, my kids, my friendships that I don't know where to start.

I feel down all the time even though I have a devoted husband, 2 beautiful kids, a good job, a nice home and a family that loves me.

My social anxiety I feel is becoming worse. During my early 20s I drank a lot and loved the party scene. My dad died when I was 21 and I don't think I ever coped from this moving forward. I was always a shy kid so drinking and taking recreation drugs gave me that edge to socialise and have fun. Now that I'm in my mid 30s and able to socialise more, I feel like I don't know how to.

With my marriage, I feel so bored and unfulfilled emotionally. My husband avoids serious conversations, it's always small talk and I feel like we have never connected on a deep level. We've been together for over 10 years but I find myself daydreaming about leaving him all the time. I just don't want to screw up what could be a happy childhood for my kids over issues that my husband could potentially resolve.

My moods are so up and down, I'm not sure if I need to be on medication or whether it's my unhappy relationship that is causing me to feel depressed. Please help 😔

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Stephi, it hard to take that next step and see if you can try and communicate with your husband, could you try and see if he will communicate with you in regards to these issues?

If you feel overwhelmed you want to try going to your doctor and getting a mental health plan and chat with a psychologist or a medical professional, it helps if you have a regular doctor that knows you and maybe help to you in some way

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Stephni,

Warm welcome to the forums. Sorry to hear about how you're feeling, and I hope you may accept my deepest condolences regarding the tragedy when you were 21....

When you mention "I'm in my mid 30s and able to socialise more, I feel like I don't know how to", would you be able to elaborate more on this? Is it the social anxiety that's preventing you from knowing how to communicate with others? Or you're feeling comfortable communicating with others, except you're not getting the right kind of connection that you're looking for? Just looking to better understand what you mean and how do you feel.

When your partner avoids serious conversations, and only makes small talk, it would make you feel that your emotions and concerns are not important, which may lead you to feel emotionally disconnected with your partner. Have you tried voicing your concerns about how you've been feeling lately (bored and unfulfilled emotionally) to your partner? A good place to start would be to have a chat with your partner. You could also seek out a relationship counsellor (either with your partner, or just by yourself) to see if something can be done about this situation.

Happy to listen to you more Stephni.