FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

I'm a newbie here.

MissMonty
Community Member
Hi everyone. I'm new to the site and am hoping I will find some support here. Recently my husband and I were made aware that our 12 year old daughter had been sexually assaulted by her older cousin. The abuse has been happening for two years, slowly getting more invasive and dominant. We have all been in intense therapy since which has been good however I am struggling so much. It's my husband's side of the family and it has caused an enormous fracture. Of course, we have been pushed out for speaking up. I feel as though I'm having a breakdown. I'm already medicated for anxiety. I just don't kniw how to handle my feelings.
4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Sorry to hear this.

You must feel enormous pressure. That family fracture is unfortunate but unavoidable so time to close ranks and focus on your immediate family under your roof.

I'd personally stay away from hubbys family for some time but allow him free rein to visit them. See what transpires.

Visit your GP regularly and keep well connected with your partner. Both of you would feel you failed as parents so you need each other.

TonyWK

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi MissMonty, can I offer you a warm welcome to the forums.

What you have told is very disturbing to hear and it must be enormous pressure on all of you, so I want to suggest a couple of ideas for your consideration to think over.

When I started counselling I had sessions with my wife and then with my 2 sons, but it partially restricted what was said, my sons didn't want to upset me and I for them, so perhaps the therapy could be done separately, however as your daughter is 12 years old she may want you to be there for support.

That's why she can speak to someone at Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800, there will be an appropriate aged person to speak with her, one on one, although you can be there, to begin with, and gain some confidence.

Is it possible for you to have counselling by yourself because there will be so much you want to talk about, there you can show your emotions, cry when you need to and voice your opinion, I hope this can be done.

This is a thread we have to treat with total care and my absolute apologises for you all, and really hope we can hear back from you.

Geoff.

MissMonty
Community Member

Dear Geoff,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I am so grateful.

I'm having counselling on my own as well as with my husband and daughter. My daughter is also having therapy on her own with a wonderful psychologist.

The thing I am finding the hardest is having to keep the events to myself (as in, within the immediate family). I just want to be able to tell others why I seem so checked out and shut down. My feelings are wanting to come out but I have to keep them in on a daily basis. I just feel so worn down and worn out. I know this group will help me though.

Miss Monty

Dear Tony,

Thank you so much for your words of support and good advice. You are right...we need to close ranks around our family. I need to shut out the pressure from my husband's other family members to keep things harmonious. I'm usually quite resilient in times of crisis however I just feel so vulnerable and scrambled at the moment. Reading words on this forum is a comfort to me so thank you for taking the time to read my post and respond.

MissMonty