Surviving: Being in a better place
Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.
I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.
The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.
My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.
Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.
I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders
Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky
If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.
BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.
I know that now.
Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩❤️💋👩....and everyone...🤗..
I hope your blood tests went good and not too sore for you..
I’ll come with you and mr Deebi..on your hospital appointment....I’ll bring all my Doctoring equipment...just in case..I’ve made up a Drs bag 🧰...and put some things in it..💉💊🔬...🦠oops not that....just in case a 🚬 to calm me down...You’ll be okay honey...I’ll take good care of you...🤗..
I hope your feeling good bbff...Love you sss...yadimh and always 💭...👭💜🦋🧸🤗..
Good night Deebi....I hope your dreams are positive and beautiful..and your sleep is refreshing...🐩🐕🐆🐅..Big cuddles from my furs to your furs..
Love and hugs everyone..💜🤗.
🤗 Grandy Floss 👩❤️👩 hi everyone 😀
☺ You're a sweety aren't you yes thanks the blood went fine she was brilliant.
😂 Love so much that you're coming with us hope they don't need the seat that Mr 😍 will have. Happy it's so quick for the appt. Not too far off.
Wow sleeping or what phooey. Mr gorgeous gets up earlier than me but then most of the world would 😅. Then arvo one together. We were so content last night holdi g hands watching tv so it was quite late then as has been happening poor loves leg hurts quite often. I massage that seems to help but horrid times in the wee hrs.
😅 You're so gorgeous with your Dr's bag love all your goodies. 😂 🚬 for you 😂 you're the best hun. We laughed at your antics. Adore you blossom 🤗 Geez I wish you too could come with us.
Thank you for your beautiful visit.
Oh we had a little out again with Mr l😍ves housemates and yum takeaways but ate there.
Good thanks beautiful just troubles getting out of bed and I love Mr 😍 company and TV or if we shopping or out etc. Dunno. So comfy cosy.
Love you Mrs Grandy thank you for such an incredible close friendship worth every bit of choccy in the world.
You too lovey sleep well huns everyone that's our main strength in enough sleep.
Hello Dearest Deebi👩❤️💋👩..
I hope you are feeling well honey...Mentally and physically..
If it’s okay bbff I’ll bbt...My eyes don’t want to stay open...Im tired..I needed to pop in and wish you a lovely deep sleep with some beautiful dreams...before I can go to sleep...
Love to you my dearest bbff..💜🤗🦋🧸🤗🕊🧸🐕..
Good night Deebi....💜...and everyone.
Hi sweety bbff 👩❤️👩 and all nice people 👋
You're a sweety and so tired but you came in to say goodnight 😴
Thanks darlin. Yikes hurt my back last nignt getting dressed after shower god it hurt and today pretty average hard walking but can. Had a 💊 later we slept and it caught twice more after being up 😨😢 dear Mr 😍 helping me.
Otherwise good huns thanks.
Love you heaps beautiful friend pubAok yadimh awyis bbff lysvm
Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩❤️💋👩...and everyone...🤗,
Awe.... I’m sorry you hurt your back again...To much pain for you on a daily basis...I’m upset that the Drs, aren’t looking into it further and helping you more then they are...They should be investigation why the pain comes and work out a way to fix it for you....
Thats okay to sleep as much as you can..would a pillow each side of you help a little by keeping you more still plus the pillow maybe help with a bit of support...
I love take a way fish n chips..can’t buy here, takes half hour to get home, then they are cold and greasy..Don’t like reheated fish or chips....I’m pleased you enjoyed your take a way....
I had my pelvis and hips x - ray today...now have to wait for results to get in...
Hun I’m concerned about you big hospital appointment...I will definitely be coming with you..even if I have to ride my 🚜, or 🚲 and tie it to the bumper bar of the bus...or maybe I can put a chair on the top of the bus..then tie it down..put my blanket you made me around my shoulders and be like granny in the Beverly Hillbillies...(loved that show)...
Good night precious friend..big love and care bbff..💜🧸🤗🦋🕊..
I hope you sleep good and deeply..Here you go honey 2 very soft fluffy 💭💭 pillows to protect your back...Scented with Jonquils...
kind thoughts with love and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗🕊.
😊bbff 👩❤️👩 and all hiyaz 👋
You're a love arent you precious friend.
You're so sweet being worried for me pretty sure this appt coming up is for back/neck so not long. They did a full MRI there so have fairly recentish xrays.
Oh it's rare I don't finish a post from you smiling or laughing you're a classic. Good ole Granny I watched it but found it a bit depressing the hillbillies. Love the look tho hun 😂 you're sweet coming with us. I hope Mr 😍 gets to come if they don't need the seat. Be devo'd if not. Yes lovey I think the 🚜 & 🚲 together should do the job. You're such a dear friend thank you.
Oh and how good are those pillows just love them thanks so much hun and how sweet Jonquil scent. Ohh heaven. They really are so comfy. You're a creative clever lady aren't you my lovely one 🤗
Yip walking a little easier. Had another med helps and hot packs. Scared to bend at all now geepers 😐 darling helps me with a lot the sweety.
Good luck with those Xrays lovey it'll be good knowing eh. Helps with fixing. I was wondering if you had more things to have done.
Thanks so much beautiful friend. Love you very much and care just as deeply. Hope you too get good comfy rest and well slept up.
Nigh nite Blossom 😚🤗
Hello beautiful Deebi👩❤️💋👩...and all....🤗.
How are you my precious bbff.?
Have been thinking a lot about you today..as I always do..and wanted to send to you a beautiful sparkling crystal jar, filled with some pure white pearls, they are a perfect gem for you Deebi...they symbolise for the owner Innocence, beauty, purity, and new beginnings...all the sweet beautiful traits that you have embedded into your 💓..
I’m deeply sorry that your back is being so sore for you..I have heard that celery is good for the back inflammation. Not sure if it work on yours..being from the spine....I wish so much that I could wave a magic wand and poof..your pain and back would be all fixed....I’m sorry that’s not possible...
Take it slowly with walking Deebi..I feel so much better that you have a strong and beautiful partner to care for you...I’m pleased that you’re nearly inseparable...👫...
Im making you a little activity pack for your upcoming bus trip to the big hospital...not sure what I’ll put in it yet..I want to put some things in it for you to keep your mind away from Beasty and all the crap he talks, while your on your trip to hospital....
I’m about to 👵 💤...for a little while...I hope you’ve been sleeping enough and your mental and physical health are the best they can be, so you can enjoy today..
Thank you dearest bbff..yours always in my 💭 and my 💓..with deep love and care..
Love and hugs..to everyone..💜🤗..
As always so lovely seeing you and thank you for that beautiful jar of pearls.
So sweet Grandy 🤗 I love them.
Thanks so much for your support in every way and for my back.
Ohh Grandy when it catches it's really friggen painful.
I'm so scared getting out of bed, it's really slow or doing much at all for that matter.
Short couple of seconds of torture then stiff fragile and so wary.
Mentally good tho thanks hun ☺ altho the back gets to you like pain does as we know.
How's your hip/groin btw?
Oh darl he's such a dear precious man 👫 Thanks beautiful he's so easy to love and be with the darling 😍
😆 you're so cute making me an activity pack.
You're another that's incredibly easy to love. Thank you beautiful friend ☺
Oh I keep adding things to your 🎁 but haven't made it yet properly clearly 😆
Feel a bit stink actually cause so long waiting but definately thoughts quite often.
I know you'd be ok about it but yeh.
Most days we 💤 which I love and very rare it affects our night sleeps.
I think about how well you're going getting into routine but gotta say 8am terrifies me 😂
You too Grandz honestly always strong in my thoughts.
Really love and care so much about you beautiful lady 💜
I want you to know happiness peace and have confidence to do what you want lovely one 🤗
You're absolute magic hun we have such a beautiful relationship.
PubAok yAdimh awyis bbff lysvm.
Couldn't ask for a better bbff 👩❤️👩💜
Nigh nite good people 😊⚘
Hello beautiful Deebi👩❤️💋👩, and everyone...🤗..
How are you precious bbff?...
Ive been a bit slack replying to you...Always 💭 Of you though..never a day passes that your not in my 💭, for the truth never an hour, nope half hour passes that your not in my 💭...👩❤️💋👩💜😚..
You’re activity’s page is coming along just fine..and will be ready for your trip into the hospital on the 8/7..Is you’re lively Mr.D able to go with you?..I hope so...if he’s not their physically he will be their with you in spirit like I will be...
I have rung the professionals looking after you at the hospital and told them to give you their best kind and caring selves that they are..and I’ll be watching them to make sure they do..Big sister is watching out for you..👩🦳..
Thats okay bbff, take your time with my 🎁..I know it comes from your beautiful heart, and will be a special treasure for me..to keep in my 💓 forever...
Im pleased Mr Deebi likes his hat and scarf I made him..and wears it to bed nightly..that’s so cute..💂♀️..
Im sorry your scared to get out of bed with you’re back..poor honeyheart, maybe if you have one of those walkers you could put it close to you and ease yourself out very slowly using the walker as support..but make sure the brakes are on or else you’ll be slipping at 100 klm per hour out to breakfast..😂..ooh..maybe I should put a super fast motor on it.😂😂..just kidding Deebi....but it is a 💭 I’ll keep in mind..
Take good care of you my sweet sister...love you very much, you’re tucked away in my heart with a warm super soft blanket...💜🧸🤗💭..
My Care, love and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗..
Grandy..🕊🌱..new beginnings are possible...
Hey there bbff 👩❤️👩 and everyone ☺
You are such a bright light gorgeous lady. As always an ear to ear smile and 😂 from Mr 😍 and I.
Thank you beautful that was gorgeous.
Hun you're never slack at replies please don't
ever think that ☺ Just when you're up to huns no rush
That's so lovely about 🗯 same here. You're one of my first on waking bbff 👩❤️👩
😀 How cool my activity page sounds fantastic. You're a lot of fun Grandy 🤗
Oh so pleased you rang them to be sure they behave and knowing you'll be 👀 oh that's so comforting thank you my lovely one 😆
Yip hard getting out of bed. Very slow and careful since the last couple of catches 😨😟 about 3/4 days ago. Going ok doing that but then today just standing it caught a couple of beauties at different times Geez!
Catches in bed at times too. It's hard yakka darl.
At least I can walk these days.
Before the pain was brutal 24/7 and agony moving and getting out of bed walking etc. Cruel.
Got a neurologist telehealth on the 24th heard yesterday.
Hope to talk about my back on Weds. They're the neuro surgeons I think for my neck but I'll try anyway.
It's way more of a priority. Bloody painful. Ruling my life and movements.
Walked a bit yesterday we did some shopping. Beautiful carried the bags.
Foots hurting a lot.
He does look cute in his hat frm what I can see mostly in the dark. The precious 😍💗
I bought a tall walker a while back from op shop it's pretty new and have used it to lean on.
The troubles getting out and up from bed.
Good thoughts honeyheart thanks 🤗
Sorry this has been a bit dreary lovely it's just it takes over doesn't it when we have pain.
Sleeping a lot. It all takes it out of you but I'm a sleeper anyway.
Yes all going well the love should be ok to come with me. Really hope so.
Haha 😂 now there's a classy idea. A you beaut motorised walker. Woo hoo let's boogie baby...chooom... 🎵 what a mover she was 🎶
Hey you could patent it 😂
You're the best hun. Love you heaps.
So glad to be bbff's.
Thanks for being such a lovely person Grandy 🤗😚👩❤️👩💜