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Choices_Matter 42 and Sad, depressed and frightened.
  • replies: 0

I'm Peter, Male 42 and i hate my life. I didn't do well at school, i could never keep jobs, i have never had a girlfriend, all i do is stay home. I was born with a rare muscle decease where i can lose the use of my limbs in certain conditions such as... View more

I'm Peter, Male 42 and i hate my life. I didn't do well at school, i could never keep jobs, i have never had a girlfriend, all i do is stay home. I was born with a rare muscle decease where i can lose the use of my limbs in certain conditions such as cold weather, anything cold or if i over exert myself. I live at home with my Dad and Brother who are the 2 most boring and miserable people you could live with. I would have done anything to have been normal in life, i wanted to be successful, i wanted to be strong. I wanted to be somebody in life but i wasn't built right. From the moment i was born into the world i was destined to be a nobody, a good for nothing loser. I hate who i am and what i am, every morning i wake up and look at myself in the mirror and i despise what i see. I am lonely and have no one to talk to. I battle with things on my own, I suffer with sever depression and my mind never shuts off. I am constantly thinking about what could have been if i was this or had been that and it's exhausting. I don't think i would ever end my own life but the thoughts are there, i am always wishing for something to happen to me, something quick and painless so i didn't have to deal with all this anymore. I hate getting older, i dread birthdays. I cry so much now, i exist in a world where i don't belong and it's getting harder to cope with it. Life is extremely unfair. I am frightened for my future, i am not independent, all my life i've had people doing everything for me and i feel useless. I worry for what happens to me when they pass and what is to become of me. I am so scared. I also suffer with Anxiety and i have a phobia where i am scared to look up at the blue sky, i know how silly it sounds, i know it can't hurt me. It's as if i have a fear of heights but looking up instead of down. This phobia greatly effects my daily life and again it is exhausting.

not_dead_yet not understanding
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am a high school student pls call me Ani. I don't know if this will be too heavy for a intoduction (got zero social skills) so forgive me if it is (also sorry if it doesn't make sense it is 2am for me). I feel very attention seeking no matte... View more

Hello, I am a high school student pls call me Ani. I don't know if this will be too heavy for a intoduction (got zero social skills) so forgive me if it is (also sorry if it doesn't make sense it is 2am for me). I feel very attention seeking no matter what i do. When it comes to self harm and crying, even if i don't tell anyone i feel like i am only doing it for attention. Even posting this feels like its attention seeking. This is a problem at school as well, when im eating and when im not, when i answer questions or if i disappear in a corner. Literally everything feels attention seeking. I am constantly sleeping in class because i feel like everything is a big effort and it feels attention seeking too (i think you get it). When i am talking with friends, if they respond well to a topic i will bring it up again and again because i feel like they will leave for other people if i don't. I get very very anxious about it. sometimes i think that my stomach aches are from this (or maybe cinnamon).If they respond to me negatively i go through a spiral. Even right now i don't know if they are my friends or not. With my personalities and well, im sure this is a common thing but i feel it tailored to every single person and its so tiring to keep up. I don't even know what my original personality is supposed to be anymore. I also have lots of issues with family which i also don't understand. I am yapping oops. i feel like i don't have the right to feel anything at all and if i do its attention seeking. (how many times have i said attention seeking). I feel like i overthink alot and never have my mind set on something. I think i'm gonna go sleep now. Welp this is me, good night.

E_B_just_trying New to Autism at 51!
  • replies: 3

I don't actually have a formal diagnosis(?) however two psychiatrist, a psychologist and my new G.P. all tell me Autism with ADHD has been my problem for the last 50 years. I never did any good at life but this makes sense why. Failed at school, no j... View more

I don't actually have a formal diagnosis(?) however two psychiatrist, a psychologist and my new G.P. all tell me Autism with ADHD has been my problem for the last 50 years. I never did any good at life but this makes sense why. Failed at school, no job past a few years before meltdown, no longer working and living only on the generosity of others. I would assess my general mood as despairing. See I REALLY want a new motorbike I can't afford it and it's causing me a great deal of "pain" for want of a better word. I tried a group therapy thing for ADHD but I swear a lot which breaks their rules. I can't tolerate rules I disagree with so I gave that up! I'm fortunate to have good access to mental health treatment however none of them seem to understand me. I'm told I have very black and white thinking but, for the life of me, I just don't understand this "grey" that everyone else seems to get. I'm looking to start a dance group. I can't dance but I like music LOUD! I was planning on just cranking up the music in my shed and start moving. For exercise. I'm pretty over weight and have lots of injuries from when I was younger. At least I can move at my own pace. I'm sort of hoping people in my neighbourhood might feel encouraged to join me. Like a social exercise group. I'm not really sure how to reach out but I think people are sadder than they make out. Maybe we can all be a little silly and have a laugh at ourselves! I am finding the whole Autism experience a little daunting. I always believed one day I'd find the "magic pill" and "get better". Now I know that's not possible I'm not sure where to turn. Well that's me introduced. I'm not complicated but I have been struggling. Maybe some people here can share a joke so we can have a laugh. I can start with a funny story. I bake cookies for a lady whose husband has dementia. They are to help the gentleman suffering to sleep better. My Dad was staying at my place one night, looking after my dog, when he found the cookies I was to deliver in a few days. Not knowing, he had a few with a cuppa. I received a phone call from my mother the next morning explaining how Dad had a stroke and was in hospital. They thought it was strange he could pass some tests, and he seemed a lot better the next morning. So I had to explain my cookies to my Mum, a Cardiologist, two nurses and a General Physician! Everybody laughed except the Cardiologist who wanted a cookie "for research!"

BB Social Zone

Talking about mental health can be heavy. We get that. BB Social Zone offers a space where you can chill out and socialise with other members.

Guest_94277562 Seeking connection
  • replies: 2

Seeking connection I am Arra I am 30 years old, I like mountain biking, fishing, surfing, gardening and going for walks with my family. I am connecting on here as I feel quite isolated, alone and exclude from other services when I actually need *help... View more

Seeking connection I am Arra I am 30 years old, I like mountain biking, fishing, surfing, gardening and going for walks with my family. I am connecting on here as I feel quite isolated, alone and exclude from other services when I actually need *help* not to be silenced or excluded I don’t always get it right, impulsiveness comes with having severe adhd that has affected me my entire life, so sometimes I say things I don’t mean or find rules hard to follow, but I am trying so hard. I have a history of severe and complex trauma, anxiety and issues managing my anger and overwhelm I would like to establish connections and a community here. I hope people drop in this thread to say hi. culture is important to me I identify as Arrernte

Jojo100 Hello
  • replies: 2

Hi  I have been away from the forums for quite some time. Feel like a total newbie! Anyway hello out there peoples hope you’re having a good day. ☺️

Hi 👋 I have been away from the forums for quite some time. Feel like a total newbie! Anyway hello out there peoples hope you’re having a good day. ☺️

BeyondBlue Welcome to the BB Social Zone - Guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is a little different to the others, as you may have noticed in looking at the discussions. Elsewhere on the Forums, we discuss some pretty heavy topics: mental health issues, thoughts of suicide, t... View more

Hi everyone, This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is a little different to the others, as you may have noticed in looking at the discussions. Elsewhere on the Forums, we discuss some pretty heavy topics: mental health issues, thoughts of suicide, trauma, abuse, relationship breakdowns. Here is the place to come to get away from that and have a bit of fun. Distraction can be an important tool to draw on if you're finding yourself overwhelmed by distressing thoughts and feelings. As this is a section for respite from heavier topics, we will relocate any discussions about heavier topics to a more suitable section of the Forums. Happy posting! Beyond Blue

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Guest_74433363 Separation
  • replies: 1

separation after 25 years with a coercive violent man. He did everything and now am lost dealing with my life. I had to move and struggling finding a job. He gets to keep his life and job and am so angry. Just don’t know how to get through

separation after 25 years with a coercive violent man. He did everything and now am lost dealing with my life. I had to move and struggling finding a job. He gets to keep his life and job and am so angry. Just don’t know how to get through

ProjectTeam We're looking into an issue with Forums notifications
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone,We’ve heard from a few members that they’re not getting notifications when someone replies to a discussion they’re following. Both by email, and in their notification feed online. We understand how challenging this makes engaging in discu... View more

Hi everyone,We’ve heard from a few members that they’re not getting notifications when someone replies to a discussion they’re following. Both by email, and in their notification feed online. We understand how challenging this makes engaging in discussions in the community.We’ve raised this issue with the technology platform that the Beyond Blue Forums runs on so they can investigate and help us resolve this.If you’ve noticed anything odd with your notifications recently, we’d love to hear from you. Feel free to reply to this post and let us know what’s happening. If you’d prefer to let us know privately you can email us at modsupport@beyondblue.org.auThe more detail you can share (like what kind of notification you were expecting, when it stopped, or what device/browser you’re using), the more it’ll help us identify the exact issue that needs fixing.Thanks so much for your patience. We’ll keep you posted here with any updates. Project TeamBeyond Blue