How can you get out of a Domestic abuse situation?

[wakewoke]

Hello, Im new to to this forum and I wish to ask for advice.

Im 21 year old male who still lives with his parents due to mental issues, but I hate it here now, my parents insult me, we get into fights everyday over my issues, I act like a jerk and say terrible things, they do as well.

But how do I get out? i dont have a car, i have a few grand from a pension but i want to to do things with my life and rent is expensive and i have no life skills and ive never had a job and i dont know what to do.

[white knight]

Hi WW, welcome

I'm sorry for your situation, no wonder you are seeking ideas on how to cope.

At the ending of my marriage in 1996, I purchased the cheapest caravan money could but at the time, it was 3.5 metres long. I towed it to a caravan park and stayed there for a while.

Do you have a drivers licence?

If so, perhaps look around for a campervan, obviously an older model, a Toyota Hi-ace, Mitsubishi express and so on. Sadly I don't think you'll be able to purchase a decent one with roadworthy for under $7000. If you could then you would need an address for Centrelink to continue to contact you. Ask your parent if they can still use their address for such mail and drop in once a week or two. Keep up that contact even though you argue, it will become less over time. Purchase Wikicamps app for $8. That will give you all the camping locations Australia wide as well as dump points for your portable porta potti, fresh water and if its free or a cost involved. The more remote you stay at the better it gets.

Get involved with the Salvation Army. You can do some voluntary work in the beginning. If in the country there is always work picking fruit or carting hay. Such pickers go north for one season then south for another season and often fruit orchards have cabins for pickers with facilities. Around December picking is around the northern Victoria and southern NSW area.

If you don't own a car or licence you could train it to those areas or contact Centrelink and tell them you'd like to try it. One guy I knew had a backpack and two man tent and that is how he travelled from orchard to orchard until he could afford his campervan. He also picked apples in Tasmania so gained a lot of adventure.

Finally, seek out ways to contain your anger. Learn ways of not reacting when your parents get angry. There are anger management courses available.

Good luck

TonyWK

[wakewoke]

I dont feel comftable in a camper van honestly, I do have a license cause i only passed a few months back.

Im just tired, like people say 'save for a car' and than 'save for a apartment' and you cant reall do both on a pension.

I dont have much family i would want to live with, i dont want to be with relatives honestly, i dont consider them relatives at this point.

But I feel fenced in, there isnt enough support, pay for a psychiatrist, pay for a car, pay for rent, pay for pills, pay for food.

Its honestly just feeding into my hatred of the world a lot of the time, I just want to live alone and be left alone.

[CKS]

Hi wakewoke

White Knight's advice is great.

I have CPTSD, may i ask what you have been diagnosed with and how often you see your psychiatrist and others? And do you have to pay to visit them? What in general do your parents and you argue about?

We look forward to hearing from you again.

Warm regards

CKS

[monkey_magic]

Hi wakewoke,

Check out flatmates.com or gumtree and look for rooms to rent in a sharehouse with one or two other ppl.

It's cheaper than renting on your own and you might even get along with the people and if u want ur own space you can stay in your room.Have a look around and find something that suits. It might be tight living but you can do it on a pension. You'll feel more independent as well.

If you need free food you can go to churches or charities.

We all have to start somewhere.

MM

[wakewoke]

I've considered it, ive even seem some places that are entirely alone and cheap, but ive never really had the confidence to leave cause of my stupid parents, they always said i wouldn't afford it, you would live in a halfway house and so on.

On what I suffer from, I have OCD, adhd, bipolar, autism and anxiety, quite a 'good' combination, plus the fact i have no schooling or job experience means I will never get a job.

I argue with my parents over my OCD, we yell at eachother over it, cause i make a lot of washing and they dont seem to understand what causes it when its easy to understand.

I've tried multiple psychiatrists but I didnt like them, one was flat out incompetent and a pill pusher and the more recent one I didnt like as they seemd to not pay attention, made some biting remarks + they tried to say I didnt have autim but a 'rare' type not recognized called patholgical demand avoidance which is garbage, she just listened to my parents who dont understand me.

I just in general dont trust psychiatrsits anymore, I dont have a high opinion of the profession at this point

[monkey_magic]

Hey wakewoke,

I know what u mean. I don't trust a lot of psychiatrists I've seen either. I'd see a doctor or a psychologist over a psychiatrist any day. I'm sure they're a good ones out there but so far I've seen ones i walk out on lol....a gut instinct response.

Never say never about the job. There are jobs you can get where they will train you. It depends on where u live though. I'm in a big city so I've been able to get by. You can always do a course in something as well. Or get the necessary tickets for eg RSA & RCG to work in pubs/ clubs...tickets to work on the roads, factory work etc etc...there are things you can do.

There are companies tailored to ppl with disabilities. They help you find work- this may suit. If you speak to Centrelink they can hook u up with a disability job provider to help u get work. I think it's awesome you're thinking about work btw despite the mental health concerns you are having.

Stuff the negativety of your parents. My mum used to say the same sort of stuff and I did it! And I also lived in a half way house lol.

[wakewoke]

Its the oddest thing, me and my parents relationship si wierd, sometiems were pleasant but han it switches into a huge argument within two minutes.

[wakewoke]

I just feel trapped honestly, like I want to be able to enjoy life but im never gonna be able to get a job with my lack of qualification or even schooling, so either i suffer with my parents cause i dont have the skills and money to support/enjoy myself or what?

what do i do? a big part of this is that i cannot focus and remember things, i have adhd but after my expeirence with incompetent psychiatrist i dont really trust many of them but there hte ones that give adhd meds, what am i supposed to do? the medicar rebate is simply not enough sometimes and it goes into my parents account and they dont pay me back for like a whole bloody month.

[CKS]

Hi wakewoke

I'm on board with the things monkey_monkey suggested.

Take hold of your 'own' life and things will start to change.

Take care CKS