missing mum during this holiday season

[Haylzz]

Hi, my brother, dad and i witnessed my mum have a brain aneurysm a month ago which was absolutely terrifying to see my mum in such a state of health as before she was a healthy woman. This trauma extended to seeing her with tubes and machines in the icu for a week. She is now progressing very well with her rehab but it is just completely changed my families life as we are trying to adapt as it would take her a long time to hopefully get back to normal again. But it's just sometimes i try to do the little things like cooking dinner that just make me miss her even more because thats the stuff she usually does and was going to teach me now that i have finished school. things like cooking dinner also sometimes bring me back to the moment where my brother and i found her in her condition 4 weeks ago because we found her in the family room across the kitchen. Ive tried strategies to help me cope like even looking for psychologists but there a 4-6 months waiting list due to covid (which is understandable) so if anyone has any other strategies or ideas that can help me adapt to such trauma or talk about it then it would be very helpful

[Truc]

Hi Haylzz

I know how it felt when you miss someone, especially when I and my girlfriend had been far away by some reasons, she was very close most of the time, but I found out to me missing someone is not a bad thing, it just means that someone may be special to us, and when we miss that person, we may miss the daily activities which they have done but us did not pay attebtion to, now with their absence, we may treasure more what they mean to us, in my situation, I would like to love my parents or my girlfriend more, because when I do small things which I think normally she or my parents do, after I see them back again, I will love them and treasure them more than the last time, Do you think so ?, and sometimes I dont wanna do anything to cope with it, i want to feel it, to feel the missing feeling and treasure people whom I love the most rather than trying to depress it, I also say to my mind thank you to the people whom I missed. I think when we miss something or someone, we will value their presence more if we have a chance to see them again. I hope it is helpful.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Haylzz,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. That sounds like it's been really really hard. It's awful how life can change so quickly and the mum that you knew is not the mum that you know now.

What sort of support do you have around you? Do you have people who you can talk about this with?

I think the best strategy that I can really think of is to feel it- and by that I mean to acknowledge all of the pain that you're feeling, but even if there's anger or sadness, or grief too - because your mum's still alive but you've definitely grieving a big part of her. I imagine that a psychologist would do this too; because there might be people who don't understand or maybe they think you should be grateful she's alive but it's really okay if you're not feeling that at all.

Hope this helps

rt

[Guest_4643]

Hi Haylzz, welcome. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. I know how you feel because my Mum has health issues so I've seen her like that a lot too, and that nearly happened to my Mum a few weeks ago also, about the same time that happened to your Mum. I hope she's doing ok now, and you and the rest of your family.

In terms of Psychologist, have you looked at Telehealth options if the waiting list is too long?