I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people.
The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time.
As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated.
I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out.
I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know.
I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here.
I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion.
I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know.
I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that.
Interesting about Leonard Cohen who I think just passed away...
He wrote a track called "Everybody knows'...it was peaceful yet somewhat moody and then our government 'borrowed' the track and used it for a anti-smoking commercial just a few years ago
For Croix......Year of the Cat....by Al Stewart...Extended version...not the radio edit 😉
Have a good weekend Kitty
I really hadn't got into Leonard Cohen, until I heard an album recorded by Jennifer Warnes, 'Famous Blue Raincoat', & the title song could be another for my late night gig.
But, forgive me if this offends anyone, discovering he's in scientology put me off. I don't like thinking if I buy something & the money I paid would go to scientology. That organisation is certainly one I would not knowingly support.
Google reminds me, he died Nov 7 2016. I remember hearing about it, but not any details. & Google also reminds me, Joni Mitchell just had her 78th Birthday on Nov 7 - & my memory let me down.
Oh, it's much later than I realised, so I better go to bed. I did go & sleep for almost 3 hours, missing some tele I like this arvo.😾
Thank you, Gem17,
LOL, you are hard to keep up with! I just saw another thread you started! I don't have BPD, so I don't have much to offer there. Just there is a thread, This Bipolar Life, you might like to check out. It's so long, one of the longest, most popular threads here. 😺
Mekitty was so wonderful, & I expect a part of me will always miss her. So, now, I honour her here,😻with all my love.
Happy you are finding your way around so well. 😸
I just invented a new instrument:
The Harpsicordian which perhaps does sound like the mythical harpies.
& there is also: Euphonedrum
I needed that.... having minutes ago seen something I thought I'd not see on these forums. I was so upset,I had a hard time reporting it.
Some people try so hard, for years, & someone could come in & say something which could undermine all their efforts, is shocking to me...How did it get past Moderators?
Oh, & now I upset myself again.
I'm sorry, Moderators, you want to edit this, fine. I just needed you to read it anyway.
Your moderating does seem inconsistent at times.
I can understand how you feel when you see something here that shocks. It is true it can have a very deep effect, however please realize as you recover that deep effects does not do the harm it might have done earlier on.
While it may be terribly painful and raise specters from the past you are a long way down the path to a recovery, and that post will only linger a little time
You did the right thing to report it -whatever it was, as if it distressed you it will have distressed others too.
If - and only if - you want to talk about it more you are welcome, and I've every faith you can put things in such a way they will do no harm
Seems strange, a serious post you you in amongst all the frolicking, now for a song to take your mind off things
She's a Rainbow -the Rolling Stones, a song winch celebrates a happy ending wiht a rescue from bad circumstances.
Croix (who's signature tune is I Am the Walrus by the Beatles of course )
My concern was more for the person whose thread it was. They are very vulnerable right now, & didn't need to see that. (which I won't mention on any public platform).
My bouncing from one thing to the next entirely different thing is my way of coping with the very serious by off-setting it with the ridiculous. I used to use pure sarcasm, as my (ex-)step-mother had expertly demonstrated. I'd like to have a more witty sort of humour like Oscar Wilde, but also sometimes, be very childishly silly, but always. off the top of my head. I do also like very dark humour, but that might not be such a good idea on these forums. I'd very much like to have a sense of humour like Terry Pratchett had. But I really don't know what I got, just that I like to use it.
Now, you surely know about the genesis of the song "The Walrus" don't you? It's hilarious., poking fun at media & reviewers who were taking songs to pieces trying to find some extraordinarily deep & profound meaning where there was none. zin other words, The Walrus was a nonsense song, which meant nothing except to tell them to "don't try so hard, just enjoy the simple songs"
Just for that , it is one of my favourite Beatles songs.
Another instrument , which I've given one to Mum Chris, is the Fogwhistle. It has astonishing to unbelievable range , possibly extending beyond the bounds of human hearing, at both ends. Yes, turning the thing around helps.
I couldn't get my Harpsicordian & Euphonedrum to Mum Chris. Would've shaken up the place for sure, but now, I've had to send them on to shake up your igloo. DB is playing the Euphonedrum, while Grandy will do wonders with the Harpsicordian. 😺 I've written a Duet for Mum Chris, for them to perform - they'll rock the igloo! People will feel it through the Earth's crust, up through their seats in Canberra!
💖💖You too💖💖💖💖, & if you'd like, I might find another bear for you. 😺
Bouncing from one thing to another is a pretty good way of keeping the mind active and under your control, it is however for those that are flexible - like little red cats - and not for walruses who ten to be more ponderous, they take a while to catch up:)
With I am the Walrus, it had a walrus and a policeman and I think at the time all the Beatles had mustaches, so that's enough for me to start with anyway.
Although it might have been intended as nonsense inspired by LSD with a deliberate attempt to obfuscate I guess it is like many more modern paintings I see in museums, they lend themselves to whatever interpretation suits my mood at the time. humans tend to make order out of chaos after all.
Another useless factoid, Here's To You Mrs Robinson has a phrase which is a reference to the Walrus song, or so I'm told.
Croix (who's igloo is off limits!)
I had a 3hr sleep this afternoon, & thought, alright, I will be able to be alert for Star Trek Discovery. I would like if thy would programme only one or two episodes, at an earlier time.
I got up shortly after 6pm , &I'm so tired again.
Thanks Paul, you are welcome to drop in anytime.
& I found another way to zoom & using both Magnifier & zooming the webpage itself, I finally see wat is in the foreground of your avatar! Not what my brain had interpreted it to be at all, so while you are dropping in, be sure to watch that those talons don't contact cat fur or walrus hide, or well, anything other than the fence, lawn, & swimming pool. 😺
More later. HI Croix,I do have some sort reply, but it kept getting messy...