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I just needed to get this off my chest, I have no-one to talk to. I have just split up with my partner of 2 years. She needed space to find herself. Sounds so cliche doesn't it !! 15 years ago I broke-up with someone after 20 years. She was a narcissistic unfaithful liar. I was co-dependent and compromised myself. I had an emotional breakdown and spent 12 years alone rebuilding my life. Then 2 years ago, I met someone special and it felt amazing to share love that felt uncompromised. She was so different to the previous experience, loving, kind and grateful, then it went downhill and she withdrew closed up. I'm just sad, sad it didn't work out, sad she wasn't willing to accept my past and create a future. Sad she didn't feel I was worth it I guess. I never wanted to feel this again although the circumstances are very different the heart aches the same. I am having feelings of unworthiness and not being enough for someone to stay and share life's ups and downs. I know that's not healthy but it's how I feel.
Hi Rainforrest. I'm sorry you find yourself alone again after a two-year relationship. Life seems so unfair when this happens. You look at other couples who seem so happy and you ask yourself, 'what did I do wrong'. The answer, nothing. The relationship ended because your gf was unable to commit. I would say your gf may have had problems she didn't share with you regarding her problems committing fully. Your previous gf wouldn't have helped you with her being narc, that would've been hard to live with. I don't think this gf couldn't accept your past, (that should never have entered the equation), I think she may have decided she wasn't able to give you what she felt you deserved. Please don't ever think you're not 'worth it'. We're all worth it, all we ever ask in life is someone to share the good and bad times with. I know at the moment your heart is broken and you feel at your lowest, but please believe me, when you do meet that special someone who is out there, you'll know she's the 'right' one for you. You just haven't met the right one yet. Maybe your two previous relationships were meant to show you what you're looking for in a partner. You now know what not to look for, use this experience next time you meet someone, see if they have that special 'something' you're looking for.
My counsellor always told me -
"Fake it till you make it".
So well done. I wish you well, Lyn.