Surviving: Being in a better place
Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.
I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.
The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.
My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.
Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.
I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders
Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky
If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.
BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.
I know that now.
Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩❤️💋👩..Magic and everyone...🤗..
Deebi...I’m super proud of you..not going back to gambling..Very well done bbff..
I hope that they do, do a mri scan of your entire back muscles and spine..that’s what I would be doing for you if I was the specialist looking after you...I’m going to really have to have a word or two with them...
Moving the hot water bottles away from my feet, seem to have eased of that bruised feeling from my heals...It’s still under the blankets but not close enough for my feet to rest on it...
It’s nice getting out for a drive and relaxing while watching the scenery pass you by...Is it the same mhw you were seeing before?...I remember how much he was a good help for you, when you needed someone to chat to....
So nice hearing your good mentally, and your happy and content with Mr. Beautiful...you so much deserve to be spoilt and treated with love, care and kindness...I too am so happy for you...and love hearing that he looks after you is priceless dearest bbff...
Please continue to fill your adorable brain with the love, happiness you get from Mr. Beautiful...You deserve nothing less...
Love you as well Auntie Deebi...always here for you..Never leaving your side ...💜🦋🌹🤗👩❤️💋👩..
Sending my care, love and hugs to all..🦋💜🤗.
Hi Magic 🐒 Grandy 👩❤️👩 & anyone reading 👋
Thank you both for your time support and concern. Comforting isn't it.
Thanks Monks he's a dear sweet man 😍
Our loves deep and lasting I know.
Very easy to be with the darling.
Gambling I gave up for 10 plus yrs but really oopsed badly a few mths ago.
Was like the many yrs I continually screwed our lives gambling.
I won't do anymore oopses again if I do go back but debts first.
It's so easy to lose and fast as you know. They don't pay out often or for long. Be careful lovey.
Thought the swine back was coming good. I'm being SO careful but a slight catch just standing up earlier. It gets ya.
Thanks heaps Grandy love ☺ yip still paying debts off.
Think I've caught rent back up now.
If I ever return to them it'll be a while yet and no repeats of previous yrs botches.
Off the durries too btw. How are you going darlz? I often wonder but forget to ask.
Haha 🤗 I love that you're going to have words with the Doctors 😀 you're so gorgeous.
Awesome about your feet. Wonder if the heat pads might be ok could be the angles your feet were on the hotties.
Yes he's such a good guy the mhw. It is nice going for blats. Mr beautiful comes too the gorgeous.
Glad too that you're ok mentally darlin. I'll pop over tomoz sweetyheart 💗
Auntie Deebie will never leave your side either beautiful.
Love you very much dear Grandy 🤗👩❤️👩💜🗯🦋🌹🌈
Oh thank you for that sweet gentle goodnight.
Same to you sweety have a beautiful pain free restful sleepy.
Love to you too Magic 🐒 take care both of you and thank you again ☺
Hello BeaDeebi 👩❤️💋👩...and everyone..🤗..
I hope your day was good and you’re feeling okay...
I also hope that your not to upset with me taking on a new role here...I am still me..and I’ll still be chatting to you daily or even more then once...Soul spirit sister is never leaving your side...please trust and believe me..🤗💜..
I was trying to work out ways to tell you..then everything happened today....
Im pleased your still seeing you’re mhw and Mr. Deebi as well..I believe when two people love each other..That they should do as much as possible together..He sounds a wonderful man..and very caring and helpful to you...
I still have an occasional ciggie..I know I shouldn’t it..but it’s my go to when I need calming down...
I spoke to the phone councillor today and told her that my Dr..told me that I should stay with VC...she was okay about it...That was really hard for me to do...
I don’t want anything to change between us...I’m here for you unconditionally and love you dearly...💜🤗👩❤️💋👩🕊🌱..always will because your a part of my life now..💜👩❤️💋👩🤗..
care, love and hugs everyone...🦋💜🤗..
Hello Beautiful Deebi👩❤️💋👩..and everyone..🤗..
What was you day like today bbff...
I hope you have better weather then I have here..The sun is out but cold damp winds are coming from the snow falling onto of a mountain 70 klms away...
Just popping in to make sure your keeping nice and warm..and to ask you how’s your mental and physical health holding out lovely lady?...🕊..
Also I wanted to wish you a beautiful deep sleep..with the most peaceful dreams that there ever is...of fairies, dragons, pixies, munchkins and dinosaurs all sitting around a campfire 🔥..singing so gently and sweetly so that you’ll wake up tomorrow morning refreshed and calm...
Good night bbff...your in my 💭 and 💜..4eva..Love you dearest bbff...Your a beautiful friend...and hope so much that you are still want to be my SSS...🕊🌱🌹🌈☀️🧸🤗👩❤️💋👩
My love, care and hugs everyone....💜🦋🤗.
Dear DB (with a wave to Grandy)~
I haven't spoken to you for a while. I might be being silly but I though perhaps you'd worry with Grandy becoming a Champ. It won't make any difference except she will probably worry a bit more herself to start with, no reason why really, Grandy will always be the same. It is how she is that got her to be a champ.
If I've assumed too much I apologize , I simply did not want you to think it might become a bar -it won't.
Other than that giving up the cigs, a big thing, and after the relapse going back to no gambling. two very difficult things, but you do have it in you, after all look how long it was till that relapse came, you know the signs and have more experience now.
I'm glad the debts are reducing and you have a good man. The back, well if it is like mine then there aren't that many choices, they seem to have a mind of their own, one day the thing you have done for ages sets them off.
The ordinary pain is livable I guess, but the spasm, that is another thing -off to A&E.
Grandy may be right in a full MRI might point out something easy to do a minor operation on, you never know.
Hello Beautiful Deebi👩❤️💋👩...and everyone...
Awe honey please don’t ever feel that way...You’re always supporting me...So please bbff never be sorry to me about anything....You’re never far away from me...especially when I get triggered and find myself lost and confused...and Just looking for someone I know who loves and cares for me to help remind me and guide me into the right direction to get me out of my head...You’re one amazing and super special friend..That I love 💜 and can’t even think about my life without you in it...We are joined by our hearts/souls and spirit precious friend...
I sneaked passed you..haha you fell asleep watching tv..and put some yummy porridge, with brown sugar and honey into your microwave..and a cup of big pot of percolating coffee on the stove top..on low heat...You will wake tomorrow with the refreshing aroma of coffee circulating in the air....ohh..oh..and of course..wait for it... drum 🥁 roll...a beautiful.. 💼...freshly picked rose 🌹..and some fresh strawberries 🍓....Enjoy sweetheart..
Good night for now bbff..I hope your sleep is deep and refreshing for you....Love you dearest bbff..so very much..💜🌹🕊🦋🌱..
How are you feeling...Both physically and mentally..” truth”.. I really want and need to know..
My care, love and hugs to everyone..🦋💜🤗..