PTSD after hospitalization when younger

[feelingblue111]

I was 16 when I was put in a mental hospital for 3 days

I'm now 29 and it has left me really traumatized still

The amount of dodgy nurses and doctors being dishonest left me feeling hopeless

I don't know how to move on

I was feeling suicidal after experiencing sexual abuse

In the hospital I was under supervision for 24 hours

So having someone watch me go to the toilet and shower made me feel even worse

I asked the nurse if I could say something to let them know I'm okay so I could go to the toilet or shower properly and they agreed but they were peeking through the gap in the door as I wasn't allowed to close the door

The way I overcame being suicidal was knowing that their is a place worse than death

They didn't provide counseling inside

Your basically left in a bed all day with nothing to do

You would go more insane

One of the nurses said to me give me your phone

I said what why

He said just give me it

I said you can't take my phone

I asked him whats your name I want to complain about you

He said whatever

I told another nurse about him and he was the one peeking through the hole while I was going to the bathroom

I just wish they were honest instead of lying

They might as well had someone watch me instead of being sneaky

I was more angry that I kept getting this nurse after telling other nurses about this dodgy nurse

I keep getting flashbacks and reliving this period of my life in my head wishing I did something different

I was harmed by other patients and left with dodgy nurses

I was 16 and in a mental hospital with other adults

[Sophie_M]

Welcome feelingblue111,

We are so sorry to hear about what you have been through. We understand that it must have been distressing to be subjected to further trauma when you had already been through so much. We are so glad that you had the courage to reach out here. Please know that you don't have to sit with these feelings alone. Our community is here for you to offer conversation, support, and advice.

We can hear that this has been a long journey for you. Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport
One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way.

We would also recommend that you contact 1800RESPECT. They offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to support to women who have been through some of the trauma that you have experienced. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or https://www.1800respect.org.au/

We hope that you can find some comfort in the forums and that you can find the courage to reach out to a health professional again. Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey.
 

[feelingblue111]

I'm not currently receiving mental health support because I don't have a GP that I feel comfortable with.

It is also hard to travel for me and during these Covid times it's hard to leave the house.

[Sophie_M]

Hi feelingblue111,
  We empathise with how difficult it is in this pandemic period. If you feel it might be useful, we'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. This includes a 24/7 Support Service who can assist you navigate the difficulties of accessing mental health support in pandemic times.
We understand it can be a really frustrating and exhausting experience trying to find a GP or a mental health practitioner that you feel comfortable with. Previous experiences of seeking help that did not go well may have discouraged you from doing so again. We always urge people like yourself not to be put off by one or even a couple of negative or unhelpful experiences, as what works is different for everyone and things can always improve with the right treatment and support. If you can, we'd suggest reaching out to one of the supports we mentioned who can hopefully get you on the road to recovery.

Please feel free to reach out here whenever you feel up to it.

[monkey_magic]

Hi feelingblue111,

Well done reaching out.

After reading your post I thought gosh you were lucky.

I'm also traumatized by my mental health hospital stays and harmed by other patients but they kept me in for 3 months....two times!

I'm definitely not minimising how traumatic even 3 days can be.

They take everyone's phones in there. I remember having to hand my pH in after coming back in from leave everyday. I did sneak it into my room for a lot of my stay though.

I also felt that the psychiatrists and nurses were dodgy. I was just thinking last night how I distrust a lot of them. There are good ones amoung the bad it's just a matter of finding them.

I hope you will be ok and have some coping strategies under your sleeve. If u wanted to talk some more I'm here to listen.

[feelingblue111]

I felt you would go more insane in their as there was nothing to do

You would lie down all day in your bed

How is that better for your health

There was no fresh air

Everything you say is not listened to because you are 'mentally ill'

They should have a counsellor on 24/7 to help

[monkey_magic]

Hi feelingblue111,

I've heard people using the term " a broken system" when they refer to mental health. There is so much that goes on " on the inside" that I don't agree to.

They make you believe you are mentally ill and they didn't listen to me either.

They have nurses there 24/7 and some are better than others but they all give out medications like they are lollies and you can't refuse. I believe it's your right to have medication or not but they take that right away from you.

I suppose some ppl need the rest- to lie in bed all day but it's not for everyone.

I felt "controlled" by the system not taken care of.

[feelingblue111]

A book to read or a tv
Something...
People in hospital need something to do.
Lying in bed all day for 3 days made me worse
And to have a disgusting nurse watch me go to the toilet all the time when he said he wouldn't
He was peeking through the hole
I prefer honesty then lying

I feel they leave you in there linger when you are rude or want to argue
If that's the case why don't they put every rude person in a mental hospital

I was a sexual abuse victim and to have someone watch me go to the toilet made me worse

[monkey_magic]

Omigosh feeling blue111,

I really feel for you that would have been uncomfortable. Sorry you had to experience that.

In the hospital I was in there were arts and crafts and an escorted walk. There were some books as well.

Every hospital has it's differences but being enclosed in a small space wasn't good for me at all.

[feelingblue111]

I have been left traumatised from my experience

At least I get the DSP now and it was a good point to have to get the DSP but no money can make me happy
I rather be happy and have to work for money