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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Guest_2613 Mother - Daughter (or son) Sexual Abuse
  • replies: 5

Hi - I've been going to therapy and working on my healing for some years now. I'm making great progress and life is good. I have had bits and pieces of memories coming back though. They are fragmented and mostly sensory... but when I put them all tog... View more

Hi - I've been going to therapy and working on my healing for some years now. I'm making great progress and life is good. I have had bits and pieces of memories coming back though. They are fragmented and mostly sensory... but when I put them all together it paints a picture of child sexual abuse from my mother, to me as her daughter. My mother is quite disturbed, has a lot of trauma herself and was extremely dysregulated my entire upbringing - and still is to this day. She was very emotionally and psychologically abusive towards me. But this isn't the story that one hears as often and it's so hard to find information online. We're so used to hearing about the male abuser - I wanted to post to see if others had any stories of female abusers generally, and also sexual abuse from mothers - maybe female teachers or relatives too... Women can most definitely be abusers too - and they go about it very differently to men, potentially much more insidious.

Guest_09020871 Did it count?
  • replies: 0

When I was 10 my best friend said "how do you kiss?" As a child I had no idea, but now being older I understand what she was really asking and i had even less of an idea how badly it would progress from there. Me, a teenage girl now looking back on l... View more

When I was 10 my best friend said "how do you kiss?" As a child I had no idea, but now being older I understand what she was really asking and i had even less of an idea how badly it would progress from there. Me, a teenage girl now looking back on little girl me that never knew if what was happening was assault or if it was nothing. Today I know my answer. Sadly i have delt with countless accounts of this situation with her and I have also had 2 occasions with a cousin. I talked to my mum, some friends, counsellor and 5 weeks ago I told a teacher and a stranger that comes to skls to talk about sex, consent, assault, and more. I now know my friend was not just curious but what she did was sexualising assault and rape.I am proud of myself for staying strong, for speaking up and getting the help I needed. I asked the questions that were eating me alive, discovered myself, my experiences and what I want to do. I do now feel like I'm alone, like people can't relate, and I feel like I'm branded. I don't remember being asked out by anyone since, and I feel like I'm untouchable and unlovable. I pray I'm not disgusting or something. But the girl who assaulted me said I should starve myself for 3 days exactly or more, I've been called flat chested, flat ass, and all other nicknames for both, I've been called skinny and fat, ugly and pretty, dumb, slow, annoying and a yapper. But I'm also called pretty, sweet, kind, an empath, and so now I wonder? Was it my fault, did I lead them on, how so? Am I pretty or not, lovable or not. Am I perfect, average, or a background character in everyone else's story. I'm happy with where I am and how far I've come, but there's still questions unanswered I want to know. The fears these people created about my personality and appearance. I don't know where I stand. I love myself, can't stand my own voice in my head, don't like how I look most days but my strength and personality keeps me going. Idk if anyone's reading this, I don't mind if you aren't really paying attention, but I'm here for you so is many others on this site, if you need help, no matter how scary, reach out. Some people may say nothing, others may say to much or the wrong thing, but someone will listen, someone will be there at the right time, in the right way. Goodluck stranger. You got this

Guest_70646410 Greif & PTSD
  • replies: 1

A few days ago, I was informed that one of my cousins had committed suicide due to bullying, I wasn't super close with my cousin but this hit really close to home as I had attempted due to bullying. These past few days I've just been trying to distra... View more

A few days ago, I was informed that one of my cousins had committed suicide due to bullying, I wasn't super close with my cousin but this hit really close to home as I had attempted due to bullying. These past few days I've just been trying to distract, but come nighttime when it's time to sleep, everything comes rushing in. I have thoughts of it and see images in my head (the way she passed and the way I planned to). It's a weird feeling, I feel numb and sad and confused. It's hard because I know exactly how she felt. I haven't been sleeping well lately, getting less than 5 hours of sleep, waking up during the night, waking up early, which is unusual as I'm normally a heavy sleeper, once I'm asleep, I'm out like a lightbulb. I'm also feeling really confused with my feelings, I don't know how to explain it or how to cope.

Guest_15955900 Is it normal to struggle so much as a teen and does it get better?
  • replies: 2

I'm going to just get straight to the point. I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just summarise it with what my friend told me when I told her about my life: "It sounds like a princess story before the good stuff. Like Cinderella when she was wit... View more

I'm going to just get straight to the point. I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just summarise it with what my friend told me when I told her about my life: "It sounds like a princess story before the good stuff. Like Cinderella when she was with the evil stepmother, y'know?" Now my mum is sick, I've been rapidly declining in health (both physical and mental) and every time I tell people about it, they say it's just hormones or that it'll get better. Does it? I've tried everything I can think of. I've reached out, tried fixing it on my own, been as open as I can with others so that maybe they can help, and I even begged God for help every night for years, but nothing works... So does it get better??? We've been going through some financial issues, so that affects how much help I can get. Is it so bad to want that fantasy life that princesses have? I mean sure I know they're just stories, but if I look forward to having something similar (finding love or even just purpose in life), will I get better, or is it an unrealistic standard?

Guest_37342055 13 Years of Silence and Pain — Will It Ever Get Better?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone,I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I just needed to let this out. My emotions are all over the place.I grew up in a strict and lonely childhood where I rarely got what I asked for, so I stopped asking altogether. Maybe that’s wh... View more

Hi everyone,I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I just needed to let this out. My emotions are all over the place.I grew up in a strict and lonely childhood where I rarely got what I asked for, so I stopped asking altogether. Maybe that’s why I feel so low now.About 13 years ago, I entered into an arranged marriage. Since then, I’ve been living with my in-laws, who were very controlling, manipulative, and cruel. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without a male companion and went through years of mental abuse. When I told my parents, their response was “it’s your destiny, adjust and compromise.” So I tried to do just that.But it feels like I haven’t truly lived. My marriage is loveless and sexless. My husband says he loves me, but in 13 years he’s never bought me a gift, a flower, or even noticed simple things like my favorite color. Sometimes I wonder if he’s gay, asexual, or just uninterested.I have a 7-year-old child who means the world to me, but I still cry almost every day. I feel like I’m in a cage, with my wings and legs tied. I’m not financially independent, and I don’t know how to get out of this.I guess I just want to ask: does it ever get better, or am I going to feel trapped like this forever?

Cee123 Stuck in an abusive parental situation, no way out
  • replies: 2

I am 39, and my father has completely ruined my life. I am still stuck living with him on a daily basis now that he has retired... I am constantly fighting with him, I never feel at peace here and I'm stuck with him controlling me on a daily basis, b... View more

I am 39, and my father has completely ruined my life. I am still stuck living with him on a daily basis now that he has retired... I am constantly fighting with him, I never feel at peace here and I'm stuck with him controlling me on a daily basis, but I have nowhere else to go or I will be homeless and living on the street. I can't even get a job now because my mental health is destroyed, suffering long-term anxiety disorders and major depression and I am socially isolated. Things which I am only now realising were largely caused by his selfish actions, and not being allowed to have a life and grow as a person. I've also been long-term unemployed now with no major skills or experience etc and feel as though I am old now and my life has been completely wasted. I never got to do anything I wanted to do in life!-He had to control everything growing up, and still does today. He controls me, he controls my mother, controlled my brother up until last year when he moved out with a friend of his. But basically everything he does he has to be in CONTROL. And if he doesn't get his own way with things he gets angry about it. Most of the time, we always have to eat what he wants, go where he wants, do what he wants. But other than that, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, he doesn't want me to do anything, he doesn't want me to have money, he doesn't want me to have a job. He just wants me to stay here for the rest of my life and do nothing. But I am going absolutely nuts and I am often snapping and yelling at him! Same with my mother. He doesn't want my mother to go anywhere or have a life of her own. Treats her like a domestic slave. He often wants to know where she goes, where she is etc, and the same with me. I look at her a lot of days and it looks like she's given up on life.-He basically kept us isolated growing up, and I missed out on having a lot of experiences that would've helped me grow as a person. We only ever went to the same places, did the same things probably about once or twice a year. He never took us anywhere or did anything with us as kids. He would go out and live his life and leave us home. My cousins went everywhere, and did a lot of things with their parents. They had a lot of things to talk about and found it easier to make friends. My dad took off in the car and was never home, and expected my mother to always stay home with us. But fortunately she worked, as he would never share his money with her. As a result, I barely had any friends growing up, always struggled to make and keep friends, couldn't form healthy relationships. I would go to school and we would have news day and the teacher would ask me what I did on the weekend and I would say "nothing". I never got to do or experience a lot of things that other people got to do and experience and missed out on A LOT in my life, and a lot of stuff that I never got to learn. Having autism doesn't help, as that isolated me even more and I was a regular target for bullying.

Pyrolee Lost my job second time unexpected and deceived
  • replies: 1

I’ve recently lost my job for the second time during probation period, it was a job I was after and had no issues leading to my dismissal, the boss was friendly at the stage and came off as supportive, I’ve got two kids as well and he’s got two kids ... View more

I’ve recently lost my job for the second time during probation period, it was a job I was after and had no issues leading to my dismissal, the boss was friendly at the stage and came off as supportive, I’ve got two kids as well and he’s got two kids as well, seemed like everything was fine and on trackUnexpectedly he gave me the flick final day of my probation and asked to return everything and said it was a business decision. Now I’m unemployed with two loving kids and a wife in distress and feel like giving it all up, I can’t cause my kids need a father but everyday I feel like what’s the point, I’ve been lied to, everything in my life crushed and falling apart, nothings working out for me but it’s like this everyday, waking up and being like I’m in this same pickle everyday, get a job, get lied to, go out have a go, people put you down cause you’re of different ethnicity, it’s all getting too much, what do I do? I feel like I can’t talk and trust people anymore and feel sad and what’s the point, can’t catch a break

TimTams Bad experience with police/reporting rape?
  • replies: 67

Hi, I am hoping to hear from other rape survivors in hope someone has been through what I have. When I reported my rape an officer encouraged me not to report 2 other assaults by this person because it sounded like "risky sex". This really hurt, beca... View more

Hi, I am hoping to hear from other rape survivors in hope someone has been through what I have. When I reported my rape an officer encouraged me not to report 2 other assaults by this person because it sounded like "risky sex". This really hurt, because each time I was badly assaulted. I am wondering is anyone else who has reported rape in Australia has had bad experiences with police like me? I am finding it really hard to understand why not all victims are given the chance to go to court due to 'not enough evidence' as well. Of course rapists will deny it and I just cannot understand how this is all the system does before closing a case. Has anyone else struggled with not having 'enough evidence' to get a conviction and bad remarks from police officers? This has really deeply affected my trust in society. It just feels hard to understand the world when you are raised to believe these things are wrong, yet police support the rapist. Thank you for any insights. I have felt very alone in this and was wondering if there are others out there who have had similar bad experiences when reporting their rape?

Guest_84728806 Teachers managing student behaviour
  • replies: 2

I feel like this is a taboo subject and can't find much about it. I'm suffering from PTSD from violent and aggressive behaviours from various students in a main stream primary school. I always felt that I was trying my best and unfortunately it wasn'... View more

I feel like this is a taboo subject and can't find much about it. I'm suffering from PTSD from violent and aggressive behaviours from various students in a main stream primary school. I always felt that I was trying my best and unfortunately it wasn't the case with managing consistent aggressive behaviours. Staff were conflicted with managing this behaviour. I have now lost my ability to work with children due to the exposure for over 4 years. I feel lost as I have been deemed to have no capacity to work with any children due to the level of exposure of violence I have endured. I feel lost and neglected.