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Surviving: Being in a better place

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi all πŸ™‚
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

 

4,788 Replies 4,788

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi beautiful Deebi.πŸ€—..

Such a gentleman is your precious Mr.Deebi...Give him a thank you hug from me please...I love listening how he is looking after you...

Deebi...Not sure here..but I’m sure there is an organisation that fit those handles over the top of the bed so you can pull yourself up easier....The ones they have in hospital...Better still a hospital bed would be better to help you sit up with the remote control..before you start getting out of bed...Probably me just day dreaming again..I’m not sure if they are available to buy or rent...

Oh poor bbff’s foot..please dearest friend speak to your Dr. about..I know you can have quarter zone injected straight into the inflamed damaged area to ease it off...Betty had years ago the same..had the quarter zone and the pain never came back...Maybe...it might be something for you to really think hard about honey...Wish I could take all your hurt away...

Deebi...honey, once pain starts to interfere with our daily lives..and limits your movements and what you have/want or need to do...It really is time to get the Drs. Professionals etc..to fully understand how much it’s impacting on your life...and start talking about what your options are...to fix these problems...and not just send you home without helping you to at least start to heal...

I hope today was better for you bbff...

Love you heaps, and in my πŸ’­..πŸ’“πŸ’­.

Care, love and hugs everyone..πŸ¦‹πŸ’œπŸ€—.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy...πŸ•ŠπŸŒ±πŸŒΉ

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey gorgeous bbff πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© and any readers ☺

Thank you sweetyheart you're such a beautiful caring soul. You're so appreciated precious πŸ€—

Yip there's definately something needs to be done about the damned foot. I've heard about and seen my partner getting the needles 😲 oh baby no hurry but yip might have to.

I thought I'd see more about it after the back visits. When the vacuum hit it ohhh cripes it hurt. Eases off then any walking stirs it again. Bit suss if something maybe torn. Maybe xrays don't know but I will look into more.

We had a walky this eve it was nice. Had a few stops it wasnt to far but hard when I'm not used too.

No day sleep today did the πŸ’ƒinstead. Good news Betty not having pain again. What a giant relief.

I'd dearly love a remote bed huns. The screaming pain in the past and at times now is just cruel. Thought I was going ok yesterday and the mutt caught a beaut sitting down. It plays on you doesn't it.

Hope your days been a good one honeyheart and for everyone that goes ☺

Lots of Love dear Grandy. You too you're tucked away in my heart beautiful friend.

You know what gets me is I can't accept how it is for us not being able to meet. I feel it's not fair. Just can't it really gets me!

Take care precious Grandz you mean so much lovely lady πŸ€—πŸ˜š

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ’ƒπŸ˜ thanks hun I did tell him the dear love looked so pleased oh he's a gorgeous love.

πŸ•ŠπŸŒ±πŸ’—πŸ—―πŸ§

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Good morning beautiful Deebi πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©..and everyone..πŸ€—..

I hope your day is as warm and sunny where you are in this beautiful universe....

Deebi...I hope so much that you will consider the quarter zone injections..(haha..I can’t spell it)...I remember how when my foot was sore with plantar fasciitis the amount of pain it caused on my whole body....and so many tears...please honey..maybe give it a try...I know if mine ever came back again, as scared as I am of the injection I am 100% know that I would go the quarter zone shot...I’m deeply sorry that it continues to hurt for you...

It gets me as well honey..so much wish it was different...hopefully one day, we can find each other somehow...Then the 😒 will turn into πŸ˜‚...

Not sure what your big hospital appointment is for..honey if it’s for your neck, shoulder and back...please please don’t hold back at all in letting the specialist/Dr..know just how badly it’s hurting and is interrupting your daily living....

Its good to see the sun shining and feel the warmth from the sun on my skin...been freezing and cloudy the past few days....I’m sitting out front and the sun is very medicinal and healing....I hope you have a beautiful spot you can find to just sit down and watch the universal tv program Mother Nature has put on today...

Your little activity page is coming along just fine..I was so happy to hear that Mr.Deebi is going with you..beautiful company makes the trip easier...

Much Deep sisterly love πŸ’— and bear hugs..πŸ§ΈπŸ€—..for my bbff...πŸ•ŠπŸŒ±..

love, hugs and care everyone listening here..πŸ’œπŸ€—πŸ¦‹..

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy...πŸ¦‰πŸ§ΈπŸ¦‹πŸŒˆβœ¨

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hey beautiful Grandy πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© and everyone ☺

As always so lovely seeing you and such a gorgeous visit πŸ€— thank you lovely.

I too hope your day was beautiful and sunny too yikes sounds chilly where you are ❄ The days here are often sunny and lovely.

Shudder yip I'll probs be wise to go the injections ick but later after these appts with neuro surgeon (this one coming) then neurologists a bit after.
With luck I can do them both same time. Have written notes.
I'm unsure if neck or back coming up.

Ohh the back catches at various times. For a few days I was ok to sit in my chair slowly and Yizzaar 😲😨oohhh it caught a beauty. It makes you scared to do things. Cripes it hurts like a beep beep and beep πŸ˜„ lucky I'm being such a lady...must be asleep 😴

Somehow huns. Geez I wish and I know you too wish 😒 we're such good besties and so close.

I often think about you saying about the sun having goods in it for us and think I must get out in it. And when I hear the birdies or see stars same. Well I often think about you fullstop πŸ’œ beautiful soul sissy.
Hope you had some nice nature outside time on our veranda βœ¨πŸŒžπŸ•ŠπŸ—―πŸ€πŸΆπŸ©

Haha πŸ˜€ loving the sound of my activity page. You're such a treasure sweetyheart.

Deep sisterly love back at you and πŸ»πŸ€— precious friend.
PubAok lysvm awyis yadimh sss bbff gg πŸ˜šπŸ’—

Take good care Grandy love. Thank you for being such a magical awesome bbff πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œ

πŸ•ŠπŸŒ±βœ¨πŸŒžπŸ€πŸ’—

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Beautiful Deebi...

Im sorry honey..I couldn’t sleep last night and been snoozing on and off all day...

I haven’t forgot today..and I’m wishing you all the best luck in the world...

Ohhh..Here we go beautiful bbff...

Something to keep your mind occupied..

Deebi’s Activity pack.....


UNSCRAMBLE THE WORDS...
infderphis...
eautfbliu....
lveertingas...


FILL IN THE BLANKS...

N _ _u _ e. b r_ng_ us p_ _ ce
L _ v _ Y_ _ _ ee _ i
Un _ _ n _ _ t io _ a _ly

THIS ROSE 🌹HAS A RED, WHITE, LAVENDER, PINK & YELLOW PETALS...Can you write down 3 positive words, starting with the first letter of each colour for each petal?..

NAME 5 Beautiful things you see on your trip...

HOW MANY WORDS CAN YOU MAKE FROM MY SCRABBLED WORD.....HPISDIERNF

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE 10 LETTER WORD IS UNSCRAMBLED?.......

Deep Love dearest bbff.πŸ•ŠπŸŒ±πŸŒΉπŸ¦‹πŸ’œπŸ€—πŸ§Έ..

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

πŸ˜€ hey my beautiful bbff πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©

You are so gorgeous. On way home it's tricky writing while in the car so I'll catch you later sweetyheart.

You're so sweet thank you beautiful soul

I didnt sleep that well either. Hope you're feeling more energy gorgeous and getting good dozes 😴

πŸ•ŠπŸ€πŸŒ±

Love you heaps huns πŸ€—πŸ˜šπŸ’—

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Heya gorgeous aren't you clever at putting nifty things together πŸ˜€ love it thanks so much sweetyheart. I'm going to play more tomoz.

Sooo cool. Oh I know the 10 letter word but in case anyone else is looking I won't say πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œ

Phoo such a big day blaghh I'm not a traveller at all. So glad Mr 😍 beautiful could come.

It was pretty much not really needed. Not in long then a couple of tests to see if my legs are working properly a bit of a chat.

Another MRI in the csf area which has been very painful at times too but sounding different to csf which I knew was more like this other area pain. So another big trip blagh. They're keeping an eye on the csf syrinx which is good. I think every yr.

There's something on my brain stem that could be a weird blood vessel but they think I was born with it. So apparently ok.

It seems the last MRI last yr? didnt do the area of my back that's kicking up. It's been a very bad issue for yrs. I told him the pain but think I'll email them and say how its been for yrs and hoping he's/will request the MRI for that part too. God it's ruling my life but when/if it doesnt pain me after a while Im ok walking but avoiding bending or lifting. Horrid. Scared to do certain things including going to the loo first thing and sitting in the chair.

Oh so tired huns. Hope you caught up lovely one.

Again thank you so much for your beautiful activity page. You're so lovely Grandy and caring/loving.

Love you very much too and appreciate you so much.

Not sure if you had work yesterday, if so hope you went ok honeyheart.

Nigh nite everyone ☺ night sweety ☺😚

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ€πŸ•ŠπŸ˜πŸ»πŸ€—πŸŒ±πŸŒž

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Beautiful DeebiπŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©..and everyone..πŸ€—..

Im pleased you like the activity page..I started a new thread called unscramble my word..I like word games, it helps to get me a little brighter and some distraction while I’m trying to unscramble them....

I really hope they do a mri on the part of your back that’s hurting... Sometimes I don’t understand why they don’t do the scan in the hurting area...So happy to hear they are looking after your csf spring fluid part of your pain....Another trip soon awe honey that’s okay...They are trying to help you sweetheart and that’s so good..I’ll be right their next to you all the way..

Deebi..I’m noticing that my heels are again begging to be painful on first steps out of bed..and through out the day...I’m thinking that the hot water bottle and on waking wearing socks and slippers are causing it...Maybe two much heat is swelling up again the planta fasciitis again...I’m wondering if you’re also..now it’s winter wearing socks and keeping your feet warm..maybe to warm..just a thought, because I noticed that it’s hurting you more since the cold weather started...I’ve now not going to use my hot water bottle nor wear socks..I’ll let you know if it eases off again..

Im sorry Deebi..that you’re to scared to do certain things because of your back..No sweety that’s not good, with the pain ruling your life...I hope the Drs..look deeper into all this for you...and find out how to help you...

Sleep as much as you need Deebi...I know you live your sleep..plus it’s needed for healing and sleeping gives your mind a small holiday away from Beasty..

Love grows beautiful friend...πŸ’œπŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©πŸ¦‹πŸŒΉ..big comfy bear hugs..πŸ§ΈπŸ€—...I hope you can feel my care for you through them...

Sending my care, love and hugs to everyone..πŸ¦‹πŸ’œπŸ€—.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy....πŸŒΉπŸŒ±πŸ•ŠπŸŒˆπŸ’­..

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi there gorgeous bbff πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© and all lovelies out there ☺

Thanks sweety for another beautuful visit πŸ€—

Cool I'll go and see the unscramble my word thread. Great idea huns.
Things that make us think on something different is a good thing and expanding our minds we need.

Yes I thought they would have done the other area too. I'm hopeful cause he took notes when I said about it all.
In the past I didnt go to a specialust cause as a gambler no $ to travel to the places.

Btw haven't been back to gambling. Still paying back debts sigh.

I hope you can find a way of easing your heels yes I'd like to know how you go.
Hun maybe you could do the hotty then remove it when you hop into bed sounds freezing at your place.
No I don't yet need either but my gorgeous does have slippers on.

Oh darl true about sleep what you say. Geez I can't believe how much I do.
Good mentally so happy comfy and content with this dear man he's such a love 😍

We went for a drive and did a couple of things yesterday with awesome mhw which was really good.

Absolutely love grows darlingheart πŸ€—
Thank you for being such a beautiful friend.
Love you very much darlin always

Please take good care sweetyheart
πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ˜šπŸ€—πŸŒˆβœ¨πŸ•ŠπŸ©πŸΆπŸ•ŠπŸ—―πŸ‘€

Hey DB,

Really happy for you that you've found a great man :-)

I gamble too. Lotto and the pokies. The other day I was up nearly $500 then lost it all and then some. Kicking myself I didn't just take it out. I have typical gamblers fever thinking I'll win more.

Oh well, better luck next time.

Sorry bout all your pains...

You're quite tough to keep on keeping on...

Love
Monkey.