Loss of my cousins

[Gothamfan]

Quite a few years ago I lost one of my cousins to suicide, he was only 18 and had so much ahead of him, a couple years later I lost another cousin he was around the same age and had recently had a child, I was very close with him and his death has taken a toll on our whole family, even after all these years I still find it cope with his death, I’ve learnt to accept it but it just makes my life harder. I’ve lost others over the years but I never really learnt to deal with grief

[Sophie_M]

Hi Gothamfan,

Thank you for sharing this. We are very sorry to hear you’ve suffered these bereavements; we can imagine it would be hard to cope with this and we’re really glad you were able to reach out here. Please know that there’s no right or wrong way to feel in this situation, grief affects everyone differently and many in this community will have understanding and be able to relate to what you’re going through.  

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or our friends at Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800.  These options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer: 

• Beyond Blue 
• Kids Helpline 

I’m sure we’ll hear from the lovely community here soon, but in the meantime, here’s some things it might be useful to have a look at:

• Kids Helpline's pages on Losing Someone.
• Our pages on Grief and loss, including some advice on supporting yourself and reaching out.
• GriefLine’s resources for those affected by Grief and loss.

We hope that you find some comfort here from our wonderful community, please feel free to keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel like it.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[james1]

Hey Gothamfam,

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your cousins, and I totally understand your comment about not learning how to deal with grief. I am not sure if there's a 'right' way to manage grief, but reaching out like you've done now is something that can be really helpful.

My uncle died by suicide and, while we weren't close (he lived overseas), it still sticks with me and makes me sad when I think about it. Unfortunately, his much too early death has taken over a lot of my other memories of him and I just remember his van and my memory of sitting in the front seat as he drove us back to the airport, the last time I saw him. As you say, we can come to terms with the death of someone we care about, but often we still carry it around with us in some way or another - I think this is just a very human reaction to loss and we just find ways to manage it over the years.

Sophie M has provided some helpful links, but I wanted to post to let you know that you're not alone and grief is a really hard thing to deal with.

If you'd like to share any more, you have a safe space here to do that or whatever would be helpful to you now.

James