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This bipolar life

Kazzl
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

9,836 Replies 9,836

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

asdff

I think most teens think parents overshare and are embarrassing. I have an adult child who is critical of my texts too confusing. Sometimes I feel with children no matter how old or young as a parcel.

it is easy to do the wrong thing in their eyes!!

When I first discovered ebay I bought so much stock for my shop including 144 toothbrushes as they were cheap that I had to ban myself from ebay!! Aries and asdff Is there an item you have bought on ebay and wished you had not???

Oh plenty Quirky. Especially when hypomanic. My last phase I thought I’m going to set up an at home business. Selling/sending/posting inspirational gift boxes with inspirational gift items. Think bracelets, rings etc with messages on them. My friend said yeah great idea. Cue me buying stuff to sell. Me two weeks later, what am I doing? It takes me a little while to realise it’s manic behaviour. Most of the little items have now been sold.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

with my former husband I would buy items and hide them so he would not see them.

That sounded like a good idea. Did you sell them online or to friends?

I often would just give items away after a spending spree as it was the thrill not the item I craved.

Hi All
Have just been catching up on everyone's posts. I've been busy decorating our living room. A new painting, rug, lamps and new coffee table and side tables. The lounge comes next week. I've brought the decorative stuff online. I've been happy with most of it. It's my daughter's hens night on Saturday. We are staying the night at a hotel in the city. There is going to be Sumba dancers and topless waiters lol. It should be fun. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Quirky, Hubby can see what I have bought. They only cost a few dollars each. Sold online. For me, it’s the thrill of the item arriving like a gift in the post. The other thrill is if I sell it for a profit. Darn BP brain.

Lisa, the Hens Night should be a hoot. I laugh so much at those sort of events. My teen daughter would love to redecorate everything in our house. She often tells me. I do wish she was less opinionated!!

Airies
Community Member

Lisa, sounds like you will have a ball,enjoy. In regards to regrets on EBay, to,name a few years ago a mobile phone which was a fake, fishing rods which broke first time, of late an electric bike pump which died after 2 months. Am still waiting for a replacement, so in the meantime brought another floor pump after putting the one which had served me well on the nature strip and yesterday I clicked on the wrong thing twice didn’t need the second lot.

Asdff you and I are so alike. I love the anticipation of the chase, the knock on the door. Also thanks to COVID there’s no other choice due to shortages.
Hope everyone’s ok. Summer around the corner and then Xmas. Phew

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Aries Velvet Asdff Lisa

Online and eBay I often put things in my basket or watch items then forget. I find that satisfying and only buy or bid if I really want someth8ng and it is a bargain. Yes I like the thrill of having something delivered .

I got the "pick this item up and the post office".

Not impressed. They didn't even leave their truck. Caught on camera.

In other news, the doggo thing I was cranky about... turns out I was right. The surrender form had 1 lot if info and the convo on the phone between President and the surrendering owner was completely different. The president didn't cross check verbal vs written. This dog indeed was mistreated. His behaviour didn't lie to me!!!

So the chick I had issues with was also not given the true story.

"But we are only volunteers".... that won't cut it in a court for liability sweetpea.

So my friend and I will work on doccumenting procedures. Urgh

El et glad you worked out what had happen with doggy znd that you were right.

one would assume there would be cross check with written and verbal statements. There needs to be correct information .
I hope the documentation is not too difficult a process.

Hi Everyone,

Just dropping by to say hello.

Someone mentioned "Oversharing", that can be a little embarrassing at times when you suddenly realise just how much you have shared!

On the other hand, it may also give the person/people listening an opportunity to share some of their own experiences or to be aware it is okay to do so if they need to.

I work at a reception desk. I sometimes hear all kinds of conversations, some could be regarded as over sharing. I am willing to listen. Some people just need to chat.

I've never bought anything online! On a downer I can imagine purchasing stuff would be very rewarding! Short term gain, maybe a bit like binge eating!

Cheers all