PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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GemAndLogan Abusive Ex is now in jail, I feel weird about it
  • replies: 11

Hi all! It's been a little while since I've started a new post because I've been extremely lucky in that everything has been going well. However I found out on Saturday night that my ex partner is now in jail and it kind of threw me for a loop. We we... View more

Hi all! It's been a little while since I've started a new post because I've been extremely lucky in that everything has been going well. However I found out on Saturday night that my ex partner is now in jail and it kind of threw me for a loop. We were together 9 years and he always battled addiction and obeying the law. In the end his ice addiction changed him and he became physically and emotionally abusive towards me, even putting me in hospital twice and cheating on me. Leaving was hard because I loved the person he was before drugs but it was the best thing I ever did as the person he became was hurting me a lot. I don't love him any more and have had no contact since leaving (about 7 months ago), I have an amazing boyfriend now and have well and truly moved on from the past but I don't understand my feelings when finding out about his situation especially because everyone saw it coming, including me. I feel shocked, sad but also overwhelmed with relief that I don't have to be the one picking up the pieces for him while he was in jail. I feel devastated for the person I once knew, despite the fact that he hadn't been that person for at least 18 months due to his ice use. His sister has tried to contact me but I don't want to see his family because I want to leave him and any ties to him in the past but is that selfish of me? After I left, all I felt was anger and resentment for him and didn't care at all about what happened to him. But now that something has happened, I feel sad? And although I feel sad, I still have no desire at all to make contact with him or see him. I'm confused about my own emotions which is frustrating. I've been talking to family and friends about it but everyone seems to think I should be so happy with him being in jail after what he did to me and of course, his own actions put him there but I just don't feel happy about it. Always grateful to be able to vent here : ) Lots of love Gem

Ely_ DID - confusing thoughts about switching
  • replies: 2

Hi all,I am recognised as having DID. I am still very much in the start of the process of learning about how we work and and working on communication, connection etc. I am not pursuing an official diagnosis as there are already enough issues experien... View more

Hi all,I am recognised as having DID. I am still very much in the start of the process of learning about how we work and and working on communication, connection etc. I am not pursuing an official diagnosis as there are already enough issues experienced due to other conditions/diagnoses. Anyway the point of this post is I am wondering if any others with DID or OSDD have experienced blocking or distracting away from switches because you feel like it is 'weak' to 'give in' to a switch? Previously there has been fear and shame and things like that, but this seems to be new. We have discussed briefly in therapy, but didn't come up with any ideas. There is still lots of doubt & denial being worked through, so perhaps it is related to that? Thanks

Mc_fluffy Seeking help finding online or phone psychiatrist support services.
  • replies: 1

Hello, Seeking help to find appropriate support services in South Australia. I about 30 years ago I have endured significant violent trauma. Witnessing violent death perpetrated by strangers. All my life I've lived with a physical difference in my br... View more

Hello, Seeking help to find appropriate support services in South Australia. I about 30 years ago I have endured significant violent trauma. Witnessing violent death perpetrated by strangers. All my life I've lived with a physical difference in my brain that contributes to anger, anxiety, depression, learning difficulties and poor adaptation to change. My brain is physically reactive. As I've gotten older, my abilities to manage memories has become increasingly difficult, re-sending events and night terrors. These terrors lead to or contribute to significant seizures that are causing injuries ranging from milder ones like bruises to recently fractured vertebra. Does anyone know of a psychiatriac online or phone service in South Australia or Nationally who can work with my psychiatrist to help manage issues as they arise?

Debbiedoo I have no one to talk to
  • replies: 4

Hi, I have written a post before but these images are come more often. I was given the usual tablets for depression and anxiety and also self medicated with alcohol, I have not had a drink for 2 weeks and now I’m have flashbacks of my father abusing ... View more

Hi, I have written a post before but these images are come more often. I was given the usual tablets for depression and anxiety and also self medicated with alcohol, I have not had a drink for 2 weeks and now I’m have flashbacks of my father abusing me . Im trying to move on from these but they just keep coming.

Illbeok PTSD & hair loss
  • replies: 3

I've posted my issue a week ago and I don't know if it is appropriate to post another one here, so I'm sorry if I'm doing it wrong. I feel like I'm going crazy now because my abusers (they are my family members) contacted my friend in Japan, asking h... View more

I've posted my issue a week ago and I don't know if it is appropriate to post another one here, so I'm sorry if I'm doing it wrong. I feel like I'm going crazy now because my abusers (they are my family members) contacted my friend in Japan, asking her to talk to them. I know what they are going to tell her, they are going to tell my friend that I am crazy and have mental health problem and don't believe me, I know my friend understands (because she saw some of the things that they did to me) and but she says she is scared now. I contacted the authority in Japan but they say I should hire a lawyer. My PTSD symptoms have skyrocketed ever since, I've already lost so much hair due to all this and am going bold... my wig is too hot and feel like it's making it worse... my hair loss making my social anxiety worse too. I don't have any friends here in Australia, I contacted Grow meeting but no answer... so lonely and just crying.

mytrauma81 Then I had my daughter
  • replies: 2

I’ve grown up with trauma my whole life. So many people would comment you’re such a strong person and so resilient. These people knew most of my traumas but not all. its true, I am, I was a strong female who had compassion but never allowed anyone to... View more

I’ve grown up with trauma my whole life. So many people would comment you’re such a strong person and so resilient. These people knew most of my traumas but not all. its true, I am, I was a strong female who had compassion but never allowed anyone to treat me badly. Yet as a child I was treated so badly and allowed it. Being manipulated to feel that I was the problem. I grew up and had great relationship and then found my husband. We had 2 boys and life was amazing. Then I had my daughter and the secret trauma I pushed to one side and never told anyone resurfaced like a tsunami and flash backs began. They influenced me in ways I couldn’t imagine and I became someone I didn’t know. Constant fear and dread. You see I was sexually abused by my 2 brothers at a young age. I never told a sole. My beautiful boys I would now look at as predators. It’s not there fault but I grew up thinking it was not my brothers fault. They didn’t know any better. 1 is a bad bad person who we have all disowned. The other is a manipulative narcissistic person. My other brother- was my protector. Not perfect but always my protector.the trauma and flashbacks wouldn’t disappear and my dependency on alcohol and stimulants surfaced. No one knows. They see me as a strong independent amazing mum. Which I am but the trauma is eating away. I confided in my husband and best friend and they have been so supportive and said it explains so much. Why I continued to allow the manipulator brother dictate to me. I don’t want to tell anyone else but am stuck in this merry go round of trauma. I’ve since lost my dad who was my hero and feel broken. Therapists can’t help. I know it was never my fault. I was too young to understand. But fear for my daughter 24/7. It’s crippling. What are some suggestions that have helped others get past trauma

Tagco PTSD Compo and Centrelink
  • replies: 1

Former bottle shop attendant for a well known chain. I have recently been through 2 hold ups and going through a pretty tough time trying to recover. My problem is that i am no longer with my employer but i still receive help from The private Compo i... View more

Former bottle shop attendant for a well known chain. I have recently been through 2 hold ups and going through a pretty tough time trying to recover. My problem is that i am no longer with my employer but i still receive help from The private Compo insurer for medical visits , expenses etc. This means i receive an updated work cover certificates after every visit with my GP. As I'm no longer with my employer and i get no financial help from the Compo Insurer I now rely on help through Centrelink. This is where the system is wrong and i get no help from Centrelink. I recently talked to a Centrelink Social Worker and asked to join a DES Service Provider Program to help me get back to work or try to go back to work only to find that i can't do that because i need a medical Certificate. My doctor won't give me a certificate because I'm on Work Cover and she said it is against the law to give me a Certificate for Centrelink while I'm on the Work Cover Certificate. So even though I'm Receiving regular help From my Psychologist and GP and on medication I am not classed as sick through Centrelink's eyes and have been asked to apply for so many jobs every month to the point that i was with my Service Provider the other day and she asked why I'm not applying for Phone canvassing Jobs. I looked at her and replied that i would be no good at doing phone Work as i can't even talk to someone on the Phone without shaking. She then said well why have you been applying for Delivery Driver Jobs if you can't talk on the phone. With tears in my eyes i looked at her and said at least I'm Trying. I just feel like I'm going backwards in trying to recover and I'm in a very emotional state at the moment and some days i can't stop crying. The Compo Insurer has promised me to help me with a back to work plan but I've been waiting for 6 weeks now. So with no help from either end I'm stuck in the middle of a system that does not help the sick. I don't want to be on Centrelink but have no choice and all i ask is for some help with getting me back in the work force. The Disability Work Provider (Des) said i need a Medical Certificate to Join there Service. I just think it's so wrong that even though i have proof of my sickness that no one can help me with me in trying to get back to work. Has anyone else been through this and have any answers for me. Please help me.

Cheer Cheer
  • replies: 2

Currently unemployed yet again due to being bullied I. The workplace at 62 I am not giving much hope to return to work

Currently unemployed yet again due to being bullied I. The workplace at 62 I am not giving much hope to return to work

cat15 Narrcistic abuse
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am a 52 year old woman, and have a life of narrcistic abuse from my mother, and exhusband. I always felt different and wondered why things never made sense and why things were always my fault and still my fault. I could never put my finger o... View more

Hello, I am a 52 year old woman, and have a life of narrcistic abuse from my mother, and exhusband. I always felt different and wondered why things never made sense and why things were always my fault and still my fault. I could never put my finger on what was wrong. I have now discovered that both my mother and my exhusband are narrccists. I read about narrcism and when I did it hit me like a brick, all the things they say and did and are still doing to me, finally had a name. I am trying to get help, but it seems people don't believe me, or take me seriously. Why didn't I see what was going on? I don't know how to get over this. My exhusband was abusing me mentally and at times physically, for over 30 years. This might sound trivial, but narrcistic abuse is real, and I have been left feeling, worthless, stupid and not good for anyone or anything. If anyone can offer advice I,would be greatful. I,wish you all well.

Debbiedoo This is about everything
  • replies: 2

Hello,This will be all over the place cause I’m still trying to understand all this I’m a woman in my 50’s and every once in a while I would have this memory . Before my Parents divorced I was 13 yrs old my father took me away to QLD and this is wher... View more

Hello,This will be all over the place cause I’m still trying to understand all this I’m a woman in my 50’s and every once in a while I would have this memory . Before my Parents divorced I was 13 yrs old my father took me away to QLD and this is where the memory starts , I’m sitting on a bed and the tv is on and “Pretty Baby “was on my father comes out of the bathroom wearing just a towel and asks if I want a glass of wine , I said ok and he kept giving wine . All of this is in the third person as in from behind me like someone else is watching this . I never told anyone cause when ever I remembered this it didn’t know if it ever happened but I always felt anxious when it resurfaced. I also had another image where I was laying on the bed naked with my eyes closed and my father was touching me but it was viewed from above once again like through someone else’s eyes. The last thing I remember about that trip was waking up at home ( we lived in NSW ) .My father was physically abusive and an alcoholic we were always walking around on eggshells . My Mum passed away in 2019 and my world crumbled, Mum and I talked all the time yes we argued but she was everything to me so this is where everything unraveled. I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with depression and was put on tablets and told to talk to a psychologist, we talked for a few months and was diagnosed with CPTSD & Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I had never told anyone about what I had remembered until I saw a psychiatrist I told her about the one where he was coming out the bathroom and she said that it was definitely a memory . After all this I would like to know if anyone else remembers things happening in the third person cause I’m just worried that if this is all true will I remember more ?