PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Algernon Can I get ever over high school?
  • replies: 12

I was chatting with my PT today. We are about the same age, and we were talking about the challenges of bringing up our kids. I can't remember how we got there, but I started sharing some high school memories. It brought up so much. Just before I sta... View more

I was chatting with my PT today. We are about the same age, and we were talking about the challenges of bringing up our kids. I can't remember how we got there, but I started sharing some high school memories. It brought up so much. Just before I started high school I was run over by a car. No one would believe me that I was hurt because I managed to get myself home. I was only 12 years old. My school had a cross-country run. I told my PE teachers that my leg hurt. I even pointed to the jagged red line across my shin. They made me run the race, and it was agony. A few years ago, I went to the doctor because my leg had flared up again. Turned out my leg had been broken in that hit-and-run. I wish it that was the only negative experience, but it wasn't. In my second year of high school, the manual arts teacher laughed as the kids held me down and burned me with soldering irons. The PE teachers were the worst. They encouraged the bullies to attack me in the playground and openly sided with them in class. I had accidentally cut my wrist with a chisel at home. Despite having a doctor's certificate, they made me play volleyball until the stitches burst and I bled. I became very aggressive because I never knew where the next blow would come from. It's taken me years to shed my rage. I think in retrospect, I had PTSD because I lived in fear for those years. I'm calmer now. Next year is a significant anniversary of leaving school. I want to shed my angst. I'm done. They suck, and I want to live. I'm sending this into the void because sometimes you just need to say these things to get them out of you. I apologise if I cause you distress in the accidental reading. B

Chriss cPTSD and anxiety
  • replies: 5

Hi,I'm struggling with cPTSD and am having panic attacks, low mood and anxiety. My partner was an alcoholic for over 10 years and apart from being a nightmare to live with, was verbally abusive to me and my daughter. After I walked out, they gave up.... View more

Hi,I'm struggling with cPTSD and am having panic attacks, low mood and anxiety. My partner was an alcoholic for over 10 years and apart from being a nightmare to live with, was verbally abusive to me and my daughter. After I walked out, they gave up. I have moved back home, but things aren't good. They are like a new person and have really sorted their life out, but I am suffering from small panic attacks in the night and sometimes during the day. We don't share a room yet. Sometimes I am fine when they are around me, but other times I am not. Is this going to stay with me forever or does it improve? I'm really trying to make it work.

starsandmoon Nightmares
  • replies: 6

Content warning: mention of firearms Ok. So there is a topic I constantly and frequently have nightmares about. Well, I have done a bit of work on it and it's not quite as bad as it used to be. I frequently hear random gunshots in my head during in m... View more

Content warning: mention of firearms Ok. So there is a topic I constantly and frequently have nightmares about. Well, I have done a bit of work on it and it's not quite as bad as it used to be. I frequently hear random gunshots in my head during in my sleep. It carries over into waking life. And there was a point where I'd go ballistic if people brought up the topic around me. The strange part is that the only bad experience I've had that is any way gun related was hearing one go off unexpectedly. That was a while back. It just feels disproportionate to react to that so badly. But here we are.

Rach28 Birthday card from abusive family
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone! So yesterday I turned 34. Pretty exciting another year wider. Anyway.. so i had a great day. But... I got a card from my abusive famiky. And it brought up a million emotions. I cried. I felt angry. Everything. Grief all over again. I wan... View more

Hi everyone! So yesterday I turned 34. Pretty exciting another year wider. Anyway.. so i had a great day. But... I got a card from my abusive famiky. And it brought up a million emotions. I cried. I felt angry. Everything. Grief all over again. I wanted to ask what do you think the reason was sending the card? I don't understand honestly. Plus its a huge invasion of privacy and I never actually asked for a card or disclosed my address to them. They have been stalking me for years online and found out somehow. So yeah. Look what are your thoughts guys!? Cause I don't know what to think. Its a strange card with "love bombing" language. I just cant even understand it. After all the abuse they caused - why act innocent.

punk rock warlord Overcoming Panic Disorder.
  • replies: 1

Been suffering with Panic attacks recently. Have suffered with them since I was a teenager. I have chosen to keep off the ale and certainly any drugs - why I thought they would help with my paranoia is beyond me. Anyway I spoke to my psychologist and... View more

Been suffering with Panic attacks recently. Have suffered with them since I was a teenager. I have chosen to keep off the ale and certainly any drugs - why I thought they would help with my paranoia is beyond me. Anyway I spoke to my psychologist and he reminded me that healing from trauma is not a destination it is a lifelong process. You exercise your brain as you would your body in a gym. I know there are quite a number of people on here continuing to suffer, so as an almost 60 year old here is my advice to those like me who feel trapped in mental pain. 1. Dont bottle it up inside - speak to someone about how you feel without guilt or embarrassment. 2. Take advantage of the multitude of resources out there on the internet. Loads of podcasts, websites and audiobooks that will help you develop strategies to overcome your demons. 3. KEEP OFF the ale or any drug that provides only short term relief. Self medicating will only worsen your situation. 4. Get to your doctor sharpish and tell him how you feel. Anti-depressants plus a referral to a psych might be what you need. 5. Try and maintain a healthy lifestyle - exercise and diet are crucial. Meditation is also a great tool to help combat depression and anxiety. 6. You are not alone. There are millions suffering from mental health problems and the number grows each year. Do not be fearful of any stigma attached to mental health.

ScooterCat Struggling to move on
  • replies: 8

(Safe: in my room listening to music) How do you even move on from all the things people have told you as a child? Growing up, my parents weren’t involved in my life. They used to criticise me, say that I’m a bad person, and tell me that I have to do... View more

(Safe: in my room listening to music) How do you even move on from all the things people have told you as a child? Growing up, my parents weren’t involved in my life. They used to criticise me, say that I’m a bad person, and tell me that I have to do certain things to make them happy. They didn’t care to understand or show any empathy whenever I did something wrong. Even something as small as not finishing my dinner or breaking a glass would incite a lot of criticism. They’d ask me things like ‘why are you always like this?’ and ‘why can’t you be more careful?’ They’d make me feel like a bad person and that I could never change. They’d also make me feel like I was responsible for making them happy - like I had to do something in order to please them. If I didn’t do something, like get good grades in class, they’d withhold any form of affection and ask why I didn’t do any better. And then they tried justifying their abuse, saying that I should be grateful that they at least give me the basic necessities, like food and clothing. They said I shouldn’t feel upset because I could have had it worse, which made me doubt my emotions and feel like they weren’t valid. It’s not fair my parents broke my self-esteem. They made me believe I deserved to suffer, like I had to keep hurting myself because I didn’t deserve anything good. I’m angry that they made me feel I could never achieve anything no matter how hard I try. I’m sad that I struggle to even move on in life, while everyone else is in uni and getting jobs. I’m sad that I’m stuck cleaning up the mess they made.Because of them, I never got to have a proper youth. I never got the chance to explore new things or find new people. I kept to myself and pushed people away because I felt no one would ever listen or be there for me. I felt embarrassed for having any emotions, like it was somehow not right to cry whenever my parents abused me. I thought that I was a burden to everyone and that the whole world would be better off without me. It’s hard to move on from these feelings, let alone talk about them. You keep wanting to talk about these things and ask for help, but then some voice tells you ‘you can’t do it’ and ‘no one would understand.’ And so you give up.

DarkQu I don't know what's wrong with me
  • replies: 6

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm always on an emotional roller coaster. I'm new here. I feel like I've reached out to help from GP before and because I have a child that has high level autism I'm just dismissed with not much mental ... View more

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm always on an emotional roller coaster. I'm new here. I feel like I've reached out to help from GP before and because I have a child that has high level autism I'm just dismissed with not much mental help I feel like I'm so alone qu I'm sick to trigger I have angry outburst. I cry a lot. I feel so defeated and so alone. I tried to say that I'm going to be better but I feel like I'm stuck in the same cycle and I want so much better for my kids but I just can't seem to get it together

WishyBee When you can’t avoid your triggers
  • replies: 2

I know that in 24 hours I will have to be at the scene that triggered a trauma response. I’m anticipating that I will be triggered again and that it will add to the current trauma response I am experiencing. Has anyone been in a similar situation or ... View more

I know that in 24 hours I will have to be at the scene that triggered a trauma response. I’m anticipating that I will be triggered again and that it will add to the current trauma response I am experiencing. Has anyone been in a similar situation or had to regularly do something that triggers them?I am concerned that even the most minor thing will send my spiralling. Has this been anyone’s experience?

Guest_10220 Moving forward - slowly , but surely gaining pace.
  • replies: 5

Hello, I am getting better , but have been through the mill . My credentials as a survivor of child hood sexual and physical abuse are there. As is my illness and many , many hospitalisations for mania over 30 years as a result . I saw Psychiatrists ... View more

Hello, I am getting better , but have been through the mill . My credentials as a survivor of child hood sexual and physical abuse are there. As is my illness and many , many hospitalisations for mania over 30 years as a result . I saw Psychiatrists for 13 years , a PTSD Psychologist for 2 years and have been with my current Psychologist for 7 years . So, I have put in the hard yards . SO, I wanted to say - it is possible to become well - even I did . Yes, I am on 80 , webster packed , tablets a week - BUT - people need to know - YOU can get better .

Halecia Too much trauma in 2013-2025
  • replies: 2

Hi, I’ve been through a lot and I’ve a lot of my unwelcome family members tell me that I have no right to feel empowered. Well I’ve blocked and crossed them off. As I don’t need that. I’ve always had a fairly solitary adulthood. I had isolation from ... View more

Hi, I’ve been through a lot and I’ve a lot of my unwelcome family members tell me that I have no right to feel empowered. Well I’ve blocked and crossed them off. As I don’t need that. I’ve always had a fairly solitary adulthood. I had isolation from 16-26 but from 12 dealing with childhood and my parents divorcing. I met men and was clinging due to lack of affection and love from my family. The relationships ended usually after a year in disaster. I met men on dating sites. Back then flip phones had limited access to Dating Apps. I always went on chat. I felt I could connect on line. I would still go out. At 18-20 and meet guys in night clubs. But I would always want to talk online. I had a lasting relationship at 17-19 which ladted 2 years. I was kicked out by my parent so I had no choice but to move in with him. When we broke up I stopped seeing my friends. And I took the break up pretty hard. I was really isolated and became even worse so I was manipulated my my older sister to go live at home with my Mum. My mum is Evil. Witch. She feeds off my me falling in life. Not doing well. So she use to call the police on me and kick me out for doing the house work wrong. I was eventually kicked out and I had no choice but to go into a ShareHouse - At 22 - where I met a man who physically assaulted because he made fun of me for my life style. This went on where the Police were called at different properties for 3 Years. Up until 2012. I then went and searched back on line for another comforter and I met a 29 Year old called Joel. Where he assaulted me. And gave me Phycological breathing problems which affected my anxiety. He invited me back to his house. A 30 minute drive. Where he would call the Cops to kick me out, again. He insisted that I keep him as a boyfriend whilst I was trying to get away from him. He abused me through Emails, verbally and then applied to have an intervention order put on me because he abused me. I tried to keep away from him but he kept sending me emails knowing I’d check them, saying things like - I know where’s you live. I told my dad. And the police. My dad I was so estranged and distant from. But the authorities just told me to work on my own Self. I’ve copped it and gone through trauma. Plus been in hospitals and been mistreated for 10 years. I live at the beach. And I Want another reality. I Think. I’m 37.