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20 weeks pregnant and farther just walked out

L2
Community Member

Hi my name is laurie and im 20 weeks pregnant and for the last month my beautiful partner and farther of my child had become depressed and ive been supporting him getting help ect. Then over the weekend end he walked out and ended up in hospital wanting to admit him self into the mental health ward. So i was there at hospital with his family and mine who love and support him. He stayed for observation which is normal and now he doesnt want to live together and he needs to sort his head out with health professionals. I know he needs this and if it'll bring my baby back cause this was very sudden... I just dont know how to feel or think knowing he needs me to bacj off for a bit... But i have his baby growing inside me and im struggling to understand and know what to do for my babies future. The questions in my head are: do i just wait and hope for the best when he message or calls me to say ok im better? Do i look for something else? Are we still together? Does my baby have a dad? Or am i a single mum now. I need help in trying to talk to my partner and try and not go see him and just breakdown in tears and say goodbye? I know this is selfish but im growing this human petrified and struggling as i am working to provide for me and bbubs

2 Replies 2

PamelaR
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Laurie

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums. Wow, your life at the moment is obviously causing angst for you - understandably so. My heart goes out to you.

It's good you've found your way to the community of caring, supportive, friendly and non judgemental people.

You've asked a lot of questions Laurie. I'm not a health professional, all I can give is my experience in mental health.

Do i just wait and hope for the best when he message or calls me to say ok im better? Mental health issues like anxiety, depression, bipolar are ongoing. We can and do manage our symptoms and we recovery. Though we do have to manage our mental health. I think you'll find it will always be there and you need to be aware that it will. This does not mean, you can't live with someone who has a mental health issue. Have a look through these forums. There are loads of positive stories you'll find about how we all live.

Do i look for something else? Are we still together? Does my baby have a dad? Or am i a single mum now? These are very good questions that I think you'll need to take time to think about. The life ahead of you will change, as it will do for the father of your child. From what you've written, it sounds like you are very anxious about what's happened. What do you think? Have you seen your doctor recently to discuss your current circumstances?

I need help in trying to talk to my partner and try and not go see him and just breakdown in tears and say goodbye? Who do you have to talk to? For example a close family member or trusted friend? It's important to talk and there are a lot of support services out there who can do that, e.g.

  • Lifeline 13 11 14
  • Beyond Blue Support Services 1300 224 636

Keep reaching out here too, when you want to Laurie. No pressure for you at all. You're not alone though.

Kind regards

PamelaR

Tess2
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Laurie

i think you are jumping too far ahead. This has all just happened. It doesnt sound as though he has left you, just that he needs to attend to his mental health. This is a good thing. It must be terrifying for you, just be there for him and let him know you support him. You need to look after yourself too. It sounds like your family are very supportive you may need to talk to your dr too. Look after yourself during your pregnancy. But do not give up or project too soon

tess