Immediate support
Immediate support

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Start a discussion

The_Bro ANOTHER FRIEND IS NOW DYING FROM CANCER - WHAT SHOULD I SAY?
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone As we get older and certainly wiser, it becomes easier I think, to deal with what life throws at you as life's priorities become much clearer. You learn to walk away from what's just not important, stop worrying so much about trivialities... View more

Hi everyone As we get older and certainly wiser, it becomes easier I think, to deal with what life throws at you as life's priorities become much clearer. You learn to walk away from what's just not important, stop worrying so much about trivialities and think more about what it really means to life a good life - 'A life well lived' in other words. Well last year the best friend of my wife and myself got cancer, and now has about three months to live. She in in New Zealand and we speak every couple of weeks on Face Time. Yesterday I got shocking news that the wife of one of my best friends also has cancer. Not sure what the prognosis is but she is on her second round of chemo and losing her amazing hair already. So - what are the best words to use when speaking or writing to a cancer sufferer? The friend due to die shortly has confided that she is really tired of people telling her how strong she is, you have got this, be strong, you are a fighter etc etc. Last week I said to her that she must feel really awful and sometimes angry about what has happened to her, and she burst into tears saying all she wants is friends to understand make an effort to listen. In other words, show a little true empathy and not just empty words of encouragement that can sound so false. Now a second friend has cancer - we learn about in on Facebook only yesterday. Her husband is a really good mate and told me they just weren't up to ringing people so please forgive them for posting on Facebook a couple of weeks after the diagnosis. Nearly all the posts on Facebook are all about how strong she is, what a fighter, give it a big kick in the bum etc etc. I sent a post and a personal message as well, reminding them about the holiday we had early last year (before Covid) and how much we should all look forward the the opportunity to do that again! Not that I look for this at all, but did notice my post got heaps of likes. So the big question is - what does the cancer sufferer really want to hear? I know everyone is different and so are friendships. It's just that this double lot of rotten news has been really hard to take and made an impact on me that I wasn't expecting. And it's going to get worse as the end nears for both of them. Any comments from forum users who have battled through close friends deaths would be appreciated. Especially concerning what is was that the dying friend found most comforting to hear. Thanks very much, I hope to hear from you. All the best, The Bro

Luna_Light *Trigger warning - Sexual Assault* Scared lost and alone what do I do?
  • replies: 4

From the age of 12 till I was 13 I was S/A and abused by my mother's BF until he was deported back to the USA because his visa ran out. I was so happy he was still in contact for while after he left, I hated pretending everything was fine and pretend... View more

From the age of 12 till I was 13 I was S/A and abused by my mother's BF until he was deported back to the USA because his visa ran out. I was so happy he was still in contact for while after he left, I hated pretending everything was fine and pretend that the things he would say over the phone was not horrible, but there was still the threat that he was coming back, but he stopped calling so I thought I was free & no one had to know what he did to me. Until I was 15 & my mother had found him on social media she told me she was thinking about getting in contact with him again told her NO but I had to tell her why. She told me that she believed me we cried, I had felt like I wasn't alone any more. the next day I went the police station to make a report. After this day the police collected evidence & statements the relationship between my self & my mother declined. I couldn't understand why but she seemed to be mad at me one day a thought popped into my head "I don't think she believes me, but she is my mother she knows I would never lie about this. Right?" For about the next 3 years every few months I would get a phone call from the police checking if I wanted to continue with the case I would always say "YES" they would say ok then end of the call. It's would destroy my mental health every time but I wanted justice so I kept saying yes. But eventually the polices stopped calling. Years go by I found out my mother was telling people what happened to me & that she didn't believe me. Then last year an officer had come across my case & so the officer called me, told me that if it was OK with me he wanted to continue with the case & that he had already contact with the FBI they had enough evidence and information to extradite 'HIM' back to Aus & charge 'HIM'. This was ment with a lot of feelings but I said yes. But we are still in the middle of a pandemic so it keeps getting pushed back and now I'm stuck in limbo waiting for international travel to open so I can go to court now I'm stuck here feeling like it's never going to happen, if/when It does what will happen what will court be like? Will I make it through the whole process? When I testify should ask for him to be removed? What happens if HE is found not guilty or if HE is found guilty how will I deal with the fact that he is back in Aus. flash backs are getting worse, I can't sleep at night, most days. I try & tell people that I'm not ok but they just don't understand how bad it is getting for me.

Daniel_LK91 How to get my life back on track?
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone. I had a lot of bad experiences, mostly throughout my 20's experimenting with different kinds of drugs and overall just a host of bad decisions like dropping out of university, I have also not been able to keep a stable job. I lost all of... View more

Hi everyone. I had a lot of bad experiences, mostly throughout my 20's experimenting with different kinds of drugs and overall just a host of bad decisions like dropping out of university, I have also not been able to keep a stable job. I lost all of my friends throughout my twenties and now spend most of my time alone. I feel pretty alone most times and have trouble socializing, keeping a job, making friends and functioning in the world. I would really like to get myself back on track and live a "normal" life if possible. I think I developed trauma from some negative drug experiences. How can I get my life back on track? Thanks, Daniel.

Sary Sary
  • replies: 2

I m sary and new here how do I see my my previous message that I posted today morning

I m sary and new here how do I see my my previous message that I posted today morning

Doolhof How to move on
  • replies: 220

Hi All, I've not been around for a while. It has been quite an interesting year since May last year. I've struggled quite a bit with Complex PTSD, BPD Depression, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks and grief. Where to from here? I have been stuck for a... View more

Hi All, I've not been around for a while. It has been quite an interesting year since May last year. I've struggled quite a bit with Complex PTSD, BPD Depression, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks and grief. Where to from here? I have been stuck for a while with little energy to move on and not much of an idea how to move on anyway. It is hard when my mind decides it wants to disconnect as that feels safer and then I wander through each day like a person in a movie set, just pretending. Empty. Distant. Anyone else have trouble getting from one day to the next, waking up in the morning and wondering what on earth you are going to do with that day? At least at work I know I need to be there and have a rough idea what I am supposed to be doing! I wrote more here and deleted it. I have reached out for help in so many places. Maybe I am just too broken to be fixed. Maybe this is as good as it gets. Maybe I just need to be more grateful for all I do have and continue to stuff my issues down inside of me hoping they don't find a way to the surface anymore. The last psychologist I saw told me I need to buy new curtains for the house, a comfortable chair to sit in and new pictures for the walls! Oh yes, that will certainly help with the CPTSD, BPD, Suicidal thoughts, past traumas and unresolved grief that all come uninvited to attack my mind. Why didn't I think of doing that earlier! I don't need a psychologist I need thousands of dollars and an interior designer! How to move on? I am open to suggestions!

Sary Itchy skin
  • replies: 2

Anyone on here has experienced itch skin and no matter what treatment u use it doesn’t help the itch

Anyone on here has experienced itch skin and no matter what treatment u use it doesn’t help the itch

Mossliy Nasty people and unsupportive partner
  • replies: 1

I have lived in a nice little area for the last few years with my young children. Lately neighbouring properties have been turned into moto X tracks (I am not against the bikes) I am being targeted as soon as my partner goes away for work. Kids ridin... View more

I have lived in a nice little area for the last few years with my young children. Lately neighbouring properties have been turned into moto X tracks (I am not against the bikes) I am being targeted as soon as my partner goes away for work. Kids riding motorbikes,constant loud revving, starting at 7am and not finishing until 6pm on the weekends.(only supposed to be a 2hour limit for dirtbikes in the area) I have already spoken to one of the parents asking them to not rev excessively near my house with a response of I don't care attitude. I have gotten used to the noise however my young kids wanted to go and play outside but were unable to due to the terrible dust created. I had to ask my kids to stay inside due to one of them having a chronic health issue. I felt unsafe to ask them to stop riding near my house. I called my partner who basically told me to"get over it" Now I just want to take my kids and leave as I can't stand living here and don't want to be with someone who can't help stand up for me . The only trouble is that having a chronicly ill child makes it hard to do that. I just needed to vent as theres no other help available to me

Jorge1 Working through my trauma to find myself again
  • replies: 3

Hi all I just needed a place to express how grateful I am to have reached this point in my life. I have been to many dark places and it's nice to recognise the light again. I can now understand how I was unable to move through my own trauma. I was fe... View more

Hi all I just needed a place to express how grateful I am to have reached this point in my life. I have been to many dark places and it's nice to recognise the light again. I can now understand how I was unable to move through my own trauma. I was feeling stuck for decades until I decided to park relationship troubles and life to focus solely on myself. It was hard, I felt selfish and unworthy. I realised I was skirting my issues and taking on my partner's crap that was being projected onto me. I was unable to untangle me and my mess from her mess. After a short stint in a Trauma Recovery Unit, I feel strong all of a sudden, all those attempts at boundary setting have paid off. Twenty years of working on myself with Psychologists, Psychiatrists, hospitalisations, EMDR, ACT, DBT, misdiagnosis, anxiety and depression have certainly paid off. I now have a definate sense of who I am and what my values are. Years of denying I was born into the wrong body has been pushed down for too long. Recently I outed myself to my immediate family and a few close friends. My anxiety levels rose but not to unmanageable levels. The excitement I feel at having options to explore now that I have accepted I am trans trumps the anxiety I feel poking my head out of the shadows. My partner has her own self growth journey and we are at very different stages. It saddens me and I know I am doing the right thing separating her stuff from mine. It may see us heading in different directions and that is okay. Incredibly sad and okay. I need to and will continue to put me first. I feel worthy now. I no longer feel selfish. I feel proud of the hole I have crawled out of. I feel excited by the future. Self compassion, self validation and sharing with others is such a beautiful place to be finding myself. Hugs to all x : )

Zazu Is it sexual assault, or regret?
  • replies: 7

Well over ten years ago but still intrudes on my thoughts. More so lately after I've been seeing a therapist for something totally unrelated, send to be opening a Pandora's Box of memories. Out with my boyfriend at the time and his best friend from i... View more

Well over ten years ago but still intrudes on my thoughts. More so lately after I've been seeing a therapist for something totally unrelated, send to be opening a Pandora's Box of memories. Out with my boyfriend at the time and his best friend from interstate who I'd not met before. He hooks up with a girl and we all go back to my bfs place. I'm very drunk at this stage, so is the other girl. I don't even know how we got back to the house. All I remember of the night, is my bf telling me that the other girl is useless and to go help his friend out, then I remember the friend having sex with me. Next thing I remember is they're both having sex with me (dp) which I've never done before and still feel gross about. Next morning I wake up naked, sore and with my bf telling me I need to go home now, they have things to do. Had to get it off my chest. Part of me says it's my fault, I was drunk but remember it, so that means I could have said no, and the other part of me says that I was way too drunk to consent, and would not have done it if I was any more sober than I was. All I feel about it is shame.

Mgold23 Moving on from a traumatic past
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone! Just want to start off by saying thank you for reading this if you are. I know this is a safe space for me to vent and put all my emotions out in the open so thank you. I was adopted at the age of 2 weeks old by my aunt who was unable to... View more

Hi Everyone! Just want to start off by saying thank you for reading this if you are. I know this is a safe space for me to vent and put all my emotions out in the open so thank you. I was adopted at the age of 2 weeks old by my aunt who was unable to have a child, she was currently married at the time she adopted me. At a very young age of 4 years old, i was abused by a family friend whom I never disclosed to the family at that time. At such a young age, I was told to keep my mouth shut and not say anything as the old asian culture saying was "Children should be seen but not heard". My aunt's husband at the time was very abusive and I have seen a lot of things that a young child should never see. Luckily, she was able to escape him by leaving the country altogether and the way we left the country was very rushed and secretive. We moved to Australia as she married an Australian and we moved our simple life to a city where we had to start all over again - a new start they say! But sadly at the age of 13 - 19 years old, I was sexually abused every weekend by this stepfather. My aunt at the time worked a lot so she was not around to protect me but even then, she knew the abuse was happening as I would always be angry and sad all the time. She never questioned me or asked if i was okay when the abuse was happening. She too was being emotionally and financially abused by this man who had controlled every aspect of our lives. I was unable to stay connected with friends or passed high school as the abuse became more horrific and violent. I'm now 27 years old and started a new job at a law firm 5 months ago, but I'm hitting another low depression state where I'm unable to find the motivation to get up every day at work. I'm worried and stressed that I will be potentially losing my job.