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Not in a good space

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?
1,405 Replies 1,405

Hello Katy,

I wish I could think of something wise to say to you lass... the best I can offer is a cyber cuppa & friendly ear to listen...

It's ok to for now just to put Storm back in her nanna scarf to stop her shaking her ear... if her ear is held secure then she can't make it worse & so you can wait a bit giving you some breathing space before going to the vet...

Lass have you managed to talk to the uni psych/counsellor... Em is right you shouldn't have to go through this without having their help & support...

Another week down... you can see this through... remember how often you have thought you weren't doing ok you then got a great mark... I believe you can do this...

Big hugs

Paws

Hi Katy

Did you manage to get any help today or did you need to stay under the doona? That would be understandable!

Is there a student counsellor available to help? Worth a try??

Hope you're feeling a smidgen better today.

I asked the same social worker as previously as she's the only one available here. She seems to have found her feet aa bit more and is trying to help.

Let us know how you're going. Hugs from us here 💖🐕🧚‍♂️🌿🌼😷

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello

It’s prac bothering me the most. Not prac itself but the uni. I feel like last year they wanted me to succeed on prac and this year it’s the opposite. Prac is fine. I like the role and the team are nice. They’re very supportive and accommodating around my MH issues, but the uni aren’t. So as far as I’m concerned, I’m doing my best. But if that’s not enough to tick the boxes, tell me, so we’re done here. Because I can’t be someone without MH issues. Am I making sense?

I feel quite frustrated by it all.

But… right now I’m sitting out the back in the sunshine. I always feel happy here. I feel close to my Z. The back lawn is overgrown with weeds a foot high and blooming with yellow flowers which the bees love. All this lovely unkempt nature feels calming.

Let’s have that cup of tea, Paws. I hope you’ll all join us x

I just noticed your emojis, Hanna. Quite apt choices - love, dog, nature, and my little sprite girl ♥️ I’m guessing that’s you in the mask, joining us for tea? 🙂

Hugs to all x

Hi Katy!

Yep that's me in the mask - we're one of the few regions in NSW still in hard lockdown probably until mid October at least. It's a bummer!

Spent a beautiful spring morning (sunny and warm with a breeze) picnicking by the river where it gurgles over the rocks. It's so pretty!

Now cooking a chicken and mushroom casserole in the slow cooker - smells wonderful!

So I don't understand. If the prac people are happy what's the problem with the uni? Any way you can explain here?

Sorry you're having problems. Any support from someone at the uni?

That cup of tea sounds nice. Can we have a bikkie with it?

Would be nice to chat over a cuppa!

Hugs from us here 🐕🐾😷🎶🐚🐳🎸

Hello Katy,

Well Woofa & I have just got back from buying milk & we have sat ourselves down on the couch (I'm sitting he is all snuggled up next to me) with a cuppa... so pull up a comfy chair & we can watch all the wildlife buzzing, flying & hopping around our gardens... As there is rain fast approaching I will need to watch through the window...

My yards are overgrown & I have been loving how many different critters have been visiting all the flowering weeds & eating the seeds... I agree letting it run wild & watching all the life that uses it is very calming. However Woofa will be happier when I mow it because at the moment it is far too wet for him to play.

Lass you have made perfect sense about what the problem is... given they knew you have mh issues when they offered you the choice to do honours I can understand your frustration... I know you might find it hard to do, but whether or not the uni likes how you are doing... could you try to just focus on how doing the prac you are getting wonderful experience & gaining more skills you will always have. Try to think of the uni approval as a bonus not an essential.

I currently have a fairy wren pinching bugs from the spider webs on the outside of the lounge window... the ferocious guard dog is already snoozing.

Hugs

Paws

Hi Katy

I thought you might be interested in this. Don't know if you remember I had a tenancy advocate help me when I had the dreadful gas leaks here and was in a struggle with Housing about the cost. She was great.

We'll I found an article by her online about her terrible struggle with her life long anxiety. She would be about your age I think.

She's had a terrible time so she took up the advocacy role. A lot of her work is by phone.

We'll she was an enormous support to me. So just shows there is a role for you despite the anxiety you just have to find your niche. I couldn't have got through without her.

Hope this helps encourage you!

Hugs 🙂🌼🧚‍♂️🎶

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Thank you both as I am feeling rather depressed tonight. I like the idea of focusing on what I’m learning and the skills I’m developing, as I’m actually really enjoying many aspects of prac and Ive enjoyed uni too. I’ve always known I may not graduate. I guess it just feels harder now I’m actually facing it.

Caught up with a uni friend after prac tonight. She’s already been offered employment at her placement. I’m happy for her of course, but deflates me a little too. I’d love to find an employer and a role that would be a good fit for me. Something in a “helping” role, even if it’s not with a degree would be just fine.

I wish I could stop hating myself for being so inadequate. I’m sure it’s not in the least helpful.

Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through, and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need as we know it hard going through this alone.
If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.
If you’d like there is always support which may be helpful and your always welcome to get in touch with Kids Helpline  They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. In addition there is Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.
 

Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through, and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need as we know it hard going through this alone.
If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.
If you’d like there is always support which may be helpful and your always welcome to get in touch with Kids Helpline  They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. In addition there is Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.
 

Hello Dear Katey,

You are so right in saying that hating yourself..it’s not helpful...

Katey, It’s hard when we see people who are doing the same uni degree..move ahead of us...but in reality everyone learns at the speed that they can...Although I don’t think speed is the word I’m looking for.,,,There are always going to people that can do things better then us...and always people who are a bit slower in doing/learning things...

The thing is..to never give up on your dream...Keep pushing forward lovely Katey...you can only do your best, and that’s all that counts...

It sad that you feel that you hate yourself for being inadequate...What is being inadequate?...Its only when we start comparing ourselves with others and our expectations of ourself...thinking we should be as good as them...When we are being the best person we can be...and we can’t do better then that..

Be proud of yourself Katey..you are doing a good job...the best job you can..,,How about taking a bit of time for yourself today...have a nice bubble bath...sit in the sun...give yourself a yummy snack...give yourself time to just breathe and enjoy being the wonderful person you are..and we can see..l

My love, care hugs n pats precious lady..

Grandy..