This bipolar life
Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.
Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.
Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.
Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.
Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope
Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.
Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.
I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!
Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.
So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.
I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!
Is it rising and pouring here hours from a home. As. Gran I have learnt I know little about modern child rearing but am willing to learn.
what practices have others found have changed over the years , not technology but more ways of doing things that have changed. Like at school we had repen through our work now full of stickers and praise.
Been so busy. The last 2 weeks I've done 12-16k steps every single day. I'm a bit tired. Fried. Feel bad this week has been gym fail for the last 3 days. Between work and house work I'm flat out daily for 12hrs a day.
Lisa I'm up at going by 5am. Mostly due to my body clock and the rowdy birds outside. Then I get into work a bit earlier too.
Dreams. I had a wierd one this last week but it didn't leave a lasting affect the way they used to. Maybe because I'm too tired to care? Haha.
Glad you met the bubba Quirky. Babies terrify me!!! No idea why. Defective female I guess ahhaa.
Hope you're all ok.
Quirky, there was a newborn crying in the supermarket today. At the checkouts, I wanted to reach into the pram and cuddle it. It makes me very uncomfortable to hear babies crying. I feel they cry for a reason, go and help this little soul. After what felt like ten minutes, Mum reached in and got the bubba out. What a cutie. I love them when they are small. Toddlers are like teens, they talk back. Boy oh boy, my Teen girl can talk back. She could Captain of the Debating Team.
As for how I am feeling, rubbish. Like a dull thudding headache constantly. Nauseous. Husband and Teen Demon, I mean daughter have a sore throat. My throat isn’t sore. I need to vacuum but no sure that is the best idea.
Velvet, that amount of steps means you don’t need to go to the gym. I am good with giving advice, not taking it! Lol
Airies, enjoy your getaway. Quirky, enjoy the grandchildren.