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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Sandy19 How do I get over the shame of a sexual assault?
  • replies: 5

I feel so ashamed and overwhelmed. 20 yrs ago I was sexually assaulted by 2 men on a night out. I never told anyone because I was so ashamed that it must've been my fault because I drank too much. I was left battered and bruised and had to hide it fr... View more

I feel so ashamed and overwhelmed. 20 yrs ago I was sexually assaulted by 2 men on a night out. I never told anyone because I was so ashamed that it must've been my fault because I drank too much. I was left battered and bruised and had to hide it from my family because I thought I'd get into trouble. I have a very loving and patient husband but I feel so awkward being intimate. I feel like I never want anyone to touch me again. He knows all about my past and wants to support me but I can't seem to break down these barriers. I'm on antidepressants for post natal depression which I suffered after having both of our children. I feel like I'm constantly trying to climb out of a black hole and I'm really exhausted. I'd love any advice. Thank you for reading this.

SandyJG FEELING OVER-WHELMED
  • replies: 2

I have never posted in here before. No-one understands why I get over-whelmed at times and why I cannot cope with noise. I do volunteer work and really love it; it has really helped with my depression/trauma/PSTD. But sometimes when it gets busy or t... View more

I have never posted in here before. No-one understands why I get over-whelmed at times and why I cannot cope with noise. I do volunteer work and really love it; it has really helped with my depression/trauma/PSTD. But sometimes when it gets busy or there is a lot of noise in the office. I find I have to go outside for awhile, get some fresh air then return. Through where I am working I have beenseeing a Trauma Counselor, and at my next appointment with her this is something I am going to really go in depth with her about. I happened to mention at work yesterday how I cannot even listen to music these days, because it brings back bad memories of the past (I did not mention that, just said I cannot cope with noise) and of course no-one understood this. How can any human being say I do not like music etc. ?? But this is part of my past which I am slowly trying to deal with. When I began this volunteer job 4 months ago, it meant there I was now going to be around people, something else that was new for me. I had not worked for a few years, and now here I was with a group of people and I had to learn the art of conversation again, but at the same time, I was able to use skills I had to use for a long time (typing etc.) which I love. Fear if failure is something I am also trying to deal with, plus lots of other fears, which I will not go into. But as this post is about Feeling Over-Whelmed, I guess I have now put this down in writing and that is good for me. Thank you for letting me post in here. [[Oh also, when people (e.g. counselors) ask you if you ever think about suicide, I wonder how many people tell the truth.]]

Tylov12 Having to face the man who sexually assaulted me 5 years ago
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone. I apologise in advance for the mammoth post and info. A number of years ago i was sexually assualted by an unknown male...5 years ago insaw this male working somewhere (i believe he was working there)that i had to deal with on a regular ... View more

Hi everyone. I apologise in advance for the mammoth post and info. A number of years ago i was sexually assualted by an unknown male...5 years ago insaw this male working somewhere (i believe he was working there)that i had to deal with on a regular basis...so basically for the past 5 years i have been anxious..barely sleep when i do i have nightmares or vivid dreams and become quite confused when dealing with the place i believe he works. I fell like i should have gotten "over it" by now..i feel like what happened to me isnt as big a deal as others yet it is affecting my life in so many aspects. I only recently started seeing a gp..prior to that i thought i was stupid to see them and i didnt want to explain my story again and again. But this gp who i broke down with and the clinic as a whole..humiliated me..i felt stupid and belittled..now im to scared to find another and tell them my story. I feel so lost scared and alone. Because of him im now being punished..because of him i get so confused i dont no if im coming or going...i dont no what to do.

girlleastlikely Family member inadvertently triggering PTSD episode (possible trigger warning)
  • replies: 1

Hi all, joined tonight to ask for some guidance. I've bee mostly able to avoid what I suppose is a trigger to a sexual assault I experienced about fifteen years ago. The sound of someone smacking their wet lips/eating food with their mouth open sends... View more

Hi all, joined tonight to ask for some guidance. I've bee mostly able to avoid what I suppose is a trigger to a sexual assault I experienced about fifteen years ago. The sound of someone smacking their wet lips/eating food with their mouth open sends me back to the painful experience. I have shared it with two female friends and with my family. The odd moment of enthusiastic eating will just stop me, I feel kind of locked in my body for a second and it might just turn me off my food. If it's continuous, I lock in completely and start having a very internalised panic attack. And when I can move, I gather myself and I withdraw. About three years ago, my mature father (heading towards his elderly years) began smacking all his food very loudly. As a family, we all joked at his rude table manners. It abated. He now doesn't care, and eats with noisy abandon. After a while of avoiding meals together I picked a quiet time to ask if his half denture was giving him trouble, or if he needed a new pair. He said they were fine, he was just old and didn't care any more about table manners. I politely reminded him that I am actually triggered by his enthusiastic eating, and if he could just close his mouth while eating I'd appreciate it. He still doesn't. He might try for a minute, but that's about it. So much of our family time is based around food. I'm a chef, we have always all loved to eat together, but I keep having to withdraw. When I'm triggered, I either slink away from the table which looks rude, or if I explain why I'm leaving, he expresses guilt and shame. I feel guilt at asking him to curtail, his eating pleasure, even though it was him and my mum that taught us how very rude it was to eat with your mouth open. So. I feel stuck. I'm frustrated I have to both constantly ask him to be considerate and that I have to ask him to alter his behaviour. I know he hates 'being associated' with my assault experience, though clearly not enough to alter his behaviour. Any guidance or similar experience where a loved one is actually triggering you?

CarlaSurvivor PTSD anxiety and now add grieving
  • replies: 2

Hi All, i suffer from ptsd and anxiety I recently lost my mum after a short battle with cancer I am finding my anxiety is playing up. I am not depressed as such but feeling a lot of sadness because my mum passed away the day to day tasks are a strugg... View more

Hi All, i suffer from ptsd and anxiety I recently lost my mum after a short battle with cancer I am finding my anxiety is playing up. I am not depressed as such but feeling a lot of sadness because my mum passed away the day to day tasks are a struggle at times and I feel like I am lazy. how do I get myself out of this feeling and back to doing the things I love again ?? thank u

Flicka Daughter and PTSD
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I am a mum trying to support my young adult daughter who had an unfortunate experience with a client threatening to kill her and a fellow co-worker. This chap was very violent in his words and coming down off Meth. My daughter has since ... View more

Hi everyone, I am a mum trying to support my young adult daughter who had an unfortunate experience with a client threatening to kill her and a fellow co-worker. This chap was very violent in his words and coming down off Meth. My daughter has since had to go on Workers Comp and formally been diagnosed as having PTSD by two (2) Psychologists and due to an non-supportive employer who after several previous incidences didn't implement any changes to the office environment which could've prevented further issues. The Insurance company is now trying to push my daughter back into the workforce despite her continuing to have night terrors, anxiety and a real fear for her life in a mid size town. She is now on anti-depressants and won't go anywhere without someone close by. She has fortnightly psychology sessions and visits her GP fortnightly. The insurance company are now requesting to be present at the next GP session to discuss going back to work which I believe is not appropriate. Her partner and I are trying our best to support her however as we aren't mental health workers it's hard to know what is right and what isn't. The employer has made no contact with her since the incident not even to see how she is travelling and there are currently 5 other staff members on workers comp for similar incidences. I would really appreciate any words of wisdom or advise as to how we can deal with the pushy insurance company and also does anyone happen to know of any forward thinking ideas that myself and her partner could use to support her more? We think it is way too soon for my daughter to consider going back to any form of employment atleast until she can actually leave the house by herself and venture out to the shops which currently is a major block. Cheers

toots74 how do i stop the fear
  • replies: 2

HI im new here just joined i get bad anxiety as i was severley bashed by a man and he said was going to kill me i was supposed to marry 9nov 2014.im on centrelink payments i also suffer from severe depression in which ive struggled since my early 30s... View more

HI im new here just joined i get bad anxiety as i was severley bashed by a man and he said was going to kill me i was supposed to marry 9nov 2014.im on centrelink payments i also suffer from severe depression in which ive struggled since my early 30s im now just over 40.. anyway ever since the dreaded trip i find it hard to be around too many people i get nervous if im in a line like the post office the other day when theres a man standing behind me and hes less than a few feet away get nervous and jittery but i make myself stay there by the time i reach the counter im shaking i find it hard to be in a car with a stranger for example my good car broke down so i was going to purchase a cheap one for time being so the man who was selling the cheap car came and picked me up in which i had no dramas until we were a few kms away from my home i started shaking was nervous i was telling him not to take offence to my nervousness and was explaining why i was like i was by the time we had gotten to where the little car was i felt that anxious i felt like i was going to vomit it took me a good ten mins to calm myself down when i was out of the car with him.I havent had any intentions and im petrified of being close to a man even in a sexual way does anyone have any idea on how to overcome this? ive pretty much had emotional trauma since childhood and ive coped with everything until this it really gets too me

ladygrey UPDATE: Opinions on whether this is emotional abuse
  • replies: 23

Hi there.First post, i'm looking for opinions/advice on whether my boyfriend's behavior is emotionally abusive.Full disclosure: I've been in a previous emotionally abusive relationship and quite recently I kissed a stranger at a bar, after a number o... View more

Hi there.First post, i'm looking for opinions/advice on whether my boyfriend's behavior is emotionally abusive.Full disclosure: I've been in a previous emotionally abusive relationship and quite recently I kissed a stranger at a bar, after a number of unpleasant events with my boyfriend - immediately fessed up, hasn't happened before or since.Prior to the infidelity, he:- walked out midway through a dinner after I refused to move in (approx 6 months in) and wouldn't talk to me for a week.- is extremely critical of how I do things around the house (cleaning, cooking etc) and regularly brings this up as a joke in front of my and his friends- often does things that physically hurt me as a joke- has significant road rage, chasing down cars that have cut him off, screaming EXTREME profanities. If I say this frightens me he will refuse to talk to me and/or frequently glare at me.- blames me for minor things that occur. On a holiday we had to walk from a ferry to our hire car and we ran into a wall that blocked us off. Threw the bag and swore at me-often suggests I look chubby or I smell as a joke- gets extremely angry if I dress "too nicely" because of how it makes him "look stupid" and questions why i've done it.After the inifidelity now, he:- gets angry when I drink or go out with platonic male friends. Says he is never going to tell me "what to do" but then tells me that i'll only embarrass myself or hurt him so I may as well not do it/he doesn't like it.- tells me I am "too fragile" to handle basic life tasks without "having a breakdown"- constantly brings up the infidelity - usually in the middle of the night, he wakes me up - and tells me he's anxious and angry, but when I suggest solutions (counsellors etc), he tells me there's no point because i'm the cause of his problems anyway.These are all examples, though there is more. These normally happen once every three or four days, and afterwards he's extremely loving, caring, and tells me how good he is for 'looking after me'.Also as a side note, I have anxiety, depression and ocd.Just wanted some opinions. Thanks for your help

Luna_Jayne Where do i start first? Worried partner. (trigger warning: family violence)
  • replies: 2

I've been with my partner for 9 years now and we have two small children. I noticed after about a year that he had a hard time dealing with us going out together, the night would always end up with him in a punch up with random people that he would e... View more

I've been with my partner for 9 years now and we have two small children. I noticed after about a year that he had a hard time dealing with us going out together, the night would always end up with him in a punch up with random people that he would encounter throughout the night. Him handling jealously sober was easy, he'd laugh or just give a evil eye and move on. I know it worried him, he's very possessive of me and our children but he could control himself. Fast forward a few years now and we have one child, almost 2 and I'm pregnant with another. We go to one of our good friends Daughters Birthday parties, yet again he spends most of the day drinking beer. It's getting late, I'm tired and I'm loaded up with a pram, nappy bag etc etc and I stumble and yell out to him to help me. It was like I just asked him to sacrifice himself on a cross. He exploded, he was screaming at me all these horrible things, not making any sense. Our friends got in between us and tried to calm him down, so he turned on them. Threating to kill them, he got into some horrible details about how he would kill both them and me. I jumped in the car with my child, he approached the car, so I locked the doors he punched the windscreen and once he moved I took off. Now that was about 3 years into our relationship, and he probably has incidents very similar to this about 5 times a year. Sometimes involving me, other times I don't even have to be around for him to start. I believe he has suffered with anxiety most of his life, but as time is going on I believe depression has snuck in there and a good friend who is in the medical field believes he shows signs of Bipolar 2. I could write a book with the amount of crazy stories I have involving chainsaws and all sorts of other things. When he gets manic, his eyes glaze over and it's like he is dead inside, like he can't even see me or whoever is at the end of his pointing finger. When he drinks, which he uses it to self medicate, he scares me. Sober, I've never been afraid of him. Long story short, I need to know what's next? I wrote him a 3 page letter to him last night, he responded this morning & finally admitted that he has a problem.. But what is the first step he should take. Local GP? and should I help him, or let him do it himself?. Most of my friends don't think he's is capable of change. But I'm not ready to give up on him, he is the father to my Children. My Best friend. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Daz06 Losing my mind (trigger warning: child sexual abuse)
  • replies: 2

Im losing my mind, my anxiety has gone to a whole new level, cant think straight, forgetting things names times places, just sad withdrawn cant see the way forward or dont want to go forward, can't see a way forward. 4 year's ago we witness our then ... View more

Im losing my mind, my anxiety has gone to a whole new level, cant think straight, forgetting things names times places, just sad withdrawn cant see the way forward or dont want to go forward, can't see a way forward. 4 year's ago we witness our then 4 year old boy being sexually assulted, I went into severe depression, i made a monumental mistake at work which led to a criminal conviction, we lost our house and savings because I was not strong enough to cope, now we have to go to Brisbane for mediation to resolve my sons pending court case, this has reignited severe depression &severe anxiety im just not coping i can feel myself withdrawing more each day, knowing that I have to face all the details of this horrible situation.