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Mental health conditions

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Anxiety

Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in Australia. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with anxiety.

OldHeadNZ The differences in Mental Health Support Services across Melbourne
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Hi there. My names J. I'm originally from NZ but moved here to Melbourne in 2016.From time to time I suffer manic episodes that need medication to address and resolve.I'm now currently going through my 3rd episode since moving here.The first one, I w... View more

Hi there. My names J. I'm originally from NZ but moved here to Melbourne in 2016.From time to time I suffer manic episodes that need medication to address and resolve.I'm now currently going through my 3rd episode since moving here.The first one, I was living in the City so I sought help at Alfred Hospital and they fed me, medicated me, called my Wife and even walked me to my tram stop home. From there I received the best support I've had to date. They got me through the episode and honestly just did an amazing job. 3 years later (episodes roughly happen every 3 years) I'm now living in the Outer Western Suburbs. A good 40min drive from the city.Second episode hits and I seek help like before. But that's where everything goes wrong. The Nurses/Dr's/HCA's/Lab Techs are just underfunded. Simple as that.When there's not enough staff to manage the workload mistakes happen.I was prescribed a toxic amount of Lithium as a mood stabiliser and ended up staying a night at Sunshine Hospital to get me through it. I've been diagnosed as having a Schizo Effective Disorder. A mix of bipolar and schizophrenia.Manic episodes are essentially me being super into my feelings.When I'm sad I'm super sad, when I'm happy I'm super happy.I'm talkative, I'm social, I'm ready to party essentially. I have poor impulse control with spending. My thoughts race a mile a second. I have short term memory loss. The list goes on But with the right support and medication I can get through the episode without any major hiccups. I say all this, because I feel like there's others out there like me.Whether it's bipolar or depression or psychosis or whatever As long as you have the right support, you'll get through. I'm now towards the tail end of my 3rd episode. Still living in the Western Suburbs, so still have to go through this system. And would you believe it, it's worse. A lot worse. Dr's who can even list the side effects of the medication they're prescribing. Staff turnover must be insane, because in 3 weeks I've never met the same person twice.It's always "oh hi I'm ****, it's my first day" or "o I'm just covering for ***" I signed up for the whole MyHealth record thing so I assumed my previous notes were in the system...I assumed wrong.They apparently have no record of my previous care or are unable to obtain it. So we start from scratch and hope for the best. I'm rambling now. I apologise. The point of this discussion is to hear from other people about their journey through whatever Mental Health Support System they are zoned for. Because I believe the differences in quality are ridiculous.

Mario_Sonic My Ongoing Fear
  • replies: 1

Hey guys, Liam here. I just wanted to talk about something that has deeply affected me for a long time now and that something...is my fear of losing my family...Basically, from when I was born to when I was 13, I was a youthful, happy person...but wh... View more

Hey guys, Liam here. I just wanted to talk about something that has deeply affected me for a long time now and that something...is my fear of losing my family...Basically, from when I was born to when I was 13, I was a youthful, happy person...but when I was 14, so this was in September 2019, my Nan had a fall and broke her arm. This was something I didn't see, but I was there when it happened...I had my two cousins with me at the time, boy and girl and my girl cousin actually witnessed Nan fall which deeply traumatized her...anyways...point is, after this incident, in 2020, I lost my Grandpa and my Nan's best friend five months apart from each other so in the months of July and Februrary...then in 2021, as a couple of you may know, my dear friend was murdered in September of that year...these three deaths all mean something to me because they've given me this belief that I'm going to lose my family and if I do lose them, the only option I'll have left is to end my life because I can't live without my family...especially my Nan and Pop...they're not just a part of my life, they are my life and they're a part of me...I love my Nan and Pop and all the rest of my family dearly...my fear has gotten so bad that I've started having nightmares about losing them all, seeing them all dead, me being beaten up by my enemies, and me being killed in an electric chair ever since Nan's fall...I guess that's why I feel like I need a girl I can talk to so I'll never be alone... *Crying* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭-Liam

Bloodyhell Work stres
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. I'm so glad I found this site.I have been in my current full time job for 1 1/2 years. It has always been stressful. I am now getting migraine & raised blood pressure & anxiety like never before. I don't want to leave this job permanentl... View more

Hi everyone. I'm so glad I found this site.I have been in my current full time job for 1 1/2 years. It has always been stressful. I am now getting migraine & raised blood pressure & anxiety like never before. I don't want to leave this job permanently butI know I need to reduce my hours/days. I'm currently of on mental health leave.I need to speak to my employer about this but im freaking out at what to say or even to begin the conversation. I'd really appreciate any advice at this time.

Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

Guest_62481691 Suicidal Thoughts
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I've been experiencing severe suicidal thoughts ever since a few months ago. My life the past 6 months has been nothing but bed rotting and playing some video games, i dont go to school anymore, I quit my job 2 months ago. My life has been downhill e... View more

I've been experiencing severe suicidal thoughts ever since a few months ago. My life the past 6 months has been nothing but bed rotting and playing some video games, i dont go to school anymore, I quit my job 2 months ago. My life has been downhill ever since the start of 2025, my online "friends" make alot of fat jokes towards me no matter what I say (I'm not that fat. Ive been losing alot of weight but it's been harder with everybody criticising my every move) I told them about my SA and they took it and started joking about it because I'm a male being sa'd by a woman, this happened when I was around 10. Life has sucked ever since I was 5 if anything, my childhood was "not like others" - school counsellor. My parents broke up when I was young and I was very in-between during it, bouncing around house to house. Always getting yelled at/hit. I flinch every time my dad tries to joke around with me. You know how much that hurts?. Sorry if im talking or writing too much. I really needed to say something to someone, even if it's a post in a group.

Reya Trying to will myself to seek help but feeling like I'm just being dramatic
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Since I was about 12 years old I have felt like I have undiagnosed Depression and Anxiety, and of recent years I suspect ADD to some degree as I have started to learn more about the disorder. But try as I might I have never been able to bring myself ... View more

Since I was about 12 years old I have felt like I have undiagnosed Depression and Anxiety, and of recent years I suspect ADD to some degree as I have started to learn more about the disorder. But try as I might I have never been able to bring myself to seek a diagnosis as I have always been a very introspective and hyper-critical person who can identify the root and cause of most of my issues, so I have white-knuckled it for years. I feel like I know exactly what got me to this state when it flares up the worst, as it is almost always a result of poor choices on my behalf, or just plain bad luck. I was severely bullied all through Primary and High School, to a horrendous extent both in person and Online in High School in particular. Part of it came at a result of my own poor choices, but regarding events that took place Outside of school and did not involve any students there. The things I went through sound like a Teen movie when I recall them to friends. As I grew older, I would fall into despair as relationships ended, my creative endeavours failed, and now I have come to a point where I have given up on all my dreams as nothing ever works out. I am a very creative person but I feel like in this modern age of AI and over-saturation of online content, I have no chance in h*ll of making it doing anything I love. And so I've packed it all in and reluctantly tried to come to grips with reality that I may have to work a mundane, dull 9-5 and have to learn to be okay with it. I never had any interests outside of creative hobbies and so I have nothing to fall back on. And I live in a constant state of anger, resentment towards creators online or artists - fully aware it's my own jealousy, and hatred for captilism. I have never believed humans were meant to just be stuck in jobs they hate and then retire and die. IT deeply upsets me. So all this to say, it's hard for me to bring myself to seek a diagnosis, as I feel like I am just reluctant to grow up and get with the program so to speak. That if I got the h*ck over my "immature mindset" I wouldn't break down and cry every time I'm faced with responsibilities and the pressures of adult life. Maybe I am the problem, and maybe I'm Not mentally ill, but have just convinced myself I am all these years...

EmiJ Looking for hope
  • replies: 1

I guess as my title suggest I am just looking for some hope if there is someone out there who has been through or is like me and it has turned out better for them.I am a walking embarrassment who absolutely hates and disgusted by myself.I did age car... View more

I guess as my title suggest I am just looking for some hope if there is someone out there who has been through or is like me and it has turned out better for them.I am a walking embarrassment who absolutely hates and disgusted by myself.I did age care work for over a year then I left the company because I felt I had humiliated myself and was completely inferior.I tried a couple of other companies but it was very short-lived because I think I was too comfortable with the first company.I applied again for the first company and got rejected unfortunately due to health reasons I was unreliable when I worked for and no I don’t think I was the quickest worker and maybe my personality does leave something to be desired.I have multiple other issues but at the moment I need to be able to hold down a job and unfortunately any other job I get it’s not what I want. I want to go back to that job but now I never can.it’s not just a job thing. It’s everything I’m getting older fatter and I have no self esteem left .everything outside of my bedroom in the house I share scares me and sometimes I’m even scared in there. I’m just so mad at myself and I just feel like I don’t even know what I feel like just like everyone’s laughing and judging me

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Guest_40541921 Am I the victim or is it self defense or am I the abuser
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m struggling to make sense of what I’ve been through.I was in a long-term relationship of 9 years that, looking back, may have involved emotional, financial and psychological control. Over the years most of our ... View more

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m struggling to make sense of what I’ve been through.I was in a long-term relationship of 9 years that, looking back, may have involved emotional, financial and psychological control. Over the years most of our money and all property were in my partner’s name, and I often felt I had little say in decisions or access to funds. She made me hide things and lie to her family, constantly went through my phone, accused me of things, continually kept me in financial hardship and had access to all my banks and money while I had no access to anything of hers, non of her banks or our mortgages, while she wasn't working as she received insurance payouts she held over me which left me feeling isolated and confused, depressed, I then turned to alcohol.Earlier this year we had a major incident that changed everything. I had 2 broken ribs and was on prescribed medication. She threw away the medication, denied it, and filmed me on and off for 8 hours then went to the police the next afternoon while saying she was too scared to come home. I became angry and verbally abusive. I never used physical violence, but I regret my words deeply.After that night police became involved and a DVO was put in place that excluded me from our family home we owned and lived in for 8 years. Since then I’ve been homeless, lost my office, unable to focus on running my business slowly going into financial hardship, trying to process what happened. I’m dealing with anxiety, insomnia, guilt, and depression, and I keep asking myself whether I was a victim of long-term coercion, or whether I became abusive, or somehow both. She stood to gain financially and apparently started a new relationship days after my arrest, she sold her land and kept the proceeds and I just finished the granny flat downstairs so she received 400 a week rent and we left the property in her name as I trusted her and she promised no matter what she would be fair. I pleaded guilty to the DVO as everyone I spoke to said there was nothing I could do because she recorded me and sat a video interview. I’m trying to understand my behavior and how to take responsibility for what was mine while also healing from what feels like years of manipulation and stress.If anyone has been through something similar or has advice on where to start with counseling or men’s behavior-change or trauma recovery programs, or legal suggestions I’d really appreciate hearing from you.Thanks for listening.

Zxion Trauma and Forgiveness
  • replies: 0

This might be a lil lengthy I’m 24 years old, female, and as I write this I’m currently 74 days sober (2 months 13 days), and before this I had been consuming alcohol and weed (especially weed) to deal with my issues. Roughly 2 months ago I came to t... View more

This might be a lil lengthy I’m 24 years old, female, and as I write this I’m currently 74 days sober (2 months 13 days), and before this I had been consuming alcohol and weed (especially weed) to deal with my issues. Roughly 2 months ago I came to the realisation that I was smoking cause I needed to but rather out of habit. So here I am 2 months later. I started smoking initially because when I was roughly 18, I was sexually assaulted (R*** first experience to sex- and that’s how it went down), when I was 20 I was sexually assaulted again (R***), when I was 20 I was assaulted, When I was 22 I was assaulted , when I was 23 I was sexually assaulted (R***). The first time it happened I ended up in hospital, police came to interview me but realise “there wasn’t enough evidence to proceed with a R*** Kit” - people around me found out quickly and was labeled a liar, attention seeker those were the soft blows. Family, friends…. My mom broke my heart the most the things she said to me whilst I was lying in hospital… I was alone. Second time it happened I told 2 close friends who were there for me. The other times it happened I kept it to myself. Years later with the help of weed, a lot of it - I was able to live a manageable life- if I thought about it I’d smoke, so it happened quite a lot. And drank a lot but smoking was my vice. Last year the new got out about the second guy and what he had done to me and because he was part of the friendship circle I was in, everyone including the girls that I’d been close with ( mind u we’d known each other longer and we were closer than them and that guy) they all turned their backs on me and called me a liar and all sorts of thing- my cousin (who was my best friend ever) was sleeping with him (mind u she was one of the two friends I had spoken to… she held me as I cried…and all that time they were sleeping together). Anyways when the new broke this man started to harass me, asking these so-called friends of mine where a lived, sent threading videos, sending videos of my house saying he knew where I lived, sent a bounty after me saying he will kill me or get me killed. It was a lot. I had to move. Moving in with my “aunty” (one of my friend’s mom) she took me in she didn’t really know what was happening… now this friends mom that I had moved in w went on holiday and when she was on holiday we briefly spoke about the assault she said she believed me and she had my back. Long story short she didn’t, she was using me for information. Me and my old friendship group ended ip at a cookout even last year and whilst I was there the mate who’s family I was staying with had just got back so we went together- and argument broke out between me and the other girls about the situation and then I left after a while… whilst on my way home this mate of my calls the guy and tells him where I am… I went together her house packed my stuff explained to her mom briefly and then left. I didn’t feel safe. Fast forward to now, I’m in my own space, trying this healing and sobriety thing and ITS HARD!!! I’ve been consuming substance for 3 years + and now by Gods grace I’m 2 months sober, everything I’ve been suppressing is coming back up and it’s hard to deal with so I just push it down. Forgiveness has been in my head, but how do you forgive people who aren’t sorry. And yes I know for the most part forgiveness is for you rather than them, but still. I’m struggling!!! Hopefully most of that made sense. But just to summarise I need help with forgiveness and dealing with all of this sober.

Cassee_s I think I have schizoaffective disorder
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Hi BB! I’ve been questioning recently whether or not I have schizoaffective.ive struggled with my mental health all my life and have a family history of bipolar,BPD, NPD, Clinical Depression and severe narcissistic trauma. I know a fair bit about moo... View more

Hi BB! I’ve been questioning recently whether or not I have schizoaffective.ive struggled with my mental health all my life and have a family history of bipolar,BPD, NPD, Clinical Depression and severe narcissistic trauma. I know a fair bit about mood and psychotic disorders as I used to study psychology before i got bad but lost the passion for it about three years ago. Since then I’ve not only lost passion for my hobbies but I’ve lost interest in having friends as I genuinely do not want to be around anyone as I feel they don’t understand. It’s not that I think people are dumb I just lack interest in talking about anything that isn’t something I’m passionate about. Maybe I’m a narcissist but I do care. I love my friends and family and I do feel empathy but only when I’m not having an episode. I got through phases of being amazing and honestly forgetting im unwell to not feeling anything at all to the point of almost committing. Either way I know I need help soon because it’s only getting worse. sorry for the ramble but can someone please help

Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

ImaMommy "Hangover" after Suicidal Thoughts
  • replies: 3

I have recently been feeling really deep, sad and suicidal thoughts. Thoughts, I had never experienced before. I feel like I have managed to feel more like myself after a week of crying however I feel like my tolerance for nonsense has lessened. Not ... View more

I have recently been feeling really deep, sad and suicidal thoughts. Thoughts, I had never experienced before. I feel like I have managed to feel more like myself after a week of crying however I feel like my tolerance for nonsense has lessened. Not in a negative way so much but I miss being nonchalant and focused on the positive. I feel like I have been traumatised by my thoughts. I am safe today and have wonderful support. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar? With love 🙏🏽Thank you

Guest_88424249 I am losing my battle to my mental health
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I am losing the battle to my mental health in silence. Today I was at the back of the bus feeling so, so incredibly empty, my depression drowning me. Tears poured down my face in silence as I begged one of the strangers in front of me to turn back an... View more

I am losing the battle to my mental health in silence. Today I was at the back of the bus feeling so, so incredibly empty, my depression drowning me. Tears poured down my face in silence as I begged one of the strangers in front of me to turn back and ask if I was okay. I am part of the mental health crisis. No one in my life cares. Not my family. I don't have any friends. I am all alone. Truly. No one ever checks up on me. I am just another random saved contact on people's phones. I don't matter to anyone. I just want to go to Europe, lay in a field of flowers, and never wake up. I want to disappear. The pain to stop. Ive never truly been ok. I cry almost everyday. Ive struggled with major depression and anxiety since 13 years old. My existence is just carrying this mental illness, suffering, and trying to make it through not even the next day, or hour, but next minute. Ive not been happy for a very long time. I have not felt myself for a very long time. I dont even know what the aforementioned means - feeling like yourself. The moment you're born you're expected to want to live. To want to have goals. To want to make yourself something in this world. What about the outliers? What about those who naturally don't? What about those like me who truly wish on a star they were never born in the first place? I sadly had no choice in my existence and here I am to carry the burden of myself. I understand and do not blame people who end their lives honestly. I blame and chastise society and those who never check up on them then when they hear the news say hypocritically, "Oh if only they had reached out to me I would have stopped what I was doing to help them." Well here I am writing this. Never written on a forum. I cant deal with this anymore. I cant do this. I am slipping away each second. These are my honest thoughts.

_foxxed Mental health condition vs abuse?
  • replies: 1

Trigger warning** Wasn't really expecting much. Just so unsure about whats real and what isnt. I am 40 and have been diagnosed with adhd early 30's and bpd a few years ago after my son was born. Now its looking more like cptsd and autism is going to ... View more

Trigger warning** Wasn't really expecting much. Just so unsure about whats real and what isnt. I am 40 and have been diagnosed with adhd early 30's and bpd a few years ago after my son was born. Now its looking more like cptsd and autism is going to be a diagnosis. I dont have a psychiatrist atm as bpd scares them all off, I I have my first appointment with a new one soon with the same place I see my psychologist weekly. Where I struggle is. Ever since my son was born, my wife and her family put me down about anything I did. It took 6 months before I reached out for help thinking I was going insane. And then the cmht told the police I hated my son and I got an avo taken out against me. It was later dropped in court. But ever since then. My family, her family have done everything humanely possible to make me look like I am a problem and its my mental health etc. I have done dbt & cbt. I have a psychiatric assistance dog. I was taking my meds as prescribed. And yeah I did self harm and hurt myself intentionally alot. I have been in icu once and er multiple times. A psych ward doesn't help me and do get extremely distressed in there. I got told that sui is manipulative adter I woke up on life support by a cmht manager cause I complained about their actions forced me to take that action on myself. I got read the story of the boy who cries wolf from cmht. Told if I didnt drink monster that I wouldnt experience what i called abuse. My mum made herself my next of kin, they proceeded to tell her I wasnt trying. Thing is. I done my best. I havent seen my son since jan. I dont get to say anything or see him. I am scared of her, so I shut up. My parents finance everything for her. I feel worthless. He is 4, I have gone at least twice not seeing him for 6+ months cause I am scared she will do anything to ensure I kill myself. I look back and check the facts and I really never did anything wrong, I tried to be a good dad and make good decisions. I was just told I was wrong and would get isolated for saying anything. It continues now. I get labelled as crazy and they get to keep up this silent treatment. Ignore anything I say. And according to the law they are doing everything ok. I found myself once again on the sanctioned site learning where I went wrong all these past attempts. I dont wanna fk it up, I dont wanna die. But saying I have to live for my son I don't see. whilst being gaslit by everyone and watching them get validated for hurting me. I dont know where to turn