fatal road trauma eating at me.

[wateva9]

18 months ago I had front row seats and was involved in a MVA resulting in 1 person (motorcycle rider) horrifically losing his life. Long story short, peak traffic, I was stopped he ran into me and came off under the B-Double in the next lane all at walking pace. I cant let go of the fact I have been promised the help and support from everyone I speak too. But it's all been bullshit, ROAD trauma sent me a pack supporting the riders family 3 weeks after the incident and never called. VP never followed up on anything so kept finding out things 3rd hand & I haven't been included or spoken to to see if i'm ok. I've engaged a psychologist to help me but I think i'm at the anger stage, taking it out and being angry at the ones I love. I've stopped the visions of the incident and clear of any wrong doing now, but I get pissed off with silly things and If I don't change I am going to lose the most amazing woman in the world.

How can I stop this? I want the person back my lady fell in love with because, I look at her and she looks defeated and I feel its me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi wateva9,

Welcome to our friendly online community. We are so glad that you decided to reach out here today as we know it can be tough to do this for the first time. We are so sorry to hear about what you have been through. It sounds like it has been a lot of cope with and we're sorry to hear that you haven't felt supported. Please know that you do not have to do this alone. Many in our community have experienced trauma of some form and understand. Hopefully a few of them will pop by and offer you some words of kindness and advice.

It's great to hear that you have booked an appointment with a psychologist. We think it's really strong of you that you have been so proactive in seeking help. We recognise that this must be a difficult time for you, so please know that there is help available to you at any time.

MensLine Australia is a free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns. You can contact them on 1300 78 99 78 or https://mensline.org.au/
  You might also find some helpful advice in the following thread: “Helpful strategies for anger”

Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it.
 

[wateva9]

Thankyou Sophie_M,

I will look into the links attached. Any help will be greatly received, I have never felt like this and I don't like it.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi wateva9,

Welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Of course you don't like it! I feel like I want to say words of comfort but really all that's coming to mind is that this really sucks and I wish that you didn't have to go through it.

I think it's a good idea to be going to the psychologist - would you be open to talking about how that's going?

The anger makes total sense, and you're allowed to be angry. I think maybe it's just navigating that enough so that you don't take it out on the ones you love.

Have you ever found some strategies to cope when you start to get pissed off? The first thing that comes to mind is exercise, or anything that can start to re-regulate you again. It's probably also helpful to try and catch that moment where you feel the anger building so you can intervene there too.

I hope you can find some support - whether it's within the forums or the resources that Sophie recommended.

rt