My beautiful Grandpa's

[Ahjlees]

I am really struggling to cope with the loss of my beautiful Grandpa's. My Paternal Pop passed away in April and my Maternal Pop in June. They were both living with me and my family at the time and gained their wings as they slept, which has compounded my grief. I am trying to focus on the fact they have both reunited with their soul mates, my beautiful Nana's, but it only provides so much comfort.

The constant talk of their estates and the knowledge that their houses will be sold by years end and most likely knocked down makes me feel I have lost them all, all over again. It nearly broke me the first time.

With us recently having our first Father's Day with out them, and various heartbreaking days ahead; their birthdays coming up in November and December, the anniversaries, especially the 7 month anniversary of my Paternal Pop's passing (which happens to fall on the 17 year anniversary of my Paternal Nana's passing and the 5 month anniversary of the day we laid my Maternal Pop to rest), our first Christmas without them and our last at my Paternal Grandparents home and then starting the new year, with them in heaven instead of here with us.

It is all too much.

We aren't just dealing with our grief though; my parents, older sister and I are all dealing with health issues, my father is going through legal proceedings with work (from which he retired 2 years ago), my brother is living at our Grandparents house and is dealing with having to find a new home and I lost my job in May.

I want to be there for them through everything but I can't even help myself. I feel so alone and am struggling to hold it together.

I love my Grandparents so much and miss them beyond words.

[brokennanny]

I too have lost my grandparents and the day my Nan passed away was the day I felt like an orphan. Although Im in my 50s, with grandchildren of my own, it doesnt change the fact that wouldnt feel a terrible loss now they are all gone from my life. My Pop passed away 23 years ago, and I still talk to him daily, but I know he, along with my other grandparents are watching over me and my family.

Go for a walk, sit quietly in their favourite places and talk to them, you will feel them around you. Its understandable for you to feel like you are lost, the pain will always be there, however you will cope with your grief, and it will slowly be replaced by funny memories and fond thoughts of the precious time you had with them. They would certainly not want you to be feeling like this, they will be guiding you slowly to get through it. We all grieve differently, but you need your own space to grieve in your own way. Life is so hard, but it certainly makes you a stronger person . So many people never have the precious moments with their grandparents, and some dont even get to meet or know them. Treasure your time and memories that you had with them, you were one of the blessed people to have them in your life . I hope you can find some strength to get through this and in spirit, remember they are there right beside you . Xx

[Ahjlees]

Dear Brokennanny,

Thank you for your post and your beautiful words. I want you to know that your advice and comfort helped, at least for a time. We are still having a hard time, even more so now that my Mum's eldest sister is causing problems again and my Dad and his siblings aren't exactly great with the communication.

In addition a pool fence and massive sign have been put up at my paternal grandparents and we have also just recently accepted an offer on their home. I felt the same grief in that moment as I did the moment I found out they had passed away.

I miss them more than I could ever express.