PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Guest_9462 Tics and body jolting
  • replies: 5

Hi, since I went through some changes to my medications, I've noticed I have uncontrollable jolting in my body..it was thought to be from Myoclonic seizures or jolts, but now I think it's actually part of a nervous Tic..also off and on, since childho... View more

Hi, since I went through some changes to my medications, I've noticed I have uncontrollable jolting in my body..it was thought to be from Myoclonic seizures or jolts, but now I think it's actually part of a nervous Tic..also off and on, since childhood, but more frequently now, there's pulling faces and rolling of my eyes..the shrugging shoulder action is getting worse..in two months, when my private cover is ready I plan on booking myself in...does anybody else get similar involuntary body jolts and shrugging???

Bailey83 Stopping the nightmares
  • replies: 1

Hello Beyond Blue, in March 2017 I was involved in motor vehicle accident. Though only a small one as someone cut in front of me with NO under cater or anything. The light changed from green to amber the person in front slammed her breaks on that har... View more

Hello Beyond Blue, in March 2017 I was involved in motor vehicle accident. Though only a small one as someone cut in front of me with NO under cater or anything. The light changed from green to amber the person in front slammed her breaks on that hard the front of her dipped while the rear of the car went up in turn I had to do the same thing, on a nice wet road. The point of impact was 39km. Her car came out with just a few scratches n dints while the front of my car just folded like a tin can. I later found out the this little gas part that makes the airbag go off was faulty and didn’t go off, it was an older car (2000 Mitsubishi Magna) I previously had a back operation a yr before I was all cleared to go back to work when this happened. That date has stuck into my head as I was taken to the hospital and found out I had broken my lower back (L5-s1) which was the weak spot prior to the accident. Today I’m still on TAC, now suffer from Depression, PTSD & Anxiety oh and sleep apnea due to all the nightmares I keep having due to my PTSD and use a CPAP machine. I’m currently seeing a psychologist which is helping me A LOT. I’m walking still which is also awesome, but like many other have had many good days & many bad days, with pain and not been able to work. All I did was play Xbox n watch Foxtel feeling sorry for myself and NOT THINKING OF PEOPLE AROUND ME. February 1st 2019 is also not a good date for me either as I hit rock bottom and did the unthinkable!! (I self harmed) I was in this very dark place and didn’t even know I did it at the time. To this day I still have bad thought but mostly on my down days. But thanks to my very loving family and talking about it has helped me so much. My point is there is ALWAYS help out there. Just because your a man doesn’t mean you have to be big n tuff and hind your emotions!! Talk to a family or friend that you trust. Make a phone call and just talk about how your feeling or want to just get something off our chest. ITS THE BEST WAY!!! I’ve learnt it takes more of a man to talk about your problems then to bottle them up like I do, but I’ll still currently learning not to bottle things up, TALK OPEN TOUR MOUTH. It’s the best way. Thank you for listening to my story.

Lunaluz My diagnosis of PTSD.
  • replies: 5

A week ago my psychologist diagnose me with PTSD as well as anxiety and depression. It has been strange to get my head around it and understanding this has been hard, specially because I don't want to tell anyone. Since I was young my mum was emotion... View more

A week ago my psychologist diagnose me with PTSD as well as anxiety and depression. It has been strange to get my head around it and understanding this has been hard, specially because I don't want to tell anyone. Since I was young my mum was emotionally abusive towards me, putting a lot of her emotions on to me,filling me with guilt and shame, as well as expecting me to help her fix the problems she was experiencing through my childhood. In a way she resented me for issues with my dad and her and my sister manipulated me for years,. About 3 years ago I moved from my country to live with my dad in Australia, I was 15, and since he acted in a similar manner to my mum; overly controlling and manipulative. The change of countries has been the most shocking thing that has happened to me, combined with my negative household life, I started experiencing very intense feelings, specially anxiety and depression. After 2 years of dealing with panic attacks,increasingly dark thoughts and getting into drugs and alcohol, I started seeing a psychologist who has helped me deal with my life in a better way. A month ago I decided to leave my dad's place for a couple of week, once he started to become mildly physically oppressive, however he took this opportunity to tell me I was no longer welcome to live with him. I've been living with a family friend since; and it has been amazing to experience an stable household. However, my anxiety is been very present this past month, I have a constant feeling that what has happened in my life is my fault. Everyone around has been extremely supportive of my situation and I'm very thankful of that, but I don't feel like I deserve that. I feel like I'm exaggerating the situation . I feel alone, I've been pushing people away and been awful to people I truly care about. I have exams in 2 months and I can't deal with everything. I don't want to be a burden to the people around me as I know they have their own lives and I don't want to bother them specially because I feel like I'm exaggerating the situation. As for my dad, I don't want to see him right now, that is awful of me but I'm not ready to be his 'friend'. People have traumatic, scaring experiences that lead to them experiencing PTSD. I don't think what has happened to me is enough to leave me as broken as I am, and for that I hate myself deeply, but I have no other option than to keep going.

wakewoke How can you get out of a Domestic abuse situation?
  • replies: 12

Hello, Im new to to this forum and I wish to ask for advice. Im 21 year old male who still lives with his parents due to mental issues, but I hate it here now, my parents insult me, we get into fights everyday over my issues, I act like a jerk and sa... View more

Hello, Im new to to this forum and I wish to ask for advice. Im 21 year old male who still lives with his parents due to mental issues, but I hate it here now, my parents insult me, we get into fights everyday over my issues, I act like a jerk and say terrible things, they do as well. But how do I get out? i dont have a car, i have a few grand from a pension but i want to to do things with my life and rent is expensive and i have no life skills and ive never had a job and i dont know what to do.

Hope3110 Losing faith and hope in the world
  • replies: 1

Hi there, I am really struggling at the moment. It almost feels like I’m drowning. The last 3 months have been horrendous for me. (I’ve had a horrendous life thus far, with psychical abuse, sexual abuse, trauma) but recently I feel like it’s the wors... View more

Hi there, I am really struggling at the moment. It almost feels like I’m drowning. The last 3 months have been horrendous for me. (I’ve had a horrendous life thus far, with psychical abuse, sexual abuse, trauma) but recently I feel like it’s the worst it’s ever been. My mum got diagnosed with a terminal illness, and I am a carer for her. Then my Aunty committed suicide a few days after her diagnosis. Then recently my grandfather passed away and he used to abuse me, and I had to plan his funeral and it got on top of me. Then recently I found out my brother has relapsed and had ice induced psychosis episode. I am finding it tough with everything going on every day. I find it hard with my partner because he’s got so much going on in his own life. I feel really lonely and struggling. I feel like I can’t catch a break. I work part time as a manager but I am struggling with that, as my boss is always fighting with head office, and vice versa. I just feel like I try to get it through it all but it just gets harder. I see a psychologist and my GP regularly and take medication for my anxiety. But it’s just something happens everyday and I feel like I’m drowning. And then this last week I’ve drank quite a bit and made myself sick. Just trying to escape. I can’t meditate as my mind wanders off. I just want a normal life. I want my mum to be around for my 30th, I want her to be around for all the big life events. They gave her 12-15 months and that was 3 months ago. But she’s not responding to treatment either and the tumour has grown. I had to plan her wedding to my step father and that was yesterday and it’s just sooooo much I’ve had to do. And I just think what can I do to get through all of this. In a safe way. Where I’m not burnt out and not exhausted and angry and hurt. Sorry this is probably just a huge rant. I don’t even know what I’m asking for.

MilliHub Struggling
  • replies: 1

Hi I am 24 and 10 years ago I was groomed and sexually abused by a student teacher at my school for almost 2 years. Afterwards I was raped by a boy from my college who was supposed to be my friend. I never told anyone until a few months ago when out ... View more

Hi I am 24 and 10 years ago I was groomed and sexually abused by a student teacher at my school for almost 2 years. Afterwards I was raped by a boy from my college who was supposed to be my friend. I never told anyone until a few months ago when out of the blue I was triggered. I've been struggling with feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, grief and heartache ever since. I don't enjoy the things that I used to enjoy and I've lost touch with friends and family members. It hurts to say, but I feel jealous of them because of the success and vitality that they seem to have, which I've never been able to create for myself. As much as I've tried to lead a full life, over the last 10 years I've gone through patterns, usually in winter, of falling into depressions where I've been unable to look after myself, maintain jobs, friendships and housing. But every time I've fallen I've always picked myself up. However this time things feel very different. I'm seeing a psychologist who is helping me learn emotional intelligence so that I can control my anxiety. I'm also trying to look after my diet and I'm trying to get exercise, vitamin d and 7=8 hours of sleep everyday. But, despite everything, I still feel like I'm alone and I don't know how to live my life. I want to know how others have coped in similar situations? Could you share advice or wisdom for me?

amber23 Childhood Trauma
  • replies: 5

My dad was abusive to both my mum and stepmum. I have witnessed many fights that he started with them. It was very traumatic for me and I only got diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the beginning of this year. Is anyone in the same situation as... View more

My dad was abusive to both my mum and stepmum. I have witnessed many fights that he started with them. It was very traumatic for me and I only got diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the beginning of this year. Is anyone in the same situation as me?

GooGooDolls Are there any Glass Children from the 70's reading?
  • replies: 6

Hi All A glass child is a sibling of a child with special needs. In the 70's resources were few and siblings in these type of high strung stressed families were largely overlooked. Its not that we weren't loved its that we were never seen... looked t... View more

Hi All A glass child is a sibling of a child with special needs. In the 70's resources were few and siblings in these type of high strung stressed families were largely overlooked. Its not that we weren't loved its that we were never seen... looked through like we were glass. I always have referred to myself as an invisible child. Its a very unusal type of trauma, as its so left field. I was wondering if there was anyone online that has experienced such a childhood and due to it has developed mental health issues. Hope to hear from someone

Ely_ Stopping flashbacks and thoughts after counselling
  • replies: 3

Hi I've recently started trauma counselling for past abuse. I felt I had no choice but to seek help from someone specialised in this, as when I broached it with my regular pyschologist I felt judged. I've posted in the psychologists and therapists et... View more

Hi I've recently started trauma counselling for past abuse. I felt I had no choice but to seek help from someone specialised in this, as when I broached it with my regular pyschologist I felt judged. I've posted in the psychologists and therapists etc forum separately on the issue of my psychologist. Anyway, last week's session was really challenging. We did some grounding. I left. I felt ok. Two days later I had to confront my psychologist, then that night I got a concussion and ended up in hospital overnight. The day I got out of hospital I had a really bad trigger on the way home and ever since, I am stuck in this loop of shame, self-hate, depression, so anxious and just all flashbacks and so many emotions. Yesterday I sought help from my GP who sent me to mental health to talk to them. They were a waste of time. By the time I got there I had to wait in ED coz the acute team was gone. Which made my anxiety so much worse. And now today I have to deal with the ever critical MIL who has nfi what mental health even is. I just get so angry and I hurt... I just want to stop thinking and feeling. Thanks for letting me get it out.

Guest5643 Guilt about owning a dog
  • replies: 13

I know millions of people live alone and has a dog but does anyone else constantly feel guilty for having a dog that constantly witnesses your anxiety depression ect? knowing it takes a mental toll on them Cheers lynne

I know millions of people live alone and has a dog but does anyone else constantly feel guilty for having a dog that constantly witnesses your anxiety depression ect? knowing it takes a mental toll on them Cheers lynne