This bipolar life
Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.
Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.
Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.
Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.
Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope
Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.
Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.
I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!
Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.
So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.
I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!
Be lots of lollies at a kids party...mmmmmm lollies.
I ate crackers in bed.
Had good day. Dog behaviourist and trainer popped over to assess progress. Super good. Positive. Amazing.
I even think he was sussing me out for taking on some of the clients / work for behaviour consults.
Food for thought.........
However if fuel costs keep sky-rocketing and next year my public transport options become 3hrs commute one way, I'm going to be unemployed.
I won't be able to afford to go to work, or basically survive on 5hrs sleep a day.
This is absolutely disgusting what this world is coming to.
Good to see the excise cut helped for 2 weeks. We KNOW that's not the issue.
If this goes this way I'll absolutely lose everything I worked so hard for, while unemployed by choice people get things thrown at them. I'm so angry.
Oh Velvet. Sending virtual hugs. I saw someone else post on Instagram about the rising cost of living; food, fuel, insurances. I wish I had a pot of gold and I could share it around.
I’ve done too much today. It doesn’t serve me well to run around. Did all the bedding need washing? Not really. Did I need to make homemade muffins? Nope. Now a I have to clean up the kitchen mess. Why do we do this to ourselves?
It's pure greed run by the upper 2% wealthy people. Because you know, they need more money. I'm disgusted by so much today. I truly hope there is a stock market crash like we saw in the 1920s. Might even the playing field a bit then.
Using super to purchase a home? Yep. Ok. Watch the prices inflate even further just like the large first home owners grant for building prompted a couple years ago and funny how many companies are now in liquidation and the money has gone. Corruption. These homes that will be sold this time, in theory, are probably on the portfolios of these politicians. Oh look again more self serving greed.
I will share a laugh ehhehehe. Tried to make arancini balls. They're arancini flats.
Keeping my eyes open for any reasonable job closer to home now to prepare. Well I will be toward the end of the year because by then I'll know about restructure at work.