Immediate support
Immediate support

Multicultural experiences

Designed for members who were born overseas, have parents who were, speak a primary language that isn’t English or have mixed cultural heritage.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hi! Read this if you are not sure what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond B... View more

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond Blue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage and want a specific space to share their experience. Please be aware that posts on the Beyond Blue Forums may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our Forums guidelines, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Donte The Power Of Thought
  • replies: 8

Our thoughts generate more thoughts. Thoughts often create emotions as we respond to them. That process generates action. This action becomes our behaviour and eventually our way of life. From thoughts, emotions, actions, our life unfolds moment to m... View more

Our thoughts generate more thoughts. Thoughts often create emotions as we respond to them. That process generates action. This action becomes our behaviour and eventually our way of life. From thoughts, emotions, actions, our life unfolds moment to moment, each one building or reacting to the other. Thoughts then, have great power and affect our wellbeing and mental health. But where do thoughts come from? They're influenced by our culture, religion or beliefs, traditions, our families, the society and the era we live in and the stimuli around us. Do our thoughts then, particularly in the way our culture and beliefs have an influence on them, take us toward a healthier, happier, more positive approach to life? Do our thoughts, influenced by our cultural context, help us to recover from illness or trauma? Whatever we are inclined to think naturally, does it tend to be optimistic, problem solving, looking at the opportunities in every challenge that arises or does it drag us down? What may be some thought patterns developed through growing up in our specific context that keeps us from progressing towards a healthier wellbeing? And, how can we become more aware of our thoughts and determine our relationship with them? How do we achieve moments of rest from thought which are essential for our wellbeing? How do we withdraw from our senses to quiet the thoughts and allow the power of the mind to emerge and be felt? For me, it is about focusing my attention on the breath and let my mind relax and open. It's something I've learnt from my childhood, as growing up in Greece we had a compulsory afternoon siesta, where everything (including school, shops etc) will stop for a couple of hours to allow everyone to take a break, to stop, rest, physically and mentally, contemplate, meditate, switch-off, before returning back to the tasks of the day. I vividly remember those long summer afternoons, when no one would be out on the streets, and we kids were not allowed to wander around, neither chat with each other or watch tv, listen to radio etc - we had to lie down and remain still, listening to the cicadas in the background and just breathe. I now realize that these were my very first mindfulness lessons. If our thoughts trouble us, if worry, fear, stress, anxiety or depression have taken over our lives, could it be that by altering our thoughts we may be able to influence our feelings, actions, attitudes and environment and create a healthier mental state?...

Donte Does violence happen in culturally and linguistically diverse relationships like in other relationships and can it affect mental health?
  • replies: 0

Violence in relationships is more common than most people think. Violence doesn't discriminate. Intimate violence takes place in all communities and religious groups. It affects people of all ages, socioeconomic status, gender etc. Traditionally, fam... View more

Violence in relationships is more common than most people think. Violence doesn't discriminate. Intimate violence takes place in all communities and religious groups. It affects people of all ages, socioeconomic status, gender etc. Traditionally, familial violence has mainly been discussed in Australia in terms of anglo/straight relationships. Not much data is collected on culturally and linguistically diverse couples specifically, including cross-cultural and/or interfaith relationships and the impact on mental health for the partners and/or the children. The truth of the matter is that relationship violence is an issue for every community, even the ones that do not admit to it. It is generally believed that mental health can be a risk factor contributing to partner violence. It could also be an outcome of the violence itself. In situations where migrants are non-English speaking newly-arrived from countries were they have experience hardship and trauma, it may be more difficult to 'speak up' and be heard, having very limited or no resources to deal with the issue. Many migrants who experience violence in their relationships aren't willing to talk about it or ask for help from either friends (fear of judgement) or professional counsellors (lack of ability to navigate the system and access issues due to linguistic or cultural barriers). They often may feel too embarrassed to talk about it, believe that they won't be taken seriously, or convince themselves that the violence is due to the migration stress and the challenges in the new country and that is just a passing phase in the relationship. Many may not be aware of the law in Australia and/or their rights. They may come from a culture where violence is excused and/or tolerated. In some cases, victims can even think that they deserve it or invent excuses on their partner's behalf. For those reasons, relationship violence within certain communities can often go unnoticed and unreported for long periods of time. Stopping violence in a relationship can seldom be done from the inside. However, many non-English speaking people are often not asking others for help. This can lead to anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. Most professional services are geared towards English-speaking women although there are a few services that are recognised for their sensitivity to non-English speaking communities. If you are experiencing violence in your relationship, how can you talk to someone about it?

nevergiveup245 Feeling really hopeless about high possibility of family rejecting me
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, I joined a few years ago but this is my first post here. I am Asian and identify as queer, but mostly attracted to women. I am in the closet for a few years now and not out to any family members. I am feeling hopeless right now because t... View more

Hi everyone, I joined a few years ago but this is my first post here. I am Asian and identify as queer, but mostly attracted to women. I am in the closet for a few years now and not out to any family members. I am feeling hopeless right now because the high possibility of my parents rejecting me if I come out to them. Thinking about this has really affected me. I don’t have many lgbti friends I can really talk to, and I can’t see my psychologist any time soon. I am not thinking about coming out soon or anything, but just worrying about this makes me feel really down. Family is conservative and have conservative views of marriage and having kids and all. Some religious family members as well. I feel just all bogged down by this. But I also want to live in a way that is authentic to myself. How do you all deal with it? Is there any hope having family members like this?

calm_mind 32 years of an arranged marriage - I need help
  • replies: 18

Hi, This is my first post; I am not sure where to start. I need help. I am 55 years old, 32 years of (arranged) married life; he is 9 years older than me. Struggled all my life with depression, consulted many therapists in over 17 years; Unable to co... View more

Hi, This is my first post; I am not sure where to start. I need help. I am 55 years old, 32 years of (arranged) married life; he is 9 years older than me. Struggled all my life with depression, consulted many therapists in over 17 years; Unable to cope with my husband's manipulations, tantrums and much more. There is absolutely no connection (emotional, intellectual, physical what so ever)between us. In the 7 years of therapy, I have learnt to put some labels for his behaviour/ attitude such as (i) lack of empathy (ii) very very shallow emotions (iii) parasitical attitude (iv) emotional blackmail, irresponsible etc. I lost trust in God but I meditate, my mind is very quiet. I have learnt to manage many things in these years. But his fault finding/cynical / irresponsible talk triggers violent anger in me. I need help to get rid of anger from my being. I am not sure, what more to write. Thank you very much

Donte Caring for someone with a chronic mental illness
  • replies: 5

Just bumped onto my neighbor down the street. He was very distraught. He got back from a shopping centre with his son (30+yo), who hears voices and sees things that are not there. He usually avoids crowded places, he told me. But today he had nowhere... View more

Just bumped onto my neighbor down the street. He was very distraught. He got back from a shopping centre with his son (30+yo), who hears voices and sees things that are not there. He usually avoids crowded places, he told me. But today he had nowhere to leave him. His son had an episode in the midst of the shopping centre and started shouting, kicking and fighting invisible beings while people laughed, took photos and videos or run away scared. It was humiliating. My neighbour started crying. In his country, he told me, his son wouldn't be allowed to go out. He'd be locked away somewhere. He often has to deal with strong emotions, like anger, guilt, grief and distress, that can spill into other relationships and cause conflict and frustration. Looking after their son has severely affected their marriage, he told me, and he is not intimate with his wife for years now. He feels isolated, missing the social opportunities associated with work, recreation and leisure activities. They haven't been on a holiday for years and even if they could afford it, there's no way they can leave their son somewhere as they'd be constantly worried for his wellbeing and unable to relax or have a good time. If they took him with them, there would be no break. This made me think of the enormous burden on the carers, family and relatives or friends of someone living with a mental illness. Caring for someone can take the freedom and spontaneity out of life. The demands of caring can leave little time for other family members or friends. The impact often goes unnoticed or unrecognized. At some point in many people's lives, things change and they may find themselves caring for someone. No one prepares you for something like this. It's something we do as people. In many cultures it is expected. Apart from the many rewards that caring offers to the carer there are also numerous challenges. Caring can be very demanding and often restricts the lives of individual carers and their families and can impact on one's relationships, health - emotional, mental, physical, - career or job prospects, finances, travel etc. Some health problems, like back problems, anxiety and depression, can be directly linked to caring. Many people who look after someone are chronically tired and desperately need to refresh with just one night of unbroken sleep, a day off or an extended period with no caring responsibilities. How do you cope as a carer? How do you look after yourself? What supports do you have?

potatopatato I'm tired of being me, and im only 23
  • replies: 3

At least once a fortnight I fall asleep with sunken eyes, and moist cheeks, having turned the lights out at midnight and cried until 1:56 AM. This is because I’m tired of being me, and as much as I say it nobody seems to believe me, so I just stopped... View more

At least once a fortnight I fall asleep with sunken eyes, and moist cheeks, having turned the lights out at midnight and cried until 1:56 AM. This is because I’m tired of being me, and as much as I say it nobody seems to believe me, so I just stopped saying it to anyone but myself. Every morning as I brush my teeth, I’m thinking that I’m tired of being me. As I catch a glimpse of myself as I walk out the door, I whisper that I’m tired of being me. It bothers me so much that in 23 years I’ve never once felt beautiful. I still remember the neighbour’s boys telling me I looked like a witch when I was seven. I still remember, because I agree with them. I’ve never thought I was better than anyone, but I’m afraid that people mistake my fear of eye contact for arrogance. When in reality, I’m just worried they’ll notice how asymmetrical my face is, or how my nose droops when I smile, or how my teeth go up and down, or how I can’t imagine my face inspiring any emotion other than apathy in another person. I spent the first 20 years of my life not caring about my appearance, and it was okay because I accepted that I just wasn’t ever going to be an attractive person. At 19 I thought I ‘d put on the headscarf, so I’d feel more connected to God. For me it was the only thing spiritually that I hadn’t achieved, and I couldn’t possibly feel less attractive so why not. Here I am now almost 5 years since I’ve put it on, and I’ve never hated it more. Maybe I hate it because I adopted it so completely that I see it as an extension of myself, and any opportunity to shed a part of myself…I guess I would take it. The saddest part is that I’m not keeping it on anymore because I love God, even though that is why I put it on, I’m keeping it on now because I’m worried that without it I’ll still be ugly but I’ll feel foolish too. Because underneath all of this material is a person who grimaces when she looks in the mirror, and who feels like a massive failure when she tries to look nice. And I’m worried that people will think, even if they don’t say it, that I should have kept it on. If they did think that, they’d be right.

Worrywart458 Working for family business causing anxiety.
  • replies: 2

Hi, first post here. I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I have migrant parents and he opened a restaurant 8 years. Ive been working there since a young age (year 11) and im at a point I feel like it is taking over my life. I do waitering, delivering... View more

Hi, first post here. I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I have migrant parents and he opened a restaurant 8 years. Ive been working there since a young age (year 11) and im at a point I feel like it is taking over my life. I do waitering, delivering (everything at the front) I have told them I do not want to work anymore but he keeps having staff issues and I keep coming back. Its an endless circle. At age 23 I want to work for jobs from my own field and meet new people. Im not scared to do things on my own but its something about it being a family owned business and the expectations / toxic work environment that is consuming me. My mum has severe depression and anxiety so theres family history. I have developed anxiety because the job is a lot of pressure and my mind has been conditioned to be on call all the time due to the unpredictability of the job as it can get busy without notice. Its affected my social skills, my work at uni and my ability to go out in the world and make my own mistakes and commit to new endeavours. The anxiety is especially bad before I leave for work. Sometimes I just waste half a day on my bed, because it consumes me and I dont want to do anything. I have talked to them and they understand somewhat because of my mums condition but as I said its an endless circle, there is no solution. Ive started to develop social anxiety and perhaps depression. Even on a day off I cannot relax because my mind is racing hoping I dont get called in. Im so lost.

Donte Those small balconies!
  • replies: 2

I live in a small inner city apartment. Since my migration to Australia I chose to live in the inner city and love apartment life. In fact, I’ve never lived in a house. Love the views, the containment, the sense of security and most of all the feelin... View more

I live in a small inner city apartment. Since my migration to Australia I chose to live in the inner city and love apartment life. In fact, I’ve never lived in a house. Love the views, the containment, the sense of security and most of all the feeling that I’m surrounded by people, upstairs, downstairs, next door. It energezises me and makes me feel alive. Love the city vibes. I’ve never lived in the country. I can’t be in a suburb. All my life, my balconies have been my highlight of apartment life. Love plants, water features, fish, outdoor living. Especially if it’s in the 12th floor! I currently have transformed my 3meter balcony into an oasis filled with palm trees, bamboo, water feature and a pond with koi fish which I take delight in feeding and spend morning and evening with my coffee, my wine, a book, and the sound of running water. Everyone who has seen my balcony cannot believe what I’ve done up here! Theres only one problem. I don’t know my limits. I go overboard. I don’t know when to stop. I have accumulated so many pots, plants, soil, rocks, heavy statues etc that my neighbor downstairs is really worried that one day the balcony will collapse - onto hers! After some consideration, I contacted the body corporate and found out that I exceed the limit by 1000kgs! It’s a miracle that you haven’t seen my balcony on the news yet! So, upon this new knowledge I had to make changes! I have lots away, I took statues in my garage, and I brought heavy concrete pots with palms, yakas and dracenas inside my lounge room in an attempt to minimize weight on the balcony. Today I was pondering on how our lives are like a balcony. We tend to accumulate stuff, knowledge, ideas, information etc to the point where we don’t have capacity anymore - our mental resilience is about to collapse, threatened undercthe weight of the world, society, cultural notions, ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ etc. We conform. We give in. We are crashed. We collapse. So what things have you accumulated in your life that hold you down? What heavy cross do you allow others to place upon your shoulder? What weight do you bear? What self-sabotaging you allow to dictate your thoughts? What limiting beliefs hold you back from reaching your maximum potential? Have you reached your limit? Have you put your health in jeopardy? What changes do you need to do in order to find peace and calmness? What do you need to take out? Give away? Rearrange?

Donte Elder abuse and English language difficulties
  • replies: 5

As in Victoria 46% of the population is born overseas or having at least one parent born overseas many ethnic communities age disproportionately from the rest of the population. This happens because many non-English speaking residents arrived in Aust... View more

As in Victoria 46% of the population is born overseas or having at least one parent born overseas many ethnic communities age disproportionately from the rest of the population. This happens because many non-English speaking residents arrived in Australia at the same time, they had similar ages, and in large groups. So the thousands of Greeks, Italians, Polish etc who migrated after the World War are all old now. Many depend on family members, usually children, or partners to help them with day to day living as either they never learnt English (due to large numbers who stuck together and helped each other, as well as lack of services and supports back at the time of their migration, and due to other governmental priorities - Australia needed unskilled laborers to work in industries that no one else wanted to go), or they revert back to their native tongue due to dementia and/or other cognitive impairing diseases and the aging process. Unfortunately this group of elderly are particularly susceptible to elder abuse, (any act that harms older people and that is carried out by someone they know and should be able to trust such as family or friends. Such harm can be financial, physical, sexual, emotional or psychological, including mistreatment or neglect.) This abuse from a loved one can bring elderly to desperation, cause enormous pain and stress and contribute to depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. As this group predominantly doesn't speak good english, is not computer literate or smartphone savvy etc has additional challenges when it comes to accessing information and navigating services and supports. Often their mental illness goes unnoticed or undiagnosed. Many suffer in silence. Their lives are filled with fear and distress as on one hand they rely on their children/loved ones for support and on the other, these very same people neglect their needs, manipulate them emotionally, exploit them financially, and abuse them in ways unfathomable to many. So how do we help half of our elderly population who may not know their rights and options? How do we support an elderly person who is frail, vulnerable and disadvantaged due to linguistic and cultural notions that perhaps hinder their ability to ask for help? How do we make a difference to a 70yo+ or 80yo+ who may suffer from depression due to conflict in the family and being trapped in their own home? It could be your neighbor, your relative, your friend or your own partner or parent.

Gene30 Troubled son
  • replies: 5

For years now my wife and I have struggled in dealing with a son who is very abusive towards us and his siblings. We’ve had to kick him out a few, we’ve let him come back on the condition that his seeks help and goes see someone. It’s gotten bad agai... View more

For years now my wife and I have struggled in dealing with a son who is very abusive towards us and his siblings. We’ve had to kick him out a few, we’ve let him come back on the condition that his seeks help and goes see someone. It’s gotten bad again he refuses to seek help. We’ve had to get police involved. His now moved to his grandparents place and my family has all turn on us that we are the one with the problem and bad prarents and all we what is destroy our son and we are the that need to get help not our son and our youngest child should be taken away from us. They don’t know what it’s like to be treated badly 24/7 were we are in a minefield waiting for him to go off. His behaviour has killed any feelings I have, I don’t hate him just no feeling for him. I have no relationship with my mother as she denies that there is a problem with her grandson. He needs help and my parents and my siblings think they perfect parents and will take over on what we have failed to do. My son doesn’t show them his true side, it’s like living with 2 people and we live with the bad person. Thanks for reading