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Loss of a brother

Laura_Jane
Community Member
5 moths ago I got a phone call from my father one of the worst calls you could ever get he called to tell me that my brother had taken his own life witch was crazy because he was the happiest guy and loved everyone still struggle with knowing that he's not coming back I don't want any farther mother sister brother to feel the loss that I have felt to know that I could have done something to change that day so I am on here to try and help anyone who is struggling and know that you are important and it's ok to say I'm not ok 
5 Replies 5

Jacko777
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Laura Jane,

What a horrible shock and a sad loss that is, I'm so sorry to hear this. I am really glad that you are here to support those that are struggling, you will help people, something good will come from something bad and you will honor your brother greatly in this way. All the best.

Jack

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

dear Laura Jane, hello and welcome to this site, where your comment has again been such a shock as I have just replied to KD about the devastation that has happened, so please take the time to read this post, but with regards to what you have said is another awful devastating incident.

I can only give you my most sincere condolences, which is never going to change your situation at the moment, but I sincerely mean it.

For any family to lose a member to suicide can never be explained, because we ask questions 'why', because he seemed to be happy, loved everybody as they did for him, but unfortunately deep down he must have been struggling and didn't want to explain it to his family and perhaps his friends, because we could never understand 'why'.

Sometimes this can be the catalyst for the family to become much closer, but there are times when it could ruin the relationships between all members, as each and every one of them have their own way to deal with this terrible event, and could become a reason for any of you to become depressed, as it's such the beginning for each of you to unfortunately suffer.

Again my sincere regrets that this has happened, but please can you get back to us, as you are going to need support from people who have experienced this themselves, so we understand everything you are saying.

Please I would also like you very much to go and see your doctor as well, because your deepened emotion needs help and support, I would also offer this advice to the rest of your family, but I can't do this because only you have been able to contact us. L Geoff. x

Gone_away
Community Member
Hi Laura.  I lost my brother too. It happened in July. He was my only sibling and my baby brother and i loved him so much. He was 31. I thought i was resilient and coping ok but now, not so much. It seems to be getting harder as i miss him more and try to return to reality with work and everything else. Although we all experience grief differently, i can somewhat relate. It's been some time since you posted this thread, but if you read my reply, does it get easier eventually? Did you seek help from someone and was it helpful?

Hi,

 I just lost my baby sister 3 weeks ago at the age of 23.

I come from a large family of 6 brothers and sisters, but to lose our baby sister is the hardest thing any of us has ever faced. It's still so fresh but I also find that it seems to get harder every day as the reality of her now gone is really sinking in.

We all have a counselor which is good, but it honestly feels like everything is not right anymore.

It's the hardest watching how much it hurts my mum each and everyday as they were incredibly close.

Hi laura

 knowing what you know now, you may have been able to help.  It's the beauty of hindsight. At the time you did only what you could do, with the knowledge you had and how you felt at that time. Don't let yourself harbour any guilt of any kind. Both my parents haven't taken their lives and guilt took me to some of the darkest days life can offer. I think it's wonderful that you want to learn from it and help others. It's exactly what I hope to do.  

Take care