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Chris_B PLEASE READ: What this forum is for (trigger warning advisory)
  • replies: 2

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other to... View more

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other topic sections, and have migrated here once reaching the milestone of 100 posts in order to allow members to keep following the life story being shared as it happens day to day. This is not a place to start new threads - discussions here have reached a sufficient level of popularity and depth that they have been moved here by moderators. Long-term support here on the forums is defined in terms of receiving that support here in this space, which is why we have chosen the 100-post milestone to select threads that will appear here. Our research tells us that 55% of our members have been living with a mental health condition for ten years or more, so long-term support in the real world will not be a strange concept to many of you. If you're seeking long-term support on your journey, we'd encourage you to start a new thread in the section that best suits where you are at this point. Making a commitment to daily posting and supporting others will eventually see your thread join the wonderful stories here in this section. A few important points to note: 1. The "new thread" button has been disabled for this section - if you click on it, you will be redirected to the beyondblue home page. 2. Please be aware that threads in this section may contain discussion of suicide, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and other trauma-related topics. 3. Threads in this section may be archived periodically (locked or unpublished) at the discretion of moderators.

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Music_Freak I'm really trying to feel better about myself
  • replies: 1720

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now... I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc. My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only pe... View more

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now... I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc. My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me" My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!! I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

Loop__ 2022 was supposed to be a great year!
  • replies: 6

I'm 30 and I was still working minimum wage as a barista and when 2022 happened I was offered job that was suppose to pay over 6 figures. 3 months went by and my team leader told me commissions will come. 4 months and he apologised it was taking so l... View more

I'm 30 and I was still working minimum wage as a barista and when 2022 happened I was offered job that was suppose to pay over 6 figures. 3 months went by and my team leader told me commissions will come. 4 months and he apologised it was taking so long. Basically by 5 months my boss my not happy to wait because the business was relying my my teams commissions to our side of the business running. I lost my job for the first time ever through a very messy communication process which was basically nothing to do with my performance. A month after I lost my job I was stressing out because money was really low and I didn't know how I was going to pay for rent and food. I did apply for jobseeker but they messed me around and it took 2 months to process and in that time I had to borrow money off of my mum. I went back to my barista job and all was going well after that until the end of November I get caught driving with my car registration cancelled. I didn't know there was a 3 months limit on not registering your car. I also borrowed money off my mum again to help register my car. Ended up having to pay 1.2k which she paid over half of that. So come December, it was going well because I was no longer stressing about driving an unregistered car. 2 weeks before Christmas I get covid for the first time and the first 4 days was very painful. Fast track to this week, my landlord rings and says I have 10 weeks of rent missing and is say she might evict me if I don't pay by 13th January. This time I'm really stressing because it's the most I ever been in debt for and I don't think I can approach my mum for the third time. FYI, I don't get along with my family. My mum is the only one I still talk to and even then she gets very angry whenever I ask her for help. I had to keep the details short because of the character limit.

Tally-Ho Wife doesnt care if i get off
  • replies: 2

Our sex life almost doesn't exist except for when my wife wants it and even then, it is how she wants it and my wants and need don't come into the equation.. to the point that that once she gets off she doesn't care if I do or not and is not interest... View more

Our sex life almost doesn't exist except for when my wife wants it and even then, it is how she wants it and my wants and need don't come into the equation.. to the point that that once she gets off she doesn't care if I do or not and is not interested in helping me out... this just destroys me to the point that my depression goes off the charts and I'm just consumed with anxiety.....We have talked about is and it makes no difference at all.... she has talked about her sex life previously and the things she has done, but won't do any of these with me and this just cuts through my heart and I generally feel broken and overwhelmed with sadness and self hate..... I'm at a loss with it all and can't sleep, and am always just angry with the world.... I constantly have thoughts and very vivid bad dreams of her doingall these things with othe guys and her just telling me no you can't .. It's in my head 24/7.......How do I get over all this .......I'm just broken in side.

hyacinth1 reading quotes.
  • replies: 2

i just want to share a motivation quote with you. ( just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending. she became a butterfly. )

i just want to share a motivation quote with you. ( just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending. she became a butterfly. )

Tonstar Over it at 41
  • replies: 3

So I’ve managed to make it to 41 yrs old and have a wife and two beautiful kids 4 + 6 years old . The last 4 years have been horrible as far as my mental health is concerned. I managed to learn for myself that I wasn’t doing well at all so I took my ... View more

So I’ve managed to make it to 41 yrs old and have a wife and two beautiful kids 4 + 6 years old . The last 4 years have been horrible as far as my mental health is concerned. I managed to learn for myself that I wasn’t doing well at all so I took my self to the doctor and started to talk about things with a councillor.This helped me get through the coming years by making me aware of the anxiety and depression within my self. I feel that the tools I was given really helped me but certainly far from fixing me. 2 years ago unfortunately things escalated so I looked further into my mental health and was referred to a psychologist and he diagnosed me with adhd at 39 years old, so it was time to start that journey. Over a 12 month period I had regular Skype appointments which were about 300 dollars a pop, also I slowly went onto a meds programme which by memory I got to a stage of increasing the dosage, I hated them as they gave me shakes and chills and felt no benefits mentally. With that I told the doctor and I was taken off them and that was that. Since then I have been trying my hardest to continue with the tools that I had learnt along the way. Along with struggling with this and having a young family and constantly arguing with my wife I have found it hard to work a full time job and or continue being self employed. My relationship with my wife is ruined to this point but we are still together for the kids and live in the same house but we do have completely different bank accounts and as financially separated as possible as far as married couple with a mortgage can be. Two months ago I was working and unfortunately sprained my ankle badly haven’t been able to bring in any money for my income. My ankle is feeling better now but my bloody mental health has gone. I really want to take this time to try and sort my head out to try and avoid this from happening again. I’m completely broke now and have no choice but to get back to work. I cannot get Centrelink benefits due to my wife higher income. I really felt that I had an idea which was to access my super to get me through this tough time as I never touched it through out the pandemic. I have no chance for this to happen which I think is disgraceful. Shame on the government for being so strict and no shits given towards individuals mental health until it’s too late. I will be dead and my super will mean nothing. What do I do next because I’m just about done 🤦‍

quirkywords How do you cope with change.?
  • replies: 8

We have to deal with change in our lives every day, small changes and often big changes. I have trouble coping with big changes because I keep comparing my life to what it was like before the change.I wonder how others cope with change. I am focusing... View more

We have to deal with change in our lives every day, small changes and often big changes. I have trouble coping with big changes because I keep comparing my life to what it was like before the change.I wonder how others cope with change. I am focusing on changes in our lives and how we manage them.

Guest_5809 Are we kidding ourselves that things really can get better
  • replies: 357

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my y... View more

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my youngest who was 10 yo at the time attempt suicide and my now 14yo attempt suicide 4 times. I live an emotional roller coaster that I vant keep up wth unless I self medicate. I have 2 inpatient admissions in 7 months cause I just can't see any light left. We exist not live. I am totally lost. We have support services in place but nothing changes . I don't know how other people seem to cope and I can't. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel damaged and broken. I don't want pity and I know there are lots doing it harder than I am. I want to know how to survive this or is it possible t survive ths? And please don't advise me to self care. I truely have little or know time to myself to address my own needs as my chidrens needs are high plus I work to pay bills. Sorry to sound grumpy and selfish. I am just lost and feeling hopeless. Thanks for taking the time to read.

Heartbroken_mum ❤ broken
  • replies: 9

I dont know where to start, how i feel, what to do or who to talk to. I have just found out my oldest son is in jail in a different state and has been for 7 weeks. I dont know much about the charges but do know he wont be out in September. He was a b... View more

I dont know where to start, how i feel, what to do or who to talk to. I have just found out my oldest son is in jail in a different state and has been for 7 weeks. I dont know much about the charges but do know he wont be out in September. He was a beautiful boy with a big heart but unfortunately has always felt he's needed to prove something and chosen the wrong people to trust. I knew things were bad 7 weeks ago when he thought this was going to happen and he said he'd rather die than go to jail. So i did sort of know the inevitable had happened but didn't want the details for self preservation. Found out 2 days ago that he is actually in jail and where. And i cant do anything for him, i dont know what to do even if i could visit him i would just breakdown seeing him and knowing i couldnt take him home and fix everything for him. I probably should start with a letter but i dont know what to say other than i love him. If i can stop crying

focus008 Nobody’s Person
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I have just recently joined.Im 38, female, single and living alone.I’ve come to realise lately that although my family love me because they are my family and will always have that tie to me, I am not important to anyone by choice.I am no one’... View more

Hi all, I have just recently joined.Im 38, female, single and living alone.I’ve come to realise lately that although my family love me because they are my family and will always have that tie to me, I am not important to anyone by choice.I am no one’s best friend, I am no one’s partner, no one has ever loved me enough to stay or go want to marry me or have children with me. It must be the most wonderful feeing in the world to mean so much to another person, but I am always left feeling not good enough and alone. I come home to an empty house after work and cry because life isn’t meant to be lived alone and I feel so alone… I just don’t know what do do about it.

Matchy69 how do i stop crying
  • replies: 784

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.