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I can't find the right place for me to post

Moonstruck
Community Member

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

1,331 Replies 1,331

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Moon~

First of all this place is pretty forgiving, you can post in just about anywhere, or make a new thread, and it only has to be very roughly right. So you could make one anywhere your common sense says might be ok (e.g the Social Section would be unsuitable) and it would be fine.

Second of all, you already have a thread of your own, "Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"? This could be a good place to discuss the things you were talking about with Sara - it is your thread after all and you get to say what you put in it. The only downside is that you might not get many new people with fresh perspectives, only mainly those that know you already and post in that thread regularly.

If you do want a new thread so you get fresh as well as familiar posters and want my suggestion then do as Sara has suggested, just make one called Moon's Inner Space in the Staying Well Section and see if it works.

Please don't give to much thought to where the thread lives, nobody is going to be upset at any decision you make, it will work out fine.

Does that help?

Croix

Jugglin_Strugglin
Community Member

Sorry to hear you're feeling so confused and sad.

I don't really take much notice of what section a thread is posted in. I just check out 'new posts', like I did just now and clicked on this cos I was drawn to it. I think most people do the same. Anyway, after 100 posts, all threads are moved to the long term section, so it makes no difference where it was started. I'm sure your posts are valued on the 'getting to know you' thread. I think Sara and everyone else who contributes there, would be devastated to hear that you think otherwise. After all, it wouldn't be such a rich thread without everyone's posts, including yours.

At least you posted, which solved your dilemma. I'm sure everyone will be lining up to give you support. I enjoy reading your posts all over the forum. PS Well done in your tournament last week....now I feel very voyeuristic, but couldn't help but read of it in several threads. I haven't replied before cos I sometimes feel like I'm butting in on conversations, but that is something that I'm trying to work on. I'm sure we all feel exactly the same at times, especially when we are feeling down and over thinking and self-doubt begin to take over.

Why are you feeling so down today?

Lee x

I suffer foot in mouth syndrome....have just read up recent posts in getting to know me thread. I am sorry I didn't read it first, but just felt your distress in this post, so I replied.

I also suffer from decision making. It is agony. It has changed my life. It is the cause of my current state of life paralysis. For me procrastination is an excuse for reluctance to commit to a choice.

Perhaps, now that it is started, if this thread helps you with this aspect of your life, you can continue it. In time, you can always rename it, as I see happened recently.

Maybe it helps to know that no decisions are really final. There are always modifications and improvements that can be made, if the initial choice was not a perfect one. I need to keep telling myself this!

Hopefully, now I have removed my foot from my mouth. See! Hopefully an improvement to my first impulsive post.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Moon, my beautiful friend,

It saddens me to hear you are feeling down and depressed today. You have been on such a high with your 'tournament' so i think it is natural to feel a little deflated now.

As far as where to put your post, i agree that if it is in the 'wrong' section it isn't that big a deal, and I also go through new posts rather than the different sections so regardless of where it is we will find it. Remember also that as so many of us know you we will be sure to read a new thread posted by you, no matter where it is. We care for you very much.

I always post in 'anxiety' as that is my main issue . With regards to how you are currently feeling you could post under the 'depression' section. As we've said, your new post will be seen regardless, the only difference is see in posting in the so called 'correct' section is that others feeling depressed may relate more. I know what you mean about not sure where your post will fit in, I think focus on how you actually ARE feeling rather than how you ARE NOT feeling and that will steer you in the direction of where your thread should go.

We all love you Moon and not matter where you post we will be here for you. It is pretty normal to worry about our children and their issues, no matter how old they are. Your sons and grandchildren are lucky to have such a beautiful mum/grandmother.

CMF x

Moonstruck
Community Member

Thanks CMF...yes of course I can expect a sort of "withdrawal" from the past 8 weeks or so, especially the final part which is so exhilarating - you are right, it is the norm and others experiencing it for the first time after a "game" get a bit of a shock thinking.."why am I so down?".

It's just I have a tendency to "over react" sometimes and when the thread I was enjoying being a part of, seemed to misunderstand what I was expressing completely, and I felt were directing me to go elsewhere.. I felt awful.

Jugglin' Strugglin' your first reply to me here was lovely - made me feel better. No "foot in mouth" at all...thank you for caring....yes if asked to list my worst faults...I would put "procrastination" at the top of my list.

Croix - I wonder why you credit me with "common sense". I have a high IQ... but no common sense at all. I realise this and that is why I am a procrastinator.​

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

I am a procrastinator -and bowler:)

Dear Moon~

I've every faith your will make a good choice in time. You do tend to undersell yourself.

Do you have any plans for another 'bowling' season?

C

Moonstruck
Community Member

Oh Croix....I think it's a done deal that I'll have another go at bowls if there's a suitable place for me. I can see it was beneficial to me and lets face it...I belong there - it's "home".

re: "underselling myself"...When the most significant "others" in your life- even your primary care-giver as a child finds you unacceptable and "not good enough" and tells you so, and abandons you because of it...some of us carry those scars for a lifetime.

Dear Moon, I'm very much a silent member here on BB, apart from my thread. The only places I mostly have courage to post. So often I've typed a response to you but deleted, in case of saying the wrong thing....and that was the wrong thing to do because we all need feed back, support.

I understand well the rejected child in you, I have one too. Your posts in Sara's thread helped me to reach out to my inner child. You do belong there.... As well as wherever you need to post. Oops, lost my courage... Hope I push the post button. W

Hi Moon,

Im happy to hear you are feeling a bit better. I'm glad that I posted, and relieved that it helped. I felt awful after reading more of 'the details', worried I'd got it all wrong. It seems to be a common feeling on the forums - we are all so eager to say the right things to help, but MI and our brain's are so complex and some threads are long, so it is easy not to know the full story, or to misinterprete words. We all know our hearts are in the right place and that everyone is here with best intentions.

Regarding procrastination, I've almost perfected it...done nothing for 3mths while doing it! *There is a fantastic Ted talk by Tim Urban:Inside the mind of a master procrastinator.* Well worth a look, good for a laugh and very enlightening. It should make you feel even better. I'm going to watch it again now.

Wishful, I'm pleased you hit that post button. I often hesitate too. I have cancelled quite a lot of posts, but they are usually ones that are cathartic for me to write. Other times, I decide to hit post cos I only hope that my own experience might help. I enjoy seeing your replies. You have a gift of being able to say so much in so few words. I always know when you reply that you are writing from your heart, almost as if you cannot contain your thoughts on this one, which makes your replies so valuable.

Hoping everyone's Saturday night is happy.

Lee x