Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues
I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.
I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.
It sounds as if you used to have a pretty good system, keeping the weekends for special. It's a shame you can't do something like that now, You do find it difficult to step outside that list of jobs.
A fan certainly helps, had one for many years. Pity you can't go further and get an air-conditioner, it even helps my back - don't know why though.
As for not being ready for Christmas, join the queue:)
I wish I could get back to being able to work hard & then have a complete break but I don't seem to be able to When the kids were young it seemed easier. I was younger & fitter so could get through things easier. I had my husband to help when I needed & I had friends in similar situations so we could visit & have a break while the kids enjoyed playing with friends or cousins. Things were harder after my dad died because I had to move away from friends & had to care for my mum which was extra responsibility but I managed as well as I could. My mental health went downhill after my son became mentally ill & my husband's condition really deteriorated. This happened not long after my mum died so there wasn't much of a break from the caring role.
Every so often I think I'm improving & getting on top of things. I set some goals & try doing things which help me cope & feel better but then something gets in the way & I'm back to square one. Sometimes it feels pointless trying as I never seem to succeed for long. If I could just switch my brain so I could enjoy things like I used to & get back enough energy to do what I need I would feel better. I feel like a broken record complaining about the same things but never changing!!!!
I need to get organised for Christmas otherwise it will be too stressful instead of being a chance to enjoy my family. I shouldn't complain as there are so many so much worse off. I am lucky I come from a good family.
I quite understand what you are saying, however I think you are missing one point.
You set goals and after a while the wheels fall off and you are back to square one. Well, OK, but firstly for the time they are in place -no matter how short - the stress is relieved a little. Secondly, and most importantly, it shows you recognize the the situation and are striving to do something abut it - a pretty healthy approach.
Good luck with the preparations!
Croix (who can produce a silver lining out of practically anything:)
Thanks Croix, Can you teach me how to make that silver lining!!!!
This evening was a bit scary. I'm not normally afraid of thunderstorms but today the storm was so loud & huge hail stones that I felt overwhelmed & anxious with the noise so I couldn't get much done.
To counteract this I'm going to share something positive to take my focus away from negatives. My oven is in & I sealed up the hole in the ceiling & laid insulation over it. Hate getting in the roof cavity but did it. Today I finished the last cupboard door & handles. There is a couple of things to do later but they aren't urgent so can wait till after Christmas. The oven & new cupboards look nice.
On Sunday DIL #1 asked what she needed to bring for Christmas. When I asked for dessert (she is good at making desserts) she offered to bring a Christmas pudding. she hates Christmas pudding so I was surprised & she explained she would bring it for those who want it (namely my husband, 2 sons & myself) I declined her offer asking her to bring something she enjoys & I'll supply Christmas pudding but I really appreciated her offer. I am lucky to have such a considerate DIL.
I have managed to achieve a few of the things on my long list but there are still things needing to be done urgently. Unfortunately I injured myself during the process. I needed to attend emergency as there were no GPs available which took all evening. I pushed myself to finish what I was doing , cooking tea for myself & my husband & then showering first. Glad I showered as I can't get my wound wet so showering is now difficult. It isn't a serious injury but there was a high risk of infection so needed medical attention to prescribe meds to reduce risk.
I feel I could get things done on time if I could work efficiently but I'm not sleeping properly as I have to be careful how I move in bed. My tiredness is really annoying me as I I'm struggling to focus on what needs doing. Currently procrastinating as I was too tired to keep going. I am annoyed at myself for me being so stupid.
I'm sorry you were hurt. Hopefully it will heal quickly.
You know, the English language is a marvelous thing, it allows you to say the same thing in different ways, and that can change how they are regarded.
eg: "Currently procrastinating" == "Currently re-grouping and rebuilding my energy"
Croix (who is just plain awkward - no two ways about it:)
Hi Croix. Are you sure you are not part of my family. Your cheeky sense of humour suggests you would belong. I am trying to balance resting/regrouping with getting things done.I need to get things ready for Christmas or I will struggle too much. I have had a number of really bad Christmas eg after my dad died, when my son was seriously MI on Christmas day, a few serious illnesses & injuries nr Christmas. This means Christmas can be stressful & if things start to go wrong it leaves me feeling a failure & reinforces negative feelings about Christmas. To counteract this I try to get organised well ahead of time so the day is pleasant & helps to turn the negative feeling back to a more positive frame of mind. Of course this year my plans went to pieces.so I'm trying to concentrate on the essential things but sometimes get side tracked.
On a positive note I have mowed the back lawn & cleared the broken bricks from the chimney so there is room to sit outside & eat. Easier as it doesn't leave such a mess & there is more space. Lawns were essential for the usual water fight afterwards. I put up decorations yesterday. My dtr would make fun of them as they are not up to her standard but she's in the UK. I just made a boiled fruit cake (too late for traditional cake) & mince pies. I won't give up those English traditions even if noone else likes them my husband & I do. I need to go as it is late
Do you mean to say you have only:
Been to A&E
Mowed the lawns
Cleared the broken bricks
Put up decorations
Made a fruit cake (boiled)
Made mince pies
Well, perhaps it was procrastination after all.
Croix (who is working studiously on the cheek)
Hi Elizabeth and a wave to Croix
Leaving a virtual Christmas card and gift here for you.
Letting you know that I am thinking of you this Christmas. And may it be a peacefull one for you. Sorry you got hurt though.
Merry Christmas to you
love Shell xx
There is a virtual Christmas gift that I am leaving here for you. If I met you in person...well I would give it to you. It is wrapped up in gold paper with a blue and white poker dot bow. It is a hardback book, with lots of beautiful scenery pictures of the mountains and valleys in Switzerland. There is also a small clear bag with homemade shortbread in it.