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This bipolar life
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Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.
Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.
Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.
Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.
Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope
Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.
Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.
I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!
Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.
So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.
I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!
Love
Kaz
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hi all,
I saw the physiatrist during the week. He suggested upping my meds. So we are going to do that and monitor my moods.
Hooray for Lisa being back face to face teacher. Huge high 5’s for being a teacher. At the moment it would be an air 5, no touching.
Airies, good on you for trying to tame the PTSD beast. All of our issues are a beast and forever untameable. How about manageable? With assistance.
Hi Quirky, Velvet and everyone else.
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Asdff are you ok about having your medications increased, I suppose it will be very gradual.
I can understand why you were annoyed with your family.
Assignments are tricky I was too involved, with one child I would either nag too much or end up helping. I do not envy you.
I hope your weekend gets better.
A big hello to everyone. How are people feeling being out of lockdown for those who were in it.
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Happy Month everyone .
I have met my new grandchild for first time and she is several months old.
I was so happy I cried.
Anyone have any happy news to share as well as things that are not going to well.
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Asdff
thanks I am glad your children enjoyed trick or treating.I hope you manage a rest or some new time soon.
Aries, Lisa, Velvet how are you all. .?
A big wave to everyone reading .
I read it was a public holiday in Victoria today I was curious for a minute as to what public holiday would be in November. I suppose I am in a different state and and a different state of mind!!
During lockdown did not have much social interaction outside my home so seeing fami,y is great but tiring.
does anyone else find mornings difficult .?
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Hi All,
Quirky I wake up early between 5-6am every morning. It takes me a while to get going. I like to take my time. I leave home at 7.15 to get to work by 8. On the weekend I like lazy mornings where I can just sit until I feel motivated to move. I don't wake up grumpy. I'm seeing my psych on Thursday. I hope everyone is having a good start to the week.
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Lisa
if I have a disturbing dream I have those intense emotions when I wake up and can be hours before I feel ok.
5 to 6 am rather you than me!!!
Hello everyone .