Is it assault?

[Scarlett06]

Hi everyone.

I am going to be speaking about SA so please if you are sensitive to this topic please don’t read ahead.

My boyfriend, who knows I’ve been sexually assaulted, tells me he cares for me and would never hurt me. Yet during sex today he kept trying something when I had said NO multiple times, I had to actually yell at him to get him to stop.

I’m so upset because I’ve poured my heart and soul out to him and he knows how much I’ve been hurt in the past by SA. I trusted him.
Am I overreacting ?
thank you

[Sophie_M]

Hi Scarlett06,

Thank you for your bravery in reaching out about this. This is a really safe space, and this community is here for you. 

What you're describing sounds incredibly difficult and would be considered sexual abuse, so we're reaching out to you privately to check-in. If you want to reach our counsellors directly, please call us on 1300 22 4636. We'd really strongly recommend reaching out to 1800Respect on 1800 737 731 or to Blue Knot on 1300 657 380. The following are aso available as webchat:

• Beyond Blue (11am-12am AEDT)
• 1800 Respect

If you ever feel unsafe, it's important to call 000.

We're here for you, and the lovely counsellors at each of these options are too, they're amazing to talk to, so we really hope you can reach them today. You're not overreacting, you did the right thing reaching out.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[Isabella_]

Hi Scarlett,

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through such a traumatic thing. To have someone you love and trust push your boundaries like that while knowing what you've been through is awful.

Please be assured that you are not overreacting at all. He breached your boundaries and purposefully ignored you and your comfort, all the while knowing what you've been through.

In a healthy sexual relationship, you never have to yell at someone to respect you and not push for something you clearly don't want.

How did he respond after you yelled at him? Did you guys have a conversation and confront him about it?