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Losing my dad has impacted my life

Kt2215
Community Member
I lost my dad last year and the 1 year of his fathers is creeping up and I'm feeling more and more anxious. I don't want to work, see people or even get out of bed at times. I'm struggling and over eating, not exercising much and self doubting myself constantly. I recently got work and then stopped due to feeling I couldn't do it. I just want to feel normal again. The only thing keeping me going is my dog and new partner. 
14 Replies 14

Kt2215
Community Member

Hi Neil,

Sorry to hear about your loss too. Yeah it goes so quick and then bam you get hit with many emotions every now and then. I have an amazing counsellor I have been seeing for over 10 years and whenever I know I need the help I go back to see him. My running had kept me mentally stable and for the first time in over 15 years I havnt had the winter blues this winter just passed. I had some time off work, manage to get another job after losing my job and got my life back on track. I'm doing very well and have built up a great support network of friends around town to help me in tough times. My family live around five hours away so I needed to get some support system when needed. This town had some lovely people who have helped me heaps. Thank you again.

Hi,

So sorry to hear about your loss. All the dates that come up like birthdays, date of their passing, Father's Day and other important dates are a struggle. I always have a good cry, spend time with my dog, outside watching the birds and nature. My dad reminds me of a butterfly so whenever i see them I know he is around. I talk to my dad, I talk to my brother, my mum and family and share stories about dad the happy and sad moments. It does get easier overtime which I thought would never come when your in the grieving process. I also read grieving self help books, had regular counseling and fought against my inner demons. I would never self harm myself again or try to commit suicide again either as I realised my life is worth it and I can work through all the past pain and move toward even though I sometimes go backwards. Grieving is a bitch at times but it makes you much stronger when you come out of it. Always seek help when needed is what my mum always helped me do from a young age. Thank you for your reply it meant a lot to me. I feel supported and not alone.

blondguy
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Kt

When I posted to you early this year my dad was with us.

He passed away 3 weeks ago. Now I really feel your pain....Its a painful rollercoaster ride for sure

Happy Christmas Kt

Paul

pipsy
Community Member

Hi Kt. So pleased you're in a happier place now. Sometimes we do have to endure hardship to help us appreciate when things start happening that are good. My dad was a chronic alcoholic/narcissist, but, in spite of everything he did and even though he ignored me, I do miss him. I too latched onto to the wrong people, I needed someone to support me through my darkness and in my grief I thought I had found someone. The person I have in my life now is supportive and understanding, which in a guy is quite surprising. Men seldom understand females (we have problems understanding ourselves), but my friend is there for me whenever I need him. I know there is nothing I can't tell him, he never judges, always supports. Having that, more than makes up for all the bad choices I made. I have a job which I love, my confidence is total. Like you, I am usually in the sun these days, occasionally rain clouds appear, but the sun always returns.

Lynda

sunny6
Community Member
Dearest Kt2215. I just want to let you know that I am thinking of you. This is a late reply to your post, as you have mentioned you lost your beloved parent in 2015. I believe that the anxiety you have been feeling is a natural grief reaction. I too have experienced this strong emotion after my dad passed. I was in shock and felt anxious, confused, and helpless for a long time after he passed. I hope you have found some healing and relief now. I'm glad you have a dog and partner. My dad passed in 2011, and I still feel very sad to lose him. Kind regards from Sunny6.