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Recently lost my sister

PD08
Community Member

Hi,

 

About 2 month’s ago I lost my sister who was just 37yo out of the blue. To say that this has knocked me and my family is an understatement. She was healthy, happy and the loving mother for 3 children. We are still waiting to know why/what happened other than it was just a sudden cardiac event. I struggled to sleep and talk to anyone about it, my first response is I’m fine. I moved abroad a few years ago and now feel so guilt that I lost time with her.

1 Reply 1

Summer Rose
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi PD 08

I’m very sorry for the loss of your sister. I can certainly understand your shock given the circumstances and how that compounds your grief. Hugs to you.

I think it’s going to be really important for your mental health to let go of your guilt. I also know it’s easier said than done, but that it can be done.

Like all the rest of us, you have one life and need to live it to the best of your ability your way. It’s okay that you moved abroad.  There is no way anyone could have foreseen this happening and we all always think we will have more time. You are not alone in this grief.
I want to encourage you to focus on the time you did have with your sister. I say this from experience.

I have lived in Australia for over thirty years now and lost several loved ones along the way, including my mum. I have felt that guilt too and know it’s gut wrenching.
But I also know that I have never stopped loving my family. I have done everything possible to maintain contact—letters in the old days, phone calls, FaceTime—along with annual visits and hosting family here is Australia.
 
I
choose to be grateful for the time I did have with the people I have lost. I know that I have done my best to live my life and love my family. All anyone can do, whether it’s you or me, is their best. 

I’m confident, due to the love that you and your sister share, that she would want you to let the guilt go. As do I.

Please post any time to let us know how you’re going and take good care.

Kind thoughts to you