PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Grace_Olivia Am I a fraud?
  • replies: 2

I have recently come to the realisation that I am a victim of sexual assault. That being said, I feel like a fraud for saying that as I have probably gotten off relatively unscathed in the grand scheme of things, but I still haven't been able to eat ... View more

I have recently come to the realisation that I am a victim of sexual assault. That being said, I feel like a fraud for saying that as I have probably gotten off relatively unscathed in the grand scheme of things, but I still haven't been able to eat all day. I've started writing this post a number of times now but can't seem to articulate what I'm thinking correctly. I was in a "sexual agreement" lets just call it with two different guys at two different times, one after the other. I have since come to acknowledge that I was emotionally abused by both men, and sexually coerced by both men as well. I still can't figure out if what happened to me counts as sexual assault (as we were in a sexual relationship at the time) and am still struggling to come to terms with what that means. 2 out of the 3 people I have asked about this have minimised what happened and told me to move on. I'm just trying to figure out if that is in fact what I should do as I'm overreacting, or if in fact it's as complicated as I feel. Thanks Grace

sparkling_lady wife living with husband with complex PTSD
  • replies: 6

Is there anyone out there who is in the same situation as me. My husband was a train driver and with all the fatalities he has suffered from he now has PTSD along with neurological problems. I would like to talk to someone who is a support person for... View more

Is there anyone out there who is in the same situation as me. My husband was a train driver and with all the fatalities he has suffered from he now has PTSD along with neurological problems. I would like to talk to someone who is a support person for a person with PTSD preferably another train driver partner. No offence to any other profession or professional who has PTSD but at the moment i can only deal with someone who has experienced the "same" situation as me. Im new to this so i apologise in advance if i have offended anyone- that is not my intention but i do read feedbacks from everyone that has already posted. thank you for your help sparkling lady

darkbetty Torn
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone, My sister was raped at the beginning of the year and is in a difficult place right now. There is a decision to be made today and she is really struggling with what direction she should make. One part of her wants to peruse charges and th... View more

Hi Everyone, My sister was raped at the beginning of the year and is in a difficult place right now. There is a decision to be made today and she is really struggling with what direction she should make. One part of her wants to peruse charges and the other part of her doesn’t want to be responsible for ruining someone’s life with a criminal record. She is truly the most kind hearted selfless girl and it pains me to see her in so much grief. It has also had a great impact on my family. My parents have been with her every step of the way, she has our entire support as a family unit. I am worried about my father who is showing increasingly worrisome behaviour. I can only imagine how traumatic it must be to watch your child go through such an ordeal. My mother has buried her head in distractions. I feel for them and feel very helpless. On top of this, I was sexually assaulted a few years ago by someone I considered a close friend and it really ruined a lot of things in my life. This whole situation has triggered a lot of emotional memories for me, I was not able to speak up the way my sibling has been able to due to the person being a manager at my work place and the fear of losing my job. I was foolish and continued to see this person later down the track as I was just a wreck and alone and so very confused by my life as I once knew it falling apart. I feel like I am going through this again with my sister but at a far greater level. As now my whole family is going through the trauma and watching someone we care so greatly about in so much agony that we cannot fix. All I can do is let her know that she is supported, that I love her and that there is no right or wrong way of processing this. But when it comes to my parents, how do I support them. They have been through so much and been pillars of strength for my brother my sister and I. I worry so much about them and just want to see them living happily at this stage of their lives. They deserve it. I feel exhausted.

MGee Single Mum Struggling to cope [Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse]
  • replies: 10

Hi I’m a single parent to a 3.5 year old girl. I left her Narcissistic Father im WAS when she was 2.5 months old to free us from his emotional, psychological, financial and verbal abuse when it started to get physical and I was concerned he would rap... View more

Hi I’m a single parent to a 3.5 year old girl. I left her Narcissistic Father im WAS when she was 2.5 months old to free us from his emotional, psychological, financial and verbal abuse when it started to get physical and I was concerned he would rape me. I moved back to SA where my family are from, but couldn’t get childcare and hence couldn’t work. I always dreamed of living back in QLD, where I spent 7 years and have many work connections. I also could get childcare right away. I don’t regret moving. I love QLD and I’m working. What’s hard is being a single parent with no suppprt and then dealing with a child who regresses in her toileting (5-6 accidents a day) post spending time with her Father. The Father doesn’t care, the family court didn’t care and the Independent Children’s Lawyer didn’t care. I saw my GP today and I present well. It’s the mornings and nights with my Daughter when she’s constantly not listening and having accidents that I sit on the floor and cry. I don’t drink and exercise is part of my job, that’s what’s helped me not give her up when I feel like I have had no time for myself these past 3.5 years. It’s just compounded by her out of character behaviour post visit. I look on the positive side, try and get enough sleep etc...but I am getting worn out. Court is now over after 2.5 years and I tell myself that things will get better. But I don’t think I actually believe it. Does anyone co parent with a Narcissist? Do you know where I could get help for my Daughter and I so we don’t turn on each other? Thank you x

Little_B Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • replies: 2

I've been experiencing signs of PTSD over the past month or two stemming from when I was a child and had a ver traumatic childhood. Forms of emotional and physical absue, separation from a parent and I never had a stable homelife wherever I was. My m... View more

I've been experiencing signs of PTSD over the past month or two stemming from when I was a child and had a ver traumatic childhood. Forms of emotional and physical absue, separation from a parent and I never had a stable homelife wherever I was. My mum was also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar and anxiety when I was 20, after she had been treated with severe depression since she was 16. This misdiagnosis caused further trauma to myself as I had to deal with a lot growing up and after she was diagnosed properly I then cared for her whilst studying full time at uni and I was also in a very abusive relationship. I have mentally blocked out things from what happened to me when I was a child, however, recently I have been getting flashbacks and nightmares. I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety and irrational thinking. It's affecting so many things in my life and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose them. Mainly my relationship with my wonderful partner. I tend to push people away and not let people in when I'm experiencing anxiety or negative thoughts as I've always had to look after myself and now I'm so worried that any partner no longer feels the same way about me. He also suffers from mental health problems and I support him through that. He had a bad episode early last month and I helped him through a lot of it. I've never been treated for any kind of mental health problems but I'm going to see my doctor this week to see if we can set up some kind of counselling or perhaps a mild form of medication as I would rather take on the PTSD using therapies and not rely on medication. I'm usually a highly positive person but I've had quite a lot of worries and events in my life happen over the past 8 months and I think the excess stress is what has triggered things. if anyone can offer me some advice that would be amazing. Thank you

Br1sbaneg1rl Confused :(
  • replies: 12

Hi, I’m really struggling at the moment. My story; I have recently broken up with my partner, I love him but he’s said and done things recently which have really hurt me. We had been together a year, the first few months were bliss and then he starte... View more

Hi, I’m really struggling at the moment. My story; I have recently broken up with my partner, I love him but he’s said and done things recently which have really hurt me. We had been together a year, the first few months were bliss and then he started to change, if I said the wrong thing he would flat out ignore me like he was teaching me a lesson, withhold sex and tell me I shouldn’t have said or done this or that. He had always been a little possessive but I took it as though he just really loved me, he has no friends, and isn’t close to his family so I was the only one who he could rely on. He’d often try and make me feel guilty or change plans if I made them with my friends or family and if I didn’t, he’d use it against me to further guilt me. It felt quite innocent until he started losing control of his temper, the look of anger would consume his face and eyes and then he’d hit something, punch something or hit his head against the wall. I’ve never been frightened like that before, I didn’t know that side of him existed and every time he would tell me that I drove him to do it because I wouldn’t shut up or I’d say something to trigger him. I didn’t speak with anyone until only recently but she mentioned that he sounded like a narcissist and I was being emotionally abused. The man I fell in love with was a sweetheart. I had been going through a tough time for months and it was becoming so overwhelming that I lost my appetite, had trouble sleeping and would become nauseas eventually vomiting. Sometimes a few times each night for a period of days. My partner became aware of this and asked if I was pregnant. I told him no, he’d asked me to get an implant in my arm which I had very early into the relationship. A couple of days after we had an argument and he told me if I fell pregnant then he would expect me to have an abortion and if I didn’t, he would most like resent me and the baby. I was devastated that he could say such a thing, I couldn’t breath I was so upset and all he just walked away and laid on the couch. He blames everything on me and will not accept any responsibility. I would break down in front of him and he would roll his eyes. What I’m struggling with most right now is that it feels like I had been sleeping next to someone I didn’t know for a year and I feel like he tricked me. I don’t know if he is a narcissist or if this is emotional abuse but this doesn’t feel like just a break up, I feel like something has been taken from me.

PTSDone_with_this My Story
  • replies: 4

I found this today, currently crying under my blankets and decided to share. for the last two years I’ve been dealing with a mental break, and have been diagnosed with PTSD My step father was Physically, Mentally and emotionally abusive as was my sis... View more

I found this today, currently crying under my blankets and decided to share. for the last two years I’ve been dealing with a mental break, and have been diagnosed with PTSD My step father was Physically, Mentally and emotionally abusive as was my sister, my mother was indifferent and didn’t really care. Since I was four I’ve feared for my life, I’m currently living with my sister after running away from my parents and I’m finding life with her just as hard as it was when we were children, she treats me like a servant because I fear her then makes me feel guilty if I speak out of turn. My journey into recovery has just begun and I’m terrified and feel alone and outnumbered. Does anyone have any tips for me on dealing with guilt, self depreciation and living with an abuser? thank you so much

TealRibbon Surviving trauma therapy
  • replies: 8

Hi, I’m new here. I was hoping to find some people who I can share with and support each other on the way. I have a history of childhood sexual abuse and have been in therapy for years and a few times admitted to hospital. My therapy at the moment is... View more

Hi, I’m new here. I was hoping to find some people who I can share with and support each other on the way. I have a history of childhood sexual abuse and have been in therapy for years and a few times admitted to hospital. My therapy at the moment is really overwhelming and leaves me confused and numb a lot and I was hoping to find people here who know what I’m talking about. I don’t want to share any more details about my abuse, it’s more about helping each other in be here and now. Thank you.

Lici My PTSD story *trigger warning: child abuse, physical violence, domestic abuse*
  • replies: 41

Hi all, I've been thinking about starting this thread for a day or so now, I'm hoping that my story may help others in their PTSD journey, and maybe myself too. I was physically and emotionally/verbally abused throughout my childhood by my brother, m... View more

Hi all, I've been thinking about starting this thread for a day or so now, I'm hoping that my story may help others in their PTSD journey, and maybe myself too. I was physically and emotionally/verbally abused throughout my childhood by my brother, mother and stepfather. I grew up in a loveless environment and learnt from an early age that being as invisible as possible was the only way to survive. Once I started high school, the abuse at home was added to by bullying at school and when puberty hit that's when my mental health issues started to really show. When I was 16, my stepfather locked my dog up in a tiny corner of the back yard and I couldn't get over to feed him so my mum gave him away. When my stepdad got home that night, I yelled at him and instead of hutting me like he usually would, he packed his bags and left. My mum blamed me and kicked me out of home. I lived on the streets for a few months before moving into a youth home. I struggled through life for a few years thinking that no-one understood me or loved me etc. I met a boy and we moved in together when I was 18. It was through him that I met D (not her real name). D and I became like sisters. I had never had such a close friend and I had never felt happier in my life. After a few years my relationship broke down and so did D's. We helped each other through our breakups and she introduced me to some friends of hers. We started going nightclubbing as a group and things started looking up again. That's when things changed forever. One night in 2000 D and the girls turned up at my home. They were angry and forced their way into my house. For three hours they beat me up and broke my jaw. D then took everything of sentimental value to me and threatened to harm my 3yr old brother and 6yr old niece if I went to the police. I went to the hospital and called my mum. I told her what happened and then I called the police. I lied to them at first. I was so scared. After spending three days in the hospital I went back to my mum's place. I could no longer enter the house I had lived in for years without having panic attacks. After a while I met another man and we ended up living together. He had BPD and I wasn't equipped to deal with it. He became abusive and I ended up moving out. I was put into a housing trust unit and that's when I became agoraphobic. I hadn't received the PTSD diagnosis yet and for a few years locked myself away. There's a happy ending to this, but I'm out of room.

Wrieghn Begin Again: Starting again after abuse
  • replies: 3

My story started when, after suffering depression and an eating disorder, i was raped at 17. It then happened again at 19. I was also sexually harassed In a scary way at various jobs. When i was 20 I ended up getting into a relationship with an abusi... View more

My story started when, after suffering depression and an eating disorder, i was raped at 17. It then happened again at 19. I was also sexually harassed In a scary way at various jobs. When i was 20 I ended up getting into a relationship with an abusive alcoholic. He wasn't abusive right away, it happened slowly. Over time he became more controlling and verbally abusive, then slowly the physical and sexual abuse started. About 3 years into the relationship I got sick, very sick. My ex would steal my pain medication and was very controlling about me seeking medical care. At one point i was in agony for almost a week before he let me seek care and I ended up needing to be hospitalised for nearly a week. After 4 and a half years i finally managed to leave him but he continued to threaten and harass me. After 7 months of going back and fourth to court I finally got a year long family violence order. That was a month ago. I have since been diagnosed with complex PTSD and after having to leave my studies and work due to stress and abuse related physical illness (which i have been in and out of hospital for 18 times in the past 2 years or so) I find myself starting my adult life all over again at 26. It's hard beginning again but with baggage, not knowing where to start or get help. I guess I will just have to work is out as I go.