FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Possible PTSD? Nightmare help

Ferrero80
Community Member

Hi everyone, I am new on here. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a recent traumatic event and I am seeking some coping strategies. On Christmas Eve my stepmother committed suicide at our family home and she was found Christmas morning (I am an adult and do not live at the home but grew up here and was present on Christmas morning). My father, brother and I have been spending time together and I have found this to be helpful. The death was very sudden and unexpected and I would not have expected her to take this action.

It has now been almost two months since her death and I am finding it incredibly difficult to sleep. I would say I think about the event and have visual images of it at least every hour of the day. At night I find it difficult to stop thinking about it while I am trying to sleep, even when I try and imagine other things. I usually have a normal wake/sleep routine but am struggling to fall asleep. Often I am close to sleep but then get a shock of anxiety, sort of like a feeling like I am falling and my stomach drops. This happens over and over and often it takes me several hours before I sleep. I try to get up and sit in a dark room for a while so I am not just lying in bed restless. When I do sleep, I have vivid nightmares of people breaking into my apartment and committing suicide in front of me and I cannot stop them and I wake sweating and panicked. I am feeling a lot of anxiety during the day.

When I was younger I suffered from depression and engaged in some self-harm behaviors. I do not drink alcohol regularly or take any drugs.

My regular doctor is on holidays at the moment and I intend on making an appointment when he returns.

 

Has anyone got any any advice on how to assist with the sleeping, as well as reducing the nightmares and anxiety?

 

Thank you in advance for your support.

2 Replies 2

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Ferrero80~

I'd like to welcome you to the Forum and say how sorry I am about your Stepmother. While I'm glad you may have not actually been present when she was discovered the effect on you had been pretty profound.

It comes out in ways you might not expect, nightmares being one, thoughts that won't go away being another. It can go a lot further than that too.

As someone who has experience of PTSD - I'd strongly suggest you need competent medical help from someone who is experienced with trauma right now. I'd not wait for your doctor's return.

Anxiety, thoughts that take over, nightmares and more are all symptoms and it is the underlying cause that needs to be addressed. I made the mistake for keeping on going by my self just getting the symptoms - like sleeplessness - treated and it made my condition very much harder to help- so please do not fall into the trap I did.

I'm not just basing this on my experience, you have said that in the past you had depression and used self-harm to cope. It would be a real pity if your current experiences pushed you back towards how you were.

The fact you can talk and share with your father and brother, being able to talk frankly and say how you feel can help as you have found, for them as much as you I'd suspect. May I suggest that they too need medical care now too? It is a sad fact that those who are near someone that has taken their life are at risk themselves.

A good starting place is the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are there for those who have lost someone to suicide. You can talk to them more than once, they are professional and can give advice and be a comfort.

This is not a substitute for a GP, and then face to face counseling however.

Life does get a lot better, provided you take the sensible steps there is no reason why you should not respond to treatment and go on to live your life, regarding this as a sad but manageable memory.

Please feel you can talk here as much as you would like.

Croix

straight away that oyu should not wait for your regular doctor but seek medical hep straigh away.

I fell into9 hte trap of not dong tihns and it made tihngs much aharder

PamelaR
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Ferrero and warm welcome to our community

It's so good you've found your way here. Life is very difficult for you and I understand why. I'm sorry to hear about your step mother.

Having your brother and father for company is a great start. Though, you have had an extreme shock and it is very important, like Croix said, to do something about it now rather than wait for your doctor to return from holidays.

Sometimes we underestimate the impact of such things - our bodies are incredible mechanisms that learn to respond to things to help us survive. My thoughts are your body is telling you -i.e. nightmares, sleeplessness are saying you need help. And that's okay. There is no shame in reaching out - like you've done here. Try to see another doctor and/or contact a helpline, as Croix suggested above. Other organisations include:

  • Beyond Blue Support Services 1300 224 636 or their chat line https://online.beyondblue.org.au/
  • Lifeline 13 11 14 or their chat line www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/Crisis-Chat

Let us know how you get on Ferrero. You're not alone.

Kind regards

PamelaR