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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Keep_on_running Keep moving forward!
  • replies: 6

Someone else is always worse off than me I keep telling myself. You see it every day in the news! I think I am typing this as it helps me clear my mind somewhat. I am 41 years old now, have 3 beautiful boys, but sadly I have had to say goodbye to one... View more

Someone else is always worse off than me I keep telling myself. You see it every day in the news! I think I am typing this as it helps me clear my mind somewhat. I am 41 years old now, have 3 beautiful boys, but sadly I have had to say goodbye to one child a number of years ago, and then goodbye to my wife almost 2 and a half years ago. We lost her in the most tragic of circumstances while on a family getaway. Such a beautiful, healthy young woman with nothing but love for life and for her family and friends. We tried to keep her alive, doctors, nurses and paramedics were and are amazing, and they truly don't get the recognition they deserve. I have seen things I never wanted to see, made decisions I have never wanted to make. Its strange you know. People have often said that they don't know how I have dealt with things or how I have coped. The true reason is, what alternative is there? You either cope and maybe there will be days ahead where something happens and it makes you smile or laugh, or your kids make you so proud, or simply the warm sun shines on your face and you realise there is much to look forward to. There is no alternative but to cope. Try and love life I say!

beb7 Trigger warning: Hold up situation + suicide of a friend.
  • replies: 5

Hi all I am a 23 year old girl with some issues. My Ptsd started after a horrible situation at work.I am a cashier and I was going about my normal day. It was busier than usual. I turned around and a man was standing next to me with a gun at my hip. ... View more

Hi all I am a 23 year old girl with some issues. My Ptsd started after a horrible situation at work.I am a cashier and I was going about my normal day. It was busier than usual. I turned around and a man was standing next to me with a gun at my hip. I looked at him so confused and then down at the gun. He said to me "I am not f**king around, open the till" So I did and he grabbed the money and ran out. Hardly anyone noticed what had happened. I was so scared I almost wet myself. I lent over my till and cried. I had heaps of support, my family and my amazing boyfriend are so good with it, but I found it hard getting back to work. They started docking my pays and I had to go back. Councillors didnt seem to help much so I went without. In the middle of last year one of my friends commited suicide. I find this very hard to talk about because it literally breaks my heart. He was a kind gentle soul, and I think about him every single day. I am a wreck, its been a year since the hold up and 6 months since my friend left this earth. I am hurting still. I am very clingy with my family and boyfriend. I dont go out much/only if i have too. I have put on weight which I cannot stand. I have no motivation to do anything. I cry sometimes for no reason and I am always scared. I cant even get up at night to go to the toilet because I am so petrified of being alone in the dark. If my dog barks, I flip out. I will stare out the window for like half an hour. Honestly I feel as though work just wanted me back asap, how do people put a time frame on someone who is healing from these things. I am just struggling. With sleep, with work, with myself. I am getting help now but im still at the same work place, I really just don't want to be there. I am so sorry for rambling on, just any tips on how to cope would be more than appreciated xx

Toolate I dont count.
  • replies: 2

I just want some advice as to who i should see. I dont feel comfortable seeing my family doctor, but I need help. Typing is so easy, but I probably wont post , but I was abused at 8. Hid it for many years in my mind locker. Now I've turned 50 and its... View more

I just want some advice as to who i should see. I dont feel comfortable seeing my family doctor, but I need help. Typing is so easy, but I probably wont post , but I was abused at 8. Hid it for many years in my mind locker. Now I've turned 50 and its breaking at the seams. Affecting my life and family. Im self medicating but I am suffering. Im on the way down. Is there a proffession that doesn't need referrals ? That could help ? I dont know. I have a wife and 6 kids and im letting them down daily. I am self employed so work every day and i am struggling mentally but hiding behind what everyone believes is a happy, funny family man. I have no joy in me. No excitement nor sadness. I am dead inside. I find it hard to talk so if anyone knows what route I should take I would appreciate it. Thank you. Im not gonna post this am I?

KyleL2 *trigger warning, sexual content*. work stress, family life stress, recovering addict stress. how do i manage it
  • replies: 2

*trigger warning, sexual content* so i have been pretty stressed the past month with some work place incidents i was involved with, 3 pretty crappy things have happend, one being just two nights ago when my machine i was working on (on rail) slid dow... View more

*trigger warning, sexual content* so i have been pretty stressed the past month with some work place incidents i was involved with, 3 pretty crappy things have happend, one being just two nights ago when my machine i was working on (on rail) slid down an incline and smashed into the wind shield of the other truck. it really just hit the nail on the head with how i've already been feeling at work atm. im 6 months clean from quitting all social media, as it was taking over my life, i was a massive narcissist and i was focusing on that more than i was with my family. so im managing not being on there anymore which is great, also a recovering from sexual addiction, " whatever the hell that is anyway" but basically i was spending more time doing that then with my own wife which was taking its toll on our relationship, but i have given it away, one or two relapses but still focused on the bigger picture. the route of my problem with sexual pleasure is, that was my "drug" of choice to mask the pain of what i'm going through with life, stress, whatever you want to call it, i always felt better after a good "you know what" . anyway with all this crap going on at work i have just felt depressed, anxious and stressed out big time and its making me slip into bad habits, which i'm fighting with all my might mind you to keep on board, but its really messing my head up. i relocated states so i have no friends where i am now, so i have no other outlet, sometimes my wife really doesn't understand. shes i guess a "tough woman' and i'm a pretty vulnerable bloke at times, no hard edge about me, i let my feelings over come me sometimes but that's how i've always been. anyway enough of my rant, already feeling a bit more 'Free" after writing this, hope to hear back from some similar stories, take care and stay safe. cheers.

Empathic Alcohol addiction and emotional abuse
  • replies: 9

Well here I am in the midst of trying to rebuild my marriage after discovering my husbands depression had spiralled into alcohol, medication and porn addiction. I have trolled the internet for answers and help and have come upon the subject of emotio... View more

Well here I am in the midst of trying to rebuild my marriage after discovering my husbands depression had spiralled into alcohol, medication and porn addiction. I have trolled the internet for answers and help and have come upon the subject of emotional abuse. All sites deal with the more severe aspects but what if the emotional abuse has been so subtle its almost undetectable? Its only been through reading up that I realise I have been a victim. Firstly, when he was home he pretty much ignored me then would turn up with flowers or buy me something expensive. He constantly made jokes about everything I said or did. If we were out he would ignore me and if I approached him or found ourselves face to face he'd laugh and say "you still here?" If I watched one of my TV programs he'd sit there through the whole thing making silly comments until I turned it off then he'd act all hurt and tell me he was only joking. Anything I wanted to do was quickly discarded in favour of an activity he preferred. While he was away from home he would send messages often with a derogatory pet name for me (boofhead was his favourite) He would ignore my requests to help with anything, never consider my feelings in decisions he made and made light of our situation when I tried to talk about his obvious alcohol abuse. Its taken me a lot to realise and admit to myself that I am a victim of emotional abuse and now I have yet another thing to add to the very long list of stuff for me to work through. Is there any hope at all?

irish17 PTSD , DEPRESSION AND ALCOHOLISM
  • replies: 5

hello. I'm new to this sharing. My partner was diagnosed with chronic PTSD and depression approx 15 years ago which resulted in medical discharge from police force. had many psychologist sessions and was going sort of ok for a couple of years but now... View more

hello. I'm new to this sharing. My partner was diagnosed with chronic PTSD and depression approx 15 years ago which resulted in medical discharge from police force. had many psychologist sessions and was going sort of ok for a couple of years but now hugely depends on alcohol this drinking has escalated to daily from waking up till going to bed at night. its effecting our family terribly. I've tried many ways to try and help including rehab, promises, threats, closing my eyes, ignorance and so on and so on. I just dont know where to go from here. he falls over, injures himself and our destroys our home, not on purpose though he is such a kind and caring person but the depression and alcohol are destroying him

Hidden_secrets Guilt for not going to the police *TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE*
  • replies: 6

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse My first memory was my father walking into the lounge picking up my older sister and taking her to the bedroom while my sister screamed she was 4 i was 3 our mum had just went to the store to get milk.. As you can imagin... View more

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse My first memory was my father walking into the lounge picking up my older sister and taking her to the bedroom while my sister screamed she was 4 i was 3 our mum had just went to the store to get milk.. As you can imagine what was happening it was horrible one day mum walked in and saw what happened she packed our bags took us to our nans she went to the police but they told her to wait until we were older because they thought we were to young to be in court, at that point mum contacted dhs and they helped us with short term therapy and legal help for custody battles. But it didnt help we moved from house to house and dad always found us, but more issues had started when i was 4 my eldest brother 9 years older made me his target as well. threatening me saying if i dont submit he would use my younger sister instead(2) being young and afraid i didnt know what to do knowing i hated what was happening and how wrong it was but to scared to tell my mum, would she believe me? Well it turns my silence was for nothing she found him raping my sister at the age of 6 though i didnt find this out until years passed, she sent my brother to counseling and made him live with nan .. So at age 8 i was free, well at least until 13 when my brother came back i understand my mum thought he was better after years of counselling. nobody wants to believe their child is a monster. I was again ashamed and scared again constant disgust not wanting to admit what happened in fear of being told im lying or worse being told its my fault. At 16 my brother left again and a few months later my stepdad called me a lazy asshole like my bro and i broke down saying id never be like that monster when my mum came home she made me talk to her explain of course she cried saying sorry she didnt know and explained how she found him and sent him to counseling and she didnt know it was happening to me at all, and that she would have got me help. from that day none of my family talk to him and that day i ran away looking for a place with no memories now at 19 im engaged i have a great relationship with both my mum and other siblings but i also have a son hes 7 weeks old tomorrow and i feel constant guilt knowing that those vile humans are out there and im not trying to stop them cause im to afraid to see them in court i am guilty for not saving other kids for not protecting my own, i dont know what to do

Stompy I am 30 and there is no hope.
  • replies: 8

I have been depressed since I was a baby. My parents were both violent and neglected me as long as I remember. My mother was depressed enough to ask me to kill her when I was 10. She bit me up and screamed at me since I was 5. I failed as a student. ... View more

I have been depressed since I was a baby. My parents were both violent and neglected me as long as I remember. My mother was depressed enough to ask me to kill her when I was 10. She bit me up and screamed at me since I was 5. I failed as a student. People around me think I am intelligent but lazy and not motivated. I couldn't stay in workforce due to my poor English (I moved to Australia from South Korea when I was 16)... I spent 10 years at university but couldn't even get a single degree (I kept skipping classes) Now I am 30 and I failed all job interviews. I want to study Physics at university but I am afraid to even start. I hardly get out of bed these days. I feel sorry for my husband... he deserves better. I cannot live like this anymore.

startingnew 16th october-BLUE KNOT DAY
  • replies: 4

Hello everyone across my travels i have found a day dedicated in uniting victims of childhood abuse. This may be psycholgical emotional physical or sexual. This includes witnessing these things such as domestic violence. Blue Knot Day is Blue Knot Fo... View more

Hello everyone across my travels i have found a day dedicated in uniting victims of childhood abuse. This may be psycholgical emotional physical or sexual. This includes witnessing these things such as domestic violence. Blue Knot Day is Blue Knot Foundation's national awareness day celebrated in October every year. This year it will be held on Monday 16 October. On this day, we ask all Australians to unite in support of the 5 million Australian adult survivors of childhood abuse. The theme of Blue Knot Day 2017 is “Unite in Support of Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma”,

SCI_snowbunny Broken neck vs broken heart
  • replies: 2

I broke my neck in a snowboarding accident 6 months ago. I damaged several vertebrae and have plates and titanium screws fused into my spine using a bone graft from my hip. To look at me you wouldn't even know, unless you saw my scars or my skeleton ... View more

I broke my neck in a snowboarding accident 6 months ago. I damaged several vertebrae and have plates and titanium screws fused into my spine using a bone graft from my hip. To look at me you wouldn't even know, unless you saw my scars or my skeleton on my CT scans. My heart and spirit also broke that day. With the help of my family and friends I am slowly building my strength back up but I feel like a lesser version of myself. I was told not to snowboard for a year, if ever. Bittersweet is the best word to describe it. I am so lucky. My doctors said I tempted fate. Lucky to be alive, lucky to be walking. For 5 months I was a ticking time bomb. 24 hours changed and saved my life forever. Some days I look at my scars with pride and other days I want to scream. I feel weak, like my body let me down. How could I not know I had broken my back?! I am scared to do simple things that I didn't even question before. Every twinge or ache takes me right back. Seeing myself in a neckbrace in ICU is an image I will never forget. The physical pain is going, I will always feel it to one extent or another but it's the emotional scars that are holding me back...