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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Reen2050 How to support male partner CSA victim/PTSD
  • replies: 4

My partner and I have been together for 10 months. Early in our relationship he confided in me childhood sexual abuse perpetrated by two separate adult female caregivers (not related to him) when he was a young and mid teen. I believed him and want t... View more

My partner and I have been together for 10 months. Early in our relationship he confided in me childhood sexual abuse perpetrated by two separate adult female caregivers (not related to him) when he was a young and mid teen. I believed him and want to support him as best I can. He believes he has put this in the past, but I beg to differ. Although he doesn’t have a diagnosis, he fits all the symptoms of cPTSD. Intimacy has been very difficult for us, his moods can change very quickly, and with them his reaction to me. He is prone to avoidant and withdrawal behaviour. He can be erratic, struggle to go to sleep and has impulse control issues around weed, binge eating, alcohol and porn, none of which really cause a major impact on his life but it’s enough for me to notice. Talking about any of this only seems to make it worse. The only thing he’s been diagnosed with is anxiety and he feels he manages well with meditation, yoga and exercise (which he does to some degree). He says that any issues are me projecting my anxiety onto him. I do have generalised anxiety but it’s really well managed - my psychologist is very pleased with how far I’ve come and I no longer need meds. It’s just hard not to be triggered when his attitude towards me changes so abruptly, from loving and sweet to distant and cold. I really want to help him too - I can see that he is hurting when these things happen, but I just can’t seem to reach him and he doesn’t want to acknowledge that anything is off. Does anyone have any tips (either as partner/carer) of the person with PTSD?I’d be really grateful.

Tulips2019 Living with emotional abuse - What to do??
  • replies: 1

Hello my name is V, I’m divorce with 2 kids who I care for full time. I left my ex 8 years due to domestic violence. I left with my boys and changed my life and together with my kids we live a very happy and peaceful life. I never had much money but ... View more

Hello my name is V, I’m divorce with 2 kids who I care for full time. I left my ex 8 years due to domestic violence. I left with my boys and changed my life and together with my kids we live a very happy and peaceful life. I never had much money but we were happy. 5 years later I met someone and fell in love. We move in a year into the relationship. Soon I started to notice some concerning behaviours only to realise my new partner was abusive emotionally. He would shout at me, call me name, belittle me, bully me and mock me. Sometimes he would drink and become abusive in front of my kids. we were scared, but eventually he would apologise and say he was going to change. things would good for a while until the next time, even the slightest comments would make him angry. now almost 4 years on I’m struggle to continue on in the relationship. he has 2 young kids who come one night a week and his 6 year old son demonstrates similar behaviours, he rude and very angry if disciplined. overall I feel my mental health diminishing. I feel stressed, anxious and nervous all the time. I don’t eat and I feel sick in the stomach and have so much tension in my body. I feel as though I’m going to have a breakdown. a week ago I made a comment about his sons eating habits and he responded rudely to me. I asked he not to talk to that way and he became very aggressive and hurtful. We haven’t spoken since last night when he suggested we should talk buy that turned into him attacking me, telling me it’s all my fault, yelling and raising his voice and being very over powering. Not allowing to speak or finish a sentence and shutting me down the moment I tried to say how I felt. after that conversation I told him I wanted to break up. I felt the relationship just isn’t working and causing me so much stress. He didn’t respond. I slept in my sons room and that where I’ll stay from now in. I want out of the relationship but because we own the house together and I can’t afford to just leave I will need to stay until the house is sold and I have some money to find my own place. I don’t know how to deal with the tension in the house and share a roof with someone once you’ve ended the relationship. It’s affects my children too as he and I aren’t talking and avoiding each other. He’s very angry and it’s feel so uncomfortable. I need some advice. thank you in advance : )

scat My father died and I am not sure how to feel about it
  • replies: 12

My father was an abusive drunk. My mother divorced him in 1983 when I was 18. He remarried a woman who watched him abuse me and kick me out of my home when mum signed over the house to him on threat of death if she tried to claim it in the divorce se... View more

My father was an abusive drunk. My mother divorced him in 1983 when I was 18. He remarried a woman who watched him abuse me and kick me out of my home when mum signed over the house to him on threat of death if she tried to claim it in the divorce settlement. The gold digger and her children moved in and she married my father. He died recently and the gold digger did not tell us. I found out from a local hairdresser. I requested a copy of his will. It was dated 1991 and he left my brother and I $5 each because we never went to see him even though he violently drove us out of our home. my brother did visit him 3 years ago to make contact again. What bothers me the most is the lawyers who wrote his will think that we are arseholes for not seeing our father but he drove us away. I can't sleep, I am drinking way too much and I am swinging from deep rage to absolute depression over this and I deal with it. My father was sacked from his job for drinking when mum divorced him and he and the gold digger have never worked a day in their lives since. My mother worked her arse off in that house, even keeping debt collectors at bay. She did all the maintenance and ended up with nothing. She passed away from pancreatic cancer 9 years ago. The gold digger is laughing all the way to the bank at our expense. I have no idea how to get over this. We cannot contest the will because he left us $5 and I want to avenge my mother but I am not sure what to do

gaslighted1969 School yard sexual assaults, Almost blind, High Functioning Autusm and PTSD
  • replies: 1

Single mail in early 50s, was born almost blind and diagnosed with Autism during pre-school years, though this improved over my life, after 38 years have come out about my sexual assaults at high school. While in year 7 during 1983, pack of a few doz... View more

Single mail in early 50s, was born almost blind and diagnosed with Autism during pre-school years, though this improved over my life, after 38 years have come out about my sexual assaults at high school. While in year 7 during 1983, pack of a few dozen kids sexually assaulted me. From this point, I started showering immediately after school, and though I felt physically clean, I washed, and washed, and washed, as I felt mentally dirty. This overtime grew into a OCD of cleaning which I'm still dealing with today. There was a brief period in the twenty naughties when it went way down, and I had a relatively normal lower stress life. With my autism and visual impairment, I'm trying to get the things that heavily suppressed the OCD in the 00s, but though family was initially sympathetic about me coming out about the high school sexual assaults, I'm detecting a phase change. Wile staying with mother during last few days, I'm detecting a sense of psychological pushback from both family (well, they have to help many, and they don't have the funds). Uncle makes callous comment about me working in coal mine when washing hands. And as far as NDIS, Officers hanging up mid call when making enquiries regarding my application. After about a year of mucking around, I'd finally been granted access to the scheme in late March. Planning meeting with LAC, was helpful and friendly, but staff at 1800 number were obnoxious. I didn't notice at first, but my mother overheard the conversation, and noticed before she hung up that she was playing the "go slow" attitude, as the deadlines for approval became longer and longer during the call (this was personal). Toward the end, I may have said something like, "I'm not sure how those who make the decisions, having no idea what it's like to be sexually assaulted are responsible) I didn't explicitly say it, but I was getting frustrated with the "we're playing god" with you life attitude. I'm needing someone to advocate for me to the NDIS about my PTSD and Autism. PWD's got a lady in the local area, but (respectfully) she's not familiar with my issues and can't assist me much. I just don't have the mental and emotional energy to push this fight anymore.

MPower *Trigger warning - Domestic violence* Lost
  • replies: 2

I was married to my wife for 15 years. She has always been hot tempered, I accepted it. She always had a bad temper e.g. she would shout and scream at shop assistants, or her parents and occasionally this would be directed at me. I feel a coward for ... View more

I was married to my wife for 15 years. She has always been hot tempered, I accepted it. She always had a bad temper e.g. she would shout and scream at shop assistants, or her parents and occasionally this would be directed at me. I feel a coward for not standing up to her. About 2 years ago, we purchased a house and renovated it extensively - it went badly. Her aggression got progressively worse, calling me a variety of abusive names every day for small things going wrong. I was walking on egg shells and scared of her reactions, thinking I was the cause of all her pain. We eventually completed the renovation and moved in and the bad behavior continued. I meekly told her to stop and find each other again, but everything continued and got worse. The verbal abuse turned into physical at some points. I had very dark thoughts at the time, and contemplated ending it. I believe these feelings came from her upbringing where her dad gambled away all their money and created huge trauma. I talked to a female friend who helped me recognise this wasn't normal. I told the friend I would leave my wife, but my wife went through my phone and found out before I told her and attempted to commit suicide 2x. I was mentally broken, and my parents packed a bag for me and I left that evening, requesting peace. She called me over 1,000 times and texted double that in panic. Next day she came to work and assaulted a friend. I went to the police to try and get her help, but backed out. I had to move back into the house because of financial reasons. My anger grew towards her. She cried every night, blaming me wailing why did he cheat on me - I didn't. After at least 8 weeks of accusations, wailing, sleep deprivation (e.g. I'd move to a different rooms and she would barge in). I moved out of the house shortly after for my own safety and hers and tried to live by myself. I started dating as I saw no future with her. I dated others, but I miss my wife's company, but don't think its healthy. I submitted divorce papers. I feel guilty, ashamed things failed. I feel responsible for everything and I couldn't hold it together. I sleep 3-4 hours a night, self medicate with alcohol to sleep. I'm no longer interested in life. I dont kno what to do.

Anzee Leaving after domestic and family violence
  • replies: 18

Hi all, 3.5 weeks ago a domestic violence service convinced me to go into emergency accommodation for a couple of weeks to have a break from my abusive partner (also the father to our two daughters, 8 and 4) they said even if it’s just the wake up ca... View more

Hi all, 3.5 weeks ago a domestic violence service convinced me to go into emergency accommodation for a couple of weeks to have a break from my abusive partner (also the father to our two daughters, 8 and 4) they said even if it’s just the wake up call he needed to engage in the help and support he needed to start making some changes. He started talking to a psychologist via Telehealth, and told me he is just waiting for confirmation for him to start a men’s behaviour change program. I did a risk assessment and from that protective services got involved and put restrictions in place about only having supervised visits with us. They also told me if I didn’t take an IVO out against him they would because he was calling, texting and trying to visit me constantly and leaning on me for support and I was feeling so guilty and falling for the responsibility of his emotional needs because I’ve always carried that responsibility and it’s really hard to let that go. The IVO isn’t due to go to court until Friday so he is still contacting me a lot for support and I just feel to guilty and responsible to cut him off so I try to be brief and blunt but will usually give him an answer but he is really trying to get me back and I am struggling not to give in (obviously that is not possible until the protective services have taken away restrictions). How do you stop going back into that trap of the familiar cycle of abuse? It just feels so much easier than doing it in my own. My family have been quite unsupportive and have taken his side for a lot of it because I haven’t given them details and insight to the abuse we have suffered from him. I have told two of my sisters some details but they just think it’s fine and normal behaviour in a relationship. My mum was the first female for generations in her family to not be an extremely, life threatening physically violent relationship and has told us stories of rescuing family members from guns been held to them etc so I think to them unless it’s extreme physical violence it’s not family violence. I thought I could do it on my own without their support but I’m really struggling now and don’t think I can and when he sends me these messages begging for me back I just want to reassure him once restrictions are lifted I’ll take him back but I really want to show my daughters what’s right too but I really don’t know how long I can keep doing it alone. Any advice? Anyone in a similar position?

Jeremy_M anxiety about child’s Health after trauma
  • replies: 3

Hi guys, does anybody struggle with anxiety about their baby/toddler’s health? i seem to get myself into a mad fuss and spiral anytime he is surrounded by people or go to a Park etc, I think he’s going to pick up some sort of rare disease that takes ... View more

Hi guys, does anybody struggle with anxiety about their baby/toddler’s health? i seem to get myself into a mad fuss and spiral anytime he is surrounded by people or go to a Park etc, I think he’s going to pick up some sort of rare disease that takes his life and I will have to say goodbye to him while he looks at me this has happened ever since my partner had complications after birth and I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety initially it was anxiety about my partners health after she recovered and now it has morphed into a constant worry and fear about my sons health It gets so bad, I get so worked up that I can’t cope and I begin to freak out I struggle to enjoy my life with him during this time, considering he’s been the pinnacle of health ever since he was born Any one else have any advice?

Middle_aged_and_anxious Freaked out about anything that can cause me harm
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm 41. I have PTSD from witnessing a suicide at work 18 months ago and generalised anxiety disorder, currently exacerbated by the PTSD. I am scared of anything and everything that cause myself or loved ones harm. EG my brothers puppy scratched m... View more

Hi, I'm 41. I have PTSD from witnessing a suicide at work 18 months ago and generalised anxiety disorder, currently exacerbated by the PTSD. I am scared of anything and everything that cause myself or loved ones harm. EG my brothers puppy scratched me on my lip, now I'm convinced I have tetanus, to the point my jaw is sore and I have headaches. If I smell something 'unusal'i believe there's a gas leak or carbon monoxide in my house/car. If I hit my head I worry I could have a brain injury and so on. This thinking and worrying also applys to my children, my dog and my partner. I am in therapy fortnightly, I have recently settled my workers compensation claim and will be referred to a new psychiatrist and hopefully start schema therapy. Im stuck, I am sick of feeling and worrying like this all the time, but feel if I dont, something bad will happen. I dont know what else to do or how I would like people to help me. So I guess ill take what comes. My background is working in a psychiatric ward at a local hospital, up until the suicide I witnessed. I have had anxiety and depressive symptoms since I was 15, probably much younger, but we will go with 15 for arguments sake. Not currently working have 2 children, 3 cats, a dog and a puppy I am looking after almost full time for a few weeks. anyway, that's me in a nutshell. cheers for taking the time Xx

Jen-Jo Manipulation
  • replies: 8

I am completely lost. It is dawning on me that my husband has used manipulation to control me. We have been married for 21 years and this started before we were married. Over time he has isolated me from family and friends so I no longer have any fri... View more

I am completely lost. It is dawning on me that my husband has used manipulation to control me. We have been married for 21 years and this started before we were married. Over time he has isolated me from family and friends so I no longer have any friends. We have two children 19 and16. My daughter 16 has had ongoing issues that have involved her having a ‘secret life’, lying very convincingly, making up stories, attention seeking and manipulating me and segregating me from my husband and son. She can be extremely vile towards me too. It has been a rollercoaster and she has also struggled with suicide tendencies, self harm anxiety low self esteem depression and an eating disorder. In my plight to get her help, I ‘offloaded’ to her psychologist and mentioned how I had noticed the manipulating, secret life and lying traits in my husband. It was like opening a can of worms that I have kept the lid firmly shut on for 21 years+ The more I spoke about it the more I realised that I have been controlled and manipulated big style! My husband lies to me and I have strong suspicions that he may be involved in porn and maybe gets his sexual pleasures from other sources too. I think he has coerced me into sexual activities that I have not wanted to do including naked photo shoots. If i try to say no he still continues so I just go along. He wears me down and makes me feel guilty if I dont. I think he has filled my head with lies and rubbish that have confused my perceptions. He has a temper and makes me and the kids feel scared. He tried to hit me a long time ago but didnt and he has rough handled my daughter to the extent i had to intervene. I am so confused and messed up. dont know whats real and what isnt in our relationship. I love him and have given myself completely to him but he has held back. My kids see the same behaviours I see. My daughter has no clue that she has the same traits and my husband seems to have no clue that he has them. I am lost, broken, gutted, betrayed but feel incredibly guilty and like I am betraying him by talking about this. He has no idea I have figured this out and I am too scared to broach any of it with him as he will get angry and tell me Im imagining it. I have no idea what to do next. I have no friends here but I have talked to my sister in the uk who is not surprised as they have seen his behaviour. My kids are now fully aware of the situation. I have no idea what to do next because I dont want to leave him either!

Chonchon PTSD , trauma need advice
  • replies: 3

Hi my name is chantelle - I’m 32 , I can’t can’t retain information , so I can have a conversation and listen and look like I’m present and listening and engaging in the conversation but my brains like elsewhere and not remembering any of it . I can’... View more

Hi my name is chantelle - I’m 32 , I can’t can’t retain information , so I can have a conversation and listen and look like I’m present and listening and engaging in the conversation but my brains like elsewhere and not remembering any of it . I can’t sit and listen to a audio book or read normal book as still can’t retain it , I can sit and watch a movie for few hours again afterwards forget a lot of it . Growing up for 20 years I had trauma from moving around a lot , to abuse , being put in foster care , my mum sent me to a special school for social skills which shouldn’t of gone to as everyone said there I was smart and popular , I also been told there was may some sexual abuse but I don’t remember anything ( I don’t remember a lot growing up and I don’t remember stuff from even last year , it’s like I block everything out that happens . Then about 10 years ago I left home , broke free from it all , and became a live in nanny , put myself into work 24/7 , I have now been living in with families and being apart of their family’s which I guess I have loved as never had that growing up and I love looking after kids . I’m now with my 4th live in family , I have been with them now for 4 years ( they have said maybe ens of year I’ll need to maybe move as there won’t be a need for me anymore and every time i think about it I break down into tears as I’m scared about the future , I want to figure out what will help me with my retaining stuff , if I’ll need to take medication if it will help , I don’t know . I want to fix this as I want to be able to get to a place where I can study , get a stable Job in a kinder , make friends , I’m so scared as I’m worried if I leave here I’ll have nothing no friends , no job , no family , no where to live and it really frightens me and makes me so upset thinking about it . And I think what if I move and rent how will I afford rent and bills on my own.