I don't talk about my anxiety with my offline friends

[Photography_lover]

Hi everyone,

My name is Jess and I'm 23 years old. I love doing photography as its a passion of mine, love animals, love walking/doing exercise, cooking and being with family and friends.

I have been with this pesky mental illness, anxiety, since late 2014. I recently came onto the internet looking for forums and found this website. I got sucked into reading the anxiety forum a few days ago and I thought it was about time I made an appearance as we're not alone in this world.

I'd love to chat to those who are experiencing some sort of anxiety and hope to make new friends as I don't talk about my anxiety with my real friends.

Hope to chat soon, Jess 🙂

[Mia001]

Hi Jess,

Welcome to the forums! It's nice to meet you. I'm sure you'll make some friends. Everyone here is really supportive and non-judgmental - it's a great place to be. I'm sure some others will be along soon to say hi.

Hey, I love animals too. Do you have any pets?

Mia

[solabear]

Hey Jess, a big welcome to BB

I'm an animal lover too, I love all animals and I don't even eat them....I'm a vegan. I have a dog and three cats (all rescued).

I also suffer from anxiety so feel free to ask any questions or if you just wanna vent, we are here to support you. This is a lovely non-judgmental zone and I'm sure you will make friends in no time.

I'm glad you posted and good to have you on board.

Hugs from Sola

[White_Rose]

Hello Jess

Welcome to Beyond Blue. It's good to hear from you. Do you have any specific questions you would like to ask? Beyond Blue has lots of information about anxiety which you can download or send for. Look under The Facts at the top of the page and browse from there.

One of the advantages of talking on BB is the anonymity. Unless you choose to disclose your name no one will know who you are.

Do you feel anxious about anything in particular or do you have a generally anxious outlook? I hope you will enjoy making new friends.

Mary

[Photography_lover]

Hi Mia, Sola & Mary,

Thank you all for the warm welcome. It's great to know that I can discuss my on-going troubles here and get some advice.

Mia & Sola, awesome to hear that you love animals too! They're some of the most loving creatures in the world. I have two dogs name Polo & Maggie. Maggie is pure labrador who loves food and Polo is a Retriever x Kelpie who loves playing ball and walks. They are both black and you may think they're related but they're not. They're best mates 🙂 I love hearing stories about rescue animals too.

Mary, I don't have any questions at the moment as I'll be just lurking around but I'll be sure to ask when I do.

My main concern at the moment is probably suffering from some separation anxiety (not sure if I am or not). I separated from my ex over a year ago now due to him moving away for work. And I don't think I have ever gotten used to it. We catch up every few months and I always end up getting anxious and crying by the last day when being with him. We talk almost every day and to be honest we are still best mates. My feelings for him are the same as the last day as he was here and that's the main cause behind this. I've mentioned to him to not tell me when he's catching up with friends because I always get anxious and jealous for him being around other people and not me.
To be honest that reason is probably the main cause of my anxiety. I am also having trouble with work. I work casually and when I get a call saying they dont need me, it brings me down. Brings me down that I end up crying myself to sleep some nights (like last night).

My apologies if that was too long, but it's the truth. Hope you have some suggestions for me.

Jess

[White_Rose]

Hello Jess

I should have put myself in the animal lover group. We always had cats and dogs when I was growing up and up to now.Your post is not too long. There is the 2500 characters limit and that's all you need to worry about.

I'm not certain if you are saying you have some romantic feelings for your friend which are the same as when you separated. If so then I can see how uncomfortable it can be for you. If you have separated in the romantic sense, is there a reason why you still get together? Do you think you have expectations from this. Does your friend have the same expectations? Sorry about the questions, I'm trying to get the facts straight in my head.

I think it will be good if you can decide why you are keeping in touch with your ex. It sounds as there is more than friendship in your mind as you get upset by him meeting with friends. Is this a permanent work situation for him? It sounds as though you would find life easier by not keeping in touch.

It is nice to catch up with friends and enjoy chatting but this is different I think. Can you try not to talk with him for a while and see how this works? You seem to have the worst of both worlds. Too far apart to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but too near, courtesy of Skype, to make the break final. This is very hard for you but the worst part is you are not free to meet someone else while your heart and mind is attached to the ex.

Take a break from each other for a month. Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends, flirt a little and have fun. Make sure you have absolutely no contact with the ex. In fact it would be good if you told him you are going to be off-air as it were for the next month and he should not contact you.

Will it be hard? Yes it will because you have invested all of yourself in him. Once you have shown yourself that you can live without him life will become much easier. You were friends but now it is time to go your separate ways.

Yes I can understand being told you are not required for work on some occasions is painful. Why do you think this is so? What does this job give you that you cannot find anywhere else? I understand you need to earn money but what is stopping you finding a permanent full time job? Something to do with photography as you have a great interest there.

I think I have asked enough questions for one day. Hope you will continue to post in.

Mary

[startingnew]

Hi there Jess




Welcome to the forums 🙂


your getting some
awesome support on here too and you can add me to your list of
supports




I too am sufferring
from anxiety though its not separation it is still anxiety and im 20
yrs old 🙂




I love photography as well and have been told I have a good 'eye' for it. What sort of things do you most to photograph? Oh and also an animal lover 🙂

[solabear]

Hi Jess,

I suffer from anxiety as well since childhood and I know how you feel. Anxiety is one of the hardest things in life to cope with. It's a debilitating condition. Are you on medication for it? I personally have no idea how to cope without meds. Also high dose of magnesium helps.

Hugs

Sola

[Johnno_S]

Hi Jess

Welcome to the forums. I am a newbie to BB and have found the interaction with on the site very friendly and helpful.

We have a passion for photography and pets in common. I firmly believe that since we have rescued a female Beagle (Lola) and bought her a male companion ; also a Beagle (Barney) my anxiety has definitely decreased. Having cuddles and walking them are such a joy. You can combine your love of photography and dogs and create great shots; go one step further and enhance the images and even get them printed and hang them on the wall.

Relief from anxiety is a tricky one. I think the safest way to address it is to see your GP and get some help professionally. I have suffered from it all my life and have only learnt how to handle it with help from my psychiatrist and psychologist.

Stay in touch with everyone on the forums.

Best wishes

Johnno

[Photography_lover]

Hi Mary,

Thank you for responding. I'm glad to hear that you have owned cats and dogs when you were growing up, they're some of the best companions to have.

I do have romantic feelings for my friend, always have since the day he left. We were together for a year and a bit before he left. We get together because we enjoy each other's company and get along just as well as if we were still together. It's distance that separated us, other than that we still get along just fine. I personally don't have expectations anymore since I'm so used to the visitations and mutual feelings. But am unsure on whether he's the same.

It is a permanent work situation for him. He's been gone a year and a half now. I still have this image in my head that I could be up there one day with him but if it's putting me through all this stress, I don't think it's worth the wait?

I have taken your advice and made the big step last night to not make contact with him for a while. Not putting a time length on it as that will only put pressure on myself. So I'm just taking it day by day. He knows about the situation as well.

I like working where I am because of the people and the environment. There's heaps of people around and generally my work colleagues are nice. I work in hospitality and have been in this job for only 6 months. I am currently looking for part time work but unfortunately there isn't much for photography work as where I live isn't a big city. I do my own photography like macro, nature and pet portraits. I hope to pursue pet portraiture as my job one day.

Thanks again Mary